Still feel and look ugly, eve EFTER loosing weight.

I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.
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Replies

  • Amanda13108
    Amanda13108 Posts: 34 Member
    Don't be so down on yourself!
  • heartists
    heartists Posts: 9 Member
    Weight loss certainly doesn't bring happiness.. I lost over 100 lbs and still feel awful about myself.
    You look great, though. I hope you feel better.
  • I would buy some new clothes and get a new haircut. :D You lost weight, you deserve a treat!
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I would buy some new clothes and get a new haircut. :D You lost weight, you deserve a treat!

    That day will come, when I buy holiday clothes for my visit to Aus next February. At the moment I'm saving hard for my ticket, meaning no spending for me!
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
    Please seek therapy !
  • sarahbrown1015
    sarahbrown1015 Posts: 92 Member
    Depends on the day for me. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see the progress and feel like a rock star. Other days I feel like I look no different than I did 90 lbs ago. Self hate does not go away over night and it takes work. Consider getting some help with it. You are so young and life can feel long and crappy if you are in your head worrying about a problem that no longer exists! You look great!
  • Sweetheart, you are young and still growing! :) as your body catches up with where you want it to be, it will all become balanced! You really should give yourself a break! You actually look cute from the photos you have posted. :) and I'm not just saying that cause I'm a mom! lol!!!

    I teach and I've seen many young people grow up and they learn to shape themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. You have to balance your life outlook and give yourself time to "morph" into you! :)

    look at who you are and focus on what you like and don't focus on the negatives. Say if you run really fast, wear cool shoes. If you like hair, style it. My son likes to run fast so he makes sure his shoes are his favorite color and look cool! he's going to be 16.

    BTW your head is not that big nor is it our of proportion with your body. :)

    *some people have a pep-talk to themselves every day… I am strong! I am fantastic! I am smart! I am awesome!

    I can …

    you fill in the blank. :)
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Please seek therapy !

    Is that really necessary?
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    Please seek therapy !

    Is that really necessary?

    The post may have been blunt, but you do seem to have a very low body image and perhaps self esteem...if you can't see what we see when we look at your after photo something is off. And I certainly don't see what you describe yourself as. It may be that some professional therapy would benefit you.
  • runbyme
    runbyme Posts: 522 Member
    Oh folks! You make my heart hurt. Each one of us is a special wonderful creation. You have a desire to change your physical appearance which is to your credit but that person you are inside can't be changed with diet and exercise!

    Look in the mirror each day and say something positive about what you see. I know this sounds corny but replacing negative thoughts and notions about yourself will bring on a more positive outlook.

    You look amazing diggy! Great arms, amazing hair and the fortitude to lose 50#!! There are many people here on MFP that would love to have come as far as you have!

    When we have things we don't like about ourselves, our eyes immediately go to them. No one else even sees them because it isn't a problem to them. Big head??? Terrific hair! Strong arms. Strong legs that have carried you place to place even before losing weight. So many wonderful things about you I see in this picture.

    Keep up the good work and give yourself a positive pep talk each morning so that you can really enjoy this slimmer person you have become!

    Hugs!
  • travis182
    travis182 Posts: 17 Member
    I know you said you are saving for your trip but I too would suggest some new clothes even if you only get maybe one shirt. I always feel better about how I look when I lose weight and wear clothes that I like. Just a suggestion.
  • habeeba300
    habeeba300 Posts: 33 Member
    just had a quick look at your pic ,theres nothing wrong with you and like the others are telling you ,you are still young and have still some growing to do .neither are you ugly ok
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.
    Feelings are not good or bad, they just are. It's what you do with those feelings that matter. You are really putting yourself down. I know there is much more good about you, and I'd love to hear it.

    Ugly is in the perception. For the one person (you) who calls you ugly, there are many more who call you beautiful and handsome.

    Chin up and stop putting yourself down, and get a referral from your doctor to talk with a therapist. It seems to me you have some serious issues with body image.

    Edited to Add: by the way, I am way older than you, and if those two people in your profile photo are you, you were adorable before and you are adorable after. :smile:
  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
    Hopefully these will help some:
    il_570xN.308451344.jpg
    4456d1c62041902221986a0fba6dd6db.jpg
    5ad103a601e7567f49be4fb10049d6a9.jpg
    33cd4d96c0d23c37b774490949b4b065.jpg
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Please seek therapy !

    Is that really necessary?

    The post may have been blunt, but you do seem to have a very low body image and perhaps self esteem...if you can't see what we see when we look at your after photo something is off. And I certainly don't see what you describe yourself as. It may be that some professional therapy would benefit you.

    My mother seemed to think I had BDD which I thought was preposterous, because I never positively agreed with the sight of myself. It can take one comment or one flaw, one picture... to drive me to breaking point....sadly.
  • TiffieLand
    TiffieLand Posts: 159
    Please seek therapy !

    Is that really necessary?

    If you have the mean to, I think it's so wrong how herapy is thought of as for the crazy or damage but it could just for some let out with someone who actually know how the human mind works. It's nothing bad or shameful at all to be honest.
  • oksanatkachuk
    oksanatkachuk Posts: 149 Member
    Sweetheart, you are young and still growing! :) as your body catches up with where you want it to be, it will all become balanced! You really should give yourself a break! You actually look cute from the photos you have posted. :) and I'm not just saying that cause I'm a mom! lol!!!

    I teach and I've seen many young people grow up and they learn to shape themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. You have to balance your life outlook and give yourself time to "morph" into you! :)

    look at who you are and focus on what you like and don't focus on the negatives. Say if you run really fast, wear cool shoes. If you like hair, style it. My son likes to run fast so he makes sure his shoes are his favorite color and look cool! he's going to be 16.

    BTW your head is not that big nor is it our of proportion with your body. :)


    *some people have a pep-talk to themselves every day… I am strong! I am fantastic! I am smart! I am awesome!

    I can …

    you fill in the blank. :)

    Totally this
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Sweetheart, you are young and still growing! :) as your body catches up with where you want it to be, it will all become balanced! You really should give yourself a break! You actually look cute from the photos you have posted. :) and I'm not just saying that cause I'm a mom! lol!!!

    I teach and I've seen many young people grow up and they learn to shape themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. You have to balance your life outlook and give yourself time to "morph" into you! :)

    look at who you are and focus on what you like and don't focus on the negatives. Say if you run really fast, wear cool shoes. If you like hair, style it. My son likes to run fast so he makes sure his shoes are his favorite color and look cool! he's going to be 16.

    BTW your head is not that big nor is it our of proportion with your body. :)

    *some people have a pep-talk to themselves every day… I am strong! I am fantastic! I am smart! I am awesome!

    I can …

    you fill in the blank. :)

    Thank you so much for this.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Please seek therapy !

    Is that really necessary?

    If you have the mean to, I think it's so wrong how herapy is thought of as for the crazy or damage but it could just for some let out with someone who actually know how the human mind works. It's nothing bad or shameful at all to be honest.

    The last time I was referred to a therapist by my doctor, was because I was extremely depressed (the root cause of my dieting), and the guy genuinely thought I was cuckoo - nor did he ever take my seriously.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    You look cute to me! And I don't think your head looks too big :)

    When I was 18 I felt awkward and not pretty enough and kind of clueless. It can be a tough age!
    Give yourself credit for accomplishing as much as you have, and hang in there. You've already gotten some great advice - you'll figure it out!
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Oh folks! You make my heart hurt. Each one of us is a special wonderful creation. You have a desire to change your physical appearance which is to your credit but that person you are inside can't be changed with diet and exercise!

    Look in the mirror each day and say something positive about what you see. I know this sounds corny but replacing negative thoughts and notions about yourself will bring on a more positive outlook.

    You look amazing diggy! Great arms, amazing hair and the fortitude to lose 50#!! There are many people here on MFP that would love to have come as far as you have!

    When we have things we don't like about ourselves, our eyes immediately go to them. No one else even sees them because it isn't a problem to them. Big head??? Terrific hair! Strong arms. Strong legs that have carried you place to place even before losing weight. So many wonderful things about you I see in this picture.

    Keep up the good work and give yourself a positive pep talk each morning so that you can really enjoy this slimmer person you have become!

    Hugs!

    This honestly made me smile at my screen, I feel incredibly selfish now that people wish to be where I am. If I could switch places with those who need it more..I definitely would. Thank you for all the kind words, you are far too kind!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    You have to shop around for therapists. Not everyone is going to be a good for for you straight away. Same with pretty much everything in life (good doctors, car dealers, gym memberships...) you have to find the right fit. The last therapist you saw might not have worked for you, but don't let that discourage you.

    You are young. You don't deserve to be beating yourself up so early in your life. Set your head straight NOW and you'll be better able to cope with other (perceived) difficulties in your life much easier.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    Diggy, based on your photos you look fine.

    *Feeling* ugly is one of the hazards of being a teen, especially because you *were* fat and probably got harassed by other teens over it at some point, making you unusually self-conscious.

    There exists a problem called 'body dysmorphic disorder' but you probably don't have it--you're probably just suffering midnight tired-teenager angst.

    Take a look at some other lightly-built men. Elijah Wood, for example. He muscled up a little from his teenage (hobbit) years, but you seem to have similar body types. There's nothing wrong with that look or build.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.

    Ok, I know this might sound silly, but maybe you had the camera too close. It screws up perspective.
    http://bakerdh.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/face-distortion-is-not-due-to-lens-distortion/
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.
    Feelings are not good or bad, they just are. It's what you do with those feelings that matter. You are really putting yourself down. I know there is much more good about you, and I'd love to hear it.

    Ugly is in the perception. For the one person (you) who calls you ugly, there are many more who call you beautiful and handsome.

    Chin up and stop putting yourself down, and get a referral from your doctor to talk with a therapist. It seems to me you have some serious issues with body image.

    Edited to Add: by the way, I am way older than you, and if those two people in your profile photo are you, you were adorable before and you are adorable after. :smile:

    Heck, I've been like this for years. Only more recently has it been more clear that I am 'still ugly' and all. My flaws are becoming so bad right now, including my skin and hair.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    I just checked your pic, your head looks normal to me. You look like a normal young person. But if you are having continuing feelings like this, talking to someone about it isn't a bad idea. Because there's nothing wrong with seeking help or counseling to help teach you how to love yourself more. Hope it works out for you. You have your whole life ahead of you and much to look forward to, so shouldn't be sitting about in your pajamas all day :-)
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.

    Ok, I know this might sound silly, but maybe you had the camera too close. It screws up perspective.
    http://bakerdh.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/face-distortion-is-not-due-to-lens-distortion/

    It was just an iPhone 5 camera. I know they're probably not the *best* things to film on, but it gave me enough to think bad of myself! God forbid if it was on a PROFESSIONAL, and CLEAR camera...imagine the flaws then!!!!
  • FaylinaMeir
    FaylinaMeir Posts: 661 Member
    I happen to think you're very handsome, downright sexy. That being you might have some minor/moderate body dysmorphia and self esteem issues. Not at all uncommon if you were at one point a large person. My advice is if you can't work through it maybe consider getting a therapist or atleast a consultation because hating your body is a waste of precious time and too stressful.
  • Shimmysista
    Shimmysista Posts: 75 Member
    Your head looks fine to me!

    I think a few of us find flaws once we have lost the weight. We get this image of some super version of us that will appear once the weight is gone and we cant possibly match up to that.

    My issues personally are the sag and skin associated with large weight loss ( and yes i even relate to the big head thing too, where is I actually do have a large head lol most hats don't even fit me) And then being used to our head being smaller in relation to our body as it is now just to the sheer mass of us it seems more prominent after the loss.

    From what I can get from the gander at your after pic you are an attractive young man! You just need to find acceptance in yourself. No one is perfect, we all have that dreaded body part we WISH looked like someone elses. I guarantee there is at least one person who wishes they had a part like yours as well. You are working it young man! Now OWN it ! ( snaps in the air!)
  • BlondeButtercup127
    BlondeButtercup127 Posts: 750 Member
    I just checked your pic, your head looks normal to me. You look like a normal young person. But if you are having continuing feelings like this, talking to someone about it isn't a bad idea. Because there's nothing wrong with seeking help or counseling to help teach you how to love yourself more. Hope it works out for you. You have your whole life ahead of you and much to look forward to, so shouldn't be sitting about in your pajamas all day :-)

    This.
    You have done amazing work; losing the weight and getting healthy for your life ahead! & you look great! NO! You're head is not too big! Your loss has inspired me!!

    Be well & take care!! You have some great advice on here! :flowerforyou: