How would you feel?

I agree, this guy doesn't seem like he's very caring. We constantly nip pick our body everyday, you don't need someone else pointing out what isn't perfect.

Well, I am a little torn on this one. I want to say he is just being dumb and not filtering very well, we all know guys think about these things. He did try to backtrack and make you feel better....? You need to sit down and have a talk with him about how these types of comments make you feel. If he does not get it or continues after that then os be it. You are better off in a relationship where you feel loved/wanted and secure. Wether he is not providing that on purpose or on accident doesn't really change the fact that he is not the one for you.

I'm oddly sensitive at times, and that would have stung. I couldn't be with someone that said something like "you're not the worst I've seen."

I'd rather be single than have someone make me feel like ****. Ever.

It would be fine if you'd asked him, although he could have been smarter with his wording (well honey, until I met you, I never knew how cute and sexy short legs are!). But since this is unsolicited commentary, I really have to wonder at his motivation. Also, is that a little love handle he's got going on there in the profile pic?

Don't date immature jerks and they won't say things that immature jerks say.

I'd be pleasantly surprised if you took this lesson to heart and did something about it. But odds are you won't. You'll stay with him and let your self-confidence drop to ****. You'll be shocked to find out he's cheating at some point. You'll wonder what could possibly have gone wrong and worse yet blame yourself even more.

You're at the perfect age to start growing up. Stop dating boys. Start valuing yourself more than this.

This. Besides, if he's the guy with you in your pics, he's no prize. Tell him to hit the gym.

tl;dr:

If he is an intellectual type; he probably just said the wrong things.

If he isn't an intellectual type, he may be trying to manipulate you to change into something you are not\do not want to be.

Either way you may want to evaluate your relationship and determine if he is an honest person who says dumb things or if he is a dishonest person, looking to manipulate and control you.


Playing devil's advocate:

OK, so I cant get this feeling to leave me no matter how much I push it away. Ill tell you the scenario and you can tell me how you would feel after.

Boyfriend lets me in on the top body parts he finds attractive in women... (randomly like many of his comments..I never asked to hear this)
Legs, Boobs and butt. Ok great how typical I m sure most men would agree, but after he mentions these he goes into detail basically letting me know all of these things I do not have and will never have. Im 5 ft so legs aren't exactly lengthy, my boobs he assures me that they aren't the worst he's seen but adds nothing to that and then goes on to tell me that I need to buy jeans that fit my butt better....

If your BF is an intellectual type, he probably noticed these things, then as an observer of something made a comment on them. While it ended up upsetting you, he may not have said these things to intentionally upset you.

(im in between sizes and not done with my weight loss journey, so therefore im not willing to spend money on to replace my whole closet, I have bought a few items that fit perfectly)

He has no idea this is the case nor does it matter.

By this point he can tell im hurting inside so he quickly says but don't worry these all come after the face of course and you have that going for you. WOO HOO I'm a but her body...

He probably realized (too late) that what he said upset you, so he *tried* to throw in a compliment.

I don't know how to feel after losing 20 lbs I still feel like there is nothing I can do, I will never be good enough or sexy enough. "Im not his type, but I have a great personality/face" "I never thought Id date a redhead"

If you didn't bring anything to the table (personality\sexiness\intellectual) he probably wouldn't be with you right now.

These comments that have come out of his mouth only hurt and slowly diminish any confidence I carry. I have told him this before, he makes me feel unwanted, unappealing.

Smart are guys can be pretty dumb when it comes to communicating feelings.

I have a feeling of hurt and anger, but I also have a feeling of WELL f** you. Im not perfect, I have yet to meet someone who is. I also take this as a challenge I can do better, I will do better. My legs aren't long but they can still look nice with working out ... How would you respond for feel? Is it wrong for me to want to be with a man that cant keep his hands off me, instead of constantly pointing out my flaws or pointing out other girls perks to me.

He may not be pointing out 'flaws' from his perspective, the 'flaws' may be your perspective.

Intellectual types operate in a world of determining (in some way) what is true and what is false. Communicating something we don't fully understand is damn near impossible. Feelings and emotions are probably at the top of the list of things we don't understand.

Is it wrong for me to want to be with a man that cant keep his hands off me, instead of constantly pointing out my flaws or pointing out other girls perks to me.

Nope -- in my opinion, it's RIGHT to insist on those things.

In the past I was married to a man who thought I was just great - but he was actually most attracted to a totally different type of woman...no makeup, short and fairly skinny, who likes to hang out at the lake, drink beer, and chain-smoke. He often kinda fawned over this type of woman, even more so if she was a heavily tattooed waitress in a restaurant who was clearly down on her luck, with a sob story, etc.. So, the TOTAL opposite of me in every way. I always knew that I wasn't really his type, and kind of felt like we were settling for e/o physically because we were both very obese.

My current husband has a *thing* for nerdy, independent chicks with curves/hips, the taller the better, loves dark hair and fair skin, and so on. I am almost stereotypically "his type" and I feel every single day how attracted he is to me. It's the exact same thing from my end, he is a redhead (my thing) and gorgeously my type.

In my opinion...YOU DESERVE THAT (mutual attraction to the extreme)!!! I waited until I was 35 to have that and I wish I hadn't settled in the past.

I don't really understand the criticism your boyfriend is giving to you. I do think it can be a slippery slope toward abusive and control but I also think it sounds more likely that he's just not so bright ;-/ Maybe he feels like you are a confident woman who can "handle it"...he needs a serious reality check.

Obviously I don't know all of the ins and outs of your entire relationship based on 1 forum post. But I would probably consider this a pretty serious issue.

If you had asked him to name a celebrity that he finds attractive, he'd probably say Kate Upton. If you asked a dozen 13 year olds, they'd say Kate Upton, too. That doesn't mean you should try to look like Kate Upton. It just means that they're all programmed the same. Most men don't know what they want but when we find it, we will do whatever we can to woo and keep that woman happy.

I don't know your man well enough to know if he's an abusive jerk or not. It sounds like it would mean a lot to you if he would just come out and say that he finds you beautiful. He's kind of a dunderhead for not knowing/saying that.

(Heck, I never thought I'd be with a redhead either. And look! I was right!)

I think the only opinion that matters is your own. Screw what he thinks and what the world thinks.

Sounds like a real charmer! You sure don't need a man like that in your life, give him the big heave ho!!

men lack filters..Plain and simple..

I agree with the "he thinks your confident" line of thought..because my husband feels this way about me. for years Id let his unfiltered comments slide..but I dont know.

In fact, he said something afew weeks ago that hurt me deeply..Ive tried to forget about it..but it damn hurt. I dont care how strong a woman is..certain things said still hurt like hell.