Still feel and look ugly, eve EFTER loosing weight.
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I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.
I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.
Ok, I know this might sound silly, but maybe you had the camera too close. It screws up perspective.
http://bakerdh.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/face-distortion-is-not-due-to-lens-distortion/
It was just an iPhone 5 camera. I know they're probably not the *best* things to film on, but it gave me enough to think bad of myself! God forbid if it was on a PROFESSIONAL, and CLEAR camera...imagine the flaws then!!!!
Actually, with a 'professional lens & clear camera' you'd get better results. An all purpose wide (fixed) angle lens (35 mm) will yield distorted results as compared to using a something like say a 60 mm lens.
It's been a number of years since my A1E photography days, but if I remembered the mm correctly, it was the ONLY lens I used for portraiture. Check out this link...
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110608191026AAskrSs0 -
Please take this with the good intentions that I'm sending it with. Sweetie, you are a handsome young man, just starting on an exciting stage of life. Your comments about yourself are more than just negative - I think that there is something like BDD going on, or some serious self-esteem issues that will drain the joy out of life if you don't deal with them. I have children close to your age, and if they said those types of things about themselves, I'd want to get some help for them. I really hope you can find a way to change your thoughts about yourself. You've worked hard and done well on your physical self - there's nothing wrong with working on emotional issues too. I wish you all the best!0
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In the same way that money doesn't buy happiness, weight loss doesn't always equal loving yourself. If you're unhappy with the way you look before losing weight, you probably won't be happy after either. The 'ugliness' you think you see in the mirror is all in your head - YOU are always your own worst enemy.
Something that helped me was realizing how little other people notice. Other people are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you or what you look like. You think you have a big head but you're probably the ONLY one who thinks that - no one else notices or cares. Seriously. Realizing that other people don't see the same things I do freed me a lot. Just strive to like yourself and forget the rest. No matter what you do, there will be people who think you're stunning and people who think your hideous. That's just how it goes.
As others have said, try focusing on the positive. You lost a lot of weight, so play up your new features if it makes you feel better. Buy some nice clothes that make you feel fabulous. Try a new hair style or color. Whatever it takes to make yourself happy.0 -
Please seek therapy !
Is that really necessary?
The post may have been blunt, but you do seem to have a very low body image and perhaps self esteem...if you can't see what we see when we look at your after photo something is off. And I certainly don't see what you describe yourself as. It may be that some professional therapy would benefit you.
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Go to Walmart, or whatever is similar near you, and people watch. You'll feel better about yourself in no time. Also, you look fine.0
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When I started, I needed a wheel barrow to carry around my belly; Now I wear medium clothes. in the mirror, I still see a lot of flab around my belly, but I do core exercises to hopefully tighten and flatten that area.I wear athletic tees when I go swimming to hide my shame, but don't really care what people think.0
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You are 18. This comic below might add some perspective
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I'm a serial body dieter. I constantly work towards improving how I look because of how I feel. You can work on both though through diet and exercise as well as other methods like counseling or regular socialization. You can change how you look, but make sure you are trying to be more positive on your journey. Compliment yourself everyday. I know it sounds corny, but if you keep telling yourself you are worthy than eventually you start feeling like you are.
One time I forced myself to smile at every one I came within eye contact of, and it was a good day.0 -
You are 18. This comic below might add some perspective
23 and still relevant. Of course my leg hair is thin and very blonde, so I don't shave very often xD0 -
I just checked your pic, your head looks normal to me. You look like a normal young person. But if you are having continuing feelings like this, talking to someone about it isn't a bad idea. Because there's nothing wrong with seeking help or counseling to help teach you how to love yourself more. Hope it works out for you. You have your whole life ahead of you and much to look forward to, so shouldn't be sitting about in your pajamas all day :-)
Thankyou for this!0 -
At some point in yout life someone wasn't honest with you and made you think you weren't handsome or good enough just as you are/were. They were wrong! You were cute even before the weight loss! You need to stop believeing the lie that some confused and thoughtless person fed you. There are many ways to work through that lie, one way is therapy but it's not the only way. Keep coming here and keep being honest. You're not saying anything that we (all humans) haven't felt before we will tell you the truth because we don't want you keep living a lie. Go on youtube and search for self esteem help or google self esteem help for dudes. You're not anywhere near ugly, I'm sorry you ever felt that!0
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Please seek therapy !
Is that really necessary?
The post may have been blunt, but you do seem to have a very low body image and perhaps self esteem...if you can't see what we see when we look at your after photo something is off. And I certainly don't see what you describe yourself as. It may be that some professional therapy would benefit you.
I have to agree with this, not just because of this single thread but others you have posted as well. It's great that you wanted to lose weight and be healthier, but based on what I have seen you seem to have developed a unhealthy relationship with food and a really bad self image. I wonder if you still see the old you in the mirror, like your mind hasn't caught up with the weight loss just yet. It wouldn't hurt to look into talking to someone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so.
Maybe it would help if you looked at the things you like about yourself and focus on that, both physical and personality wise. Every time you have a negative thought about yourself think of at least one thing that you do like about yourself. Better yet, write down the things that you do like about yourself and keep it on hand to read when you start feeling like this. It might sound a little cheesy, but if you focus on the negative all of the time it's not going to get you anywhere.0 -
I like big heads, and I think you look good
Plus, your head looks normal sized in the photo you posted, and it didn't look that big in your before photo either 0 -
I happen to think you're very handsome, downright sexy. That being you might have some minor/moderate body dysmorphia and self esteem issues. Not at all uncommon if you were at one point a large person. My advice is if you can't work through it maybe consider getting a therapist or atleast a consultation because hating your body is a waste of precious time and too stressful.
Oh GOSH. Far from it! The only people who ever compliment me are my family, and...well isn't that just respect? Family always make sure to tell you you 'look good' or whatever just to give you better self esteem...now I'm at the point where I know they're saying it to be 'kind' and make me feel better about myself.
I've never...NEVER been told I am attractive or handsome or 'sexy :noway: ' for that matter...which is primarily the reason I will NEVER take anybody seriously when it comes to complimenting me. I see all my friends getting the girls, all the compliments on social networking, all the girls staring at them in public...and then there's me looking like a grape with legs.
This picture speaks a thousand words.
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I'm a serial body dieter. I constantly work towards improving how I look because of how I feel. You can work on both though through diet and exercise as well as other methods like counseling or regular socialization. You can change how you look, but make sure you are trying to be more positive on your journey. Compliment yourself everyday. I know it sounds corny, but if you keep telling yourself you are worthy than eventually you start feeling like you are.
One time I forced myself to smile at every one I came within eye contact of, and it was a good day.
Worthy of what? i really don't get all this, as a cynic and a throwback i'm 50/50 if the op has issues or is after an ego boost, does this group hugging mentality even work? it seems the more we empathise the more needy society gets, the world is getting full of people who spend most of their time in their own bubble, there are more than 6 billion people on this planet, chances are most of them are worse off than us
The earth revolves around the sun, unfortunately some people think the world revolves around them0 -
Please seek therapy !
Is that really necessary?
The post may have been blunt, but you do seem to have a very low body image and perhaps self esteem...if you can't see what we see when we look at your after photo something is off. And I certainly don't see what you describe yourself as. It may be that some professional therapy would benefit you.
I have to agree with this, not just because of this single thread but others you have posted as well. It's great that you wanted to lose weight and be healthier, but based on what I have seen you seem to have developed a unhealthy relationship with food and a really bad self image. I wonder if you still see the old you in the mirror, like your mind hasn't caught up with the weight loss just yet. It wouldn't hurt to look into talking to someone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so.
Maybe it would help if you looked at the things you like about yourself and focus on that, both physical and personality wise. Every time you have a negative thought about yourself think of at least one thing that you do like about yourself. Better yet, write down the things that you do like about yourself and keep it on hand to read when you start feeling like this. It might sound a little cheesy, but if you focus on the negative all of the time it's not going to get you anywhere.
If I'm honest, I can't think of anything good about myself.
I used to actually be quite confident and photogenic, but you get *those* people who make you doubt yourself, and ever since then my life has been hell.0 -
I feel for you man, and totally empathise, said to someone else to me i look like Golum from the Lord Of The Rings as opposed to Jabba The Hutt i was before. Hard to change your inner psyche even with people telling you otherwise. Try to take the positives and shun out the negative thoughts.0
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I feel for you man, and totally empathise, said to someone else to me i look like Golum from the Lord Of The Rings as opposed to Jabba The Hutt i was before. Hard to change your inner psyche even with people telling you otherwise. Try to take the positives and shun out the negative thoughts.
Oh I've been called it all. Shrek, Gru, Sloth (from The Goonies)...the list is endless.0 -
Actually you are pretty cute. Don't let other people change your perception about yourself. They are not living your life, they are not paying your bills, they are doing nothing for you that makes you need their opinion. Also photos always adds to the pictures so you can not always based everything on that.
I do think you have a mild case of BDD and you may need to see someone so you can talk about why you feel the way you do, not someone who will just throw pills at you and then say you're cure. But you need to find out why you feel the way you do and why you see what you see. Once you can figure that part out you can begin to start working on healing yourself.0 -
When I started, I needed a wheel barrow to carry around my belly; Now I wear medium clothes. in the mirror, I still see a lot of flab around my belly, but I do core exercises to hopefully tighten and flatten that area.I wear athletic tees when I go swimming to hide my shame, but don't really care what people think.
It's been about 1 year since I've been swimming, and I finally went the other day and hated it. It felt like everybody was staring, so I summoned myself to an empty corner in the pool and bobbed around there for half an hour.0 -
I can't see your face well in your "after" picture. But from what I can see, you are HOT! Don't be so judging of yourself. I'm sure no one else notices the things you are so unhappy with. I too was very self conscience when I was your age, but then you learn that none of that really matters. Best wishes!!0
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Hopefully these will help some:
Absolutely agree with this. There is NOTHING wrong with your looks. You have lost a incredible amount of weight. So happy for you. Don't let this stop the new you. You have worked so hard for this, now go shine. Walk with your head up and get that attitude you can do anything. So proud of you... Hugs0 -
You are not ugly and you do not have a big head. You are a nice looking lad.0
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Dang double post0
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A lot of people enter weight loss expecting to suddenly be happy and self confident once the weight is gone. The problem is, low self esteem is rarely caused by weight gain. In fact, weight gain is often a result of low self esteem. Therefore, often, when someone loses weight... they have to face a bitter realization: It was not the weight causing their low self esteem. It sounds like this may be your case. It might help if you speak to someone about it. You really do not look as ugly as you feel you do. You're actually pretty attractive. Take care, I wish you all the best.0
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We are all our own worst critics. Others are not judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. Let yourself see and accept what others see in you. I think you look great... before and after.0
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I really don't think there is anything we can do to actually help, you have to find out why you feel like that picture you posted. But I fear that if you don't get help soon you are going to do more harm to yourself than good later on in your life. I would hate to see you become bulimic.0
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It's nice to feel comfortable in your own skin. Sorry you are struggling!
I think we've all been there to some degree. I'm quite picky about my own looks, even still. But when I was younger I was like so many others, terribly self-conscious. I didn't hold other people to the same crazy standards, though...just myself! I accepted people and did not care about "flaws."
Hope it helps you to understand that people just want to be loved and respected...that is what makes you look good in their eyes!
But definitely seeking to look as best as **you** can is a nice pursuit! Be glad you can pursue it, it's a luxury, really.
Try to get "out of yourself" by focusing on being kind and helping others....it will make you a TEN0 -
I feel for you man, and totally empathise, said to someone else to me i look like Golum from the Lord Of The Rings as opposed to Jabba The Hutt i was before. Hard to change your inner psyche even with people telling you otherwise. Try to take the positives and shun out the negative thoughts.
Oh I've been called it all. Shrek, Gru, Sloth (from The Goonies)...the list is endless.
Yup a lifetime i bad nicknames for me too and all my school life i was picked on physically and mentally every single day. SO i totally feel for you. my nicknames was Turtle in school cause i had a grey backpack similar to a turtle shell and i never fought back just hid in my shell. Well i did eventually fight back, took 10years of it to finally snap me tho.
and tho it's coming from a guy and no i'm not hitting on you lol. You certainly don't look ugly0 -
Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you a good friend? Do you have any special talents? Focus on those things.
It took me a very long time but I had to realize that I am not what people called me (and I've been called some pretty nasty things) and there are many wonderful things about me that have nothing to do with my looks. Once I started focusing on those things I started to realize what really matters. I still have days where I hate what I see in the mirror but it's a big improvement from where I was five years ago.
You are good looking, young and you have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't let the fear of what others may think stop you from enjoying it.0
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