What do women really want from a relationship?

Money.




....has nobody said that yet?

Well, on the previous page I said I really don't ask for it, I'm low-maintenance. And I do have a pay check of my own, possibly better than yours. Since you're frank enough to bring money up for discussion.

What's wrong with being frank?

There probably wouldn't be a relationship in the first places if the income were below some particular level. Everything that comes after is secondary. Seems like it should be a factor rather than something we're all politely not mentioning.

really? when I met my husband he was making far less than me...probably 20k less a year...I didn't care.

Would I have cared in my 20's yup but that's where I say age has an impact.

At 35 I had bought my own house, had a new car and was living a great life and didn't "need" a man in my life to cover my bills I did that just fine on my own...I only wanted "some" in my life for fun and well sex....

But that is why my husband is now my husband...he saw a very independent woman who wasn't going to cling, demand attention and require him to take care of her...I took care of myself and my son very well.

so is money important? depends on the woman..

PS he doesn't make less now...I encouraged him to make a career move and he is so glad I did as he is in a career he loves now and makes more than me...

Some ladies would gasp in shock at the idea of asking him to marry her, rather than have him go down on his one knee to present her with a rock the size of a tennis ball and do a whole elaborate affair of the engagement, then to proceed to a cinderella wedding that costs as much as the portion of a house. Well, I asked and it worked for us. Granted we're divorced for various reasons, but I think equality should infiltrate everything in society, including being financially secure on one's own.

I typically LOVE eogtistical a-holes. Let me explain.

Confidence is a HUGE turn-on to me. Not flat-out arrogance, but a high level of confidence. And guys that get labeled often as "egotistical a-holes" have that [generally]. There is nothing worse than when you're interested in a guy and he begins getting insecure about everything. "Are we okay?" "Did I do something wrong?" "I'm sorry." "Are you mad at me?" It's the kiss of death! There's a very refreshing feeling that comes with talking to a guy that is sweet and funny, but who also isn't caught up worrying about what I think. Who cares what I think? Be yourself! If I like it I like it, if I don't I don't. There's also an honesty factor that comes along with that confidence. When a man is confident, he's not worried about whether the truth hurts your little feelings or not, because if you ask a question he is doing nothing wrong by simply answering it. That's a golden quality in my eyes because it is so rare to truly find in people. I want honesty, even when it's ugly. A little tact helps, but a confident man is generally more honest. Those qualities are the two 'biggies'. Past that...mainly a good sense of humor, shared interests, physical/sexual attraction (the basics that we all want in a partner).

BRO DO YOU EVEN COSMO?

No, I am not interested in what COSMO says, I want to hear from real people with varying degrees of education, age, income, and marital status.


P.S. Openly admitting that you read COSMO could be grounds to revoke your man card. :laugh:

I think that tattoo and pose are grounds for revoking your man card (just realized you were a guy). :laugh:

It depends on the woman. The trick is finding the one who wants what you have and has what you want.

Personally, I want cookies.

Money.




....has nobody said that yet?

Well, on the previous page I said I really don't ask for it, I'm low-maintenance. And I do have a pay check of my own, possibly better than yours. Since you're frank enough to bring money up for discussion.

What's wrong with being frank?

There probably wouldn't be a relationship in the first places if the income were below some particular level. Everything that comes after is secondary. Seems like it should be a factor rather than something we're all politely not mentioning.

Nothing's wrong with frank. I love that and in fact can't stand when there's something on people's minds but they refuse to cough it up. They keep a situation in limbo rather than do their best to solve it and move on. And money is a real issue in many partnerships; I think it definitely should be discussed. At this point I wouldn't commit to someone, no matter how much I loved him, if we didn't see eye to eye on how to manage household finances.

(What I meant with the being frank was how my paycheck might be better; some men seem incapable of handling such a situation, which usually includes their woman having a "better" career compared to theirs, like it somehow "demasculinisises" them.)

Well, if a man feels emasculated by a potential mate's paycheck then he's probably got some insecurity issues to begin with.

But what percentage of women are we really talking about here, who have such a lofty disregard for what their date does for a living? Seems like I read something a while back based on all these millions of online dating interactions that characterized income as the number one consideration women (on the average. Always exceptions) tend to have. They were even able to quantify the amount of income it took to make up for a given lack of height lol. So many thousands of dollars per inch or something. Pretty hilarious if you think about it.

Not that men aren't just as shallow about other, mostly physical, characteristics. I just thought it was funny that money was being completely disregarded in this thread.

Everything. And even that may not be enough.

You've been talking to my ex :grumble:

Money.




....has nobody said that yet?

Well, on the previous page I said I really don't ask for it, I'm low-maintenance. And I do have a pay check of my own, possibly better than yours. Since you're frank enough to bring money up for discussion.

What's wrong with being frank?

There probably wouldn't be a relationship in the first places if the income were below some particular level. Everything that comes after is secondary. Seems like it should be a factor rather than something we're all politely not mentioning.

Nothing's wrong with frank. I love that and in fact can't stand when there's something on people's minds but they refuse to cough it up. They keep a situation in limbo rather than do their best to solve it and move on. And money is a real issue in many partnerships; I think it definitely should be discussed. At this point I wouldn't commit to someone, no matter how much I loved him, if we didn't see eye to eye on how to manage household finances.

(What I meant with the being frank was how my paycheck might be better; some men seem incapable of handling such a situation, which usually includes their woman having a "better" career compared to theirs, like it somehow "demasculinisises" them.)

Well, if a man feels emasculated by a potential mate's paycheck then he's probably got some insecurity issues to begin with.

But what percentage of women are we really talking about here, who have such a lofty disregard for what their date does for a living? Seems like I read something a while back based on all these millions of online dating interactions that characterized income as the number one consideration women (on the average. Always exceptions) tend to have. They were even able to quantify the amount of income it took to make up for a given lack of height lol. So many thousands of dollars per inch or something. Pretty hilarious if you think about it.

Not that men aren't just as shallow about other, mostly physical, characteristics. I just thought it was funny that money was being completely disregarded in this thread.

I don't have specific percentages to present and in the end they don't matter, since a particular partnership most of the time consists of just two people. So they have to find a common ground and make things work for them. For myself, I don't care what he does nor how much he makes, as long as he's happy and balanced. If he's content with his situation in life, he can be what I need him to be; my team mate for life. I want to grow old and have fun in the process. Sure, money can take me five times around the world, but I can have just as fun at a picnic date down at the beach with a bottle of good wine and something delicious to eat. Or even walking hand in hand, baring our souls would work; doesn't cost a thing. As long as he's really present when he's physically next to me, I'm fine.

I am curious what women really want from a man when they are in a relationship. Communication?, Security? Empathy? Respect? I am also curious if it changes with age or circumstance, i.e. during your 20s you want one thing in your 40s you decide you want something else. Also does it change when you go from being single to married, divorced, never married. Your thoughts?

Pure worship. Duh.

Build me a shrine, do everything I ask and never question me.

And remember at all times that I am always right and you are always wrong.

Simple and easy.

Ha! My husband knows when it's a 2-large fry day from McDonald's and he knows when to pick up Long Island Iced Tea. What more could I really want in a relationship??