What would you do

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Replies

  • skyekeeper
    skyekeeper Posts: 286 Member
    I smell troll.

    Are you really that shallow minded to be more concerned with what people look like than enjoy the experience and your day. Do tell them how you feel. If I was them, I would say I don't need friends like you....
  • allison7922
    allison7922 Posts: 276 Member
    h045ED5D6_zps488add65.jpg
  • diamcoal
    diamcoal Posts: 6
    To be fair, what did she expect to happen? Especially when she says things like her fiance is 150 pounds overweight and is lucky to have her.
    Well, this is a support site. My mother always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. If people can't be supportive, they shouldn't post in the thread.

    She didn't ask for support, she asked for opinions. And, whether they were brutal or not, that's what she got.
    I think support is implied. She wants them to be a certain size and she wants to know how we would make sure she gets that. It is her wedding and her day and she should have everything she wants.

    And people answered. You can't control how others are going to react and some were, understandably, offended. I could understand her being irritated that one gained some weight, that could be a slight problem but it's not the end of the world. What I can't wrap my mind around is one losing "too much" weight and so she's upset that her friend is looking better than her. That's just petty.
    The fact of the matter is that not everything is going to go your way, there are going to be things that happen that are out of your control and the only thing you can do is make the best of it.
    If she wants to be the center of attention then she needs to take the necessary steps in order to get her wish. If not, reconcile with the fact that someone in the audience might not be locked on her the entire ceremony.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    In.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    To be fair, what did she expect to happen? Especially when she says things like her fiance is 150 pounds overweight and is lucky to have her.
    Well, this is a support site. My mother always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. If people can't be supportive, they shouldn't post in the thread.

    She didn't ask for support, she asked for opinions. And, whether they were brutal or not, that's what she got.
    I think support is implied. She wants them to be a certain size and she wants to know how we would make sure she gets that. It is her wedding and her day and she should have everything she wants.

    And people answered. You can't control how others are going to react and some were, understandably, offended. I could understand her being irritated that one gained some weight, that could be a slight problem but it's not the end of the world. What I can't wrap my mind around is one losing "too much" weight and so she's upset that her friend is looking better than her. That's just petty.
    The fact of the matter is that not everything is going to go your way, there are going to be things that happen that are out of your control and the only thing you can do is make the best of it.
    If she wants to be the center of attention then she needs to take the necessary steps in order to get her wish. If not, reconcile with the fact that someone in the audience might not be locked on her the entire ceremony.

    I am hung up on "understandably offendeded" -- how is it reasonable for anyone to be offended by somebody else's vision for their wedding they aren't in.
  • CleanUpWhatIMessedUp
    CleanUpWhatIMessedUp Posts: 206 Member
    You sound like a raging 'you know what' and I think you are being very demanding. That being said, if it really bothers you that much, then stop being a coward and actually talk to your friend about what's bothering you. Understand that this is a sensitive issue, so if it's worth losing your friendship over to have the perfect wedding, then go for it. If not, then live with it. Those are your options.
  • diamcoal
    diamcoal Posts: 6
    To be fair, what did she expect to happen? Especially when she says things like her fiance is 150 pounds overweight and is lucky to have her.
    Well, this is a support site. My mother always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. If people can't be supportive, they shouldn't post in the thread.

    She didn't ask for support, she asked for opinions. And, whether they were brutal or not, that's what she got.
    I think support is implied. She wants them to be a certain size and she wants to know how we would make sure she gets that. It is her wedding and her day and she should have everything she wants.

    And people answered. You can't control how others are going to react and some were, understandably, offended. I could understand her being irritated that one gained some weight, that could be a slight problem but it's not the end of the world. What I can't wrap my mind around is one losing "too much" weight and so she's upset that her friend is looking better than her. That's just petty.
    The fact of the matter is that not everything is going to go your way, there are going to be things that happen that are out of your control and the only thing you can do is make the best of it.
    If she wants to be the center of attention then she needs to take the necessary steps in order to get her wish. If not, reconcile with the fact that someone in the audience might not be locked on her the entire ceremony.

    I am hung up on "understandably offendeded" -- how is it reasonable for anyone to be offended by somebody else's vision for their wedding they aren't in.

    There are people here who are way over the size 6/8 mark and it seemed like she was making a size 8 out to be extremely overweight. I'm not surprised people were upset by that, it was shallow.
  • ShellF415
    ShellF415 Posts: 182 Member
    troll

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTHXOQNVZJldsXqLZ_OmAvqR3x-_n3B4licUceOqs6U5R8u1_fX

    This is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    Some people are just inconsiderate. When my sister was getting married, on of her bridesmaids became pregnant and ruined the symmetry of all the pictures. *shrug* maybe you should have chose a more understanding fiance and better, more considerate bridesmaids.

    I would personally, call quits to everything....everyone involved should only have my interests in mind and anything less than complete submission would not be tolerated....but that's just me */sarcasm/*


    OP if you are serious, you are in for some rude wake up calls later in life. It may be your day but the world does not revolve around you. I am also assuming the bridesmaids are purchasing their own dresses, feel happy enough you get to dress them as you like.

    Life happens, and not everything will go your way, heck you may get a giant zit in the middle of your face for the big day, you know stress will contribute to acne. So be careful.

    Also being offended has nothing to do with size, I had to have a size 6 taken in for my sisters wedding, I can be vain.....but this self centered is at a whole other level.
  • kethry70
    kethry70 Posts: 404 Member
    in.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    Wow, I can't believe all the unsupportive remarks on this thread. Trashing the OP just because she has high standards for her once-in-a-lifetime first wedding... just smh.

    OP, if your bridesmaids continue refusing to cooperate, and you value their friendship too much to cut them loose, then you might consider having a staggered lineup. Have the larger one stand farther from the guests, and the smaller one stand closer to the guests. The illusion should help make everyone look perfect. I know it's not ideal, but when you're dealing with people who selfishly refuse to work wth you on things like this, you do what you can.

    Oh, and with only four months to go... You'd better get them started on their uniform tanning regimen right away. If one is significantly lighter than the other, the illusory effect above could be ruined.
  • lmann72
    lmann72 Posts: 82 Member
    Wow.
  • darylwbaker
    darylwbaker Posts: 5 Member
    Agree

    Maybe she should hire models but semi good looking and not smaller than her or have brown hair and blues.. damn she should put an ad out for auditions.. yep you've to far.. just making a point..
    SHAME on you!! Those women graciously agreed to stand beside you while you marry the man of your dreams! How DARE you say what size they should be! I hope somebody spills grape Koolaid on your dress while you walk down the aisle!!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Wow, I can't believe all the unsupportive remarks on this thread. Trashing the OP just because she has high standards for her once-in-a-lifetime first wedding... just smh.

    OP, if your bridesmaids continue refusing to cooperate, and you value their friendship too much to cut them loose, then you might consider having a staggered lineup. Have the larger one stand farther from the guests, and the smaller one stand closer to the guests. The illusion should help make everyone look perfect. I know it's not ideal, but when you're dealing with people who selfishly refuse to work wth you on things like this, you do what you can.

    Oh, and with only four months to go... You'd better get them started on their uniform tanning regimen right away. If one is significantly lighter than the other, the illusory effect above could be ruined.
    See. And they say MFP people aren't helpful!

    THANK YOU!
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Wow, I can't believe all the unsupportive remarks on this thread. Trashing the OP just because she has high standards for her once-in-a-lifetime first wedding... just smh.

    OP, if your bridesmaids continue refusing to cooperate, and you value their friendship too much to cut them loose, then you might consider having a staggered lineup. Have the larger one stand farther from the guests, and the smaller one stand closer to the guests. The illusion should help make everyone look perfect. I know it's not ideal, but when you're dealing with people who selfishly refuse to work wth you on things like this, you do what you can.

    Oh, and with only four months to go... You'd better get them started on their uniform tanning regimen right away. If one is significantly lighter than the other, the illusory effect above could be ruined.
    See. And they say MFP people aren't helpful!

    THANK YOU!

    You might want to have the larger one tan a little more.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I would ask my future husband for advice. Because he will notice how his bride looks, not how much skinnier or fatter the bridesmaids are! :smile:

    Don't do this. He will realize how shallow you are and leave you for that skinny bridesmaid.

    Not when he's 150lbs overweight.
    He's lucky to be getting me

    Sounds like you need to talk to ALL of them about their weight. Buy some garcinia cambogia for the fat bridesmaid and make it her early bridesmaid gift. Do the same for your fiance but get some raspberry keytones and green coffee extract too; he's going to need all the help he can get to drop that 150 lbs in 4 months. Wrap it up nice and make it his early wedding gift. Good luck, OP. I hope these people can stop being selfish so they don't ruin your special day. :flowerforyou:
    Perhaps I need to have them sit and watch a few episodes of Dr Oz and The Doctors?
    I mean, truly I mean well.

    I just.. Well I had a very specific picture in my head. I thought we were all on the same page.

    Maybe it would help motivate them if you got some pictures of them at your goal size and photoshopped them together for a mock-up of your ceremony?
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    Is this serious? ohh boy
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    SHAME on you!! Those women graciously agreed to stand beside you while you marry the man of your dreams! How DARE you say what size they should be! I hope somebody spills grape Koolaid on your dress while you walk down the aisle!!
    I agree. This is the most silly egotistical thing I've ever read on here and that's saying something
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Juice fast and a bulk? FIFY.
  • sarahcpt1
    sarahcpt1 Posts: 11
    I was 6 months pregnant when I got married. I'm pretty sure I didn't ruin my wedding photos for being 'overweight' .
    Surely you chose them as bridesmaids because they're extremely close friends of yours, nothing to do with their weight?
    Sounds like they can't win either way, ones too fat and ones too slim .
    I'm genuinely not an argumentative person but I've never heard something so self centred . Your wedding day is special because your marrying the person you love. Who cares what your bridesmaids look like if they mean something special to you.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Have you set up MFP accounts for everyone? I would call a meeting and show each of them how to use it to log their food and exercise. And make sure size 8 and your man only get 1200 calories and don't eat their exercise calories back. Making accounts for everyone won't make the other 2 feel singled out. I think you're on the right track, OP. Nobody should get in the way of your day! :drinker:
  • Proph24
    Proph24 Posts: 195
    :yawn: you should be thankful you have a friend that would want to show up for your wedding that'd be the day i ruin one of my saturdays to go to some wanna be perfectionists wedding who worried about me looking worse in order for them to look better :laugh:
  • _Tink_
    _Tink_ Posts: 3,845 Member
    Green coffee bean extract and a colon cleanse. You're welcome.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Have you set up MFP accounts for everyone? I would call a meeting and show each of them how to use it to log their food and exercise. And make sure size 8 and your man only get 1200 calories and don't eat their exercise calories back. Making accounts for everyone won't make the other 2 feel singled out. I think you're on the right track, OP. Nobody should get in the way of your day! :drinker:

    Brilliant!
  • sarahcpt1
    sarahcpt1 Posts: 11
    Are you sure you don't wanna get some Botox for those lines in your forehead? I mean, they could ruin the photos right? Lol joke op. Just making a point :)
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
    To be fair, what did she expect to happen? Especially when she says things like her fiance is 150 pounds overweight and is lucky to have her.
    Well, this is a support site. My mother always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. If people can't be supportive, they shouldn't post in the thread.


    I have to ask.....WHERE DO ALL THE PEOPLE SEE MFP SAYING ITS A SUPPORT SITE?

    When I look there is a forum section called "motivation and support". When I look at the top of this thread it says " chit chat fun & games" . I looked everywhere, no where that I can find does MFP state that this is a support site/forum except the one subsection forum.

    It is not another grown adults responsibility to coddle another grown adult. Big day or not the OP's demands are outlandish and immature. People will call it like they see it, and supporting someone is not the same as agreeing with them........

    Showing support (even though this is not the support section)......

    OP.... Not sure if the stress is clouding your judgment, but the way you speak of your fiance and friends is not healthy. Insulting your soon to be husband does not bode well for the longterm sustainability of your marriage. Being too demanding on those closest to you can ruin relationships. Plus the stress can cause unneeded strain, things happen and if these little things are jeopardizing your happiness on your big day....how will you handle if it rains, you period comes unexpectedly, you breakout due to stress, a child spills a drink on you at the reception.........ALL of these are still little things....a major stress like illness or accident seems like it would push you over the deep end. Please for your health, enjoy marrying the man you love and making this commitment in the presence of those closest to you.....that is what a wedding truly is, all the other stuff is just fluff....nice but not the important factors.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    Well, it certainly has been Fun :bigsmile:
    I'm not sure which set of comments have been more entertaining, though.

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