Who made you become overweight?

It was all MY doing, definitely. Growing up, we lived on a farm and had a huge garden. So, even though we were poor, there was always fresh vegetables, fruit, eggs, chicken, pork and beef for us to eat. Mom came from a big family that was very poor as well and never knew when her next meal would be and if there would be enough for everyone. Consequently, she always made sure we had enough food and desert. No matter what! We were initiated into the clean plate club as well because of the 'starving kids in Africa' concept. I was an extremely active child right through high school though, so I never packed on the pounds back then.

My weight problems started when I was pregnant with my first child. I bought into the whole idea of "you're eating for two now" that everyone was telling me. Having said that, I didn't have to listen, but I love food so I happily agreed and stuffed myself. Things just went downhill from there. Two more children, a desk job, no exercise, lots of fast food and regular soda, PLUS a husband who loves me no matter what size I am all contributed.

But ultimately, it all comes down to me. I'm the one that made me overweight AND the one who decided to do something about it after giving myself permission to eat whatever I wanted and not exercise much at all for 27 years.

As I troll through the responses, I think I might sense a thread.

Yes, I put the food in my mouth and yes there are other forces at work.

As I look at historical pictures, I can see that I have always been "big boned". My mother (and through her, 3 of my 4 sisters) have no clue about truly healthy eating and portion sizes. (The 4th one works hard at maintaining a healthy lifestyle because she has to deal with 3 diabetics in the house). I have had to teach myself what is truly healthy vs what is perceived to be healthy. I have had to work hard to be at the level that I am at - enduring their questions and (at some times) ridicule about my choices.


Do I blame any one of them? No way! But do I acknowledge that they had and continue to have an impact? Absolutely!! As a smart person once said to me: If you're working in a kitchen full of people and someone accidentally hits you with a knife, do you ignore it and carry on without doing anything about it? NO - you acknowledge it happened, you fix the problem and you find a solution so that it doesn't happen again.

Do I blame any one of them? No way! But do I acknowledge that they had and continue to have an impact? Absolutely!! As a smart person once said to me: If you're working in a kitchen full of people and someone accidentally hits you with a knife, do you ignore it and carry on without doing anything about it? NO - you acknowledge it happened, you fix the problem and you find a solution so that it doesn't happen again.

I like this.

I think 90% of the responses here are NOT blaming anyone else, but explaining some of the conditions and habits that led to their weight gain and often unhealthy lifestyles. That is certainly the case for me.

I got told off a load of people even family when i was younger that i was fat made me self conscious of myself (looking back at photos i wasnt anywhere near being "fat") it made me feel horrible, as time went on i started to get comfortable with my life and i didnt see me making anything of myself so i thought hey who do i have to impress, i slowly got stuck in a rut and the weight crept up on me. Even as a child i was brought up on big portions, we never really ate takeaways and always had home cooked meals but the amounts that i had was far to much, as i grew up i got into the habit of eating massive amounts, its taken 5 year to get to the size i am now. i have lost weight in the past but then fell off track and gained it all back and more. I hate looking in the mirror because of how i look.

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Seriously though, I have no one else to blame but myself. I stopped working out. I stopped making healthy choices.

I am responsible as an adult and not being lazy and learning about nutrition. But I blame my parents because they were very neglectful in my young years and were very unfair to my brothers even more so than me. They were narcissistic and had money and traveled a lot and did not have time for children or did not want to get involved in anything if we had problems which of course all kids do.
I married at 19 to an abusive man just like them (very wild) and parents were of no help,just turned their head. Felt like it was me for years and now know it was them and quit turning to food for comfort. Had a habit of turning to food when young, only way I knew to cope and bad habit took over in adult years when I was stressed and then it is definitely my responsibility to do something about it,cant control work situations and other stress stuff, I am learning to deal and not stuff my face.

I resent this question because it seems like someone particular should somehow be blamed, usually a parent. (Probably I am sensitive since I'm a mom, although my girl is of normal weight, thank you). Obviously, we are all responsible for allowing our body to grow when it shouldn't. As far as children...I suppose some parents feed their children irresponsibly. However, as a person who was obese from childhood in a family where I was the only one, it is very unfair to place the blame on my parents. My mom was incredibly supportive of my efforts to lose weight. I just was predisposed to it, I was anxious, I ate for company and stress relief. And all the worst options are so available.

Blame the culture, please. Blame the age of Cocoa Puffs, and popcorn with extra butter, and quadruple portion restaurant meals. I'm done with blaming someone. I'll take responsibility, but the ads and prevalent options sure increased my odds of failing at fitness.....:bigsmile:

I just quit paying attention when I was raising my kids. Also I used food as an answer to stress, frustration, boredom. I started to remind myself sort of as a mantra, When I realize I am doing this is repeat. "Food is not the answer". Sometimes it helps. Not always

I would've never become overweight had I refused anxiety medications. :grumble:

I obviously know that ultimately I put the food in my mouth. So obviously me

But do you think that your childhood homelife and parents contribute to you being overweight as you get older? Like when you see a fat child ? Or parents who aren't educated in what and how to cook?

Or maybe partners who eat badly? Or do you just think its all your fault for eating too much?

Just curious:)

When my sisters & I left home as teenagers we were all overweight and inactive.

As an adult I have to take responsibility for my nutritional education and habits.

That said, when I have tried to impart what I have learned to my (overweight and very inactive) mother, she will always have an excuse. We have literally spent hours discussing, agreeing and writing grocery lists for her to throw them to the wind as soon as she sets foot in the store.

My parent’s home is always full of highly processed, sugary food “because your father/sisters/niece likes it”. Despite said father & sisters clearly stating on numerous occasions they would rather not have it in the house and sister stating she doesn’t want her kids to have junk food.

The thing I find staggering about it all is that she has been a nurse for decades so you would think she knows better than anyone the health implications of being overweight & inactive.

I did sign her up to MFP only a month ago – it was……enlightening. Especially when it came to the logging. She was guessing at amounts and adding single servings to her log – so I had her prepare food how she usually would then weigh it to get a true reading.

When I showed her the ‘calories burned’ through exercise part of the log she also lied to herself – she logged sitting on a swiss ball for 30 mins (while eating quiche & drinking wine) as exercise! She logged babysitting a 4 year old who was watching tv as ‘walking carrying an infant’ for 2 hours.

I believe she stuck with it for a week and then abandoned it – claiming that she was ‘too busy’.

She is always telling me I am too thin (I'm really not, I am in the healthy weight range) and my sisters and I have had to ask her to stop bringing food over when she visits (it is not as if it is home baking, it was bags of chips, biscuits, cakes and bottles of wine).

She is a great mother in a lot of ways and taught me some great things, but some of her blind spots and issues with food are staggering. As is the extent she will make excuse and lie to herself. Those are traits I don't want to inherit.

I don't blame her for me being overweight as a teenager, she just didn't seem to know any better.