Finding Happiness as an Adult

the child playing example reminded me of something my Sifu often tell us. Strive for zero, for nothingness.

As a baby we start at 0. We then learn a few things and try to up our value, become a 1 a 2 a5 and so forth. As some point we find the value is not an add on, but a realizing we alone are enough, a zero. And we start to drop value on things, events, people, and such in our lives.

It is when we are really just a 0 at best, pure, true, and enough, that we have achieved full circle and find enlightenment

I sorta like that.... it may take me a few trips around the horn, but I want to get there.

Right now, I like ot so stuff with people, and it makes me happy. At least I have started to learn a loose grip.

King Solomon said that he had done a great many things in pursuit of happiness - got knowledge, huge masses of wealth, lots of women, horses, built gardens and buildings, had the best entertainers, alcohol - and all of it amounted to chasing wind. The conclusion he came up with was that men are happiest when they obey God, enjoy the work God has given him to do, and enjoy his food and drink.

I agree with those three things.

So, when I'm washing dishes, which was my least favorite task, I am thankful for dirty dishes, because it means we had something to eat. I can enjoy the least pleasant aspects of my job. I had a fulfilling career with respect and prestige and ended up homeschooling my kids because my kids needed it. And God gave me the work and grace to truly enjoy this season of life with them. It's very fulfilling work.

The other is to stop trying to get people to understand me. Everyone has a different way of viewing the world, different life experiences, etc. So they probably won't "get me" all the time. That's ok. God understands me, and is kind to me anyway.

And, along that vein, being understanding of moods. When you're in a bad mood, it's like rain - it will pass, and its ok to have them. Plants need sunshine and rain to grow. Winter helps the ground to rest in order to be productive in Spring. So smile and cry and slow down if you need to. Be relaxed about mood changes in yourself and others.

Omg. Ecclesiastes has to be one of the most brilliant books every every written hands down - easily would be found in my top 5 - Solomon is so relatable despite living so many years ago previous to us - it is frankly shocking.
I recently came to the conclusion that material goods do not bring happiness - It aided me in getting my life in order - but yeah it is a mute issue - women, entertainers, alcohol - fun for a season - but it is just a season so it does indeed pass.

I don't know if there is a God or not - but if there is I certainly don't understand why the worlds most brilliant mind would have left his convictions with him - particularly after receiving his blessing from him. My only conclusion is he came to the state of realization that God, and I say this totally respectfully, not bitterly - but that a God that allows the pain in the world, and the state of uncertainly and suffering can't be a perfect God for making such an imperfect creation - one wouldn't call an artist perfect if their art was riddled with mistakes. Likewise - being omnipotent, why not create a world void of the pain, yet still enable mankind to live with free will - being all-powerful would certainly allow this possibility - and prior to the fall in the garden I'm sure this was the case, so earth would have only needed a minor tweak. I just don't understand this.

you gotta find your "WHY"....in all that you do....Relationships, work, working out.....then once you decide why your doing or liking something commit to it and hit your goals.....having fun is a choice or mental mindset

the child playing example reminded me of something my Sifu often tell us. Strive for zero, for nothingness.

As a baby we start at 0. We then learn a few things and try to up our value, become a 1 a 2 a5 and so forth. As some point we find the value is not an add on, but a realizing we alone are enough, a zero. And we start to drop value on things, events, people, and such in our lives.

It is when we are really just a 0 at best, pure, true, and enough, that we have achieved full circle and find enlightenment

I sorta like that.... it may take me a few trips around the horn, but I want to get there.

Right now, I like ot so stuff with people, and it makes me happy. At least I have started to learn a loose grip.

see ironically that is what I have such a problem with - I not only intellectually know, I can feel the fact that we are all zero - nothingness - ironically "less than zero" as Brett Easton Ellis would have said years ago. I don't know how one can find enlightenment in that.. it's sad to look out at the cosmos and realize we are really temporal beings leaving no lasting effect on even our own planet.

leaving an impact is ego
being zero is humility
humility leads to gratitude
being grateful = happy

King Solomon said that he had done a great many things in pursuit of happiness - got knowledge, huge masses of wealth, lots of women, horses, built gardens and buildings, had the best entertainers, alcohol - and all of it amounted to chasing wind. The conclusion he came up with was that men are happiest when they obey God, enjoy the work God has given him to do, and enjoy his food and drink.

I agree with those three things.

So, when I'm washing dishes, which was my least favorite task, I am thankful for dirty dishes, because it means we had something to eat. I can enjoy the least pleasant aspects of my job. I had a fulfilling career with respect and prestige and ended up homeschooling my kids because my kids needed it. And God gave me the work and grace to truly enjoy this season of life with them. It's very fulfilling work.

The other is to stop trying to get people to understand me. Everyone has a different way of viewing the world, different life experiences, etc. So they probably won't "get me" all the time. That's ok. God understands me, and is kind to me anyway.

And, along that vein, being understanding of moods. When you're in a bad mood, it's like rain - it will pass, and its ok to have them. Plants need sunshine and rain to grow. Winter helps the ground to rest in order to be productive in Spring. So smile and cry and slow down if you need to. Be relaxed about mood changes in yourself and others.

Omg. Ecclesiastes has to be one of the most brilliant books every every written hands down - easily would be found in my top 5 - Solomon is so relatable despite living so many years ago previous to us - it is frankly shocking.
I recently came to the conclusion that material goods do not bring happiness - It aided me in getting my life in order - but yeah it is a mute issue - women, entertainers, alcohol - fun for a season - but it is just a season so it does indeed pass.

I don't know if there is a God or not - but if there is I certainly don't understand why the worlds most brilliant mind would have left his convictions with him - particularly after receiving his blessing from him. My only conclusion is he came to the state of realization that God, and I say this totally respectfully, not bitterly - but that a God that allows the pain in the world, and the state of uncertainly and suffering can't be a perfect God for making such an imperfect creation - one wouldn't call an artist perfect if their art was riddled with mistakes. Likewise - being omnipotent, why not create a world void of the pain, yet still enable mankind to live with free will - being all-powerful would certainly allow this possibility - and prior to the fall in the garden I'm sure this was the case, so earth would have only needed a minor tweak. I just don't understand this.

^briefly compounding on this point - I don't know why an omniscient God - and once again I say this respectfully because deep down in my heart I want there to be a God so that life has some sort of purpose/meaning - but why would an omniscient God - who would be able to obviously see the future - or perhaps be a separate being from time entirely, why with hindsight being 20/20 bother to create lucifer to begin with - or even plant the tree of God and Evil in the garden of Eden - with his hindsight we would be required to live up to his will - in that case we truely have no free will because we must live up to his expectation of our acts - just as he foresaw adam would take a bite outta the apple - why plant that tree to begin with?

I just don't understand this - Christians will say he planted that tree to give mankind the ability of free will - but paradoxically with God's all-knowing attributes why would he plant it then?

Even with God being immutable - how is it that an immutable being could have his mind changed from talking to a mere mortal (Moses in regards to sparing the Israelite)? - once again I'm respectfully baffled. ..and that doesn't bring happiness

First of all, I can see that you are intelligently seeking the answers to your questions. High intelligence comes with its own set of problems, like great beauty or wealth. We have a tendency to not be content with simple answers. Having wrestled with these issues myself, I hope I can assist you, because faith in God is truely awesome, and provides joy even in times of great distress.

In regard to your desire to believe in God - it is my thought that you already believe in God, you just need to understand better - the why's to the hard questions in life. The book of Job was written for this purpose. Job was a God fearing, righteous man, rich in all blessings from God. Then suddenly, calamity visited him and within a matter of days, his wealth, health and children were gone. He felt it was unfair, because he'd served God faithfully. If only he could plead his case with God, he thought, God would see the "mistakes." God grants him an audience, and God begins to question Job - do you know the depth of the sea? Can you measure it? Or do you know what treasures God put in the snow? Or put bravery in a horse? Or stupidity in ostriches so that others could eat eggs? And on and on he went.

Let's pause here. It would be many thousands of years after the writing of this book that someone would invent a microscope that could see the jewel like beauty in a snowflake, and years after that to understand that each snowflake is a unique design.

You are a thoughtful man, a thinker, so I will not present the entire case at once, but allow you some time to pray, read, and ponder a while.

Thank you. :flowerforyou:

being humble is to realize you've got nothing coming. You are special, but you ain't no big deal.

when you got nothing coming, whatever you do get- like food, friends, and interaction on the internet, you can feel grateful for it = happy

or you can lack humility, and think you are owed and deserve things = ungrateful, dissatisfied and there is never enough = unhappy

i am trying to learn how to find my own happiness and not depend on realtionships or people or any other outside being to "make me happy."

i mean you want to enjoy the people in your life, your pets, your coworkers, but you cannot depend on them...for your happiness.

Agree 100%. I am trying to follow this same philosophy. I believe this completely, but it's really HARD sometimes to remember it all the time isn't it?! But yes, to depend on anything (or anyone) outside ourselves for our happiness is a sure way to limit the amount of happiness we can actually have. Why give that kind of power over ourselves away to other people or things?

Jo