rudest thing anyone has ever said about your weight?
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When I was 10 years old, I went to visit my Dad over summer vacation. He takes one look at me after not having seen me since the previous summer and said, "You're going to have trouble with your thighs."0
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At my Aunt's house, I went to get a slice of fresh baked bread from the kitchen. Upon coming back into the living room, my Dad told me to stop just as I was in the doorway. I was confused, but did it, he told me to put my arms out and touch the door frame, I did... Then he told me if I kept eating, I wouldn't be able to fit through the door. I think I was 7 or 8 and was a chubby kid.
He also said rude things about my Mom's weight. And asked my sister if she was pregnant when she started to gain weight...
My Dad had a very twisted view on what women should look like...0 -
Wow. I never cease to be amazed by the cruelty some folks seem so delighted to dole out to others. I'm really sorry that you all have been through such things. And idiots out there still think shame is an effective weight loss motivation tool. Smh. I was pretty fat as a kid and I remember very distinctively my dad telling me that no would love me unless I stopped eating like a pig and lost weight. I think I would have been around 11 or 12. He saw no problem with saying I shouldn't eat this or that in front of friends and family who were enjoying the same foods. All the while modeling an inactive lifestyle and bringing home unhealthy foods.
In hindsight he just didn't know how to deal with his concern over my weight and was the kind of man for whom a woman's worth was primarily her appearance. He is very different now, never comments on my weight except to say I am doing a good job losing it. I am glad for that. I wonder if he knows how much his words held me back from losing for so long. PS, he was wrong, I met honestly the sweetest, most romantic man ever, he loved me at over 300 lbs, tells me I'm beautiful, and with his unconditional love and gentle support I started to see my own value as more than just a shell, I care about myself now...and folks, that's the best weight loss motivation there is.
I 100% agree with you. My ex would always comment on my weight. It never motivated, just pissed me off. My husband on the other hand, met me at my highest, proceeded to tell me he loves me as is, and now is supporting me 100% on becoming a smaller me. I don't think I would have done it without him. His love and support and not once telling me anything weight related really set me free in a sense.0 -
I remember back when I was no more than kindergarten/1st grade at the most, my gma and great aunt making me come over and show them my hips/stomach and remarking how I'd end up being "so large" when I got older. (They were both in the medical field, what ever). They tried to make me do it again to show an aunt or something but I refused. I just remember feeling so much shame at that age that I was going to be a "big" girl.
More recently, even after losing weight, I selected a large shirt for here at work. Because there was a huge line of women looking at shirts, I turned around to let the rest see what a large looked like. When I told fellow co-workers that I got a large, I was told, to my face "Seriously, YOU got a large?" by more than one person. If you've never seen a grown 30 something year old woman revert back to the emo highschooler wanting to curl up and die? Yeah, it was then.
Effing mental issues huh??1 -
I actually had TWO very sad and embarrassing moments in high school, when I was I the 9th grade. My clothing design teacher (who looked to be about 400lbs or more) exclaimed "You have gained WEIGHT!" There were about two students walking out when she said it, too. Then she went on to tell me how SOME boys liked big girls, but.....(she didn't finish) and she asked me what I had been eating. She started suggesting that I become more active, but all I could do was stare at her large tummy, as she humiliated ME! Then, my algebra teacher told me after class (while I was in front of my friend) that HE thought I was one of the prettiest girls in his class, and how slimming down would make me even prettier. Unfortunately for my fat azz (eye roll) he yelled it out of the door as I tried to leave. Oh, and did I mention that the bell rang, so kids were switching class as he yelled this? This was a VERY sad time for me in my life, and it caused me to be depressed. A few weeks after that, I learned that I suffered from PCOS.0
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I am so, so, SO sorry. No one should ever have to deal with that. Ever. They're the ugly ones.
Agreed. This applies to all on this board0 -
Back when I initially lost 85lbs, my neighbor invited me over to "fix her computer." She locked me in the house and insisted on telling me how unhealthy I was, how I was likely abusing drugs to get to thin, how clearly I had something "dark in my soul" and how I needed God to help me, and how she wouldn't let me leave until I ate a piece of cake. And then I'm pretty sure she tried to get me to have sex with her.
WTF? I mean what the actual *kitten*?
Why in the world are there so many wackadoodle people!?
Wackadoodle is my very favourite word ever :happy:
That woman does indeed sound like a fruitcake. How did you manage to get free?0 -
Back when I initially lost 85lbs, my neighbor invited me over to "fix her computer." She locked me in the house and insisted on telling me how unhealthy I was, how I was likely abusing drugs to get to thin, how clearly I had something "dark in my soul" and how I needed God to help me, and how she wouldn't let me leave until I ate a piece of cake. And then I'm pretty sure she tried to get me to have sex with her.
WTF? I mean what the actual *kitten*?
Why in the world are there so many wackadoodle people!?
Wackadoodle is my very favourite word ever :happy:
That woman does indeed sound like a fruitcake. How did you manage to get free?
I convinced her that she'd see me next Sunday at church, accepted the religious-publisher book on anorexia she gave me, and walked out the front door. The book went right into her flower garden.
Ha! Love it. Although pig that I am, I would have been like "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRAZY OLD WIT- Ooooh, cake! Go on then, one quick slice" Lol.0 -
Back when I initially lost 85lbs, my neighbor invited me over to "fix her computer." She locked me in the house and insisted on telling me how unhealthy I was, how I was likely abusing drugs to get to thin, how clearly I had something "dark in my soul" and how I needed God to help me, and how she wouldn't let me leave until I ate a piece of cake. And then I'm pretty sure she tried to get me to have sex with her.
WTF? I mean what the actual *kitten*?
Why in the world are there so many wackadoodle people!?
Wackadoodle is my very favourite word ever :happy:
That woman does indeed sound like a fruitcake. How did you manage to get free?
I convinced her that she'd see me next Sunday at church, accepted the religious-publisher book on anorexia she gave me, and walked out the front door. The book went right into her flower garden.
Ha! Love it. Although pig that I am, I would have been like "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRAZY OLD WIT- Ooooh, cake! Go on then, one quick slice" Lol.
Before I even looked at your profile Bex, I knew you had to be English (I married a Brit so I've been "exposed" lol)0 -
There seems to be an increase in ignorant, insensitive, cruel people in the big wide world today. I'm so sorry you have all been hurt by these thoughtless people. When I was a child I was taught this. I have never seen it since but it's maybe what the world needs to learn today:
So many faiths, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind
When just the art of being kind
Is what the old world needs.0 -
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Back when I initially lost 85lbs, my neighbor invited me over to "fix her computer." She locked me in the house and insisted on telling me how unhealthy I was, how I was likely abusing drugs to get to thin, how clearly I had something "dark in my soul" and how I needed God to help me, and how she wouldn't let me leave until I ate a piece of cake. And then I'm pretty sure she tried to get me to have sex with her.
WTF? I mean what the actual *kitten*?
Why in the world are there so many wackadoodle people!?
Wackadoodle is my very favourite word ever :happy:
That woman does indeed sound like a fruitcake. How did you manage to get free?
I convinced her that she'd see me next Sunday at church, accepted the religious-publisher book on anorexia she gave me, and walked out the front door. The book went right into her flower garden.
Ha! Love it. Although pig that I am, I would have been like "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRAZY OLD WIT- Ooooh, cake! Go on then, one quick slice" Lol.
Before I even looked at your profile Bex, I knew you had to be English (I married a Brit so I've been "exposed" lol)
Haha! Am I that obviously British? I guess so, what what! I would also probably risk roofies for a nice bit of cake.0 -
One day, my mom said that my father would have never dated her if she would have been like me. And that it would be impossible for me to get a boyfriend if I remain obese .
Also, a former classmate from university said that when you're big, even if you have nice clothes, it never looks good. She wasn't speaking specifically about me and was trying to say that I looked good (I had lost 60 pounds at the time) but, gee, she didn't have the knack for compliments!0 -
Once while on a date with my now husband a little kid pointed at me and started nearly screaming about how I was the biggest person he had ever seen. His mom grabbed him and goes "I know, I know, come on". I was more upset that she didn't say anything to him about how it was unkind to say that; I bet anything that kid grew up thinking it was okay to act that way.
On another date (same man) I had another overweight woman who was working at the burger joint we visited ask "How did you get such a cute boyfriend. I mean, you are fat.".
Right after I got married I had a new insurance and switched doctors becaues mine was not in network. The doctor told my husband, in front of me, that I was too fat for him to get me pregnant. Not that I couldn't, that he shouldn't because I shouldn't have babies.0 -
My family is full of big 'uns.....at 40 lbs heavier than I should be at 5'1, I'm the smallest adult female by far. So....as far as family goes, I've only had two people say anything to me about it. My brother (who has his own demons to wrestle with) and my grandfather who had severe dementia at the time. It wasn't necessarily rude on either count....just hurtful since the truth does hurt.
As far as strangers or outside of family members, no one has ever said anything to me. I'm very lucky on that front because I don't think I would handle that very well. The worst I fall victim to is the common-to-bigger-gals "You've got such a pretty face!" the subtext being "the rest of you is a hot mess, but good for you on that whole face thing.". People mean well, but facts are facts.... I'm fat but don't carry much of it from the neck up. This works out quite well for internet profile pictures, I'll tell you w'hut.
I'm sorry so many people have experienced such negativity and hatefulness. Being tactfully approached by a family member or very close friend out of concern for their health is one thing....acquaintances and strangers spouting off is just rude...and is even more hurtful when ill thought attacks are coming from family members.0 -
Once I was at the supermarket and a girl pointed a me and said "wow mom, look at that girl, she is so fat!"
Every time I go to a family get together, someone always mentions my weight "when are you going to lose weight" "You need to work on our body" and they pinch the loose fat on my arms or stomach.
I have also been told that I look pregnant and that I look like a butterball turkey.
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All the really hurtful comments have come from my immediate family- mainly my mum :ohwell:
"Are you pregnant?!" (nooopppe.... FU!)
"You need to lose weight"
"You don't need a second serving of mash potato"
"Your back is sooo thick!" (got this comment while getting a massage from my mum - she was trying to grab/pinch my back fat)
"Your car is too small for you" (I had a two door hatch back... it was perfectly fine hmmmm...)
"Will you fit?"
"You could do with losing 10kgs/22lbs" (the day before my wedding hmmmm... I was 80kgs/176lbs at the time - I was within the healthy weight range for someone 5 11" with a large frame)
The list goes on... mind you, all of these comments were 'received' when I was a teenager-early 20s. I guess my mum was trying to tell me to loose weight without sitting me down for an awkward chat... but now that I'm in my 30s I still get these comments from her and I live on the opposite side of the world from her now!
I recently had a really big fight with her and we ended up in tears for hours. I told her to NEVER mention my weight to me EVER AGAIN! It's been over six months and she hasn't uttered a peep about my weight. I'm also not telling her or anyone other than you guys and my husband that I'm loosing weight. It's none of their business. People will notice, but I'm not advertising it.
Thanks for the post. I feel better now LOL
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Yup! I'm really enjoying thisThis is like a therapy session lol. 0 -
Two college kids passing by, yelling out, "Gross! Go to the gym!" And then laughing hysterically.
My high school teacher, "Let me see. Who can I get to pull these magnets apart? How about you, Sharon? She is of Amazonian proportion." Everyone laughs. Then to another high school girl, "Penny, now you try. Since you are of small proportion."
My dad to a room full of patients in the waiting room at the dr. office, "Look at my daughter. 250 pounds. Boy, she's a healthy one, ain't she?" Mortified!
My sister, "How can you stand to be so fat?" Me, "How can you stand your face breaking out like that?"
My mother-in-law, "Can you move to the middle of the car dear? I'm afraid you are putting too much weight on one side of the car." I was 5' 10" and weighed 180 pounds! Give me a break!0 -
My sister would sing the Jell-O song as "J-E-N-N-A....it's alive!"
In grade school and middle school I was called whale and shamu
I used to have this grey puffy jacket I loved and when I wore it for the first time in public, the kids started calling me elephant....needless to say I quit wearing it and it sat in my closet for years!0 -
Some dude (who I rejected just prior) told me that I was built like a wrestler and I'd make a perfect bulls-eye because I'd be hard to miss.
He handled the rejection well.0 -
"I still had sex with you when you were fat"0
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Some dude (who I rejected just prior) told me that I was built like a wrestler and I'd make a perfect bulls-eye because I'd be hard to miss.
What an *kitten*!0 -
Great reading. I've had the dreaded "when are you due" a year post-baby. Urg."I still had sex with you when you were fat"
Gr. Jerk.
My ex didn't after I struggled to lose the weight I'd gained with fertility treatments and pregnancy (having our son). Instead he chose to have sex with (multiple) others.
After I lost the weight..."I'd have sex with you now".
This is the same person who, when I was doing weight workouts with videos at home, laughed at me and said "that will never do anything for you". Of course I had no other options...it's not like he was going to watch the baby for me and with a very small child, and a very demanding job, I had no other options. Way to be supportive, *kitten*.
My response "Too late. I'm already getting it on with someone else". By that point I'd already told him he had to leave.
The odd thing is his current girlfriend is larger than I ever was and has always been...so go figure. Hopefully he's learned a lesson and treats her like a queen. She's a perfectly lovely girl and most importantly great for my son.0 -
My Mom, when I was in high school: "I can tell your socks apart from your sister's because yours are all stretched out on the top."
Really, mom?!?!!?!?0 -
I used to ride a bike with a friend who was fit and thin, one day I asked him if he wanted to ride bikes with me, he said not today and I just asked why and he said, "I'm not the one who wants to lose weight."
Hurt me bad. I rode my bike alone that day, this was a guy I grew a close friendship with and possibly had feelings for, but I was too young to remember.0 -
My mom's favorite nickname for me, since I was about 8, is a sarcastic "Slim".
Kids in elementary school would follow me home (I walked home daily) just to criticize me for my weight.
I had a guy call me in 7th grade and pretend to be someone else, saying how sweet they thought I was and how much they liked me, only to call back later and laugh and ask if I ever believed that, and that I was too fat to date.
(For the last one, I starved myself to fit into a size 9 and my parents could only say how wonderful it was and never notice that there was an actual problem. They were also shocked when I finally got help for depression when I was 8 hours away from them and in college.)0 -
At school (college) this crazy looking chick told me on the last day of our class, that I was "Really pretty to be heavyset". I looked at her like she was crazy, and she says "That's a compliment!" I replied "Ok." Lord knows I wanted to go off, but I didn't because that's what she was trying to do. She wanted to piss me off and get a reaction from me. I noticed that she stared at me like she hated me in class a lot, but I didn't know her at all. Guess she was mad that a fatty was pretty, since we clearly can't be fat AND pretty simultaneously.
Then, when I use to ride the city bus to work, I was bothered by two teen boys. All I wanted to do was go home in peace, but I noticed one of the boys staring at me. So he tells his friend that he wants my number. The friend said "Bro, she's fat!" He replied, "But did you see her? She's BAD in the face!" (black dudes say females are "bad" when they find them attractive) Then his friend said, "Go ahead. It'll be funny if you get turned down by the fat b**ch!" So he actually sat by me WITH his rude *kitten* friend, and asked me if I had a man. I told him yes, that he was too young for me, and that I had heard their conversation about me being a fat b**ch that was "bad" in the face. I thanked the boy for the FACE compliment, (with sarcasm) but told the other one how rude he was. I also made sure he knew that I was very much aware of my weight, but that I'd refrain from being the B**CH he called me, since he was such a childish little boy. Yes, I told him about himself. They were also picking on and laughing at this slim woman, who cursed them out and threatened to call her son to the bus stop, but that's a different story. :laugh:
I could go on and on about the evil things that have been said about me. What I've gotten all my life, is apparently people think I'm pretty, but I'm just TOO FAT to be good enough. What good is the "pretty face" compliment, if you're body is apparently sooooo repulsive? People need to think before they speak. Smh :huh:0 -
I'm so greatful that I have nice family that never took the piss or called me names. How can so many mums say such hurtful stuff when it is likely their fault that there kids are over weight in the 1st place?1
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The ex girlfriend of the current guy I am sleeping with complained to him about how I was fat (her only complaint, and how it bothers her I will never know - I'm not overweight just a few kilograms to lose and tone) and then she would take photos of me around the campus and during class and send them to him with lovely captions of 'found your other roll'. Charming girl. ;-)0
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