unsupportive friend

This is just how women are, unfortunately.

Really? Because not one of my friends acted like that with me, in this whole process. Not one.

How about being honest with your best friend? "BFF, I love you and I love our friendship. The reality is that I'm changing my lifestyle to be more healthy and to lose weight. I'm sad that you do that eye roll thing and that instead of cheering me forward you are negative."

Then if she continues this behavior, rethink the friendship. The situation is somewhat analogous to a recovering alcoholic who should drop his drinking buddies who continue to create a drinking environment. She wants you to be her cheesecake and pizza friend, not her salad friend. If a falling out ensues, so be it.

^ ^ agree!

Overweight people that keep saying they are happy with their size are all lying to themselves and everyone around them. No one is happy being tired, sick and unable to do normal daily activities without getting winded. They are just afraid to try to make the change. There can be many reasons why but in the end they are just afraid and don't want the people around them to change either. As someone else said....Misery loves company.

I gotta say, this is kind of inaccurate, being happy with your size is something different than being unable to do normal everyday activities(you can still be large and be fit) and I think in order to actually make a change, you have to like yourself enough to do it.

ANYWAYS OP, I would say I fall into the un-supportive friend category, one of my really close friends lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw her(we go to school in different states) and it took me a while to come to terms with it, so I kind of just don't talk about it around her, but honestly she motivated me to really do it this time. And I think I can see where your friend is coming from, but I've also learned if people can't be supportive, you're better off without them, even if you think you need them. Someone else will come along, or you'll be able to surround yourself with more supportive people.

TL;DR
Drop the "friend", make new more supportive friends

If she's your best friend, why can't you tell her how you feel as opposed to a public forum?

This.

Also, it's nice when people support you but it doesn't make good people, bad people when they don't take an active interest in something important to you. Things that are for you, are for you, not anyone else. I met up with a friend that I hadn't seen in years. The last time we got together, I was nearly 200 lbs. I'm now 155. She didn't say anything about it (she did say she liked the way I was doing my hair now) but I also didn't say anything about it to her. Why? There are more important aspects to interpersonal relationships than my weight.

Your weight and your weight loss might be a huge deal to you. It is not and never will be a truly huge deal to anyone else (unless you become a celebrity weight loss/fitness guru).

Can't really tell what's going on in her mind without asking her directly, but my bet is that it is making her think about her own weight. Some people tend to deal with problems and life by simply pretending that they don't exist. People will notice your weight loss faster than you will (in my opinion), she's noticing and feeling self conscious about herself now.

I would try having one heart to heart with her at a time when you are not responding to something negative that she said and might have pissed you off, but a calm conversation about your reasons for losing weight.

She may feel that once you lose the weight you won't want to be her friend . . . of course with weight loss sometimes comes the loss of friendships, lovers and even family relationships

Be strong and do what is right for you!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

This is just how women are, unfortunately.

Oh, Sonic, Sonic, Sonic. This is how some human beings are, unfortunately.

Nope, just women

Edited to add that y'all are known to buy clothes/shoes just so other women can't have them :laugh:

Wow, you sound single.

It's possible that you're talking about it more than you realize, and now she's afraid that weight loss and being thin are so important to you that you will judge her or not want to be her friend, etc. I know that's not what you're thinking, but she can't read your mind!

It sounds like you *are* getting good support in your life from others, so maybe in your relationship she's the one who needs support more than you do?

Tell her that the change your making is just personal, and let her know you never meant to make her feel uncomfortable, and just nicely ask her to not pressure you to eat things like cheesecake because you're trying really hard.

Also personally I've found that the less I talk about weight loss, the less people pressure me! If I order a salad confidently and casually, then people just roll with it.

ive been there. i have a friend who is not overweight, she could maybe do with losing 10lbs or just getting a little fitter. but i have 100 lbs to lose.. well 86 now. and when i started she saw it like some kind of competition that she could win first... i bought a gym standard treadmill for my mums house that i could use. so she started wondering how she could afford the same one, when i told her my progress on the treadmill i didnt get a well done or even and interested 'nice' i just got 'oh i could do double that'. shes really not supportive at all. she hates when id rather drive instead of drinking when we go out and she hates that i dont want to order chinese food every week and id rather cook it myself. its frustrating. i try not to ram my dieting down her throat but i dont want her to ram all the bad stuff down mine either. i just shrug it off, it doesnt make her any less my friend i just guess my journey is making her question herself.