Still feel and look ugly, eve EFTER loosing weight.

I looked at your pic and my first reaction was shock, because I thought you looked quite handsome. My 19 year old self would have been very attracted to you (awesome hair btw!)

Self confidence is very attractive to women.

My heart breaks for you because I know how you feel, I felt the same way you did. My friends would get hit on, but I didn't. I assumed it was because my cheeks were to chubby, my hair wasn't perfect, my chin was too small etc. Yet, I would see totally hot guys date women who were often mean, overweight, didn't dress nice, wear make up etc. I just thought that meant that I must have been that horrendous. When my parents would get mad at me growing up, they would tell me how stupid and ugly I was. I knew they were wrong, but those words would fill my head whenever there was a male nearby.

Then, like others have suggested, I did get help. I worked through those self esteem issues, I built up that self confidence. Can you guess what happened after I worked on my confidence? I started to get asked out on dates and have boyfriends. So please, don't wait as long as I did. Work on how your self image, not only so you can get a girlfriend, but also so you don't hold back in all other areas of life. Best of luck to you.

I'm flattered, though nobody would ever be attracted to me haha, seems too unrealistic. I'm sorry you were treated in such ways and I'm glad you found a solution. If I'm honest I'm not even particularly bothered about a relationship, because I've learned to accept that how I look isn't up to certain peoples standards...therefore I see no reason to bother with one. I'm at that point where I walk past people (of both genders) and feel intimidated for how I look...for instance I get anxious around women because I'm not up to their 'expectations' and around guys because they generally are much better looking than me and (to me, all guys are competition)...so I'm like 'well, why do I bother'.

I swear, I'll probably be single for the rest of my life at this rate...yay me.

You are very articulate and you seem both responsible and kind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your looks either!

As for therapy, well, I think that people, who know they need it yet don't go there because of fear or whatever, are kind of sad, whereas those, who grab the bull by the horns, take their health seriously, and face their troubles are super awesome. There is still stigma around mental health (kept alive by small-minded people), but from personal experience I can say it is great to discuss with someone who is there only for you, acting with your best interest in mind. If they don't do that, change therapists. Opening up about personal stuff is very hard and you want to do that only to someone you trust and respect.

Would I not be deemed stupid for consulting a therapist for my own lack of self confidence? I mean it's hardly an illness, more so a self perspective thing.

You are very articulate and you seem both responsible and kind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your looks either!

As for therapy, well, I think that people, who know they need it yet don't go there because of fear or whatever, are kind of sad, whereas those, who grab the bull by the horns, take their health seriously, and face their troubles are super awesome. There is still stigma around mental health (kept alive by small-minded people), but from personal experience I can say it is great to discuss with someone who is there only for you, acting with your best interest in mind. If they don't do that, change therapists. Opening up about personal stuff is very hard and you want to do that only to someone you trust and respect.

Would I not be deemed stupid for consulting a therapist for my own lack of self confidence? I mean it's hardly an illness, more so a self perspective thing.

Nooo not at all stupid!!! If something is an issue for you and you're in a knot of a sort, they help you sort it out. They ask questions and make suggestions, but you are the one in charge, doing the work.

The last thing you should think is that you're stupid because of your lack of whatever or excess of whatever; those things are just what they are and you work on either increasing or decreasing something, whatever is appropriate.

I think it is a very mature thing to do to seek help when you don't have all the answers. The same way as you don't pull your own teeth or perform surgery on your broken bone, you might need a new perspective from a psychologist.

I never thought that I would need a consultation with a therapist about this, because I never considered it serious enough. I thought it was something everybody went though when dieting.

I know I can relate to this...

Growing up, I was the "fat friend", "fat sister", "fat daughter", etc. who would get teased in school and my mother would try to console me by telling me I'm "big-boned" (like that ever helped). My friends always got the cute guys and sisters would too. However, the summer before senior year of high school, I lost a good amount of weight (40-50 pounds) and things started to get better. The bad part is, I still felt ugly and fat. I was closer to my friends' sizes (off by like 1-2 pant sizes for most) and I felt like I was still the fat friend. Guys were looking at me, asking me out, etc., but I couldn't shake it.

I've gained a little back now that I'm trying to lose, but I will tell you this much...DON'T feel ugly. You are adorable! Also, even though I've gained some back, I'm still getting looks/compliments from guys and my bf is seriously cuter to me than the guys I used to want to date. He calls me beautiful every single day and treats me how I should be treated. If a girl makes you feel ugly and looks down on you, then she's just simply not the one for you. Make your video and focus on what you want because you're not ugly and that confidence will grow the less you worry about how you look on camera.

I often wondered if that's what some people on YouTube felt like when they first started out. You can see for yourself on an account such as Zoella, or Grav3yardgirl, Pointlessblog (if you know who any of them are)...when you look at their old videos they are incredibly awkward on camera and no where NEAR as confident as they are now. I know Zoella has anxiety and panic attacks and such and that's something I can relate to - maybe these things come with time.

At prom a lot of people were complimenting me on my weight loss, but then on photos I looked horrendous. Literally, I looked short and stumpy. Maybe the angle wasn't good (considering I'm 5ft 11") but I looked awful. The lighting was temperamental because in some lights I looked good (if I may say so myself) and in others I looked horrid..and that was natural light which made me look worse (god forbid what I look like walking in the streets).

My mother and father were always the ones to tell me I was 'just broad' or 'big boned', I knew myself it was a lie because the men in my family are tall, thin and narrow so it definitely wasn't generic (unless something screwed up). But now that I have lost weight they'll lashing out compliments - it's strange to think I still have around 28lbs to go....what will I look like then? How will I feel..better? worse?

Women will never flock...ever. I always look at celebrity pictures which are "before and after" pictures to provide myself with some form of 'hope'...never works. I'll still be as bad as I am now come 10 years time...unless a miracle strikes.

You are very articulate and you seem both responsible and kind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your looks either!

As for therapy, well, I think that people, who know they need it yet don't go there because of fear or whatever, are kind of sad, whereas those, who grab the bull by the horns, take their health seriously, and face their troubles are super awesome. There is still stigma around mental health (kept alive by small-minded people), but from personal experience I can say it is great to discuss with someone who is there only for you, acting with your best interest in mind. If they don't do that, change therapists. Opening up about personal stuff is very hard and you want to do that only to someone you trust and respect.

Would I not be deemed stupid for consulting a therapist for my own lack of self confidence? I mean it's hardly an illness, more so a self perspective thing.