Support from your Partner

Sure, support is great, but do you really want it if you have to prompt him for it? That's like giving your friend money to buy you a birthday present. Why bother.

I say dump him.

My husandhas been great. We joined a gym together and tho he doesn't need to lose any weight (his bodyfat is already at 18%), he supports me. We go together when we can and he shows me new weight lifting techniques, and pushes me when we're on the weight machines. He's tried to change the way he eats, but that is hard for him. I cook a lot healthier and he hasn't complained yet, he just stops at gas stations on his way to work to get his "goodies". I make his lunch every day and his sandwiches are now on whole wheat bread and no mayo, just mustard. I wish he'd let me add lettuce, but he hates it on sandwiches!

Support comes in lots of different Forms. My husband isn't working out with me anymore, And He's always the one to suggest ordering Pizza and Other junk food. He knows I'm working out more and eating better, and but I can tell he'd rather not hear about it too much. We've had to come to a happy medium since he hurt himself - I keep a lot more to myself, but a little less information adds to the mystery, and that's a good thing.

But I can't say he's not supportive, because he is a fantastic husband, He response well when I fish for complements (even though he knows I'm fishing) And he always lets me know he finds me sexy (fishing or not), I know he wants this for me, but I've learned that pushing him to accommodate me or my diet only backfires.

I'm not losing as fast as when we were a team. But I had to find a way to do this on my own. Initially when he got hurt I gained almost all the weight back that we had lost together. So I'm retraining myself, to motivate myself on my own. He may join me again one day, but I need to be in a place where it doesn't matter. Where the up's and downs of the people closest to me, don't dictate my results. In the end, him no longer 'supporting' me may be the best for me to build the strength and confidence that I need.

My husband is an utter star. He listens to me prattle on about MFP and tries all my new recipes. He loves walking with me, though I don't think I'll ever get him in the pool (he's a cyclist). He bought me a Fitbit and a Cross Trainer (better than flowers/chocolates any day!). He's always encouraging me and is totally supportive of my goals. It's incredibly motivating to know that what I'm doing is coming from a place of positivity (getting healthy/having fun) and not because of some paranoia that he'll 'go off me' if I don't lose weight. I've never had a negative weight-related comment from him in our 14 years together. So long as I'm happy, he's happy (and vice versa). His only minor concern is that my bum will shrink so he keeps asking if I've done my squats LOL.

Whatever I lose, it's just as much down to his love and support as it is to my own hard work.

Haha! Mine listens to me prattle about MFP too!

We even log back into the forum to see my conversations some days together!

He wants to make an account.

Mine just wants me to be happy... so if working out makes me happy he will support that... That's not to say he won't try to shove candy in my face every once in a while.. but whatever...

I come here because my husband isn't really supportive in the way I would like him to be. And that is ok! It use to really upset me (and still does on occasion) but I realize (FINALLY!) that this is on me and I am free to make my own choices. We live and do everything together but if I choose a healthier lifestyle I can't drag along a grumpy, uninterested party.
I tried getting him involved a couple times but it derailed and made us both kind of unhappy.
I am learning to not make it personal, we don't necessarily talk about it, but we know there is a difference in our eating and exercise habits.
Because I do not resent him for not working out together, and not judging him for his choices, I find myself free to focus on what makes me happy and healthy. I have a hard enough time keeping myself afloat, no need to try to support another who is not on board.
We have learned to accept that we have different ideas of what a healthy lifestyle is.
But you are here at MFP and I have found so many amazing, supportive individuals here that replace any lonely feelings I have about my journey.

He's supportive as long as I'm sticking to what I'm supposed to do, but when I'm slacking he doesn't do much in the way of motivation.

His basic philosophy is as long as I'm happy, he's happy.

I was just wondring how many of you get support from your partner and if so what type.

I do get support, but only because I've proactively let him know:
1. that I'd like support, and
2. specific suggestions of what support looks like for me right now.

Consequently he compliments my workouts and doesn't bring certain types of food I'm prone to inhaling into the house.

Before I had those conversations with him, I got no support because I was expecting him to think like a woman and read my mind about what kind of encouragement I wanted.

Agree, we need to communicate our needs and let them know just how important this change for a healthy lifestyle is , I am blessed to have a hubbys love and understanding of my journey , since I uave b een on MFP, I have been very happy internally, I find myself smiling even while driving to work, LOLOLOL.

I have had no support from my husband. He is a man of few words and has never been one to give me an "atta girl." He has tried to sabotage my choices and has finally stopped. He has been asked twice what he thinks of my accomplishments and states he is proud of me but only to the to the person asking. He has never said a word to me personally. Does it hurt? Hell yeah... but I use his silence as my motivation. I did this on my own and I feel pretty damn proud about that.

Sounds like my husband too. He'll often order everything on the menu from Dominos just before I get home from work and then complain if I say I don't want anything (or gloat if I give in!). He was asleep through my first 10k and didn't even ask how it went, and says really useful things like "you're only doing this so you can show off to all the Italian men in a bikini when we go on holiday". Yawn. I just ignore him. I think part of it is that he has become a real couch potato (after years in the forces where being fit was part of the job!) and he wants me to potato with him... no thanks! I too am proud of myself and I'm a happier person for it

My missus is very supportive thankfully. And she's a member on here :P

I'll never be skinny, at best I'll be stocky but I guess that's what she likes and she's helping me get there...slowly

These threads always make me sad for people. I could wake up tomorrow and decide I wanted to join the circus or something equally as bizarre and my guy would be all for it and be my biggest cheerleader. I wouldn't have it any other way, otherwise he wouldn't be my guy. We all need support from our partners. We should want to see them succedd and be happy in whatever they want to achieve, even if it's just weightloss or getting back in shape. And we should also expect that same support back from our partner.

I'm going to say the unpopular thing…. YOU DON'T NEED SUPPORT! This has got to be a choice that you make for you and you alone. If your partner is supportive… great. That's wonderful! But if he/she is not… then okay. You still keep going because this is your thing.

Personally, I'm single and childless. Both my parents are dead. Most of my friends are already a healthy weight. So, I go at this alone. I have sisters who all hate the gym and have different opinions about this whole thing. They all think it's great that I'm losing weight, but they vary from totally supportive to questioning and doubtful to vaguely condescending in regards to the the lifestyle. My co-workers are total yo-yo fad dieters who are convinced they are doing it the healthy way and think I'm stupid and uninformed.

I still keep going.

I believe that if your partner truly cares about you, he/she should be very supportive about your efforts to get healthier. But whether he/she is or not does not need to have any bearing on your progress.

Well my wife is very supportive of my decision to lose weight.

She knows I will be going out to run, or the gym, and helps it fit our lives.
If/when she cooks a meal - she weighs everything out for me so I know what I am eating.

MFB is an absolute gem. We met and fell head over heels and as we slowly got to know each other he realised that i had insecurities with my weight and was shocked. He said he has never seen me as a larger girl and loved me always. Now that he knows how i feel and what i want to do about it, he is more than supportive and he only wants me to be happy. He encourages more walks and excersizes and tries his best not to want pizza all the time. LOL he has even started working out himself. This morning i woke up to a freshly prepared smoothie. I love that he supports me and loves me either way... I can only say that I wish you could experience that. Everyone deserves someone to love and support them at their heaviest and lightest.