Why bother?!

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Replies

  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    OP, I'm not gonna fuss at you for your reasons, motivation, or logic. Your reason for doing things is your own business.

    But I will say that if you do things to make other people happy, you're almost always going to be disappointed. I find that it's much easier to please myself with my accomplishments, than other people.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 900 Member
    If you lost weight for everyone else to notice you did it for all the wrong reasons. Hope you're just having a bad day and your attitude toward your health improves

    I was having an awful day with a bunch of stuff going on (not related to this) and just kinda felt frustrated with everything and kinda needed a rant. I like to think normally i have a better attitude than 'everyone needs to look at me and tell me how wonderful i am'

    When you are in that "bad day" state there is usually more truth that comes out. It sounds like you do care a lot about what others think of you. This is not bad. It's normal to a degree. We all have that feeling. But if you are living your life solely based on what you think others will think of you, you will be disappointed. Also, a little secret that most people won't tell you: most people really don't care about your success even if they say it. If anything they will be a little jealous of it.
  • Muffie22
    Muffie22 Posts: 77 Member
    If you lost weight for everyone else to notice you did it for all the wrong reasons. Hope you're just having a bad day and your attitude toward your health improves

    I was having an awful day with a bunch of stuff going on (not related to this) and just kinda felt frustrated with everything and kinda needed a rant. I like to think normally i have a better attitude than 'everyone needs to look at me and tell me how wonderful i am'

    When you are in that "bad day" state there is usually more truth that comes out. It sounds like you do care a lot about what others think of you. This is not bad. It's normal to a degree. We all have that feeling. But if you are living your life solely based on what you think others will think of you, you will be disappointed. Also, a little secret that most people won't tell you: most people really don't care about your success even if they say it. If anything they will be a little jealous of it.

    wise words
  • ninav1980
    ninav1980 Posts: 514 Member
    I'm in a healthy weight range now (but didn't used to be). I've lost around 28lbs, yet not one person has commented on the change. Why do I even bother? Why don't I just eat a loada ice cream and cake since I obviously looked the same when I was 28lbs heavier?!


    Have you purchased new clothes? Someone posted about this the other day and I mentioned that nobody really noticed the weight loss on me either until I bought new clothes. It makes a huge difference. That might help showcase your changing body. If you are wearing baggy and loose clothing, kind of hard to see any change. Im pretty sure you dont look the same. 28lbs is a lot of weight.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    You should post before and after pics to the Success Stories forum! Or talk about your journey there. If you're not getting the positive reinforcement from your life, I recommend getting it there on the forums.
  • mr_mitch
    mr_mitch Posts: 176 Member
    Like another person said, if its someone you see on a regular basis, then its more difficult for them to notice.

    I always found that the people to notice were the ones that you only see once in a blue moon!
  • aarnwine2013
    aarnwine2013 Posts: 317 Member
    I've lost almost 30lbs and I've only had a few people comment and those are the people that knew I was trying. I think people notice but don't comment and I think that's ok.

    I understand you wanting people to notice. It's nice when your efforts are noticed. It's like a reward for hard work and I get that.

    That being said, I didn't do it for anyone else, I did it for me and I hope you are proud of yourself. This journey can be tough but rewarding in it's self.

    It's early but hopefully that makes sense...
  • lwestmill
    lwestmill Posts: 91 Member
    Ah yes, my 94 year old dad didn't notice!!!!!

    I had to show him my before gross underwear and tee shirt pic before he realized! LOL I guess too many TV shows of John Wayne, Cleveland Indians, Bonanza, I Love Lucy, and the one where you got that town and Miss Kitty is at the bar with Festis and Matt Dillin, Murder She Wrote, has his head up soaked up. He said, " I just see you all the time running around, I don't notice stuff like that." Well ask him about that episode and what will happen at the end and he will let you know. I don't even have to watch the shows, I just spend about 10 minutes getting the plot and ask him the endings.

    So, really in the end of the 'LIFE" episode.
    You are either old. (he is thin btw)
    Or, you are not old!


    You are dead.
  • sculli123
    sculli123 Posts: 1,221 Member
    First you should lose weight and exercise for YOU not for anyone else. Keep going, you'll start to feel better about YOU and then other people will start to notice change but that's a side benefit. You need to change yourself first inside and out and don't worry about the other people. Like the saying "build it and they will come".
  • GBrady43068
    GBrady43068 Posts: 1,256 Member
    I can definitely feel the difference within myself, it's just kinda upsetting that no one else notices. I should definitely be doing it for myself rather than other people though :). I've DEFINITELY got fitter- i ran 5k the other day where my previous record was like 10 minutes :P. That feels pretty good.
    I''m not gonna go as far as "Doing it for you is enough.." I would be an absolute liar if I said I didn't get any validation from other people noticing my weight loss. I think realistically, if we're honest, having others notice the change is at least a portion of what drives us to keep "doing this" and as long as we're not trying to do it with gimmicks, crash diets, or we don't have dangerous body images (pro-Ana, bulimia etc.), I don't think that's such a terrible thing to have a little bit of vanity when it comes to how others view us.

    The real question now is probably: Are you at your goal weight?

    If you are, focus on body recomposition...time to come up with a weight regimen to shape yourself so that others notice. If you aren't at goal weight, don't let up.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    I'm in a healthy weight range now (but didn't used to be). I've lost around 28lbs, yet not one person has commented on the change. Why do I even bother? Why don't I just eat a loada ice cream and cake since I obviously looked the same when I was 28lbs heavier?!
    so you did it for others?
  • Shutter_bug03
    Shutter_bug03 Posts: 35 Member
    Everyone has a bad day here and there. Be proud of your success and keep on truckin!
  • UkguyJul
    UkguyJul Posts: 2 Member
    You did it for you no one else, screw them if they ain't noticed(they probably have just not saying)
  • Lilenatalem
    Lilenatalem Posts: 46 Member
    Are you doing this for other people, or yourself?

    Next time you're at the gym, pick up something that weights 30lbs...Tell me it's not easier on your body having to lug all that around.

    You took the words outta my mouth!
  • dlhollin1
    dlhollin1 Posts: 696 Member
    I would bother to improve my health. I'm not looking for people to fawn over how great I look. I want to see my Bad cholesteral numbers improve and my glucose out of the pre-diabetes range. Do it for you would be my advise.
  • Caper88
    Caper88 Posts: 418 Member
    It might not be a case of people not noticing but not wanting to comment. Weight loss seems to be a taboo subject for some reason. They may feel like they will embarrass you if they say something about it. I would say it more then likely that they noticed but don't want to say anything.

    There is a quote that says "it takes 4 weeks for you to notice change in your body. It takes 8 weeks for your friends to notice and 12 weeks for the rest of the world. Give it 12 weeks. Don't quit." Bother because you are doing it for your self. Bother because it is for your health and happiness.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Yes, because nobody mentioning that you LOOK different is reason to intentionally go back to an UNHEALTHY way of living.
  • sculli123
    sculli123 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Yes, because nobody mentioning that you LOOK different is reason to intentionally go back to an UNHEALTHY way of living.
    Yeah people in my everyday life don't say chit to me about it. lol But that doesn't stop me and never will. ^^Sick deadlift by the way!
  • 12pillows
    12pillows Posts: 81 Member
    Bother because you are a SMOKING HOT MEGABABE!!!!

    holy **** I actually feel terrible!!!

    I am one of muffie's real life friends and I would like to publicly apologise for not saying anything!!!

    You absolutely look different and you are amazing for having lost so much! I only realised in the last couple of days how much you've actually shifted, and I'm so proud of you!!! Especially considering how much takeaway you have to dodge, and working in a restaurant that serves delicious 1000 calorie starters! I'm lucky I work in a sushi restaurant with loads of low-cal options! I'd have no chance otherwise!

    I agree with what some other people said about getting tighter clothes! We should go shopping again, and squee at all the smaller clothes we can now fit into! We'll get some shiny catsuits so everyone can stare at our sexy butts!

    But srs I think the reason I haven't said anything is cause I'm dumb and also because I never know how to say it without sounding like a creepy weirdo! Like when I was telling sophie her legs were ace last night I felt like a right perv :( I've defs noticed your trousers are looser now though, and obviously last night when you showed me how much your costume was too big. You're doing great and you should feel great and I'm sorry I've not been supportive enough :( I know you won't have posted this for me to see so I'm sorry if this long rambling post makes you uncomfortable, but I understand how you feel and I really really don't want you to feel discouraged.
    Gemma was saying the other day how well you're doing too, so it is being noticed! I guess we all need to be more vocal :(
    (also in response to people saying it might be jealously, I would never not comment over jealousy! If you start getting too sexy I'll just start leaving cakes and pies in your fridge when I visit ;D muahaha)

    Much love pal!!!!!!
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    I can't stand when people comment on my weight. It is awkward and embarrassing. Therefore I'm probably unlikely to comment on other person's weight. Maybe the people around you feel the same way.
  • SDkitty
    SDkitty Posts: 446 Member
    I haven't read every comment but in my experience a LOT of people are uncomfortable telling someone "hey you've lost weight huh?" or any variation...not everyone is receptive of comments like that. Some people have lost weight due to poor health or stress and would not want to hear it. Have you been vocal to the people that you expected comments from about how hard you've been working and how proud you are of yourself? In today's day and age of political correctness they may be just biting their tongue. Try breaching the topic yourself. You don't have to full on toot your own horn but can mention that cool new work out you tried or something like that :flowerforyou:

    BTW I realize this isn't the case for everyone. I am merely speaking from past experience. When I got up to 170 lbs I was very depressed so when I first began to drop weight a lot of people close to me were afraid that if they revealed they were aware of my weight gain that I would get more depressed.
  • Muffie22
    Muffie22 Posts: 77 Member
    Bother because you are a SMOKING HOT MEGABABE!!!!

    holy **** I actually feel terrible!!!

    I am one of muffie's real life friends and I would like to publicly apologise for not saying anything!!!

    You absolutely look different and you are amazing for having lost so much! I only realised in the last couple of days how much you've actually shifted, and I'm so proud of you!!! Especially considering how much takeaway you have to dodge, and working in a restaurant that serves delicious 1000 calorie starters! I'm lucky I work in a sushi restaurant with loads of low-cal options! I'd have no chance otherwise!

    I agree with what some other people said about getting tighter clothes! We should go shopping again, and squee at all the smaller clothes we can now fit into! We'll get some shiny catsuits so everyone can stare at our sexy butts!

    But srs I think the reason I haven't said anything is cause I'm dumb and also because I never know how to say it without sounding like a creepy weirdo! Like when I was telling sophie her legs were ace last night I felt like a right perv :( I've defs noticed your trousers are looser now though, and obviously last night when you showed me how much your costume was too big. You're doing great and you should feel great and I'm sorry I've not been supportive enough :( I know you won't have posted this for me to see so I'm sorry if this long rambling post makes you uncomfortable, but I understand how you feel and I really really don't want you to feel discouraged.
    Gemma was saying the other day how well you're doing too, so it is being noticed! I guess we all need to be more vocal :(
    (also in response to people saying it might be jealously, I would never not comment over jealousy! If you start getting too sexy I'll just start leaving cakes and pies in your fridge when I visit ;D muahaha)

    Much love pal!!!!!!


    Hahah I'm also super awkward with trying to do compliments so I'm actually the biggest hypocrite for posting this. Never going on the internet after making friends with a bottle of southern comfort on a **** night again. I'm always really impressed by how much self control you have. you may work in a sushi restaurant but that doesn't mean temptation isn't there... i managed 900 calories of sushi the other day, and that's when i thought i was being controlled! :P. I love sushi so much.

    Defs need to go clothes shopping though... if only i hadn't spent all my money on fancy scales (which today gave me two different readings 4lbs out from each other... what?!). We need to wear the catsuits always. I do have some clothes that fit well from when i was thinner or that didn't quite fit when i bought them but i was like "i'm definitely gonna fit these perfectly in 2 weeks!" and then they got abandoned at the back of my wardrobe, still not fitting 2 years later lols. But i'm definitely low on clothes options!

    I can't wait for these free cakes and pies ;P

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