Is there anyone NICE!?

12346

Replies

  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    Nice people don't like liars, I'm afraid.

    WOW. You do know this is a teenage girl you're speaking to, right?

    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.


    +1 I have a daughter her age. I see 19 year old's as children. Cut her some slack
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Anecdote here...

    About a year or two ago.. I posted on a thread and it had a picture of my abs. I have two moles on my right side (which I am self conscious about). A guy that I did not know made a mildly derogatory comment about them in an attempt at humor and it really (really) bothered me. I didn't say anything in response, but I nursed hurt / offense inside.

    Some people bashed him on the thread in response to his comment, and they took it WAY too personal, insulting him and his profile pics... which was wrong IMO...

    So I stood up for him in the thread - asked people to stop. Sent him a PM and we talked.
    He was being funny in his way, but because I was so insecure, I took it personally and overreacted.

    He has been on my friends list ever since, and is a really awesome, smart, inspiring, and funny guy.

    I'm so glad that I had that one "mean person" reply on my thread...

    ^this is basically how I won over all my friends :bigsmile:

    that and winks :wink:

    Actually... in your case, I think people were curious to see if you really ARE the person you portray yourself to be on the threads. :wink:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    :blushing: I'm pretty nice

    Yeah, me too.

    Believe me.. I know :wink:

    in my first 3 MFP PALS!
    :flowerforyou:
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    this isn't even a so-called "mean people" thread. [...]isn't it conceivable that she's not making a blanket assertion about ALL of the mean MFP people? i think so.
    So why is everyone so mean?

    Denno man. That's the troublesome thing about strong rhetoric and hyperbole. Makes it hard to tell what someone is saying. "Why is everyone so sensitive???"
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    :blushing: I'm pretty nice

    Yeah, me too.

    Believe me.. I know :wink:

    in my first 3 MFP PALS!
    :flowerforyou:

    :blows kiss from PA:
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.

    Sorry, I'm too old to have had that particular experience, and I take out my aggression in the weight room, here I'm just playing around.

    Congrats. Your sense of fun is tormenting a teenage girl. If you're too old to have had that experience, you're probably too old to be doing that too.

    Please point out where I've said anything unkind to the OP.
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
    Nice people don't like liars, I'm afraid.

    WOW. You do know this is a teenage girl you're speaking to, right?

    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.

    ^^Pretty sure the post you quoted was at the person with no profile picture that has been promoting a MLM scheme on here, not at the 18 year old OP....... Chill out.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Anecdote here...

    About a year or two ago.. I posted on a thread and it had a picture of my abs. I have two moles on my right side (which I am self conscious about). A guy that I did not know made a mildly derogatory comment about them in an attempt at humor and it really (really) bothered me. I didn't say anything in response, but I nursed hurt / offense inside.

    Some people bashed him on the thread in response to his comment, and they took it WAY too personal, insulting him and his profile pics... which was wrong IMO...

    So I stood up for him in the thread - asked people to stop. Sent him a PM and we talked.
    He was being funny in his way, but because I was so insecure, I took it personally and overreacted.

    He has been on my friends list ever since, and is a really awesome, smart, inspiring, and funny guy.

    I'm so glad that I had that one "mean person" reply on my thread...

    ^this is basically how I won over all my friends :bigsmile:

    that and winks :wink:

    Actually... in your case, I think people were curious to see if you really ARE the person you portray yourself to be on the threads. :wink:

    :laugh:

    Guess they gotta send a request to find out. :wink:
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Oh, LORD! Another mean people post! So far, this summer has been epic!
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    Nice people don't like liars, I'm afraid.

    WOW. You do know this is a teenage girl you're speaking to, right?

    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.

    ^^Pretty sure the post you quoted was at the person with no profile picture that has been promoting a MLM scheme on here, not at the 18 year old OP....... Chill out.

    Yup.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Nice people don't like liars, I'm afraid.

    WOW. You do know this is a teenage girl you're speaking to, right?

    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.


    +1 I have a daughter her age. I see 19 year old's as children. Cut her some slack

    OK... So I guess your opinion is the only one that matters?
  • Snip8241
    Snip8241 Posts: 767 Member
    I am sure that I have more than a handful of these "mean" people on my FL...
    They are probably some of the most genuine, sincere and motivational people in my life right now.

    I don't need anyone to sugar coat anything for me. If I try something out or have an idea to do something that may potentially not be safe for me, I EXPECT them to hold me accountable and to be direct with me.

    I'm not here to have my hand held and for sideline cheerleaders. I'm here to learn from people who have succeeded, have educated themselves and have no problem sharing their experiences.

    Don't confuse directness with meanness. There is a lot of interpretation that can be implied when typing out a message.
    This is sound advice....take it.
  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
    Despite the numerous responses saying you are wrong or something like not another mean people thread I agree that MFP has changed over the last few years and there are more people who give rude or overly sarcastic responses. I actually find this to be true of the internet in general. Read any article online then read the responses and you will see the same behavior. I think it's because people can remain anonymous online. At first it really upset me but I have learned to ignore most of the negative comments. If I think someone is going too far I either say something to them or I report them and move on. Getting angry at someone about their comments gives them too much power over how you feel. That being said there are tons of supportive good people on this sight. Good luck.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Okay, I would LOVE to say sorry for "painting everyone with one brush." I know there are very nice people on here, but sometimes you let the best get to you and just say everyone.

    It is a few select people, but I will NOT pay attention to the - people, because my focus isn't on the -, it's on the +!

    I am just saying though, how can this be a site about motivation and fitness, SOME people are attacking others, when all they want is THE SAME THING?!(Motivation & Support)

    By the way, what in the H made some of you think I am high maintenance? If high maintenance is getting a horrible sunburn, making an ugly duck face, and straightening my hair, then you caught me! No one wants to look their worst, especially in pictures. :\

    THANKS ALL OF THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE! AND TO ALL OF THE NEGATIVES! :) I hope y'all accept my apology :)

    You look very cute in your picture.
  • _Emma_Problema_
    _Emma_Problema_ Posts: 261 Member
    Nice people don't like liars, I'm afraid.

    WOW. You do know this is a teenage girl you're speaking to, right?

    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.

    ^^Pretty sure the post you quoted was at the person with no profile picture that has been promoting a MLM scheme on here, not at the 18 year old OP....... Chill out.

    Nope. Pretty certain the person has hundreds of posts to their name and I've seen them on the boards since I started on MFP.
  • Summer2k14
    Summer2k14 Posts: 31 Member
    Okay, I will just correct another thing.

    When I say MEAN, I don't mean "You can push yourself a little harder, you know?" and "You need to understand that being sexy isn't everything, being healthy is why we are all here."

    When I say MEAN, I do mean "You're so fat, you need to lose some pounds, piggy."
    OR
    "You're too whiney, my friend's aren't mean. Get over it. No one cares about this crap."

    So my "mean" was taken 200 different ways....

    I may be 18, but I have the mind and writing skills of Carrie Bradshaw. Smart. Friendly. :)))))


    Okay, thanks. :)
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I am going to say this and leave because threads like this make me so angry.

    Last night my husband had a blog post about struggles he is dealing with involving his incredibly ill sister. The people of this website rallied around him with PMs of support. Some offering kind words of encouragement, other's seeking information in donating to her fundraiser. We haven't met any of these people in our offline lives --- some of the people we don't even know online. They just wanted to be kind and help.

    Anyone who is here crying about mean people on this website or some moral decline of the membership can pretty much go pound salt as far as I am concerned. You don't like the responses you get -- evaluate the questions you asking an answer to. 9/10 people who are crying meanies just aren't hearing what they want to hear and that makes them angry, but it's followed up by zero self reflection.

    ^This x 100000000

    I agree. There are so many extremely supportive people on this website and I didn't see the above situation, but I have seen many like it, where the OP has a serious problem and people rally round and try to help them. I've seen that happen many times.

    There are genuinely mean people sometimes, they usually get called out on it by the majority here and usually end up being banned by the mods as well. But this is the internet, there will be mean people sometimes, and you have to just remember that you don't have to take anything they say seriously or personally,

    There are a lot of people who get frequently called mean, when they're being supportive and giving good advice, because it's not the advice the OP wants to hear. Really, I see that very often on this site.

    OP: When that happens, don't take it personally, because it's information intended to help and advise, it's not an attack and it's not directed personally either. Just take it at its face value - advice intended to help. If lots of people are saying the same thing, then you should really seriously consider what they're saying, even if it challenges the beliefs you currently have. This may actually be advice that could help you. If you consider it carefully and it's not, then you're not obliged to follow any of it... this is only an internet forum after all... even if all the advice is useless, you should still acknowledge the fact that the advice was given in good faith by well-meaning people, taking it that way is good for your own mental state (you're not constantly upset about people being mean) and also it'll help you get along with other people better.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    No. In fact I cannot be nice.
  • _Emma_Problema_
    _Emma_Problema_ Posts: 261 Member
    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.

    Sorry, I'm too old to have had that particular experience, and I take out my aggression in the weight room, here I'm just playing around.

    Congrats. Your sense of fun is tormenting a teenage girl. If you're too old to have had that experience, you're probably too old to be doing that too.

    Please point out where I've said anything unkind to the OP.

    I honestly didn't have the time to read through the complete thread to see all the things people have been saying to the OP. If you didn't say anything mean, why were you so defensive?
  • aprilmenzies1
    aprilmenzies1 Posts: 20 Member
    Everyone is starving and cranky! Eating at a calorie deficit sucks!

    ROFLOL true totally true :laugh:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Okay, I will just correct another thing.

    When I say MEAN, I don't mean "You can push yourself a little harder, you know?" and "You need to understand that being sexy isn't everything, being healthy is why we are all here."

    When I say MEAN, I do mean "You're so fat, you need to lose some pounds, piggy."
    OR
    "You're too whiney, my friend's aren't mean. Get over it. No one cares about this crap."

    So my "mean" was taken 200 different ways....

    I may be 18, but I have the mind and writing skills of Carrie Bradshaw. Smart. Friendly. :)))))


    Okay, thanks. :)

    the first comment you should hit the report post button and report it - that is genuinely mean and I've never seen those kinds of comments tolerated here.. users call people out for that and the last time I saw someone make a nasty comment like that about another user they were literally ripped to shreds until they deactivated.

    the second comment, well it depends on the circumstances whether it's mean.... in some cases a comment like that may be called for - in other cases it's not and it's harsh.... in any case, don't care so much about the opinions of strangers on the internet.
  • TIUClare
    TIUClare Posts: 62 Member
    I think I'm nice....
  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
    "I only want to get feedback that validates everything I'm doing, even if I'm doing something wrong or unsafe."

    -Every person who's ever posted a "mean people" thread

    I disagree. I agree that sometimes people misunderstand a response or take it too personally but that doesn't mean that there aren't posters who leave rude comments. Sometimes people just get tired of seeing rudeness and sarcasm. There are tons of nice people on here. There are people who try to give constructive criticism and are mistaken for being mean. Then there are people who are genuinely being mean. Saying you don't like the mean responses doesn't mean you want validation and sugar coated responses.
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
    Nice?

    There is no Nice, there is only Zuul!!!!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    No. In fact I cannot be nice.

    LIAR
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    Being an insecure teenager and BS-ing your age in order to use a calorie counting site hardly makes someone a liar. I'm sure there are plenty of "liars" on here who clicked that they were 18 when they looked at certain sites growing up. :wink:

    But seriously, get out your aggression somewhere else. FFS.

    Sorry, I'm too old to have had that particular experience, and I take out my aggression in the weight room, here I'm just playing around.

    Congrats. Your sense of fun is tormenting a teenage girl. If you're too old to have had that experience, you're probably too old to be doing that too.

    Please point out where I've said anything unkind to the OP.

    I honestly didn't have the time to read through the complete thread to see all the things people have been saying to the OP. If you didn't say anything mean, why were you so defensive?

    That you haven't read everything is apparent, that's why you're confusing who is making comments to whom. I can't speak for the person who you originally called out about the liar comment, but from what I could tell based on context it did not appear to be made about the OP, it WAS made right after a completely different person got called out because they were trying to claim they were being picked on for *mistakenly* promoting a BB product when they had in fact just been promoting it *again* on another thread today. And given that you mistakenly accused me of tormenting a teenager (I only do that in my classroom), I don't see how it's being defensive to ask that you keep your facts strait.
  • Excuse_less
    Excuse_less Posts: 874 Member
    @ Mirey

    She's not nice either...........obviously ;-)
  • Igotthatcake
    Igotthatcake Posts: 169 Member
    Yes there are people on here who think they know it all! If you need some nice support you can add me:) at the end of the day we can all relate because we are all on here for the same reason.
  • Summer2k14
    Summer2k14 Posts: 31 Member
    And I don't want anyone to stand behind me, but if they want to, it isn't because they are feeling sorry for me, it is because they understand as well that some people aren't so nice on here.

    I just wanted to vent on here, because if we all have the same goal, why are some people just being ruthless?

    Take it how you want it, I will say it how I said it.

    With or without negativity, I will still workout and stay focused on the positive, now with a few friendly buddies :)
    :blushing: :flowerforyou: :love: :smile:

    Thanks for everyone that is being supportive, and thank you for all of the people that didn't care about this thread, but posted anyways because they are negative didn't care that much, so they had to waste their time and show how much they just didn't care to everyone on MFP.
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