Make my roommate get a life!

kaaaaylee
kaaaaylee Posts: 398
in Chit-Chat
Hey this is totally not weight loss or fitness related.

I'm 24 and lived away at college and had an apartment prior to this one. My roommate just moved out of his parent's house and commuted to college. He doesn't have many friends, and almost no hobbies.

How can I nicely tell him to get a life so I can have the living room sometimes? When I bring friends over he assumes he should be there and involved. We are friends, but not to the point that he needs to always be around my friends and I.

Advice?
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Replies

  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    Just break up.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    He sounds like an introvert. As an introvert who also struggled through college, involve that poor guy in your activities and stop treating him like an outcast. Maybe get to know him better - you might find yourself with an additional friend.
  • RINat612
    RINat612 Posts: 251 Member
    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:
  • ksy1969
    ksy1969 Posts: 700 Member
    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:

    Yep!! Times have definitely changed. 20 years ago if a female needed a room mate they advertised for a female room mate. I know a lot of dads out there that would have a fit if they found their daughter had a male room mate. Even adult, 24 year old, daughter.
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    If u want alone time with your friends don't bring them back to your place. Or tell him before hand if he wouldn't mind making himself scarce for a few hours. If you go about it the right way it shouldn't be a problem
  • triciabh1
    triciabh1 Posts: 126 Member
    I'm thinking you're just going to have to confront him and tell him what you want. I'm an introvert also and if I was paying half the rent I would expect to be able to use the living room whenever I need. If you plan on having friends over just tell him in a friendly way that you need your private girl time and to see if he could give you the space for awhile.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    You need to find a new roommate. You two are not compatible.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:

    God only knows what they were up to in there, and furthermore Susan I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habitually smoked marijuana cigarettes..... reefers
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
    Tell him this....
    Roomate,

    Get a life so I can have the living room sometimes. When I bring friends over you assume you should be there and involved. We are friends, but not to the point that you needs to always be around my friends and I.

    Thank you for your understanding. Now whats for dinner?
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    If you don't want to share your friends or your living room with your roomate, then you should probably not have a roomate.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Oh, and just to be clear, you arent friends. You merely tolerate him as a bill payer.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    As an introvert I understand completely how he feels. Sounds like you two are not a good fit as roommates. I would normally advise you to just talk to him about a schedule that allows you each to use the space alone at different times, but in your case you just need a different roommate.
  • Tomm88
    Tomm88 Posts: 733 Member
    When i lived with my roommate last year she would have her friends over alot.... the thing is though sitting around with girls having girl time and talking girl stuff doesnt really seem like much of a fun evening for a dude:/ when my roommate had her friends over i was in the gym most of the time anyway and when i had guy freinds over she just stayed in her half of the house and let me have the living room. Problem solved.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    As an introvert I understand completely how he feels. Sounds like you two are not a good fit as roommates. I would normally advise you to just talk to him about a schedule that allows you each to use the space alone at different times, but in your case you just need a different roommate.

    A different roommate or to live alone. OP needs a close female friend to live with her.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    If you don't want to share your friends or your living room with your roomate, then you should probably not have a roomate.

    This...

    My roommate is a bit of an introvert and somewhat depressed. She spends most of her time in her room. We do talk and hang out sometimes, but I would never tell her she should get a life, or that she should maybe get out of the house. It's not my place.

    I understand that you sometimes want to use the living room too, but I'm gonna guess he's paying half the bills, he has as much right to the living room as you do. You can't make someone who is introverted into an extrovert.

    I second, just break up. Or in this case, find a new roommate.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    If you don't want to share your friends or your living room with your roomate, then you should probably not have a roomate.

    YEP!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    When i lived with my roommate last year she would have her friends over alot.... the thing is though sitting around with girls having girl time and talking girl stuff doesnt really seem like much of a fun evening for a dude:/ when my roommate had her friends over i was in the gym most of the time anyway and when i had guy freinds over she just stayed in her half of the house and let me have the living room. Problem solved.

    It is different for an introverted guy with few friends.
  • MeganAnne89
    MeganAnne89 Posts: 271 Member
    I'm thinking you're just going to have to confront him and tell him what you want. I'm an introvert also and if I was paying half the rent I would expect to be able to use the living room whenever I need. If you plan on having friends over just tell him in a friendly way that you need your private girl time and to see if he could give you the space for awhile.

    I agree with this.

    And to be honest, the subject line actually bothers me. Your roommate does have a life and he chooses to spend his time at home. What's so wrong with that? Just because he's probably not as outgoing as you are, that doesn't mean something is wrong with him. He's just a homebody.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    If u want alone time with your friends don't bring them back to your place.

    This.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    I hope your roommate finds a better roommate
  • baba_helly
    baba_helly Posts: 810 Member
    Um, I don't know why he would ever leave the house. It's scary out there and there are multiple seasons of game of thrones. You should be more supportive OP!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    She does not have the right to the livingroom 50% of the time. They both have the right 100% of the time. Just because she invites people over does not mean he has to corral himself in his bedroom.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    how's the rent split up between the 2 of you?
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Does he pay his rent?
  • Tomm88
    Tomm88 Posts: 733 Member
    Um, I don't know why he would ever leave the house. It's scary out there and there are multiple seasons of game of thrones. You should be more supportive OP!

    Game of thrones, the walking dead, sons of anarchy.... list goes on, plenty to keep him amused when your friends are round, just buy him a dvd player:p
  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
    How can I nicely tell him to get a life so I can have the living room sometimes? When I bring friends over he assumes he should be there and involved. We are friends, but not to the point that he needs to always be around my friends and I.

    Advice?

    Ahh roommates...

    So here's the thing that sucks...it's his living room too. He pays rent and it's a shared space. So you either put your big girl britches on and tell him "hey...I need you to leave on X day for a get together with my friends" or you just need to do it at someone else's place.

    Passive isn't the way to go. If being direct doesn't work...lease renewal time comes around think about moving.
  • MrsATrotta
    MrsATrotta Posts: 278 Member
    Implement GIRLS NIGHT once in a while and tell him you really need some female bonding time to talk about periods and ****... He should get the point. But you also have to look at it like this... If the dude is paying bills the place is kind of his too and he doesn't have to leave...
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:
    8.jpg
  • Coltsforlife
    Coltsforlife Posts: 124
    buy him a playstation
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    The roommate is male... and your a female...

    :huh:
    1zexfgk.gif

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