Boyfriend's Mom Is Unreasonable. Help?

Actually, yes you have. People corrected your kettlebell stance (that photo is in your gallery) in the first thread. You were on my fl for a while. So. Yeah.

I meant in regards to my relationships. And I corrected my stance in that. o.o

Here's my honest opinion: I agree with the mom on this one. I believe that until a kid is out of the house, has graduated, found a decent job and makes enough money to take care of themselves and a potential baby (just in case) then they can't a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Right now you need to focus on your education and career. Crying over a boy at this age is not worth it because 10 years from now you might look back and wonder why you ever bothered with him. Because your taste in men would have changed / evolved. And also because right now, it's not easy to tell which boy will turn into a real man and which boy will stay a boy. And you don't wanna be stuck with the wrong one.

So you feel they aren't allowed to go on dates or see people? I'm not trying to argue, just understand your point of view. I turn 20 this year and well, I feel like experiences should be encouraged as long as you have guidance because in their household it's "mom is always right or you get out." That doesn't make for good decision making, in my opinion. I understand I need to focus on college and I am but I also believe that there needs to be a barrier between school and play for forming relationships aids in that.

No worries, it's good that you came here to ask questions. And to answer your question: No I don't believe in parents who think it's their way, or the highway. Debates / conversations need to happen just like we are having here. Compromises need to be made where the parents / kids win some battles but lose others, ...?

And there's a lot of other experiences that can be encouraged such as traveling, working, starting a small business, socializing with friends, volunteering, ....

But for sexual experiences, I still think that it's best to wait until you are financially independent. And you sound like a smart kid, so it might take you only a couple years. is a couple years going to kill you ? And trust me you will still have plenty of time / opportunities to experience, make mistakes and learn from them. The difference is you will suffer a softet landing as you will have the maturity, independence, and $$$ to fix / deal with the mistakes / consequences however, whenever you want it.

Neither one of them is a prostitute (to my knowledge) so what does financial independence have to do with sex???

OP, your boyfriend has a couple of choices. (A) Listen to his mom and follow her rules. If he does this, you need to move on as it won't end well for you. (B) He has a job, so theoretically, he can move out and stop letting Mommy make his decisions. But that's up to him.

I think it's ridiculous that his mom exerts this type of control over him, but if he's not willing to stand up to her, there is not a thing you can do about it. It's really up to him from here.

I think the whole thing about you can't have sex before you are financially independent is because of unplanned pregnancy. I am guessing where they come from there is no such thing as birth control or safe sex!!

OP,

I seen a post where you said you never met his mom. Maybe that is the problem.

I hate to be the one to ask this because I hate it in general, but I have to just because I feel like it may be part of it, or could be, at least, because people suck. What race is your BF? PLEASE don't take this wrong, I am just asking because like I said, people suck.

African american. I've been trying to meet her but she isn't willing.

@Hookilau- I dunno. He has to be allowed out of the house I guess? I don't have to have permission to go there. My mom said yes. but if he can't go, I just wasted a lot of gas and money, haha.