Looks do matter

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Replies

  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    And looks matter enough that I sent a FR to a hottie in this thread. :drinker:

    Did they accept?

    Yes he did! And I don't think he thinks of himself as a hottie so BONUS! :drinker:
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I only bang 10/10 hotties.

    [how you doin.gif]

    100/10 will so bang
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I only bang 10/10 hotties.

    I've seen your husband.

    I agree

    Oh, I don't bang him.
  • HerkMeOff
    HerkMeOff Posts: 1,002 Member
    I only bang 10/10 hotties.

    I've seen your husband.

    I agree

    Oh, I don't bang him.

    Poor guy.
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  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    of course looks matter

    someones appearance is what initially attracts me to them

    if im not physically attracted to them I am not going to be sexually attracted to them & they could only ever be someone I would be friends with

    also what I find attractive is not necessarily what the majority considers attractive . Attraction is pretty subjective

    :drinker:
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    Man lands on the moon.

    - "good looks" are simply a visual cue for health and beneficial genetic material
    - social animals instinctively treat healthier, sturdier individuals better because they benefit the group more
    - humans are social animals

    => To a certain degree, humans will treat better looking individuals better (in the sexual area among others).
    It's a fact, but it's not healthy to dwell too much on it. Do the best you can with what you've got.
  • thingofstuff
    thingofstuff Posts: 93 Member
    I've taken my share of Social Psyc and Evolutionary Psyc classes, the general take home message is defs that people are initially attracted to physical appearance and men are MUCH more choosy about looks of their partner than women, but men tend to place most importance on facial features than on bodies (which are subject to a hulk of a lot of change when child rearing is concerned). Physical attraction is not enough to sustain a loving and emotionally satisfying relationship. Common interests, doing activities and favourite hobbies together, and never ending the chase for each others' ultimate happiness makes for life partnerships that last.

    I think people are pretty aware of the proverbial '10 scale' of attractiveness and are actually very reasonable when it comes to selecting mates that match their perceived rating. It can lead to a lot of turmoil in a relationship when partners are closer to opposite ends of the spectrum, what with the trust issues, body dissatisfaction, lack of confidence, or self-consciousness that can ensue when one partner receives praise (getting hit on, compliments from friends/fam, getting checked out) and the other does not and feels unworthy. It is actually a theory for why many men/women end up in abusive relationships, because there is a dissonance in desirability of partners (it can be due to differences in career status or education as well interestingly enough). Of course some people are impervious to this due to their ridiculously strong love for one another but that is pretty uncommon.

    tl:dr -> appearances matter, only for so long, be interesting, be reasonable with yourself and focus on the intangible aspects of relationships and attraction.
  • macattack5946
    macattack5946 Posts: 4 Member
    Ok, my two cents, do looks matter? I think it's more chemistry, I've been married 36 years and I have to say that, and this goes for both of us, neither of us is much to look at, but there was just that something. Hard to explain, and it's still here, we still laugh and cry about the same things, so i truly think it is so much more than looks. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. And in some ways the internet makes it easier and someways it makes it harder. I just say keep looking and be positive about it, that way you will shine!
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    of course looks matter

    someones appearance is what initially attracts me to them

    if im not physically attracted to them I am not going to be sexually attracted to them & they could only ever be someone I would be friends with

    also what I find attractive is not necessarily what the majority considers attractive . Attraction is pretty subjective

    Amen
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Looks can matter to a degree of course. Physical attraction is a huge part of it.

    However, getting to know you as a person I think is equally as important. An incompatible personality is just asking for trouble if a serious relationship is pursued.

    So in the end I think it comes down to both.

    I agree.

    Also, I think SOME people really sell themselves short because they don't fit a particular profile. There are people out there who are attracted to many very different types...body type and size, style, etc. Someone you might think is really ugly, could be beautiful to someone else.
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
    I think, to a degree, looks matter to men more that they do to women. That said, we all appreciate lovely looking people. I personally have to know someone before I can know if I am attracted to them. Personality is definitely first for me. I have met some incredibly handsome men who, after getting to know them, started to look as "ugly" as their personalities and conversely, some men who weren't much to look at became very attractive to me once I knew them because they were fun to be with, confident(which I find very attractive), had great senses of humor(another very sexy trait) etc. It is a very subjective and highly personal thing this attraction business. I figure we all have a shot if we are truly ourselves.
  • rocklion
    rocklion Posts: 69 Member
    And looks matter enough that I sent a FR to a hottie in this thread. :drinker:

    Did they accept?

    Yes he did! And I don't think he thinks of himself as a hottie so BONUS! :drinker:

    Good for you. Wish there was a like button.
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
    Sadly, yes, it does impact a lot.

    I've been single my entire life. A date here and there, but never had a relationship.

    I KNOW it's how I look, because I know I'm a good person (I often have friends say I'm a nice and genuine person).

    You have a very pretty face. Get thee to a GOOD hair stylist, get some blonde highlights and a sexy hair style, get a hotter pair of glasses and ... well ... no pics of your body, so I don't know how to dress you. You have a great base. Work it better.

    Now forgive me if I'm wrong but the "I'm a nice person why does everyone dump me" thing is usually a euphemism for "I'm really clingy." Just make sure you're not.

    I'm saying this because you sound sad, and I would love for your dreams to come true for you. =)

    You're definitely wrong about the 'why does everyone dump me'. I'm actually the one who runs away from dating more than 3-4 dates, but they are for good reasons. One guy was negative about everything in his life (I suspect he might've been depressed at the time, but I have thought of this in hindsight and not at the time), and the other just wanted to get me into bed (not something I was interested in at the time).
  • rocklion
    rocklion Posts: 69 Member
    Yes and everyone does have their preferences. And it can get kind of weird. No doubt.

    I remember when I was in the Army. There was this medic who was a tall skinny dude. I honestly at that time was like well okay he's kind of good looking I guess. Me and my buddy went to this bar and they were having a competition on hottest guy or something like that. My buddy entered. I was like well okay. he kept winning round after round. Just a skinny dude.

    The final round was between him and this other guy who was ripped. I mean ripped. Dude had six pack abs and muscles like no one's business.

    My skinny friend won. I was left with my mouth open and thinking to myself wtf
  • jlgemma
    jlgemma Posts: 23 Member
    Sadly, yes, it does impact a lot.

    I've been single my entire life. A date here and there, but never had a relationship.

    I KNOW it's how I look, because I know I'm a good person (I often have friends say I'm a nice and genuine person).

    You have a very pretty face. Get thee to a GOOD hair stylist, get some blonde highlights and a sexy hair style, get a hotter pair of glasses and ... well ... no pics of your body, so I don't know how to dress you. You have a great base. Work it better.

    Now forgive me if I'm wrong but the "I'm a nice person why does everyone dump me" thing is usually a euphemism for "I'm really clingy." Just make sure you're not.

    I'm saying this because you sound sad, and I would love for your dreams to come true for you. =)

    I completely agree, you do have a great base. I think a mini makeover with some makeup to bring out your features would be a great start. Get yourself regular manicures and pedicures (or do your own) and some clothes that accentuate your shape. It will do wonders for your self-confidence. When you appear confident and like you take good care of yourself men will naturally be attracted to you.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    Sadly, yes, it does impact a lot.

    I've been single my entire life. A date here and there, but never had a relationship.

    I KNOW it's how I look, because I know I'm a good person (I often have friends say I'm a nice and genuine person).

    You have a very pretty face. Get thee to a GOOD hair stylist, get some blonde highlights and a sexy hair style, get a hotter pair of glasses and ... well ... no pics of your body, so I don't know how to dress you. You have a great base. Work it better.

    Now forgive me if I'm wrong but the "I'm a nice person why does everyone dump me" thing is usually a euphemism for "I'm really clingy." Just make sure you're not.

    I'm saying this because you sound sad, and I would love for your dreams to come true for you. =)

    You're definitely wrong about the 'why does everyone dump me'. I'm actually the one who runs away from dating more than 3-4 dates, but they are for good reasons. One guy was negative about everything in his life (I suspect he might've been depressed at the time, but I have thought of this in hindsight and not at the time), and the other just wanted to get me into bed (not something I was interested in at the time).

    So it wasn't about looks then. Not sure why you said it was *shrug*

    Looks like we just wasted each other's time. lol Have a good night =)
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    As others have said, looks do matter but our tastes are different. My friends have always thought I have strange taste (they would say I go for tall goofy looking men). Looks get my attention but personality keeps me interested.
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    Looks will always be the thing that initially influences your decision about whether or not to get to know someone better. Whatever that means to you. But chances are if you don't like the way someone looks you're not going to take the time to find out if you're compatible in other areas.

    This ^
    Living in a superficial, shallow world were we are surrounded by depictions of 'what a perfect body is' of course the exterior is important.

    It's being able to distinguish a good looking individual from one that possesses other contributing factors that do not rely on the exterior that bears more relevance in my opinion.

    I see hot men everyday but I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to them unless they had a decent personality.
  • CMB1979
    CMB1979 Posts: 588 Member
    Your look is the lasso. Your wrangling skill is what keeps the stallion on the rope. :P
  • tierra85
    tierra85 Posts: 300 Member
    To an extent they do. I personally couldn't be with someone i didn't feel attracted to, but attraction comes in many forms to different people. I dated this one guy a few years back. Absolutely gorgeous.. Face, hair, body, everything. Problem i had was that i couldn't have an intelligent conversation with him. Needless to say, interest was lost pretty quick. One of my favorite actors is Tyler Labine and he is definitely not the smallest guy around. But he makes me laugh and i think he is soooo handsome :love:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Your look is the lasso. Your wrangling skill is what keeps the stallion on the rope. :P

    No that's the size of one of two things. One of them is your wallet and the other is your....
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    lollipop
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    Everyone has their preferences that is all. Since losing weight I do notice more males looking but I'm sure there is more to it then that. I dress better now which could also be it as well. Or maybe I'm just looking for it. Who knows..
  • andreavarangu
    andreavarangu Posts: 78 Member
    Well yes....looks matter....but fortunately we all have somewhat different taste when it comes to attraction. AND....here's the cool part....once you get to know someone and you really like them, they become much more attractive to you!
  • amwbox
    amwbox Posts: 576 Member
    Sadly, yes, it does impact a lot.

    I've been single my entire life. A date here and there, but never had a relationship.

    I KNOW it's how I look, because I know I'm a good person (I often have friends say I'm a nice and genuine person).

    You have a very pretty face. Get thee to a GOOD hair stylist, get some blonde highlights and a sexy hair style, get a hotter pair of glasses and ... well ... no pics of your body, so I don't know how to dress you. You have a great base. Work it better.


    Disagree. I'm sure the glasses have something to do with it, but I think she's got the hot librarian thing going on, and all that artificial meddling your talking about would only spoil it. She looks genuine as is. Artificiality would only detract.

    But that's just me. I'm male and hairy and unexfoliated. What do I know? :D
  • HWeatherholt
    HWeatherholt Posts: 283 Member
    For me looks matter, I have to find the person attractive if I am going to get to know them romanticly. but what I find attractive look wise in one person I don't in another. I've dated plenty of guys that my friends didn't see what I saw/didn't think they were attractive and plenty that they wondering how I scored such a good looking guy, and everywhere in between.
  • amwbox
    amwbox Posts: 576 Member
    And yes, I think looks matter a whole lot. People will say that personality wins out in the long run...but lets not forget that the long run can't even get started without that initial physical attraction. Falling for someone you're less than attracted to because of their personality and soul takes some time and effort. Falling into bed with someone who gives you stomach butterflies from animal attraction is EASY.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    I think looks matter for that initial "spark" but after a time, not really. I think a great personality can make an average looking person more attractive.
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    I think looks matter for that initial "spark" but after a time, not really. I think a great personality can make an average looking person more attractive.

    YES! This

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