Negative Language About Thin People
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I often get: "I know you've lost weight, but no you're so thin it isn't beautiful anymore." Thanks.
I wonder how much *kitten* i would get from people if I said "Oh you've gained so much weight, it doesn't look beautiful anymore". But for underweight/lower BMI people it's somehow OK ...
What I learnt from MFP and losing weight is that it's not, under any circumstances, appropriate to comment on somebody's body. I used to make snide remarks when I was bigger, but I see it from such a different point of view now and hate how so much negativity is spread just because of people's looks.0 -
We had an exchange student a few years back who did that a lot. She was eastern European, tall, thin and beautiful, so you'd think she'd not be doing that crap but she was horrible. As long as the other girl was heavier than her she was perfectly ok but let a thinner girl walk by and I'd hear her mutter "*****".
And I noticed a long time ago that "skinny *****" doesn't necessarily refer to actual skinny women. It can mean anyone smaller than the one running her mouth. I had a woman who had to be pushing 400 pounds call me that once when I was 200. I didn't know whether to slap her or hug her, hah!0 -
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The thing is. We have to try to stop negative language in general.
Thin, overweight, straight, gay.
It really doesn't matter.
The way I see it the more you are concerned with others and what they do, the less energy you are putting into what YOU are doing with YOU.0 -
It comes from a place of insecurity. Whenever I hear negative talk like that, it makes me happy that I'm me and I don't have to deal with those terrible inner demons.
Edit for clarity: I mean from both sides - the fat and thin shaming. When someone makes fun of someone else's weight, it is because he or she is unhappy with him or herself.0 -
The thing is. We have to try to stop negative language in general.
Thin, overweight, straight, gay.
It really doesn't matter.
The way I see it the more you are concerned with others and what they do, the less energy you are putting into what YOU are doing with YOU.
Excellent point and so true!0 -
It is something I noticed as I started losing more weight and becoming fitter. It used to bother me, now I just sashay my sexy *kitten* right past them with a smirk.
^ This.0 -
I'm going to be real with you, ok. (Hopefully I'm not breaking any MFP rules) It's a lot of pressure for women who share the same race as myself, to lose their tummy, arms, back fat, and double chins, while keeping a plump bottom, large or average size breasts, and huge legs. That's all these rappers talk about, and that's what men are looking for as well. It's so bad, that when asked who is the more attractive woman, slimmer women are actually almost never chosen up against a thicker woman. I'm not saying all men my race are like this, but many are. It's to the point where women and men are bashing slimmer women, and saying they are badly built and encouraging bigger girls to stay that way, just so they don't lose their "thickness". They'll even ignore the presence of a few rolls and tummy fat. I've seen it a lot lately. Especially on Facebook. It's crazy to me.
I developed a little bit of hips after gaining weight. :laugh: I became curvier, and have had men say things to me about it. A TRAINER AT BALLY'S even suggested that I not workout too hard, because it would cause me to lose my curves! But guess what? With those so called curves, comes "extra padding" that I'm not necessarily pleased with. If I want to become fit and slim, and I walk around with a flat bottom, SO BE IT! My happiness and satisfaction with my OWN appearance, is my ONLY concern. They don't like, they don't have to look! I'll prance along happily in my tiny jeans! :smokin:
You just have to get to that point where you are confident in your skin at ANY size. People will always talk, and you can NOT let that bother you. Hold your head high with confidence. Let the haters hate. You can't change what others think or say about you. You can only work on changing how you view yourself!0 -
you're right, men make life hell for every size of woman indiscriminately. sorry bout it.It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.
If you ladies want to hate each other go right ahead, we know better than to try to stop you.
But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.
A lot of what you think of as "men" or "society" is really just those trash magazines you keep buying and supporting.0 -
Unfortunately women do this to each other the most. The best thing we can do is to work on acceptance of others, regardless of how they look.0
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*edited because it didn't quote like I wanted it to duh*0
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It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.
Oh what the hell ever. Few men are out there making life hell for big chicks. You're ridiculous.0 -
If the word "Skinny" is used in combination with almost any other word, it's a complement in my book. I say almost because I wouldn't want to be a Skinny Pedophile or a skinny rapist, but Skinny B*tch wouldn't bother me in the least.0
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edited because i have a good feeling this is going to turn into a sh*tstorm, and im wearing a white shirt0
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It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.
Oh what the hell ever. Few men are out there making life hell for big chicks. You're ridiculous.
Actually there's a whole subculture of men who perpetuate hate for women in general. It's just since it's not socially acceptable it's kept underground. I've been privvy to a few conversations myself with men who I thought were decent guys... got a little too comfortable around me and started showing their inner self. Hell, take a look at the website www.returnofkings.com or any PUA website.0 -
It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.
Oh what the hell ever. Few men are out there making life hell for big chicks. You're ridiculous.
Actually there's a whole subculture of men who perpetuate hate for women in general. It's just since it's not socially acceptable it's kept underground. I've been privvy to a few conversations myself with men who I thought were decent guys... got a little too comfortable around me and started showing their inner self. Hell, take a look at the website www.returnofkings.com or any PUA website.
How are these men specifically targeting larger women (which was your original point)?0 -
women are awful..
I feel its primally based..a woman that is deemed more attractive by other women is viewed as "competition"..wether she is or not.
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False. Women aren't awful. Our patriarchical society places women in a position where they are forced to rely on their appearance as their main source of power and self-esteem. Society creates the game in which women "compete". Also, I know many, many women who regardless of body size manage not to tear other women down. You were being a hateful person because you were being hateful, not because of some idea of competition that other women place on you.
Oh and the term "skinny b*tch" is something that has been perpetuated as a compliment actually. Have you not seen the book entitled "Skinny B*tch" that was written by thin women as a manifesto in how to use a vegan diet to become a powerful skinny person? B*tch is not always derrogatory. Also, when I've heard the term "skinny b*tch" it's always been about women who are both skinny and b*tches. She may have been talking about the women that you often find in yoga classes. You know the one that look at the heavier women as if they aren't as good as them and don't deserve to be in the class? I've seen it happen a few times. People can be mean regardless of gender or size.0 -
It goes both ways. If you're overweight, you're disgusting. If you're thin or underweight, you're disgusting. Men seem to focus on making life hell for bigger women (other women do too) and women focus on making life hell for smaller ones.
If you ladies want to hate each other go right ahead, we know better than to try to stop you.
But don't throw men under the bus. We're not making life hell for bigger women. We are celebrating them, encouraging them, laughing with them, dating them, and marrying them.
A lot of what you think of as "men" or "society" is really just those trash magazines you keep buying and supporting.
Hell...men are even singing songs about them!
Men are not to blame for the hate that women spread about themselves. If women really wanted to change the anything in regards to body image/body shaming, they would start with themselves first. I will also add, that in more recent years I have seen women lifting each other up far more than I did when I was younger.0
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