Really bummed there aren't more supporters for specifics!

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sammixbear
sammixbear Posts: 19
in Motivation and Support
I am fairly new and won't talk anyone's ear off but posted an intro and only one kind person responded. I don't know if maybe cause 157 lbs is not enough or what people think cause I was always 114-118 that people have some sort of issue. I am hoping others can blog and talk about being skinny all their life and now dealings with an unusual struggle. Whether you were overweight all your life or just now, it still hurts. Just wish others were as sensitive to this. It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty. Yet people tend to judge that oh well you've been skinny most of it you're lucky. No. Anyone who has dealt with this I'd please appreciate stories and how you worked thru medical issues life issues Etc to get back to your high school weight. Thank you I appreciate it :):):)
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Replies

  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
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    Good for you for wanting to stay healthy!
  • melodiarentsen
    melodiarentsen Posts: 20 Member
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    I think that there are a lot of people on this site who would love to carry your weight; however, I am only trying to lose ten pounds myself. I started at 14. If I lose more, great! My high school weight was a range of 125-145, so I am shooting for about 137 pounds as I am now 45-years-old, and 125 makes me look old.

    I gained weight rapidly from gall bladder surgery and prescribed medication. This weight has been a struggle to take off; my mother who has an eating disorder, barely eats anything and way under body weight, kind of warped my mind as a child. She had this weird habit of fixing gigantic meals for the family: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls, pies, etc. and then she would eat a grapefruit. She taught me that weight is connected to beauty and self-esteem. I don't know where she got it from.

    I know the pain and aggravation that comes from gaining weight. For me, it is a great fear that I will lose control.

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you want. I will be happy to support you. Sorry no one responded to you.
  • sammixbear
    sammixbear Posts: 19
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    Hi melo! Thanks I really appreciate the feedback and sorry for what you've endured as well. Interesting my mother has thyroid and is so thin I think she might break. Makes us huge dinners yet won't eat herself cause she's nauseous. I don't eat these dinner cause now I can't eat a banana without gaining a lb. my body just did a 180 on me. Hi I'm skinny eat what I want to I exercise daily eat way too well and I'm miserable. 3 lbs in a couple years for all this work?! I mean at 26 my metabolism shouldn't be that awful. Anyways I'm still going at it and appreciate people like you. Will add as a friend and hopefully all ends well :)
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
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    I kind of find the same thing here. So many people have so much weight to lies that those of us who do not tend to get lost in the shuffle. Maybe it is vanity, but most people care about how they look and, for a lot of us, weight is a big part of that. I don't care if you have 10, 50, or 100 pounds to lose. If you are unhappy, then you are unhappy. And I hate the term "vanity pounds"! But that is my rant, sorry.

    Friend me if you like. I'm twice your age, but ii get where you're coming from. Good luck!
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    I am fairly new and won't talk anyone's ear off but posted an intro and only one kind person responded. I don't know if maybe cause 157 lbs is not enough or what people think cause I was always 114-118 that people have some sort of issue. I am hoping others can blog and talk about being skinny all their life and now dealings with an unusual struggle. Whether you were overweight all your life or just now, it still hurts. Just wish others were as sensitive to this. It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty. Yet people tend to judge that oh well you've been skinny most of it you're lucky. No. Anyone who has dealt with this I'd please appreciate stories and how you worked thru medical issues life issues Etc to get back to your high school weight. Thank you I appreciate it :):):)

    :huh: Allow me to offer some explanation as to my personal lack of response to your posts, based on what I see in your post history:

    1. I didn't see your intro post. I don't live on this site and if you post really late at night or during the night in my time zone, chances are I'm not going to see your post unless it's bumped to the top. The boards move pretty fast and I don't tend to dig through multiple pages.

    But even if I had seen it, how much weight you want to lose wouldn't have mattered to me. It's actually kind of insulting that you think people aren't responding because we're all somehow jealous because you're not morbidly obese or that we have issues with formerly skinny people. Not everyone here came to lose massive amounts of weight, and some didn't come here to lose weight at all.

    2. You posted about Hashimoto's, and I don't have that nor do I know much about it. So what response was I supposed to give someone looking for other people with it or information? I know there are people her who have it and have been successful with weight loss, I'm sure they will respond when they get a chance to log in to the site. You can also search the groups section for one specific to the condition.

    3. Yes, I do know what it's like to be a healthy weight your whole life, then gain weight. Mine came from a difficult pregnancy that involved bed rest. Yes, it sucks. Would I make this statement?
    It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty.

    No, I would not, because I don't know what it is like to be overweight my whole life so I really can't comment on what that would be like. I understand that you are having a tough time, but that comment was incredibly insensitive.

    So yeah, I'm back to a healthy weight now and just a few pounds away from goal. I can wear all my pre-weight gain clothes. I lost the weight the same exact way as the people who were overweight all their lives or had much more to lose than I did lost their weight - through a calorie deficit. And I'm actually healthier and in better shape than I was in high school thanks to the knowledge and motivation from the people on this site.

    Good luck to you. I hope you find a way to manage your condition and are able to get back to a weight where you feel comfortable.
  • KristianFM
    KristianFM Posts: 1
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    Well said kgeyser.

    Have you thought people might not have rushed to support you because of your attitude?
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    I am fairly new and won't talk anyone's ear off but posted an intro and only one kind person responded. I don't know if maybe cause 157 lbs is not enough or what people think cause I was always 114-118 that people have some sort of issue. I am hoping others can blog and talk about being skinny all their life and now dealings with an unusual struggle. Whether you were overweight all your life or just now, it still hurts. Just wish others were as sensitive to this.:huh: It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty. Yet people tend to judge that oh well you've been skinny most of it you're lucky. No. Anyone who has dealt with this I'd please appreciate stories and how you worked thru medical issues life issues Etc to get back to your high school weight. Thank you I appreciate it :):):)

    :huh: Allow me to offer some explanation as to my personal lack of response to your posts, based on what I see in your post history:

    1. I didn't see your intro post. I don't live on this site and if you post really late at night or during the night in my time zone, chances are I'm not going to see your post unless it's bumped to the top. The boards move pretty fast and I don't tend to dig through multiple pages.

    But even if I had seen it, how much weight you want to lose wouldn't have mattered to me. It's actually kind of insulting that you think people aren't responding because we're all somehow jealous because you're not morbidly obese or that we have issues with formerly skinny people. Not everyone here came to lose massive amounts of weight, and some didn't come here to lose weight at all.

    2. You posted about Hashimoto's, and I don't have that nor do I know much about it. So what response was I supposed to give someone looking for other people with it or information? I know there are people her who have it and have been successful with weight loss, I'm sure they will respond when they get a chance to log in to the site. You can also search the groups section for one specific to the condition.

    3. Yes, I do know what it's like to be a healthy weight your whole life, then gain weight. Mine came from a difficult pregnancy that involved bed rest. Yes, it sucks. Would I make this statement?
    It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty.

    No, I would not, because I don't know what it is like to be overweight my whole life so I really can't comment on what that would be like. I understand that you are having a tough time, but that comment was incredibly insensitive.

    So yeah, I'm back to a healthy weight now and just a few pounds away from goal. I can wear all my pre-weight gain clothes. I lost the weight the same exact way as the people who were overweight all their lives or had much more to lose than I did lost their weight - through a calorie deficit. And I'm actually healthier and in better shape than I was in high school thanks to the knowledge and motivation from the people on this site.

    Good luck to you. I hope you find a way to manage your condition and are able to get back to a weight where you feel comfortable.
    very good points made! Sometimes a response time has everything to do with who's on the board at the time and how busy it is. There are thousands of posts going at any given time. Some of us might be in bed, working out, meal planning, living life OFF the computer... etc. Keep in mind, it's not all about you (meaning any one of us) and no I'm not jealous of you by any means, I have my own things and I keep busy working on them.

    Interesting first post btw... hopefully someone understands your decision to make a thread like this better than others might. I found it a bit insulting and insensitive myself.

    You might rethink posting this way on a weigh loss board, it may not gain you favor. This is a site for maintaining weight, loss or working to gain weight.
    Well said kgeyser.

    Have you thought people might not have rushed to support you because of your attitude?
  • sammixbear
    sammixbear Posts: 19
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    Mactaffy- would love to be friends thank you for understanding.

    Kgeyser: I will make this short but I am super disappointed in what you took from my post. To think I was saying that people are jealous of me for not being morbidly obese is very ignorant. Especially because I have friends that are of a certain size that I would NEVER think are jealous of me. I meant that sometimes people find that it's more important to lose at a certain weight (ie biggest loser l, extreme weight loss, both tv shows) that don t focus on people who want to be back to their original body. I am sorry if it came off that way at all.

    The fact you say I'm insensitive for making a comment, well no, my friends who weight 300+ had told me "they never knew different." Well I did know different so I was going off personal experience.

    I'm sorry for what you went through and that you are offended. That wasn't my intention. My intention was also not to have you dig through posts and live On this site. I appreciate your comment and opinion. I don't appreciate sarcasm and people acting like aholes because they have their own issues. I asked for advice but not to be judged. I was not judging anyone at all or thinking anyone was jealous which makes makes me upset.

    Thank you.
  • sammixbear
    sammixbear Posts: 19
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    Kristian and hearts please see above and you may understand.

    Ps I wrote this post in a time of desperation (as most people who need support do, not criticism)
    And people were responding to 509 other posts, I was reading through. Wasn't saying anyone was jealous. Never said that word so I wish people could either find a new word or actually accurately understand.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    I don't know. there are many people on here from many different life situations. I don't care if you been overweight your whole life or a short while or whatever. the point is we are overweight and/or out of shape. It isn't healthy. I was also skinny before I had my three boys but if I knew back then what I know now, pregnancy weight gain wouldn't be my excuse now. It is what it is. there are many people on here that are supportive. If someone isn't supportive just ignore that user. its on the left under their name and picture as an option. that is what I do but I don't have to do it often. losing weight is hard no matter if its one lb or 100 lbs. just keep at it.

    ps I do get the vibe the smaller I get that its not a big deal if you need seven more lbs or ten more lbs until you reach your goal etc...people do tend to come across that its not such a big deal as losing the big ammounts. I don't think they mean to but I have to admit, I think like that too sometimes. I know the struggle of how hard it is to lose weight at this size. It seems it just melted right off the bigger I was, now its total hard work and dedication. ITs all good. People mean well.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/search?utf8=✓&phrase=Hashimoto

    Here's a link to a number of groups that may interest your health concerns:

    ============================

    There are also a number of groups of members that are looking to lose 5-20 lbs., if you don't find a group that fits, you can create one as well.

    I'm not sure how much truth there is in other members not thinking it's equally difficult with a smaller amount of lbs. to lose. Losing weight is hard, simple, but hard, no matter how many lbs. you're looking to gain or lose.

    Wishing you nothing but the best:flowerforyou:
  • sammixbear
    sammixbear Posts: 19
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    Findingamy and hearts--- thank you-- both are super sweet whether you are in the same boat or not I appreciate the guidance and that's all I was really looking for, not to insult anyone :( I will take a look at the links and I wish you both the best . I agree l, losing weight is hard no matter what your size for sure! I meant that I had never been bigger than my usual so it was a shock that I can't even lose a lb. I'm super sorry if I made anybody feel bad - not my intention since I feel horrible myself. I just know my friends who weighed more than me had significant loses while I can't lose one. They (not me) had said it was easier to lose weight cause they never exercised ate healthy etc. Where as I did all these for over a year and no difference. I hope that makes a little more sense to others. I would never insult other people and hope everyone knows that! <3
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,067 Member
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    I don't appreciate sarcasm and people acting like aholes because they have their own issues. I asked for advice but not to be judged. I was not judging anyone at all or thinking anyone was jealous which makes makes me upset.

    Thank you.

    Gosh - you are very quick to call other users aholes OP.

    I don't think anyone was judging you at all - they were just trying to explain the nature of the site and how some of your words may not of come across that well.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
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    Findingamy and hearts--- thank you-- both are super sweet whether you are in the same boat or not I appreciate the guidance and that's all I was really looking for, not to insult anyone :( I will take a look at the links and I wish you both the best . I agree l, losing weight is hard no matter what your size for sure! I meant that I had never been bigger than my usual so it was a shock that I can't even lose a lb. I'm super sorry if I made anybody feel bad - not my intention since I feel horrible myself. I just know my friends who weighed more than me had significant loses while I can't lose one. They (not me) had said it was easier to lose weight cause they never exercised ate healthy etc. Where as I did all these for over a year and no difference. I hope that makes a little more sense to others. I would never insult other people and hope everyone knows that! <3

    yes. it makes sense. you have to eat below your maintenance calories to lose weight. The friends you mentioned most likey started to do so by watching their diets better and by going from sedentary to being more active. If you are already doing so, then it comes down to how many calories you are consuming each day. Keep a log and be completely accurate and honest with it. Be active and never try to starve yourself. Just eat real food under your maintence and the weight will come off. good luck. I am not commenting on the drama cuz its way too early in the am and my lazy butt should be out getting in my daily walk by now. Hehehee. I am a naughty girl. Just be patient with the loss. IT takes eating 3500 caloreis less than your maintenance to lose just one lb in a week.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    I am fairly new and won't talk anyone's ear off but posted an intro and only one kind person responded. I don't know if maybe cause 157 lbs is not enough or what people think cause I was always 114-118 that people have some sort of issue. I am hoping others can blog and talk about being skinny all their life and now dealings with an unusual struggle. Whether you were overweight all your life or just now, it still hurts. Just wish others were as sensitive to this. It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty. Yet people tend to judge that oh well you've been skinny most of it you're lucky. No. Anyone who has dealt with this I'd please appreciate stories and how you worked thru medical issues life issues Etc to get back to your high school weight. Thank you I appreciate it :):):)

    :huh: Allow me to offer some explanation as to my personal lack of response to your posts, based on what I see in your post history:

    1. I didn't see your intro post. I don't live on this site and if you post really late at night or during the night in my time zone, chances are I'm not going to see your post unless it's bumped to the top. The boards move pretty fast and I don't tend to dig through multiple pages.

    But even if I had seen it, how much weight you want to lose wouldn't have mattered to me. It's actually kind of insulting that you think people aren't responding because we're all somehow jealous because you're not morbidly obese or that we have issues with formerly skinny people. Not everyone here came to lose massive amounts of weight, and some didn't come here to lose weight at all.

    2. You posted about Hashimoto's, and I don't have that nor do I know much about it. So what response was I supposed to give someone looking for other people with it or information? I know there are people her who have it and have been successful with weight loss, I'm sure they will respond when they get a chance to log in to the site. You can also search the groups section for one specific to the condition.

    3. Yes, I do know what it's like to be a healthy weight your whole life, then gain weight. Mine came from a difficult pregnancy that involved bed rest. Yes, it sucks. Would I make this statement?
    It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honesty.

    No, I would not, because I don't know what it is like to be overweight my whole life so I really can't comment on what that would be like. I understand that you are having a tough time, but that comment was incredibly insensitive.

    So yeah, I'm back to a healthy weight now and just a few pounds away from goal. I can wear all my pre-weight gain clothes. I lost the weight the same exact way as the people who were overweight all their lives or had much more to lose than I did lost their weight - through a calorie deficit. And I'm actually healthier and in better shape than I was in high school thanks to the knowledge and motivation from the people on this site.

    Good luck to you. I hope you find a way to manage your condition and are able to get back to a weight where you feel comfortable.

    I'll have to agree. OP, your post is very 'us' and 'them'. I wouldn't take it personally...we're a bunch of internet strangers who don't know you well enough to judge you for the amount of weight you have to lose.

    Furthermore, I don't decide who I should group myself with by the amount of weight they have to lose, rather, with those I have something in common with or people who are entertaining.

    You want responses to your posts?....make them funny, make them real, give the reader something other than
    It's actually worse to have to have your body drastically change than deal with it your whole life honestly.

    I'm afraid such an odd remark will render you no sympathy around here. Also, while I'm at it, a little too much logic can be a bad thing too, have a sense of humor about yourself, life's too short & dieting & getting fit can be tiresome (for other people as well as yourself) if it's all you think about :wink:

    Hashimoto's...lots & lots of women on these boards are dealing with this & losing. I'm T2D,45 yrs old and dealing with the additional considerations of keeping that in check while trying to get down to a healthy weight for my size. Had been 100-112#'s at my adult weight before additional weight started piling on with the onset of IR.

    Eating a high carb/low fat diet did me no favors, but I had no idea that it could be the wrong diet for me, it only exacerbated my problem.

    With low carb, my blood sugars are in check & everything works the way it should....as in...since all things are equal now, it's easier to create a deficit & thus lose weight.

    Keep reading the boards, there's lots to learn. The longer I hang around here, the more I learn about myself and how to make things work for me...this is now your responsibility too :drinker:

    edited for additional typos: derp -_-
  • ajanmillie
    ajanmillie Posts: 241 Member
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    @sammixbear,

    I honestly think if you post really early or really late you will get very little replies. I have posted things during the daytime and have gotten a lot more replies. Most people on here I have added are amazing, from those who need to lose 100+ to those who need to lose that last ten pounds. I think whether or not you have a lot or a little, there are always people who will add you because they are on the same boat as you. There are also people on here who are in maintenance who just want to have continued support, so if you don't get something right away, sometimes posting again and mentioning it during peak times will get you a lot more replies. If you did mention a very specific disease that some people do not understand, I still think they will add you. Good luck, because we are all here for the same reason.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    also, I forgot to mention...there's a search function that will yield lots of results pertaining to Hashimoto's.
    You will need to do a bit of work, but due diligence will serve you well.
    Good luck.
  • sammixbear
    sammixbear Posts: 19
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    Again thank you for your remarks to the recent posters. It was not an odd remark if you read: my friends who have been overweight all their life really didn't mind not had any comments in MY instance. Yet it's harder when you've been skinny and randomly you're not?! So I asked my friend before I responded so I wasn't rude and she said I'm 285 and she said lowest was 260. All her life? Yes. Asked her if she would have been thin then went to 285 how she would feel: exact statement "probably not much. I was bigger so if I was 120 and went up to 260 I would've freaked out. But I didn't cause I was always around that size it wasn't a freak out." So thank you I took this from an actual convo. That my experience of this, so please don't be rude that your opinion doesn't matches theirs. I was speaking based off MY experience. Not yours. so I can't have a sense of humor about being unhappy and disgusted.
  • sammixbear
    sammixbear Posts: 19
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    Thank you ajanmlie and hookilau. I did do searches found one. But not same symptoms or even close to what I experience. I guess have to wait for the doctors to see what's wrong. Just trying keep make a point this poist never. Mentioned respond now or asked people to take time out of their lives? People just get angry for everything always I guess :/
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    Again thank you for your remarks to the recent posters. It was not an odd remark if you read: my friends who have been overweight all their life really didn't mind not had any comments in MY instance. Yet it's harder when you've been skinny and randomly you're not?! So I asked my friend before I responded so I wasn't rude and she said I'm 285 and she said lowest was 260. All her life? Yes. Asked her if she would have been thin then went to 285 how she would feel: exact statement "probably not much. I was bigger so if I was 120 and went up to 260 I would've freaked out. But I didn't cause I was always around that size it wasn't a freak out." So thank you I took this from an actual convo. That my experience of this, so please don't be rude that your opinion doesn't matches theirs. I was speaking based off MY experience. Not yours. so I can't have a sense of humor about being unhappy and disgusted.

    lack of puncutation & paragraph breaks makes your posts difficult to read...
    I get that you're defensive, but I'm trying to help you out here :laugh:

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