When She Calls and Asks You Out.

124

Replies

  • midas1022
    midas1022 Posts: 151
    If she is Hispanic I would definitely pay the tab. It is part of the culture and from what you have said it seems like she likes you and wants to move forward with your relationship.
  • bcoop911
    bcoop911 Posts: 1,390 Member
    This is one of the reasons I normally dislike women. If you want equal rights, pay for your own *kitten*. The man is not your moneybags, unless that's the prearranged agreement (which probably means you should be in the kitchen making a sammich while being barefoot).

    But in DATING, if a woman asks a man out, she should pay. If he offers, she should offer to split it. If he insists, fine, let him pay, thank him, and move on. Even if a man asks me out, I still offer to split.

    Why? Because a man isn't an object that equals money.

    agreed^ Basically what I said... ha
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,839 Member
    Arguably, whoever did the invitation should pay. Arguably, since women's salaries are unfairly lower, men should pay. Arguably, everything should always be split evenly. Arguably, an independent woman should never let a man pay.

    You can argue anything, but what's important is only what works for the two of you. You get to decide what you want, she gets to decide what she wants and you each, independently, get to decide what you think about what the other one wants. Communicate with each other.
  • asdowe13
    asdowe13 Posts: 1,951 Member
    "Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but....."

    Exactly... they come out of the woodworks in here. Look at the last thread this guy started, he was bragging about all of his expensive stuff and being a completely arrogant *kitten*, and some of the GDs were like "is their a Mrs Tolerable <3" lol... but really should have replaced the heart with <$$

    Yeah i saw that, and she was all over him there as well!
  • ImSoOTired
    ImSoOTired Posts: 186 Member
    Uhh... hmm? I'm not 100% sure how this all works because my husband and I have always shared expenses even since we first began dating, as teenagers. He would pay, then I would pay, or we'd split it, he drove, I bought gas for the car sometimes, and he smoked my cigarettes. We never kept tabs. Just whoever went to pay, paid. It's never been an issue we had deal with and I think you're way over thinking it. Sure, a 'gentleman' should pay, or should offer to, but if he's dating a 'lady' she would do the same.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Uhh... hmm? I'm not 100% sure how this all works because my husband and I have always shared expenses even since we first began dating, as teenagers. He would pay, then I would pay, or we'd split it, he drove, I bought gas for the car sometimes, and he smoked my cigarettes. We never kept tabs. Just whoever went to pay, paid. It's never been an issue we had deal with and I think you're way over thinking it. Sure, a 'gentleman' should pay, or should offer to, but if he's dating a 'lady' she would do the same.

    I mean it is just like this with my best friends that are girls and guys... but I am not dating them... of course the person your in a relationship with should be your best friend. - as for keeping tabs I would certainly not keep a tab - I do strive to be a gentleman, at the very least I strive to appear like a gentleman until I finally become a gentleman.
    I read everything, but your last question and line was "What's the classy approach?" You already know what that is, it's paying. Sorry to all the women-libbers out there, but there's something to be said about a man in control, in charge, and taking care of you. in a gentlemanly manner. If you hadn't stuck that last question in there, I would probably have answered a bit differently.
    ^I am all about being the guy in control taking charge - however as I said many of my friends particularly the females think it is really weird I pay for everything, and I have been on first dates where after I paid it suddenly got really weird like I was coming on to strong or something for simply paying the tab.



    I'm going to pay for this movie but when we are on vacation and out for a meal I am going to pay for the meal and ask if she can hook up the waiter with a nice tip - I think I will see what her reaction is to that. midas1022 is right, at least for all the Hispanic women I've dated- even the Brazilian, there was no way she was opening her own door or paying for the tab, I actually thought that was really refreshing tho - down to earth. - and at the same time she did me the service of being very upfront about how she was feeling or what she wanted to do.

    ^and before anyone throws an accusation that she was after $$$ - whenever she suggested an activity it was something outdoors very inexpensive or free - walking valley forge state park - hiking - picnic etc.
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    I gotta ask...would skidmarks show up on those pants if you went commando?
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    Admit it...your really asking if you should make HIM pay arent you?
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    If I plan an actitivy, I pay. If that's not the case, I would never plan any actitivies, cause it would be rude as hell to invite someone on something then have them pay.
  • temptingbiter
    temptingbiter Posts: 21 Member
    I mean, just because she asked you out, doesn't mean she should pay.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    CharlieRapist_zpscbc574e0.gif

    ^lmao - watched this with my brother last night. good share! :laugh:

    I do just want to say... for all these "It's always sunny Gif's" - some of you guys are just plan 'ol off - if there is anyone on It's Always Sunny I relate to - It would be Dennis.

    :mumbles 'duh' under his breath:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    CharlieRapist_zpscbc574e0.gif

    ^lmao - watched this with my brother last night. good share! :laugh:

    I do just want to say... for all these "It's always sunny Gif's" - some of you guys are just plan 'ol off - if there is anyone on It's Always Sunny I relate to - It would be Dennis.

    :mumbles 'duh' under his breath:

    lol, that is actually pretty on point!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Just tossing a grenade... equal rights... share the responsibility of paying... this is purely my opinion for 100% equal rights. Don't complain about lesser wages if you expect the man to pay for everything haha... I think we should be equal... equal pay... equal responsibility... including household responsibilities and covering tabs. Just saying, definitely a double standard.

    Fine with me.

    But I'd rather we casually switch off who pays rather than "going dutch". Going dutch is inconvenient and awkward. And calculating who has paid exactly what isn't very romantic. He should pay for a few meals. She should pay for a few meals. Don't sweat the details.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    I live in NJ.
  • bcoop911
    bcoop911 Posts: 1,390 Member
    Just tossing a grenade... equal rights... share the responsibility of paying... this is purely my opinion for 100% equal rights. Don't complain about lesser wages if you expect the man to pay for everything haha... I think we should be equal... equal pay... equal responsibility... including household responsibilities and covering tabs. Just saying, definitely a double standard.

    Fine with me.

    But I'd rather we casually switch off who pays rather than "going dutch". Going dutch is inconvenient and awkward. And calculating who has paid exactly what isn't very romantic. He should pay for a few meals. She should pay for a few meals. Don't sweat the details.

    Yea, I never said going dutch... what you described is how I would normally do it. I don't think I have EVER gone dutch before, honestly... and in the past I have paid more often then not, but the best ones have always offered or even snatched my wallet out of my hand so I couldn't pay.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Creating a new user account to circumvent a ban is a violation of the community guidelines and terms of service.
    i know this rule well.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Just tossing a grenade... equal rights... share the responsibility of paying... this is purely my opinion for 100% equal rights. Don't complain about lesser wages if you expect the man to pay for everything haha... I think we should be equal... equal pay... equal responsibility... including household responsibilities and covering tabs. Just saying, definitely a double standard.

    Fine with me.

    But I'd rather we casually switch off who pays rather than "going dutch". Going dutch is inconvenient and awkward. And calculating who has paid exactly what isn't very romantic. He should pay for a few meals. She should pay for a few meals. Don't sweat the details.

    Yea, I never said going dutch... what you described is how I would normally do it. I don't think I have EVER gone dutch before, honestly... and in the past I have paid more often then not, but the best ones have always offered or even snatched my wallet out of my hand so I couldn't pay.

    sigh... that does sound like a proper lady..
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    I've never paid, even when I did the asking.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I am so glad I've been out of the dating game for so long. If I were single, I wouldn't be asking a guy out because I am too shy. I also wouldn't pay if he asked me out and we were only casually dating. However, if we were in a long-term relationship, I would have no problem going dutch or paying half of the time. Of course, my husband came home with me three weeks after we started dating and we've been together for 24 years since then, so we started splitting the bills early on in our relationship.

    Is this an age thing (I'm 47) or is that how dating is done nowadays, splitting the bill or paying half the time?
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    I've never paid, even when I did the asking.
    Looking at that pic, I know why babe :wink:
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    I am so glad I've been out of the dating game for so long. If I were single, I wouldn't be asking a guy out because I am too shy. I also wouldn't pay if he asked me out and we were only casually dating. However, if we were in a long-term relationship, I would have no problem going dutch or paying half of the time. Of course, my husband came home with me three weeks after we started dating and we've been together for 24 years since then, so we started splitting the bills early on in our relationship.

    Is this an age thing (I'm 47) or is that how dating is done nowadays, splitting the bill or paying half the time?

    ^Literally all my friends split the bill... like basically everyone... I just can't do it - In fact when I'm even with my friends I tend to pic up tabs much much more than anyone like for girls I'm strictly platonic friends with even... but when they are with their BF's they split the tab - they usually just tease me about it and throw a pec on the the cheek ;)
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Just tossing a grenade... equal rights... share the responsibility of paying... this is purely my opinion for 100% equal rights. Don't complain about lesser wages if you expect the man to pay for everything haha... I think we should be equal... equal pay... equal responsibility... including household responsibilities and covering tabs. Just saying, definitely a double standard.

    Fine with me.

    But I'd rather we casually switch off who pays rather than "going dutch". Going dutch is inconvenient and awkward. And calculating who has paid exactly what isn't very romantic. He should pay for a few meals. She should pay for a few meals. Don't sweat the details.

    Yea, I never said going dutch... what you described is how I would normally do it. I don't think I have EVER gone dutch before, honestly... and in the past I have paid more often then not, but the best ones have always offered or even snatched my wallet out of my hand so I couldn't pay.

    "Fighting" over who pays is weird and awkward too. Don't be weird people! After a few dates the woman should start offering and the man should accept graciously.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Just tossing a grenade... equal rights... share the responsibility of paying... this is purely my opinion for 100% equal rights. Don't complain about lesser wages if you expect the man to pay for everything haha... I think we should be equal... equal pay... equal responsibility... including household responsibilities and covering tabs. Just saying, definitely a double standard.

    Fine with me.

    But I'd rather we casually switch off who pays rather than "going dutch". Going dutch is inconvenient and awkward. And calculating who has paid exactly what isn't very romantic. He should pay for a few meals. She should pay for a few meals. Don't sweat the details.

    Yea, I never said going dutch... what you described is how I would normally do it. I don't think I have EVER gone dutch before, honestly... and in the past I have paid more often then not, but the best ones have always offered or even snatched my wallet out of my hand so I couldn't pay.

    "Fighting" over who pays is weird and awkward too. Don't be weird people! After a few dates the woman should start offering and the man should accept graciously.
    ^yeah with clients the rule is two prompts - that is what we are taught. We just take the bill and drop the card...company card anyway.. if they press, we press back, if they press back we concede.
  • asdowe13
    asdowe13 Posts: 1,951 Member
    When my now Wife first asked me out, she picked me up, brought me flowers, and paid for dinner and desert.

    It was awesome.

    Now it all comes from the same account so it doesn't matter
  • ImSoOTired
    ImSoOTired Posts: 186 Member
    When my now Wife first asked me out, she picked me up, brought me flowers, and paid for dinner and desert.

    It was awesome.

    Now it all comes from the same account so it doesn't matter

    And she gave you that beautiful baby? What a lucky man you are!
    I'm being serious, BTW, no snark intended.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    edit
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    I've never paid, even when I did the asking.
    Looking at that pic, I know why babe :wink:
    SH
  • AmandaLY17
    AmandaLY17 Posts: 184 Member
    ^yeah with clients the rule is two prompts - that is what we are taught. We just take the bill and drop the card...company card anyway.. if they press, we press back, if they press back we concede.

    Thats a personal 'rule' of mine. If I offer to do something (pay a bill, clear a table, pick up you laundry...w.h.y.) I'll offer once, ensure they mean it then leave it alone.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    When my now Wife first asked me out, she picked me up, brought me flowers, and paid for dinner and desert.

    It was awesome.

    Now it all comes from the same account so it doesn't matter

    Us too. My daughter wanted to know why I was buying my husband shorts when it wasn't even his birthday. I had to explain that we share money and daddy isn't allowed to dress himself.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    When my now Wife first asked me out, she picked me up, brought me flowers, and paid for dinner and desert.

    It was awesome.

    Now it all comes from the same account so it doesn't matter

    Us too. My daughter wanted to know why I was buying my husband shorts when it wasn't even his birthday. I had to explain that we share money and daddy isn't allowed to dress himself.

    :laugh:


    "isn't allowed to dress himself"

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