Co-worker looks anorexic. Help with ideas please.

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  • healingnurtrer
    healingnurtrer Posts: 217 Member
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    http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-family-friends-network

    If it gets really serious. ^
  • cherrilovee
    cherrilovee Posts: 194 Member
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    Unless she comes to you for advice, it's considered rude. If she does ask for help then by all means, help!
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    Echoing what's been said above.
    Seriously, don't touch that with a 10000 foot pole.
    You could potentially be putting yourself in an HR nightmare if you approach this in any way, or make any accusations that she may have an ED. You're assuming without facts. Let it be and focus on your job, not your coworkers.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    I wouldn't say anything unless she asks you for your thoughts. It's not your place to comment on someone else's body or health choices.
  • thursdaystgiles
    thursdaystgiles Posts: 98 Member
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    I have a cousin who's 5'2" and has rarely broken 100lb in her adult life (she's 37). She actually has gotten as low as 84lb in her late 20s and is currently in the mid-90s. She is not anorexic or bulemic, in fact she has to drink special shakes twice a day on top of her full meals to try to put on weight. This is something that's caused her serious grief all her life because people constantly accuse her of an eating disorder when she tries so hard to put on/maintain weight. She has a few different disorders, and it's heart-breaking for her, because she wants to have children of her own and can't gain enough weight to even get pregnant, so she's had to adopt. The point is, you have no clue what someone's going through, so unless you're bffs, you should leave it alone.
  • jetobukur
    jetobukur Posts: 22 Member
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    Great advice everyone. Thank you :)

    We are a very close circle of people at work and it is not uncommon to behave like friends more than co workers. I just want to be proffesional. I'll just mind my own business and try an be supportive instead of giving advice. Always trying to better myself.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    I would give her a huge box of ding dongs and a copy of Karen Carpenter's biography. Then elaborate on the idea that eating disorders are total BS and that she is not gaining weight because she doesn't want it enough. Then produce some kind of Dr. Oz type supplement and tell her it should help put "meat on her bones."

    ...or just let her be.
  • Ibanez_Imp
    Ibanez_Imp Posts: 2 Member
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    They need some McDonalds.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
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    I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,531 Member
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    I'd be concerned about wearing ankle weights while walking or stair climbing. That's too hard on the knees and she could damage her knees doing that. :drinker:
  • jetobukur
    jetobukur Posts: 22 Member
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    I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?

    I don't know! I never made any comments about her figure except for when I told her she seems that weight training would benefit her more than cardio. I also do not asume she is anorexic.
  • natstar26
    natstar26 Posts: 130 Member
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    My sister went through this and how me and my family approached it was with out pointing out her disorder but this girl just simply may be on the smaller size. If she does have a problem, she would have her own friends or family would be there for her. I get its hard to see someone in that state, if she actually is but you just need to be nice and stay positive.
  • ken_m
    ken_m Posts: 128
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    ghost bulk to the rescue
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Great advice everyone. Thank you :)

    We are a very close circle of people at work and it is not uncommon to behave like friends more than co workers. I just want to be proffesional. I'll just mind my own business and try an be supportive instead of giving advice. Always trying to better myself.

    You have responded very well to the advice in the thread. :flowerforyou:
  • cheripugh1
    cheripugh1 Posts: 357 Member
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    One of my co-workers (a super nice person), looks way to skinny to me. He sais she eats burgers every day, but I am not sure how many of them. I understand that is none of my business but two days ago she was talking about how she was trying to get in shape and, she is doing stairs now with weight on her ankles, and running more. I told her if anything she probably should just lift and not do any cardio as she does not look like she needs it. I was afraid of saying anything else because I understand that it is tricky. I just could not support her decision on cardio.

    Have any of you ever found themselves in this situation? Can I help in any way? I hope I can, or at least not make the situation worse. Thank you in advance for all your feedback.

    YOU are overstepping your place! You have a lot to lose sorry but thin people look too thin to very overweight people. and she may naturally be a thin person, I know a few of those. her choice of exercise is her business, you are not a fitness expert. many thin people run and add weights to increase their muscle mass. and maybe just maybe she is trying to make a suggestion to YOU for you to use to exercise.... you do not live with her or know her facts so you need to keep out of it!
  • thirteeninches
    thirteeninches Posts: 61 Member
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    Great advice everyone. Thank you :)

    We are a very close circle of people at work and it is not uncommon to behave like friends more than co workers. I just want to be proffesional. I'll just mind my own business and try an be supportive instead of giving advice. Always trying to better myself.

    You have responded very well to the advice in the thread. :flowerforyou:

    "Very well" doesn't describe it. More like incredible and gracious in light of the pile-on responses she got. I am seriously impressed with her tolerance and patience.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
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    I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?

    I don't know! I never made any comments about her figure except for when I told her she seems that weight training would benefit her more than cardio. I also do not asume she is anorexic.

    I understand you have not made that specific comment. I'm just asking that you put yourself in her shoes and not stick your nose in her business.
  • Siriku
    Siriku Posts: 22 Member
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    Different people have different ideas of what's considered 'anorexic'. Unless there are clear health issues being displayed, you can't assume somebody has it. Even if they're tiny.

    A couple of people have wondered if I'm anorexic before (as well as a lot of people stating that I'm too skinny and need to eat more). My BF is like 12%(ish). Something I have noticed is that every single one of these people have been rather overweight. Makes me wonder whether a lot of people just automatically view anyone that's significantly thinner then them as anorexic.
  • jetobukur
    jetobukur Posts: 22 Member
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    Different people have different ideas of what's considered 'anorexic'. Unless there are clear health issues being displayed, you can't assume somebody has it. Even if they're tiny.

    A couple of people have wondered if I'm anorexic before (as well as a lot of people stating that I'm too skinny and need to eat more). My BF is like 12%(ish). Something I have noticed is that every single one of these people have been rather overweight. Makes me wonder whether a lot of people just automatically view anyone that's significantly thinner then them as anorexic.

    That's an intriguing observation. From personal experience, two of my sisters never ate much food growing up, and I remember one of them fainting a lot, from undereating.
  • healingnurtrer
    healingnurtrer Posts: 217 Member
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    I have to ask... how would you feel if a coworker said you were anorexic but you weren't?

    I don't know! I never made any comments about her figure except for when I told her she seems that weight training would benefit her more than cardio. I also do not asume she is anorexic.

    I understand you have not made that specific comment. I'm just asking that you put yourself in her shoes and not stick your nose in her business.


    I've been in this situation before- I started a medication that made me lose weight (I went from my ideal weight to underweight)- the doctor wanted to try it out a little longer and see if the side effects went away but finally switched me to a new medication and I gained the weight back. I looked anorexic for a few months and received comments of concern from my co-workers, people thought I had an eating disorder and I didn't. So I can share from my experience it was super embarrassing but I wasn't offended and I was glad people cared about me. Everyone reacts differently to things...

    OP, I think it's great that you care about your co-worker and I want to know how to act. It's a sensitive situation because she could truly need help/ intervention. On the other hand she could be fine and bringing it up could make her really uncomfortable.

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