475 lbs and terrified

I started at 404lbs, and after multiple failed attempts at losing weight, I figured I would end up failing this time round.

I went to my doctor one day and he told me that if I came back next month and my blood pressure was still as high as it was, then he would have to put me on to blood pressure tablets - which I did not want.

^^^^^ That was enough to get e in the right frame of mind to start doing something about it.

I started just cutting calories - no exercise at first. I logged my calories and stayed under, and it worked. That then spurred me on to do even better. Eventually, I started going to the gym and going swimming.

That was 360 days ago. I'm 5 days off my anniversary and I'm down 135lbs (give or take 2lbs, as at the minute I am maintaining, due to work commitments) and I'm healthier than I have been since I was 20 years old (29 years old now)

Start with small steps, slowly introduce exercise as the LBS start to come off, seeing results will only then encourage you to do even better - it kind of becomes addictive.

Feel free to add me!

"The reason that you are a fat ugly slob is that you keep stuffing your fat ugly face with carbohydrates! Cut ALL Sugars and Starches out of your diet, and you will start to lose body fat, on a daily basis. Just drink water. No cheat days, not ever.

You made yourself what you are. So, clearly you don't give a **** about yourself. That's a perfect reason for no one else to give a **** about you either. If you don't want to make yourself better, then no one else can do it for you. " - Anonymous Craigslist poster in a health forum

I've been down this road more than once. I seem to always get started and then watch as things fall apart and as I fail to live up to my own expectations. I am thankful that my health isn't worse. Bloodwork wise, I am completely fine. Musculoskeletally however is a different story. I'm falling apart. My feet don't work the way they should. I have severely collapsed feet to the point where doctors have told me I have to lose the weight so they can go in and reconstruct my feet surgically.

I battle with depression as well. These are not excuses for why I am where I am, but a harsh reality of what I am up against: myself. It's time to win the war and lose the weight I need to lose.

So I guess I am here, 32 years old, 475 lbs, gay, and pretty much unhappy but optimistic, to ask for help, just like I was on that Craigslist forum. This is monumental. I cannot do this by myself. Losing 280 lbs is going to be a helacious roller coaster. I am terrified of failing and of doing poorly but I'm even more scared of becoming bed ridden.

So you can add me as a friend if you like.

And most of all, thanks. I appreciate it.

Hugs Hon.
Whether you have 280lbs to lose or 2.8lbs the struggle is exactly the same.
I know the feeling of getting on the scale, and despairing at the journey I know I have to embark on. I can tell you with a reasonable degree of certainty that, once you start, the day to day minutia of doing it, soon takes over and you will wonder what you were so worried about in the first place.
You will be fine.
If I were you I would try not to see it as having to lose 280lbs..how about say just 10% of what you need to lose, the benefits both psychological and physiological will be so apparent, it will motivate you to surge forward with your weight loss dreams.

This is a great place to be.

Some great advice in this thread - I think most of the main points I was going to suggest have been brought up.

I started out at 503lbs myself, and here are a couple of my suggestions that may differ from the norm...

1. First off - listen to Ed

2. Focus on being happier right now. Obviously, depression is not to be easily dismissed, but that isn't what I am talking about. I refuse to weigh in on that subject because that is something for a Doctor to discuss and it is entirely out of my element. That said, I think everyone can take some steps towards general happiness BEFORE they lose the weight.

I can't tell you that losing weight will help you be happier, but I feel very confident, that being happier will help you lose weight.

It might be impossible but try to find something outside of fitness/weight loss that you can embrace. Be it a new hobby, a new job, or following your passion. I don't care if that sounds hokey at all either. I know that my weight loss coincided with finding my business path/success.

You can also cut out people in your life that don't make you happy. It's cold in someways, selfish in others - but again massive help for me.

3. Do not fight your diet. This quote sums up my thoughts on this...

"Honoring personal preference is one of the most powerful yet underrated tactics for achieving optimal health and body composition" --Alan Aragon

Don't worry about all the nonsense you will hear about bad carbs, evil sugar, processed foods, "junk" foods, refined wheat, saturated fat etc... Don't worry about the gentleman earlier telling you to only eat fruits and vegetables until you are stuffed - unless that is your preference. Find a diet that most easily allows you to sustain a caloric deficit.

This is a long *kitten* journey, the more you have to fight your diet, the harder it is.

You are doing great by asking for help and staying positive! As long as you stay active - trying to move around as much as possible every single day, you will move in the right direction. Have you replaced sugary beverages with water? That is always a great step!

Stay strong - you can get healthier no matter what - you are amazing! Health and fitness are always a journey no matter where you are on the journey now you can move in the direction you want go with persistence and focus! You can do anything you put your mind to!

How's your first week been, OP?

One note: I'd definitely try to get some medical assistance, as in check in with your doctor and maybe see a nutritionist. If you're given the clear to work out, maybe see if there's a trainer who can help you get started on basic, appropriate exercises for you.

Also, remember: perseverance. You might have heard the phrase something along the lines of "you didn't put the weight on in a week, so it won't come off in a week." Keep this concept in mind when it seems like everything is slow-going.

If anyone criticizes you or makes fun of your weight, etc, know that it reflects more on them than on you. His or her insecurities are on display, not you. A friend of mine was about 260 pounds when she started doing crossfit and lost about 25 pounds last year and has gained a ton of physical strength. When she was working out at a park with her crossfit gym recently, so idiot yelled at her, something like "look at the fat girl run." Her response? "At least I'm out here doing it." Know that you, too, are making the changes you need to make for a healthy you.

Hey there, don't be so hard on yourself, just take one day at a time and one pound at a time, remember we're not perfect. I believe that each and every one of us has his/her cross to carry in life, mine happens to be food addiction, I'll always be a food addict. I to am trying to lose weight and I also struggle with depression if I don't look after myself, today I started to exercise, I managed to do 40 minutes of walking but If I could only do 10 minutes that would of been better than nothing. I find exercise is not only good for weight loss but also helps me with bouts of depression. I'm wishing you all the very best, you can do this!!! Add me as a friend if you like, take care and hugs to you.:flowerforyou:

Lots of great advice here. If you screw up and have a day where your eating sucks, get back on the wagon the next day. Don't beat yourself up for it. Sounds like you're pretty hard on yourself. It's good to a point to be hard on yourself, but you don't want to do it to the extent that you have a gob of self-loathing. Makes it hard to find motivation to take care of yourself and realize that you deserve a happy and healthy life.

I'm going to second that you may want to get some bupropian (?) from your doc. It also goes by Wellbutrin. The others they offer first, like Lexapro, as someone else said, cause way too much sleeping to happen, take away any sex drive you might have and make you want to eat more. I'm a huge fan of Wellbutrin.

Best wishes!!

I started at 376 in April, 2011.

I've heard people say "you are where you are because that's where you want to be." Well, I never wanted to be 376 pounds. People don't want to be 475 pounds either. We know how we got there but didn't know enough about what to do to change our path.

I battle depression too. It's part-and-parcel of this weird hormone imbalance I have. So I take happy pills (anti-depressant). It is NOT a sin to do so - particularly if it helps you not be such a stinker around your family.

Losing weight has more to do with what you put in your body than what you do with your body. Exercise is a good thing, but learning how to eat better is more important, especially starting right out of the gate.

Getting a therapist to talk to would be a GREAT idea. Particularly someone who has "been there". The guy I see has had gastric bypass surgery and was about 450 when he started ( I think....I know he was in the 4's).

See a dietician. They can help work with you towards making better choices.

Here's some things that have helped me along the way:

Focus on protein, and the fats/carbs will take care of themselves

If you have a snack, have something protein or fiber (preferably both) before you have something carb/fat.

Drink lots of water.

Get a fitbit. It'll tell you how many calories you've burned vs. how many you've eaten, and it syncs with MFP. It really is true that it's all about calories in vs. calories out. This way, if you go over on what MFP tells you (for example 1500 calories) and you're still a little hungry, you can have something worth about 100 calories because you know you'll have burned about 2000plus for the day and not feel guilty for going over the 1500. Hope that makes sense.

1 snack I keep around is light string cheese. Another I use is chocolite protein bars (www.healthsmartfoods.com and you can get coupon codes off of www.retailmenot.com). Those help with fiber too.

Greek yogurt is also great.

It's trie too - if you can portion out things like pretzel's into snack bags (20 pretzels is a serving and is about 120 calories(, then it makes things easier.


Really - you can do this. If I can, anybody can. It just takes being willing to be uncomfortable enough to get started.

I just wanted to add a wonderful person to this wonderful place. Please don't be so hard on yourself--it's so hurtful to yourself that you call yourself horrible things. When you think those things you can even talk yourself into a downward spiral and toward failure and you know inside your heart that's not what you want for yourself.

I agree with so many of the people here who say not to worry about what you eat, but to concentrate more on portion control and logging. I'd also be less worried about the kind of exercise you get and the duration and just worry about getting out there and exercising at all. If you can spend five minutes walking that's five fewer minutes spent stationary. Those five minutes can become 10 and later 15. It's just a matter of getting started and sticking with it.

Please keep up updated on how you're doing. You're among friends here and we really want to see you succeed.

So I guess I am here, 32 years old, 475 lbs, gay, and pretty much unhappy but optimistic, to ask for help, just like I was on that Craigslist forum. This is monumental. I cannot do this by myself. Losing 280 lbs is going to be a helacious roller coaster. I am terrified of failing and of doing poorly but I'm even more scared of becoming bed ridden.

Don't worry about what some *kitten* on CL said about you. They don't know you and mean absolutely nothing. You can do anything you put your mind to! Are you working with a beriatric doctor also?

No, I don't think I could afford that surgery.

Depending on your insurance, this may actually be covered. And Bariatric docs don't just do surgery, some will actually create a customized weight loss plan with you and make appointments to keep you on goal. I know for me, it's a lot easier to stick with it when I know I am going to have someone checking the scale and examining my intake with a fine toothed comb!

Again, pointing back to your insurance, it's good to have your attempts at weight loss documented with an actual medical history. Then if you try to go back for other surgeries related to weight loss (like your foot reconstruction or skin removal or even gastric bypass) then you have a detailed history of your commitment to taking care of your body and the insurance company is more likely to work with you.

Just a thought!