Is being fat a disability??

My granddaughter was born without a rectum..so she was rushed to egleston for emergency surgery. Her condition has a name and luckily she had the lightest case of it because all her organs were where they needed to be and they only had to "create" her rectum...as my daughter was filling out paperwork there was a disability form included when she asked why the dr explained because she had this conditioni, she was eligible...even though she had the lightest form. My daughter asked if she would have any issues as she got older and the Dr said no after this surgery she will be fine. My daughter said well then she doesnt need to be on disability.....now at 3 yrs old Brylie is fine and you cant even tell she was born without it, but if my daughter wanted to, she could be getting a check now.....I fully agree that every situation needs to be looked at alone, but I also believe people are too quick to take the easy way out....

I agree, things should be looked at on a case by case bases, however, no one should make snap judgments or broad generalizations on what you perceive. I agree there are people that milk the system, however, I do believe that number is far lower than people think it is.

PS glad your granddaughter is doing awesome.

Humanity is a personal thing. It's about personal choices, not the choices of another. If you get lung cancer and someone offers you aid, it's because they are a decent human being, and not because you deserved to be treated with decency.

Yes, but my point is, in my view, there are others who do deserve that aid and empathy. There's not a surplus of assistance in the world today, and it should go to the woman who got breast cancer for no other reason than she's a woman and has boobs, before it goes to someone like me who made a conscience choice to do something stupid.

So what exactly are you saying is that even though there are people who don't judge you for your personal choice that they should. I'm sorry, but that's not how human decency works. Give without judgement, care without judgment, and love without judgment.

I should have said the depression thing differently,BUT I do stand behind my words about this person. I have sat next to her for 14 yrs and I know that she had to go through counseling and was not clinically depressed(this came from her). For HER, it is an excuse...

She could be telling you a story because she's afraid you'll mock her if she tells you she sees a psychiatrist and/or is on medication for it. She might be getting a vibe that you think she's weak and doesn't need to give you any more ammo to use against her.

I should have said the depression thing differently,BUT I do stand behind my words about this person. I have sat next to her for 14 yrs and I know that she had to go through counseling and was not clinically depressed(this came from her). For HER, it is an excuse...

I will say, that if it's not the right kind of counselor, it won't work. Since the trauma I had at age 9, I was immediately put into therapy, that therapist sucked. I hated it, it obviously didn't work. I tried again at 25, again, not the right kind of counselor. I found one a year and a half ago and she's absolutely amazing. I still fight every single day, but I'm much better than I was. I've been taught how to deal with the PTSD I had, how to love myself and accept myself. Most importantly how to not blame myself for my fathers death (the trauma - bad car wreck and I was in the car with him...I was asleep...blah blah...).

Again though, it's like weight loss, someone has to WANT to get better, they have to want to get help. So whether she's clinically depressed or just depressed, if she's with the wrong kind of counselor, and actually doesn't want to get better she won't. I do agree that some use it as an excuse, however, it's not like a light switch someone can just turn on, they have to want to turn it on first.

You don't know what's in her head. Like the other poster said, she could be not telling you the full story, because she's sensing your judgment and thinking it's bs. She could be filled with self hate, which is a horrible horrible vicious cycle and it's hard to get out of. HARD.

So I hope what you'll take from this is to take a step back from your current feelings about her, try to just have compassion, even if she's making it an excuse, who are you to decide that for her? If she is making excuses that is actually her problem/issue, not yours.

Yes, if a person arrives at one or more of those conditions, they do have a disability. However, if the reason they got lung cancer was from smoking; lost their legs playing chicken with a train, do we, as a society, owe them the same level of empathy and or assistance that we have for those who are disabled through no fault of their own?

Yes.

That's not even a question. Morally and legally.

We'll have to agree to disagree there. As a former smoker, should I develop lung cancer in the future because of it, I do not want, nor do I think I deserve empathy and assistance from society. I was stupid for smoking in the first place. Stupid shouldn't be rewarded.

So, I guess you will be paying out of pocket for all medical expenses, not using insurance, medicaid or medicare, and if it is bad enough that you can no longer work, instead of taking disability, you plan on living on the streets because it was all your fault for smoking? I doubt it.

Why would I not use my insurance? I paid for it. In fact, I paid more for it because I was a smoker. Don't have medicaid or medicare (even though I help pay for those), so I can't use it. If it was to the point that I couldn't work, that would also mean I'm not long for this world, so living on the streets or not wouldn't be an issue. I believe in being responsible for my actions and don't believe in burdening society and/or my family for my poor choices. Your doubting my conviction is irrelevant.

It isn't doubting your conviction, though I would add that I find it to be a bit selfish.

But you did doubt my conviction on what I would do should the situation arise. That's your opinion, based on zero knowledge of me, which is why I said it is irrelevant (I should have added, "to me"). As for selfish, what is selfish about not wanting to burden my family with tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills? What is selfish about not wanting my kids around a hospital bed while their father is coughing up blood and dying? It's not that I'm ready to punch my ticket; it's that I want my family to be able to get on with their lives as soon as possible, with as little burden and/or trauma when that time comes. If that's selfish, then I guess I'm a selfish *kitten*.

Yes, if a person arrives at one or more of those conditions, they do have a disability. However, if the reason they got lung cancer was from smoking; lost their legs playing chicken with a train, do we, as a society, owe them the same level of empathy and or assistance that we have for those who are disabled through no fault of their own?

Yes.

That's not even a question. Morally and legally.

We'll have to agree to disagree there. As a former smoker, should I develop lung cancer in the future because of it, I do not want, nor do I think I deserve empathy and assistance from society. I was stupid for smoking in the first place. Stupid shouldn't be rewarded.

Rewarded would mean given a good thing.

Being helped out with cancer - that's so the opposite of a good thing that I'm a little baffled.

Look at it this way.....you help me with my lung cancer, the lung cancer that I got because I made a stupid decision in my teens; a stupid decision that kept making for 20+ years, because you're a good person. However, in doing this, you may be taking resources and/or time away from another person suffering from a cancer that they got not from making a stupid decision, but because sometimes bad things happen to people. In my view, it is that person who deserves your time and effort, not me. "Reward" might not be the best word to use there, but I hope the above conveys what I was getting at.

Luckily, we're not a Randian society. We're better than that.

When someone in society suffers, we all have the potential to be impacted. A man who needs money for his life saving medications will fall to theft to survive. That's his fault for his actions, but a significant societal failure that he was pushed to that. The stupidity of a decision notwithstanding, without belaboring examples, economically and socially it behooves us to ensure that these folks are cared for.

It's a matter of empathy and taking a long view on social issues, which is something we don't do or have anymore. *shrug*

You are so silly. Of course we still do. My neighbor's job is to schedule hearing tests for preschoolers. Human society isn't at 100% and it will never be, but we help each out in innumerable ways.

I should have said the depression thing differently,BUT I do stand behind my words about this person. I have sat next to her for 14 yrs and I know that she had to go through counseling and was not clinically depressed(this came from her). For HER, it is an excuse...

Thank you for acknowledging the brash way you phrased your statement. That is worth a lot.

However, many of my closest friends and relatives had no idea how badly I struggled with self harm, depression, and anxiety. It really is that simple for others to overlook your disability when they can't see it. Compassion, compassion, compassion. Even if it seems like you're just being patronizing, you could make her day that much better by showing her love and support rather than judging her.

Also, I've totally lied about therapy sessions and what the therapist told me. Wouldn't surprise me if she went to therapy at someone's behest, was told she had x, y, z whatever and needed to be medicated, was ashamed because of the stigma surrounding mental illness, and then started telling everyone the doc said nothing's wrong.

ETA: I realize I damaged my own credibility by calling myself a liar, but it was years ago and I was afraid to admit that I had a problem.

Having a rather serious, sometimes debilitating medical condition that no one can see, I'm just going to say I wish people would stop making assumptions about people in general, and specifically about their abilities.

+1

...and i'll add that for 10 years I disabled myself by not exercising. my chronic pain got so bad in that time that I tried to kill myself. only after I hit rock bottom in this way did I start doing what everyone (drs espesh) told me to do: exercise, stupid! it's the most effective tx for fibromyalgia! (also the most effective tx for something else IYKWIM) now that I am exercising regularly, my condition is only sometimes debilitating. for this reason I put myself squarely in the same camp with others who could vastly improve their health/quality of life if they only exercised IYKWIM.

so, how much shame should I feel for having formerly disabled myself?? and that's not sarcasm, by the way. I really feel like some degree of shame is appropriate in my case. I had a great deal of control over my condition, and I completely abdicated it for an entire decade. :embarassed:

And then you got a handle on it. Good for you.

The majority of the successful people on this site wished they would have figured it out earlier. It's a learning process. Don't bash yourself for not having learned earlier. You did when you were able to.

Humanity is a personal thing. It's about personal choices, not the choices of another. If you get lung cancer and someone offers you aid, it's because they are a decent human being, and not because you deserved to be treated with decency.

Yes, but my point is, in my view, there are others who do deserve that aid and empathy. There's not a surplus of assistance in the world today, and it should go to the woman who got breast cancer for no other reason than she's a woman and has boobs, before it goes to someone like me who made a conscience choice to do something stupid.

So what exactly are you saying is that even though there are people who don't judge you for your personal choice that they should. I'm sorry, but that's not how human decency works. Give without judgement, care without judgment, and love without judgment.

Where does that put respecting one's wishes? If assistance was an infinite resource, I'd probably concede this point, but there's only so much to go around. Again, in my view, people who need this assistance due to no fault of their own deserve this assistance more than someone like me who would be in the position due to a conscience choice.