How Do You Approach Friends About Weight Loss?

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  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
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    I don't. Its 99.9% certain that if you bring it up, your good intentions will not be received well. Either you'll be laughed off or you'll offend someone, and they they certainly won't want to hear what you have to say.

    On the other hand I am open with what I'm doing for me, if the topic should come up. If someone mentions my progress, I tell them I feel good & I'm not doing anything complicated. Just paying attention to what goes in and making an effort to be more active. Set a good example, and hope for the best. That's all you can do really.
  • penny0919
    penny0919 Posts: 123 Member
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    Are you golfing with my husband?????
  • kcasey155
    kcasey155 Posts: 968 Member
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    I just put it out there that I'm losing weight and getting fit. If 'my friend' picks up on the conversation I jump right on in there with 'yeah, of course you can do it too if you want, etc. If 'my friend' dismisses the topic casually I let it go, happy that I may have started cogs turning.
  • Heatherybit
    Heatherybit Posts: 91 Member
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    You kinda have to wait until they come to you. All I can suggest is try to set an example without rubbing their noses in it. If they see how well you're doing, they might see the light, and decide that they want what you have.
    ^THIS!
  • Tabata_Mt
    Tabata_Mt Posts: 10
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    I have no doubt that your intentions are good, but I would not say anything unless they ask for your advice. As it has already been said here earlier, there are people who are too embarrassed / uncomfortable when it comes to their own weight. I say this from experience, I have a very dear person in my life who often talked about the fact that I had to lose weight and it made me feel even worse about myself. Reached a point where I avoided seeing this person, because I did not want / was afraid of her talk about my weight.

    Be very careful with it, the desire to lose weight must come from him, and when that time comes, do not be afraid to offer your help!
  • AmyMS86
    AmyMS86 Posts: 30 Member
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    Agreeing with most everyone.

    Chances are, your friend knows he needs to lose weight, and how to do it. You telling him won't make a difference. He has to want it.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I mind my own business unless asked what I think.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    what everyone else says.

    coming from experience, I had doctors tell me to lose weight. I had friends & family tell me out of love & care to lose weight. I WANTED to lose weight. it wasn't until something 'clicked' in ME (actually a major life event) when I actually started losing weight and began working hard at it. it truly has to come from within that person. no one else. that's when I started caring about myself and learning and asking. I know your heart's in the right place but you must leave it alone. or when he makes a comment, just politely tell him when he's ready, you're available for assistance if he needs it.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    I don't because it's none of my business.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    So, I guess what you're really asking is "What's the best way to lose all my friends?"...
  • mlanders22
    mlanders22 Posts: 140 Member
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    I would never bring it up. Ever.
    All of my friends are fit and healthy, and I was the odd one out being obese for years. Not one of them ever mentioned anything about weight loss to me.
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
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    I'm not that big but we all have bigger friends. You know people close to you. How do you approach them about getting fit in a way they will listen?
    I don't it's up to them if they ask me fair enough but preaching at them wont make them do anything they'll just be ex friends very soon
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    I wouldn't ever. Because I value my friendships.

    They all see the changes I have made, and they know I'm willing to talk openly if they have questions. That's all I can or should do.

    Naturally, I can also support them as best I can if they feel like they need to make changes in their lives.
  • alexlabenz
    alexlabenz Posts: 4 Member
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    I've got to agree. It won't be appreciated if you try to initiate this discussion. You're friends know, if they wanted to talk to you they would. The assumption you should make is that this isn't a conversation they want to have with you. And really, the motivation DOES have to come from within. You can inspire, but, unfortunately, you can do nothing about motivating them to want to make these types of changes.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    I don't.

    I set a good example, by being fit, and healthy and happy.

    If they want to change, they ask.
    If they are happy as they are, then I say all the power to them.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I'm not that big but we all have bigger friends. You know people close to you. How do you approach them about getting fit in a way they will listen? My friends aren't into the idea of scanning bar codes and recording work outs. If they were they'd already be doing it. Any ideas? A lot of you guys are going to say the motivation has to come from with in. I don't know, I golf with a group of guys and I've asked a few if they were curious to know what their diet actually did for them which is met with jokes about me being a calorie counter in a negative way. But what I see is the guy who has wings, fries and beer before golf and polishes the round off with some burger king. He constantly reminds us that he should stop smoking as it's killing him getting up the fairways. And all I can think is I can so help my friend. It's so easy. The first step is just committing to wanting it. Maybe I'm just a jerk.

    He seems to be focused on quitting smoking first and foremost. It's a good goal. If I were you I would support him in this goal that he has already chosen for himself first. Email him links about that that you came across and thought of him since he mentioned it at golf.

    Then once he quits if he's still having trouble getting up the fairways he will look to other causes and might think about his weight/eating habits. Cal counting isn't the only way to lose so at that time whatever his method is support his efforts. As long as it's not diet pills or prancersize or other idiocy b/c freinds don't let friend's fen-phen.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    If they ask I will answer any questions that they have but I don't dare bring it up first.

    Last year my best friend asked me to help walk her through how to use MFP. I showed her all of the features and explained the calorie goal and gave her some tips on how to lose weight. That lasted about two weeks if that. I never brought it up again even when she called last week telling me that her doctor wants to test her for diabetes and brought up her weight. It's hard sometimes because we don't want to see our friends deal with health issues but at the same time she is an adult and has to make the choice for herself.
  • runningagainstmyself
    runningagainstmyself Posts: 616 Member
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    If they don't want to hear it, they're not going to. If they didn't ask for advice, you shouldn't be giving it. All that ends up doing in the long run is alienating people you care about, which, to be honest, likely isn't what you are seeking to do. It sounds like you have the best of intentions.

    I have found in my journey that if people want to know how to help themselves, they will generally come to you and ask how you did it. All you can do until then is support them in the best ways you know how without rubbing their nose in your successes and/or their lack thereof.
  • Claremoak
    Claremoak Posts: 75 Member
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    Don't, it will not be appreciated. If they approach you tell them what worked for you, and be willing to help when asked, but everyone has to find their own will to do it.

    My husband had heart bypass surgery last year and needs to loose about 40 pounds, but doesn't want to give up his eating style, even though he knows he should. He knows what I do to lose, but I don't preach at him, tempting as it is. I was the obese one for 35 of the 42 years we were married and he was in great shape until the last 7 (after he quit smoking). He never nagged me, so I return the favor.
    You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink!
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
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    jabba.gif

    Show them Return of the Jedi. When Jabba starts talking, pretend your friend is speaking to you, instead.

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