Sexual Assult Prevention Week
So, we have been in training and discussions this week about sexual assult prevention in the Military and in the civilian world. Really great training. My question for you is this.... what can YOU do to help prevent sexual assults from happening?
The statistics of people reporting an attack is unreal. So many never say anything. Very sad. One fact that was brought to light is the fact that once an assult is reported, it takes roughly 1 1/2 yrs just to complete an investigation. No wonder people don't report it. Who wants to carry that around with them for so long?
The statistics of people reporting an attack is unreal. So many never say anything. Very sad. One fact that was brought to light is the fact that once an assult is reported, it takes roughly 1 1/2 yrs just to complete an investigation. No wonder people don't report it. Who wants to carry that around with them for so long?
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What can *I* do? I teach women how to kick men's arses when they ask me to.0
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What can *I* do? I teach women how to kick men's arses when they ask me to.
I think self defense classes are a great start!0 -
I can choose not to rape or sexually assault people. That tends to help. You can also help by kicking the everliving **** out of people that do.
*edit for clarity0 -
A lot of it will be out of your hands. Much of what is done is unfortunately after the fact. The biggest thing I think you could do is try to have better situational awareness. If you are out somewhere and see someone that seems to be in a vulnerable situation (intoxicated, being hounded by someone who is being too aggressive, etc) ask if they need some assistance.0
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I can not laugh at rape jokes and loudly express my discomfort with overly sexual/aggressive behavior, rather than write if off as "boys will be boys". ETA: Yes, I realize that men are also victims, I haven't actually encountered a female aggressor. If I did, I would speak just against it just as loudly.
Also, not to fall down the rabbit hole, I am all for situational awareness and self defense -- but that's not preventing the attack from occurring, just fighting it off. The circumstances that would prevent attacks entirely are cultural/psychological in nature.0 -
A lot of it will be out of your hands. Much of what is done is unfortunately after the fact. The biggest thing I think you could do is try to have better situational awareness. If you are out somewhere and see someone that seems to be in a vulnerable situation (intoxicated, being hounded by someone who is being too aggressive, etc) ask if they need some assistance.
This is actually one thing that was discussed a lot. Being aware of your surroundings. having a wingman to look out for you, etc. One point I want to make however, is that it is NOT the fault of the victim no matter the situation.0 -
Back in the late 80's, a gal at my work asked me to walk her to her car. She knew I taught Martial Arts in the evenings. Her ex-husband had been threatening her. I walked her to her car and her ex came out of nowhere with a gun. I took the gun away from him and administered my own beating.
That girl was part of a Woman's Club and asked me if I would come to her club and teach self-defense. I did. Later, several of those women joined my school. 3 of them went on to achieve their Black Belts.0 -
I think part of it is culture and teaching people respect and that things like being alone with someone, drinking too much, or how you dress doesn't make it okay. Most people I think know these things but you'd be surprised how often a victim is blamed because of how they dress or some other factor. If you look at countries like India where sexual assaults happen in broad daylight and no one steps in you see how culture can play a role in allowing this to happen or allowing people to think these behaviors are okay. It's more subtle in the US but culture does have an effect.
Disclaimer: Not knocking India. I know not everyone there is bad. Just using that country as an example.0 -
Back in the late 80's, a gal at my work asked me to walk her to her car. She knew I taught Martial Arts in the evenings. Her ex-husband had been threatening her. I walked her to her car and her ex came out of nowhere with a gun. I took the gun away from him and administered my own beating.
That girl was part of a Woman's Club and asked me if I would come to her club and teach self-defense. I did. Later, several of those women joined my school. 3 of them went on to achieve their Black Belts.
You are a true hero!0 -
I can avoid raping people and stopping when my SO asks me to.
I can speak up when I feel that someone is blaming the victim.
I can ask my female friends to be safe and aware when out alone or meeting new guys.0 -
I can avoid raping people and stopping when my SO asks me to.
I can speak up when I feel that someone is blaming the victim.
I can ask my female friends to be safe and aware when out alone or meeting new guys.
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The very first step is to teach your daughter's that they are strong, empowered women who can speak up about right and wrong... Self defense classes are great for any person especially women, of any age. It is amazing the confidence it can bring.
Sadly I believe one of the reasons the reporting rates are so low? Several factors that start with embarrassment, the feeling that they have done something wrong, that they wore the wrong clothes, drank too much or said the wrong things. As much as we know all these factors dont count, we know the scumbag defense attorney is going to try to use all these things against a woman who has been abused. If you have never sat through a trail watching that happen, you are lucky because I promise you it will make you sick to your stomach.
Another thing I think is huge is people who are not involved should act. You KNOW when something is not right. The hair on your neck stands up or you get that uneasy feeling in your gut. As humans we need to step in and help people make better decisions or at least try to.0 -
Also, not to fall down the rabbit hole, I am all for situational awareness and self defense -- but that's not preventing the attack from occurring, just fighting it off. The circumstances that would prevent attacks entirely are cultural/psychological in nature.
I just had the awareness thing in my mind because I happened to see this on Facebook just the other day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QcLs98NeJY I agree a cultural change would be great, but you can only do your part. 0 -
Back in the late 80's, a gal at my work asked me to walk her to her car. She knew I taught Martial Arts in the evenings. Her ex-husband had been threatening her. I walked her to her car and her ex came out of nowhere with a gun. I took the gun away from him and administered my own beating.
That girl was part of a Woman's Club and asked me if I would come to her club and teach self-defense. I did. Later, several of those women joined my school. 3 of them went on to achieve their Black Belts.
TheRoadDog is Awesome
Semper Fidelis Road Dog!0 -
Don't forget male rape. Too many of those cases don't even get reported due to the stigma around men not wanting to be a victim. I personally was raped multiple times and never reported it. Years have passed, and I regret it. It's messed me up pretty bad. I can only say, men should learn to be more open with those around them, and should know that they are counted as well.0
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I think part of it is culture and teaching people respect and that things like being alone with someone, drinking too much, or how you dress doesn't make it okay. Most people I think know these things but you'd be surprised how often a victim is blamed because of how they dress or some other factor. If you look at countries like India where sexual assaults happen in broad daylight and no one steps in you see how culture can play a role in allowing this to happen or allowing people to think these behaviors are okay. It's more subtle in the US but culture does have an effect.
Disclaimer: Not knocking India. I know not everyone there is bad. Just using that country as an example.
I agree that way to often, the victim is somehow made out to be responsible for the attack. This makes me so angry. Even if the person has a troubled past, or dresses provocatively or has a few drinks, that does NOT mean they encouraged an attack to happen.0 -
Don't forget male rape. Too many of those cases don't even get reported due to the stigma around men not wanting to be a victim. I personally was raped multiple times and never reported it. Years have passed, and I regret it. It's messed me up pretty bad. I can only say, men should learn to be more open with those around them, and should know that they are counted as well.
You are absolutely right. One of the numbers that they brought up was that 1 in every 33 men is a victim of sexual assult. I am so sorry that you are one of those and I hope that you can find the help you need to live a happy life. God bless you!0 -
Another thing is setting an example for my fellow men and letting them know how heinous such an act is. It is largely men that need to change.0
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Back in the late 80's, a gal at my work asked me to walk her to her car. She knew I taught Martial Arts in the evenings. Her ex-husband had been threatening her. I walked her to her car and her ex came out of nowhere with a gun. I took the gun away from him and administered my own beating.
That girl was part of a Woman's Club and asked me if I would come to her club and teach self-defense. I did. Later, several of those women joined my school. 3 of them went on to achieve their Black Belts.
You are a true hero!
Here is the sad part of the story. This all happened in the Parking Lot of my work. About 60 witnesses and a Security Guard. After I disarmed him and put him down, I turned the weapon over to the Securioty Guard and took the gal to the local Police department. The Police took the stance that, since it was domestic, they couldn't do anything and she would have to get a restraining order. I took this gal to my Parents' home from there and then back to my home to wait for her sister to come pick her up. When I returned to work the next day, I found out that not only did the Security Guard let the Ex go, but he returned his pistol.
That was 1984. Glad things have changed since then. I am still friends with that gal, 30 years later.0 -
If I see **** like that go down, I do something.
Speaking of just because you don't have a man's plumbing it doesn't mean that you can't rape. If your partner is saying no, and you proceed, that is rape, whether they are a man or a woman. If your partner is saying nothing at all, and you proceed, same thing. The absence of consent is rape.I can not rape or sexually assault people. That tends to help. You can also help by kicking the everliving **** out of people that do.
If I misunderstood your post then I'm sorry for calling you out.0 -
Semper Fidelis Road Dog!
Semper Fi, Brother.0 -
Back in the late 80's, a gal at my work asked me to walk her to her car. She knew I taught Martial Arts in the evenings. Her ex-husband had been threatening her. I walked her to her car and her ex came out of nowhere with a gun. I took the gun away from him and administered my own beating.
That girl was part of a Woman's Club and asked me if I would come to her club and teach self-defense. I did. Later, several of those women joined my school. 3 of them went on to achieve their Black Belts.
You are a true hero!
Here is the sad part of the story. This all happened in the Parking Lot of my work. About 60 witnesses and a Security Guard. After I disarmed him and put him down, I turned the weapon over to the Securioty Guard and took the gal to the local Police department. The Police took the stance that, since it was domestic, they couldn't do anything and she would have to get a restraining order. I took this gal to my Parents' home from there and then back to my home to wait for her sister to come pick her up. When I returned to work the next day, I found out that not only did the Security Guard let the Ex go, but he returned his pistol.
That was 1984. Glad things have changed since then. I am still friends with that gal, 30 years later.
Incredible!0 -
make it normal to teach men and young boys about not raping about how they are in no way ever entitled to someone elses body
instead of always making it up to the women and young women to not get raped - yes learning these things is still important HOWEVER IT IS NOT OUR FCKING FAULT and we should never be looked at like "well you should of done this this and this or not worn this or never gone outside walking by yourself EVER or drank that or ororororororororor"
yea im getting upset0 -
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Semper Fi brothers!
Semper Fidelis Road Dog!
Semper Fi, Brother.0 -
Also, not to fall down the rabbit hole, I am all for situational awareness and self defense -- but that's not preventing the attack from occurring, just fighting it off. The circumstances that would prevent attacks entirely are cultural/psychological in nature.
I just had the awareness thing in my mind because I happened to see this on Facebook just the other day:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QcLs98NeJY I agree a cultural change would be great, but you can only do your part.
I am not going to lie to you, I can't watch that because it will probably be a triggering for me, as I am a sexual assault survivor.
When you say "do your part" , that kind of implies that victims of sexual assault are victims because they failed to "do their part". As I said, situational awareness and self defense are important skills to have. But the idea that those skill will prevent sexual assaults is faulty logic. Actual prevention means those skills would be unnecessary because there would be no rapists.
The only way there will no rapists is that rapists have access to mental health care and that our society makes it really, really uncomfortable for rapists to exists. Women who have sex with their students, we should view her as a predator, just like we would a man. Sober men having sex with a drunk girl they barely know, that should automatically be vile. Things like that need to change and I wholly believe that we are able to change those things. That's all.0 -
Also, not to fall down the rabbit hole, I am all for situational awareness and self defense -- but that's not preventing the attack from occurring, just fighting it off. The circumstances that would prevent attacks entirely are cultural/psychological in nature.
I just had the awareness thing in my mind because I happened to see this on Facebook just the other day:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QcLs98NeJY I agree a cultural change would be great, but you can only do your part.
I am not going to lie to you, I can't watch that because it will probably be a triggering for me, as I am a sexual assault survivor.
When you say "do your part" , that kind of implies that victims of sexual assault are victims because they failed to "do their part". As I said, situational awareness and self defense are important skills to have. But the idea that those skill will prevent sexual assaults is faulty logic. Actual prevention means those skills would be unnecessary because there would be no rapists.
The only way there will no rapists is that rapists have access to mental health care and that our society makes it really, really uncomfortable for rapists to exists. Women who have sex with their students, we should view her as a predator, just like we would a man. Sober men having sex with a drunk girl they barely know, that should automatically be vile. Things like that need to change and I wholly believe that we are able to change those things. That's all.
Sorry that you are a victim, glad to see you use the word SURVIVOR! You make a very good point! Thank you!0 -
While culture may play a role I think its safe to say that no matter how many people you reach, how zen-like the world may become through higher understandings, there are people who are just not born wired right. Not every serial killer is the product of being fed dog food in a cage while there parents had orgies watching Barney videos in front of them. Know what I mean? (Sorry I have a tendency to over complicate my comparables).
So while 99.9% of the population may one day be perfectly harmless, there is still the .1% that I will continue to warm my kids about.
So to prevent it. I can do exactly what I do now. I have two daughters (18 & 15) and I CONSTANTLY warn them of the dangers of the world. The same as my mother did with me.
Be aware of who/what is around you.
Look under your car while you approach.
Check your back seats before getting into your car.
Lock your doors immediately.
Get your face out of your phone and pay attention.
Who cares if you hurt someones feelings if you get a bad feeling. Cross the street or run the other way.
ETC...
I walk frequently in the evening and usually take at least one of my daughters. A few weeks ago all three of us went. We saw the same van pass us three times with two men inside. My daughters picked it up immediately. My advice? In this OR ANY SITUATION SIMILAR that you don't feel right about. Dial 9-1 and keep your phone in your hand and be prepared to fight, kick, scream, scratch, bite, ripe, tear, shred....you get the point.0 -
While I believe that situational awareness and self defense are important to people in general, I think that implying that a woman has to do her part to prevent herself from being raped is a subtle implication that she bears partial responsibility for her own rape if it should happen.
A woman dressed provocatively is not asking for it, neither is a woman who enjoys flirting, and neither is a woman who happens to walk on a dark street at night. She should be able to freely do these things without the fear of being assaulted.
The responsibility rests SOLELY on the shoulders of the person who initiates force against another.0 -
While culture may play a role I think its safe to say that no matter how many people you reach, how zen-like the world may become through higher understandings, there are people who are just not born wired right. Not every serial killer is the product of being fed dog food in a cage while there parents had orgies watching Barney videos in front of them. Know what I mean? (Sorry I have a tendency to over complicate my comparables).
So while 99.9% of the population may one day be perfectly harmless, there is still the .1% that I will continue to warm my kids about.
So to prevent it. I can do exactly what I do now. I have two daughters (18 & 15) and I CONSTANTLY warn them of the dangers of the world. The same as my mother did with me.
Be aware of who/what is around you.
Look under your car while you approach.
Check your back seats before getting into your car.
Lock your doors immediately.
Get your face out of your phone and pay attention.
Who cares if you hurt someones feelings if you get a bad feeling. Cross the street or run the other way.
ETC...
I walk frequently in the evening and usually take at least one of my daughters. A few weeks ago all three of us went. We saw the same van pass us three times with two men inside. My daughters picked it up immediately. My advice? In this OR ANY SITUATION SIMILAR that you don't feel right about. Dial 9-1 and keep your phone in your hand and be prepared to fight, kick, scream, scratch, bite, ripe, tear, shred....you get the point.
You are right on!0
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