Still feel and look ugly, eve EFTER loosing weight.

135

Replies

  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I like big heads, and I think you look good ;) Plus, your head looks normal sized in the photo you posted, and it didn't look that big in your before photo either

    8uuSG2W.png

    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though
  • CariJean64
    CariJean64 Posts: 297 Member
    No one is seeing what you see. We all see an attractive young man.

    You mentioned your skin (you are 18! It's bound to flare up now and then) and your hair. Hair can be cut, grown, or whatever. That's relatively easy to change, if you feel you need to.

    As for "getting the girl"... please don't feel like there's something wrong with you if you don't have a girlfriend right now! My husband didn't have his first date until he was 22 years old. He only had one girlfriend before me. He is an attractive, wonderful husband who is quite happy with me (even at my heaviest). I'm just trying to say that "getting the girl" only matters if it is the RIGHT girl. You have plenty of time.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I feel for you man, and totally empathise, said to someone else to me i look like Golum from the Lord Of The Rings as opposed to Jabba The Hutt i was before. Hard to change your inner psyche even with people telling you otherwise. Try to take the positives and shun out the negative thoughts.

    Oh I've been called it all. Shrek, Gru, Sloth (from The Goonies)...the list is endless.

    Yup a lifetime i bad nicknames for me too and all my school life i was picked on physically and mentally every single day. SO i totally feel for you. my nicknames was Turtle in school cause i had a grey backpack similar to a turtle shell and i never fought back just hid in my shell. Well i did eventually fight back, took 10years of it to finally snap me tho.

    and tho it's coming from a guy and no i'm not hitting on you lol. You certainly don't look ugly

    Haha, don't worry that wouldn't have crossed my mind. I'm sorry you were picked on, but I'm glad and happy to hear you stood up for yourself. I have been called hunchback (and still do) because of my stance. I used to dip my head forward because I felt like my weight was dragging me down. I still do it, just not as bad...though still enough for people to still call me it.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    I like big heads, and I think you look good ;) Plus, your head looks normal sized in the photo you posted, and it didn't look that big in your before photo either

    8uuSG2W.png

    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though
    It's all in your head, no pun intended lol. Also, you are wearing skinny jeans that are black, and the camera's aspect is going to create this look anyway. Seriously you are flipping out over nothing. Put a smile on that head:)
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you a good friend? Do you have any special talents? Focus on those things.

    It took me a very long time but I had to realize that I am not what people called me (and I've been called some pretty nasty things) and there are many wonderful things about me that have nothing to do with my looks. Once I started focusing on those things I started to realize what really matters. I still have days where I hate what I see in the mirror but it's a big improvement from where I was five years ago.

    You are good looking, young and you have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't let the fear of what others may think stop you from enjoying it.

    1. No
    2. No
    3. No - Because I don't have any...haha
    4. I sing, but my appearance puts me off the thought of succeeding. I feel like I don't look right to be singing.

    To think I wanted to start doing YouTube videos and covers, people would just sit in the comments abusing the way I look. It's all too predictable, and unfortunately it's how today's society works.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I like big heads, and I think you look good ;) Plus, your head looks normal sized in the photo you posted, and it didn't look that big in your before photo either

    8uuSG2W.png

    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though
    It's all in your head, no pun intended lol. Also, you are wearing skinny jeans that are black, and the camera's aspect is going to create this look anyway. Seriously you are flipping out over nothing. Put a smile on that head:)

    Hahaha, I used to think I looked good in this (and it was only taken about 3 weeks ago). And I am trying to smile! Trust me, I swear I was Satan's child..I hated smiling. Once I have my braces I'll be content with my teeth...then and only then may a proper smile appear.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you a good friend? Do you have any special talents? Focus on those things.

    It took me a very long time but I had to realize that I am not what people called me (and I've been called some pretty nasty things) and there are many wonderful things about me that have nothing to do with my looks. Once I started focusing on those things I started to realize what really matters. I still have days where I hate what I see in the mirror but it's a big improvement from where I was five years ago.

    You are good looking, young and you have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't let the fear of what others may think stop you from enjoying it.

    1. No
    2. No
    3. No - Because I don't have any...haha
    4. I sing, but my appearance puts me off the thought of succeeding. I feel like I don't look right to be singing.

    To think I wanted to start doing YouTube videos and covers, people would just sit in the comments abusing the way I look. It's all too predictable, and unfortunately it's how today's society works.

    Well you seem like a nice friendly guy, at least from what I see on here. The way your posts are worded come across to me that you are pretty smart and mature. I really hope that one day you can see what others see.
  • ZaCkOX
    ZaCkOX Posts: 115
    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.

    Take the air out of your head and you'll look fine... haha just kidding. Dude, you have nothing to worry about. Take up weight lifting and when you get muscles, you'll be in the mirror all day. Want to look better? Do something about it.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    I like big heads, and I think you look good ;) Plus, your head looks normal sized in the photo you posted, and it didn't look that big in your before photo either

    8uuSG2W.png

    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though

    For one, that photo was taken from a slight angle, which tends to make legs look shorter anyway (I speak, having taken such shots myself).
    For two, your head looks perfectly normal to me, and if you don't mind my saying, it sounds as if you are hyper focusing on the minutae of your appearance. I do not know if you have any diagnosis or suspicion of OCD or Dysmorphia, but it does sound as if you are potentially suffering from one or other. In my past, I would hyper focus on certain parts of my body, getting really distressed, thinking they were deformed/abnormal etc... I suffer OCD. It was probably some misdirected way of dealing with stress.

    Regardless of whether you seek some sort of therapy, I can assure you that you look perfectly normal to me.
    There is nothing wrong with you, in terms of your appearance.
    Focus on what is inside, as cliched as that might sound, as it is what is inside that will carry you the furthest in life.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you a good friend? Do you have any special talents? Focus on those things.

    It took me a very long time but I had to realize that I am not what people called me (and I've been called some pretty nasty things) and there are many wonderful things about me that have nothing to do with my looks. Once I started focusing on those things I started to realize what really matters. I still have days where I hate what I see in the mirror but it's a big improvement from where I was five years ago.

    You are good looking, young and you have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't let the fear of what others may think stop you from enjoying it.

    1. No
    2. No
    3. No - Because I don't have any...haha
    4. I sing, but my appearance puts me off the thought of succeeding. I feel like I don't look right to be singing.

    To think I wanted to start doing YouTube videos and covers, people would just sit in the comments abusing the way I look. It's all too predictable, and unfortunately it's how today's society works.

    Well you seem like a nice friendly guy, at least from what I see on here. The way your posts are worded come across to me that you are pretty smart and mature. I really hope that one day you can see what others see.

    Thanks for that. I like to think my posts are well put together and come across as mature - at least that's one thing to be proud of.
  • I'm in the same boat as you. I've lost 120lbs and I look in the mirror everyday and hate what I see. What I find helps is doing things to boost your confidence- rediscovering a talent, volunteering, picking up a new hobby. Something that will help you feel better about yourself. I think you look great for the record.
    Keep your head up!
    If you're ever down you can always message me.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Well I didn't like my braces either (I had just a few years ago!). I hated smiling with braces, there's a pic in my profile with them on...hard to see probably.

    You're seriously freaking out over nothing on this head thing.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I still feel really ugly having lost weight. Looking at myself in the mirror I still see myself as I did before, if not worse. It's like weight loss has brought the worse out of me.

    I have a large head, and it's not actually generic. My head generally got bigger as I put on the weight as everything puffed out- and it was definitely my most 'to look forward to' place to loose weight. I just 'tried' to do a sample video for a YouTube cover - and having reviewed it I genuinely felt ill at the sight of myself - my head looked HUGE and completely out of proportion to my body.. I admit, it's nearly midnight, I haven't been out all day so I never got ready, and I'm dressed in my PJ's....maybe this adds to it. And gosh, not the mention the lighting which brought out ALL of my flaws.
    I know exactly how you feel, OP!
    I would also appreciate any tips that other posters have. I will say that I have confided in family and friends, and was thinking about revisiting my college "health" counselor, who was a wealth of weight loss information.

    I also came across a few tips that have given me so much strength:
    1. If you believe in God, remember that He made you and thinks you're perfect, no matter what. Talk to Him about it, and see what His Word says about your worth.
    2. Practice mindfulness meditation, where you non-judgmentally notice and accept what goes on in and around you.
    3. As someone else said, helping others helps you forget about your own problems/put things into perspective.

    Again, I know EXACTLY what you're saying and would be glad to help/pray for you, and a FR is coming. Hope I helped! :flowerforyou:
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I like big heads, and I think you look good ;) Plus, your head looks normal sized in the photo you posted, and it didn't look that big in your before photo either

    8uuSG2W.png

    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though

    For one, that photo was taken from a slight angle, which tends to make legs look shorter anyway (I speak, having taken such shots myself).
    For two, your head looks perfectly normal to me, and if you don't mind my saying, it sounds as if you are hyper focusing on the minutae of your appearance. I do not know if you have any diagnosis or suspicion of OCD or Dysmorphia, but it does sound as if you are potentially suffering from one or other. In my past, I would hyper focus on certain parts of my body, getting really distressed, thinking they were deformed/abnormal etc... I suffer OCD. It was probably some misdirected way of dealing with stress.

    Regardless of whether you seek some sort of therapy, I can assure you that you look perfectly normal to me.
    There is nothing wrong with you, in terms of your appearance.
    Focus on what is inside, as cliched as that might sound, as it is what is inside that will carry you the furthest in life.

    Maybe this is a better angle. I don't see how nobody can see it, I mean personally it's one of my biggest flaws.

    vLO484v.png
  • Looks are not the most important thing in life ,
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Looks are not the most important thing in life ,

    Unfortunately in today's society they are.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though

    You look fine. I seriously don't see the problem here. Looking at this picture, I would find it EXTREMELY hard to believe that you were ever overweight in the first place!

    You look like my husband did when he was 18 - and believe me, my husband was SERIOUSLY popular with women at 18. He couldn't get them to stop calling him!

    As others have said - you are worrying over nothing. You are a very nice-looking guy. If I weren't 42 and married and.... oh, wait, yeah. I am. :flowerforyou:

    Self-hatred sucks. I know. Going through it myself. It'll take time to believe that you have worth, but you do. Never think otherwise.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    I'm in the same boat as you. I've lost 120lbs and I look in the mirror everyday and hate what I see. What I find helps is doing things to boost your confidence- rediscovering a talent, volunteering, picking up a new hobby. Something that will help you feel better about yourself. I think you look great for the record.
    Keep your head up!
    If you're ever down you can always message me.

    I for one think you look exceptional for your loss. As stated I feel singing is the only thing I'm good at, but even still it's something where appearance is judged greatly.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Looks are not the most important thing in life ,

    Unfortunately in today's society they are.
    This is too vague.
    It is also shallow!
    I don't care how good looking someone is, if they do a terrible job at my surgery, or checking my groceries, or answering my customer service call, or drawing up plans for my house, or............
  • paulperryman
    paulperryman Posts: 839 Member
    in your mind it is. Perception is relative to the perciever, not necessarily everyone else
  • jtotheno
    jtotheno Posts: 123 Member
    My goodness! You are hot.. seriously.. I bet the girls are all secretly crushing on you.. tall, dark and handsome. You would totally be my teenage crush!! (12 years ago! :tongue: ) I know how hard it can be to overcome ****ty feelings though, as someone who's battled depression and anxiety my entire life. I hope you can find a way to feel better about yourself, because trust me, only you think you look so terrible. You're incredibly good looking (before AND after) and you probably have a beautiful soul as well. :heart:
  • paulperryman
    paulperryman Posts: 839 Member
    hey i think i'm a SIngStar too :) well SingStar sais i am hahah Singing is a great way to melt away negative thoughts and it's actually cardio too.

    i had my heart rate monitor on one time and my heart rate went up to 120 bpm when i was singing as opposed to 70-80 at rest :)
    so belt out a few tunes and there's a light cardio workout lol
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    Maybe this picture can show the true aspect of my head, considering my phone is over my face in the 'after' one. Still huge, in my opinion. Thanks for the compliment, though

    You look fine. I seriously don't see the problem here. Looking at this picture, I would find it EXTREMELY hard to believe that you were ever overweight in the first place!

    You look like my husband did when he was 18 - and believe me, my husband was SERIOUSLY popular with women at 18. He couldn't get them to stop calling him!

    As others have said - you are worrying over nothing. You are a very nice-looking guy. If I weren't 42 and married and.... oh, wait, yeah. I am. :flowerforyou:

    Self-hatred sucks. I know. Going through it myself. It'll take time to believe that you have worth, but you do. Never think otherwise.

    Tell him I need some advice, because it sure isn't working for me! Oh I sure was overweight, and I sure was UGLY too. If I had the courage I would show you a picture of me from a few years ago, THEN you can tell me I'm ugly because boy I can see why I was called fat and ugly in the first place. You're only saying that because I'm here, but I appreciate it! I hope you can pull through, it really is hard.
  • SlyMouse
    SlyMouse Posts: 8 Member
    I think you're cute. !! Really, I looked at all your pics, and you are cute... Now, I'm old enough to be your grandmother or great-grandmother. But you look great.
  • taylormoooon
    taylormoooon Posts: 130 Member
    Sweetheart, you are young and still growing! :) as your body catches up with where you want it to be, it will all become balanced! You really should give yourself a break! You actually look cute from the photos you have posted. :) and I'm not just saying that cause I'm a mom! lol!!!

    I teach and I've seen many young people grow up and they learn to shape themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. You have to balance your life outlook and give yourself time to "morph" into you! :)

    look at who you are and focus on what you like and don't focus on the negatives. Say if you run really fast, wear cool shoes. If you like hair, style it. My son likes to run fast so he makes sure his shoes are his favorite color and look cool! he's going to be 16.

    BTW your head is not that big nor is it our of proportion with your body. :)

    *some people have a pep-talk to themselves every day… I am strong! I am fantastic! I am smart! I am awesome!

    I can …

    you fill in the blank. :)

    So beautifully said. I am only 23 and my morph into the real me is only starting! When I was 18 I had a lot of confidence problems about my self image but she's right in telling you that you must focus on the positive! Being negative will only hold you back from reaching your goals. I love that I love myself now and once you realize that you too are great and you are the only version of your self on this planet, that is when you'll notice yourself begin to flourish. And if you're worried about your head as you say, a lot is going to start to change as you grow into the man you'll become and in my opinion you look totally fine!
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    hey i think i'm a SIngStar too :) well SingStar sais i am hahah Singing is a great way to melt away negative thoughts and it's actually cardio too.

    i had my heart rate monitor on one time and my heart rate went up to 120 bpm when i was singing as opposed to 70-80 at rest :)
    so belt out a few tunes and there's a light cardio workout lol

    Hahaha, I normally put on my own little concerts when exercising downstairs in my cellar. Jumping around like I'm on a stage, and I sure end up breaking a sweat.
  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
    You look fine, and your head looks fine too, you are a handsome dude.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
    If I had the courage I would show you a picture of me from a few years ago

    Go for it. Because I'd tell you the same thing. :tongue: I'm not "just saying" what I'm saying to make you feel better or to placate you, I promise - because there are others here that are telling you the exact same thing (note the "I'd be crushing on you" post from earlier).

    Your self perception is negative, and it's understandable, because you've spent the last X amount of months or years believing what other people may have told you about yourself (and especially in a negative light). I've been there. I was once 343 pounds at 5'3" and if you don't think THOSE stats got some seriously nasty comments.... hell, I STILL get them 113 pounds later. I know. We all know here about negative self-perception.

    You have to learn to love yourself before anything or anyone else can. Otherwise you'll always believe that your head is too big or your thighs are too fat or you're scum of the earth, or whatever those "mind tapes" play in your brain (as my own therapist has said).

    There is always, always, ALWAYS going to be someone or something out there that "looks/acts/is better" than you are. So love what you've got - it's what makes you, you. And uniqueness rocks.
  • jjdiggy
    jjdiggy Posts: 172
    If I had the courage I would show you a picture of me from a few years ago

    Go for it. Because I'd tell you the same thing. :tongue: I'm not "just saying" what I'm saying to make you feel better or to placate you, I promise - because there are others here that are telling you the exact same thing (note the "I'd be crushing on you" post from earlier).

    Your self perception is negative, and it's understandable, because you've spent the last X amount of months or years believing what other people may have told you about yourself (and especially in a negative light). I've been there. I was once 343 pounds at 5'3" and if you don't think THOSE stats got some seriously nasty comments.... hell, I STILL get them 113 pounds later. I know. We all know here about negative self-perception.

    You have to learn to love yourself before anything or anyone else can. Otherwise you'll always believe that your head is too big or your thighs are too fat or you're scum of the earth, or whatever those "mind tapes" play in your brain (as my own therapist has said).

    There is always, always, ALWAYS going to be someone or something out there that "looks/acts/is better" than you are. So love what you've got - it's what makes you, you. And uniqueness rocks.

    I can guarantee you wouldn't! And if you did, it'd just to be kind. I'm sorry you were called such things, but you're 113lbs down, hell, I'd love to be 113lbs down! I'm not sure when/if I will ever think good of myself.
  • popslice
    popslice Posts: 22
    You are 18. This comic below might add some perspective

    ugrjZ4A.jpg

    Ha! This is me exactly, but not until I hit 30.