Fitter than your partner?



  • shrcpr
    shrcpr Posts: 885 Member
    I would say we're about the same. We are both carrying about 20 pounds more than we did when we were younger (both mid-40s) but are both pretty active so it hasn't really affected us too much. I definitely pay more attention to what I eat and do more formal workouts (and am trying to lose the 20) while he does more playing (basketball, other sports) but eats pretty poorly. Not sure how I would feel if we were very different in weight/fitness level. Agree that you can't change someone, sometimes all you can do is just continue setting a good example and hope he sees for himself the benefits.
  • margannmks
    margannmks Posts: 424 Member
    My husband is for the first time in his life,getting chunky, while i have battled it all my life. He has a very physical job so he dosent think he needs to exercise and thinks he just needs to do some situps to get rid of the gut. I tell him that if hed just eat what i fix and not all that other crap hed be healthier. Hes the only person i know that can eat fried everything,full fat anything,bacon,chicken livers,fast food stuff and have normal cholesteral. Im at the best bodywise ive ever been, hes at his worst but after 32 years it is what it is.
  • Fittykitty11
    Fittykitty11 Posts: 124
    I definitely am more fit. To what degree varies depending on the fluctuation of my own fitness motivation.

    The worst part is he doesn't see himself as 'less fit' despite his own family members commenting on his yearly weight gain or pointing it out in pictures.

    I hate to say it but he is built like his father who has a quite large beer belly and I worry about him looking like that. Not to be shallow, but....well, I'm not attracted to that. I'm attracted to HIM but we can all be honest in saying physical appearance helps.

    What I hate too is his lack of fitness and healthy eating greatly effects me as I don't like to feel alone in my journey and I'm surrounded by dinner dates, fast food, junk food etc.

    It's nice to see some others in the same boat.
  • sugarlemonpie
    sugarlemonpie Posts: 311 Member
    My boyfriend and I kind of flip flop, right now both of us are trying to be healthier and work out. For once our paths have crossed! We both have a fair bit we want to lose, but are still attracted to each other either way. Mostly for vanity and health reasons we want to lose weight, and are just at a great point in our lives right now for it. Start good habits now, and hopefully they'll stick if we keep at it and motivate each other!
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
    He's fitter, I'm sexier -- it balances.

    True story.

    And together we're the perfect "10"
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    We both include fitness and training into our regular lifestyle. We pretty much train the same, I do the cooking and she eats very well. Both at healthy BF%. If by fitter you also mean actual fitness, then yes I am a little bit more cardio fit, not by much though. (probably not for long as she is doing lots of boxing now)

  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
    My husband is much fitter than I am (he's about 21% BF right now, a number I can only aspire to, heh!). He's always been lighter than I, and he's blessed with the ability to lose weight quickly if he does put it on. But until we both discovered fitness and health, he was... I don't want to say "skinny fat" or anything, but he'd polish off six Dunkin Donuts with absolutely no problem (or hesitation). He didn't eat healthy, and of course that also didn't help me.

    Once I was diagnosed with T2, though, everything changed. I had to eat differently - he didn't have to and I made that clear, but he ended up altering his lifestyle anyway - now we both exercise regularly and eat right. He's lost 50 pounds over the past 18 months, and ... well, my ticker is below (though it took a lot longer than 18 months, heh).

    I'm proud of both of us and how far we've come.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    Both my boyfriend and I were about 100lbs over weight. When we first met, he was about the same weight/size that he is now, and I was about the weight/size that I am currently. Over the years, I ate like him. Of course, I gained a lot of weight and shot up to 250lbs.
    I have since lost 65lbs, and he continues to stay the same. I am more "in shape" and healthier when it comes to eating.

    Luck for him, I find bigger guys attractive. I have started to question whether or not that will change when I get closer to my goal. At this time, when I see a bigger guy and a beer belly, I am still attracted to that. :)

    I dont nag him to change at all. Now...if his health began to deteriorate or he became physically dependant on me in any way - I would then speak up. Regardless, I love him as he is. He was big when I met him, and he may remain bigger until I am on my death bed and that is ok. :) It helps though too, knowing that despite me gaining 70lbs since we met...he always stayed with me and appeared content about my appearance (so if I do become pregnant/ill...I do not have to worry that I will lose my partner because of it.) I will return the same respect.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    He is more physically active than I. He is a firefighter and a farmer. I am a vocational counselor.

    I was 40+ pounds heavier when we married. He had more hair and less forehead.

    I am still overweight but in significantly better shape now. He has shaved his head and now has no hair.

    He can firefighter carry me and squat me 10x. Its fcking sexy as hell.

    When we wrestle, it's an actual challenge for us both. And THAT is sexy as hell.

    Point: Who cares. You love him or you don't.

  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member

    And THIS. This is fcking sexy. Grrr baby, very grrr!! =)
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member

    And THIS. This is fcking sexy. Grrr baby, very grrr!! =)

    WHy thank you. Credit to my mate the photographer for his handy work :smile:
  • JennyHollyHansen
    My boyfriend is very fit and has always had a crazy high metabilism. Unfortunately this is not a good thing because he has no concept of the fact that we cant all eat a whole bag of white pasta and six donuts for one meal and have a six pack.

    That being said, I am much more of healthy eater...and healthier in general.

    We both cycle. While I cycle once or twice a week and work 50 hours a week he works 30 hours a week and cycles 4 times a week.
    Honestly, we have the same goals but different paths to get there.
  • erinelissa91
    erinelissa91 Posts: 63 Member
    He has a nicer body in terms of body fat percentage and muscle tone. However, he has a naturally high metabolism and eats cookies, pancakes, candy, and an entire bag of potato chips dipped in ranch. Boo. In terms of eating healthy and working out, I think I have far surpassed him. I eat clean, for the most part and do rigorous workouts daily. He complains for two days after doing one 20 minute strength training circuit, which happens once a month maybe if I beg and plead. I have a lot more stamina, endurance and I'm working on becoming stronger than him =] Haha
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    Point: Who cares. You love him or you don't.

    pretty much this. but, my SO and i are both in pretty good shape. we do different things though. he's a power lifter and a badass at it. i can't remember the last time i touched iron (though i'm not opposed to it, just not had the opportunity arise). i'm a distance runner. he runs as well, just not quite the distances i do. although i know he can do the distances if he trained for it, it's just not his primary focus. we both can kick butt in a power yoga class.

    i'm pretty sure i could school him on a basketball court though :wink:
  • joan23_us
    joan23_us Posts: 263 Member
    Just wondering if most people here are at around the same level of fitness as their significant other, or whether one of you is in better shape, and/or at a healthier weight than the other.

    In my case I work pretty hard to eat well and exercise and try to stay in shape. Hy husband, while I love him very much, is about 60 pounds overweight, claims he has no time to exercise, and travels for business frequently, meaning lots of restaurant meals which have done a number on his waistline. I do get frustrated by has lack of willingness to focus on his health. I know he works hard in a demanding job, but I also know other people make the time to workout and are more conscious about what they are eating. I try to be supportive, set a good example, and prepare healthy meals when he is around, drag him out for walks so he gets moving a bit more. Mostly I want to to be healthy for our children, but I will also admit that I am less attracted to him since he's put on so much weight. He was a little chubby when we met and married, but now qualifies as obese.

    mixed bag it is... as long as your getting great sex ;) srs!
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
    I am overweight, considered obese, but I eat healthy even if too much and I work out 4 to 5 times a week on average.

    My husband is the perfect weight for his height, but he is flabby, eats horribly and never works out. He needs cholesterol meds too.

    Although, I am overweight, I am still in better shape overall than my husband. It is definitely not just about the pounds and the numbers on the scale, it is about how you take care of yourself.
  • conqueringsquidlette
    conqueringsquidlette Posts: 383 Member
    We're polar opposites here.

    Husband runs miles and miles a day and then spends three hours lifting. Or he gets cranky. He doesn't really bother watching what he eats, though, so he's not crazy ripped. He's just very fit and weighs about the same that I do (albeit six inches taller, of course).

    I.... don't work out at all right now, and I have never found any form of exercise to be anything other than torturous. Tomorrow's a new day to change that, but it's been a long series of tomorrows for a while now. I am pretty into the nutritional side, though (well, I obviously haven't been all of the time or I wouldn't have that ticker going down there, but I mean when I'm trying that's my thing rather than working out).

    We started dating because we saw each other in the gym (back during attempt 6582 at getting "into" fitness for me) and almost broke up a few times while we were dating over my reluctance to go to the gym. Not because he was unhappy with my shape - just because he'd get all excited about going together and I'd either be a miserable cow about it or bail. QUITTING the gym dates was one of the best things we ever did for our relationship. :-P
  • spikrgrl503
    spikrgrl503 Posts: 247 Member
    I'm definitely fitter than my husband. I have an active job (lab scientist- never sit down!), run, do workout DVDs, and play volleyball. At 6' 180 I've got a little bit to lose to get back to the 155 I was when we got married, but I'm still not overweight and I'm likely in better shape than I was back then.

    Hubby is 6' about 250 lbs. He was around 180 when we started dating but I think sits best at around 200-210. It's been a long time since I've seen that though. We do walk together with the dog for about an hour a day, and he's switched from full calorie soda to coffee for his caffeine fix (he's a professor). We cook regularly but he has a small problem with portion size and drinking his calories (soda, beer, etc).

    He says he's trying to lose weight for health reasons but I'm not sure that it's working :p But now that it's summer we're outside a lot more. I hope by the end of the summer he's lost a bit. His bloodwork/cholesterol is fine though, so for that I'm very grateful
  • jfauci
    jfauci Posts: 531 Member
    I'm in a similar situation. In the last year, I've been totally focused on working out and being as healthy as I can be. On the other hand, my husband has gone the opposite direction. He's now about 60 pounds overweight as well, and doesn't really care to do anything about it.

    He's a stay at home dad (kids are 10 and 12), but has plenty of time to work out (if he wanted). Clearly, he has no desire to do so and it's put a huge dent in our relationship. I don't need him to be a fitness fanatic, but he is so overweight and out of shape that he can't do things with the kids and I on the week-ends.

    ETA: He is 5'9" and weighs about 265.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
    My husband used to do triathlons....used to lift weights...used to be a lifeguard...used to work on a horse farm...before we met.

    I used to be in the military...before we met.

    My husband is in good shape still however he doesn't exercise anymore unless it's a walk or a bike ride with me, he eats well but that's because I do the shopping and a lot of the cooking and if he cooks he is cooking for me...he likes video games...

    I lift weights (my PR is his bw...his pr my bw), I do HIIT, I walk, I bike, I swim...but....I still smoke...however I don't get winded walking or biking...with him.

    My BP is lower than his, he has high BP, his HR is lower than mine...

    I think we pretty much break even...