I know you're a tourist because ....

You have no idea what I mean when I tell you to drive past the Big Chicken.

You have a stupid yankee accent.

What accent you talkin bout? Fugghedaboutit!

You are surprised when I dont end my sentences with "eh".
You ask me where I can buy real maple syrup.
You ask me if there are gas stations between here and Alaska, and then look annoyed when I say you dont even need any further north because the polar bears will give you a push when you need it.
You ask if you should wear a sweater on the tour. Never mind the Georgian accent, you are a tourist from a long lineage of tourists if you're worried about getting a bit chilly underground on a 35*C day. It's not cold, it's refreshing!

:laugh:

- You are asking directions to "the West Edmonton Mall" - it's "West Ed", and I think most locals over 20 avoid it if they can
- You're taking pictures of the pirate ship in the mall, or paying to watch the Sea Lion show
- You are surprised you can't see the mountains
- You think you can just hop on a train/subway and go anywhere outside of the city
- You were expecting to see snow in July or August (it only happens SOMEtimes)
- You are wearing pants/sweaters when it's 15C - heck, we bust out the shorts at around 0 lol

You refer to it as anything other than downtown (Washington, DC).

You ask if the Metro is safe.

You've been on any kind of tourbus (other than in elementary school).

You don't know that the numbered streets run north to south and the lettered streets run east to west.

You don't know how to get to "the mall", Ben's Chili Bowl, the Cherry Blossoms, etc.

You don't know that Marion Barry is the "mayor for life".

I know you're a tourist because...

1) You have NO idea who The Civil Wars, Jason Isbell, or the Alabama Shakes are...

2) You're baffled that not everyone drives a jacked up truck with a rebel flag decal on the back window (reference to southern stereotypes)

3) You had no clue that Florence/Muscle Shoals has had a HUGE impact on American music in the 60's-70's and continues to.

4) You're clueless as to what the line "Muscle Shoals has The Swampers" means in Lynyrd Skynyrd's song "Sweet Home Alabama".

ETA: If you have never heard of white BBQ sauce before and where it originates. Seriously, that stuff is better than any other kind of BBQ sauce.

You think that Beale St. is a good place to be after dark.

You think that Rendezvous has good barbeque.

I'm not a local, but I think Central BBQ is better. I do think Rendezvous is decent too, though.

You're downtown between Church and Broadway on a Saturday mid-day. Or a Sunday. . . .

You ask what a cheese curd is

If you have to ask. . .

I live in Maryland, so I know you're a tourist when you visit the inner harbor, which to us locals is nothing but a nasty polluted swamp...

When you order crab cakes from ANY restaurant you visit, just because you are in Md. so they must be all created equal, right?

When you buy any and everything that has crabs on it (shirts, mugs, keychains, etc...)
[/quote]

Whaaaaaaat? I love the Inner Harbor. I mean...yes, the "water" is the consistency of jello and smells like a dirty diaper, but the water taxi, and the bars, and the aquarium, and the shops...come on!

I typically think someone must be from out of town if they try to engage me in conversation. Locals don't talk to strangers.


Do you live right in that area where the harbor is? I do, have all my life, and to us who live right there, it's nothing but a overpriced, tourist trap swamp full of yuppies, I mean come on, you just said it...jello like water that smells like a dirty diaper...can an aquarium and restaurants make that better? And why would anyone in their right mind want to take a water taxi thru that crap? I don't think so lol :-P

You have Arizona plates

You ask what a cheese curd is

If you have to ask. . .

Cheese Curds...fresh Cheddar cheese in its natural, random shape and form before being processed into blocks and aged. Curds have a mild taste with a slightly rubbery texture and should squeak when eaten. *Note: Freshness may be lost 24 hours after opening package

Deep-Fried Cheese Curds…a specialty of the Midwest where fresh curds are dipped in a beer-based batter before being placed in a deep fryer.

Squeak…the trademark sound from a fresh cheese curd. Squeak should be high-pitched, audible with every bite and sound comparable to "balloons trying to neck," (The New York Times). *Note: Squeak may be lost 12 hours after opening package.

In Winter.....You wear jeans and cotton socks under your ski pants, which are all tucked into your ski or snowboard boots, which are not laced correctly. You have a Go-Pro on your helmet and like, 10 or 12 lift tickets flapping from your zipper. You talk on your cell phone during the chair lift ride.


In the Fall....You are driving erratically and pulling over at inconvenient spots to take pictures of the "foliage". You are wearing brand new Ben & Jerry's hoodies. Your kids have dried chocolate on their faces and furry teddy bear-shaped pins on their shirts. Your SUV does not have a speck of dirt on it.

God, tourism and people trying new things/exploring new places/and learning new cultures is so awful.

Jesus.

Ok havent read all of them but think this is awesome and hilarious so here it goes

You drive super slow on EVERY road you are on

You drive either an old car or a very nice car

You are very pale- obviously from somewhere up north or east

You are shopping for cleaning supplies and bug bombs

You are crowding the streets and making traffic horrible!
(oh wait, sorry these are all for "snowbirds")


Ok- Tourists

the look on your faces everytime you get out of a car, walk out of a restuarant or anywhere air conditioned
(especially in the summer) like you think the temp is gonna change - even at night

You are red- usually all over from a day shopping, or just being outside for a short time

You are outside during the day- inside at night - again during summer

You are not wearing a jacket or sweater in the winter when it is a chilly 75 degrees outside

The obvious struggle you have taking a breath when you first get here and open the door in the summer- from the heat

The lack of tan on your skin

You are wearing shorts and sleeveless clothes in the winter

You take up the width of the sidewalk, looking up, walking slowly, randomly stopping then starting again blocking other peoples way while they try to walk around you.

You're a jerk... (see link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LmPBPWHJu4

You don't understand why the streets dont all go north/south or east/west
You find it funny that we call our "warshes" rivers
You feel the need to touch every cactus you walk by
You point to your menu because you cant say burrito
You point out every person who is openly carrying a firearm
You bought a pink cowboy hat