How do I talk about weight-loss with an obese friend?

if you're concerned, i don't think you should just ignore it. but i wouldn't just say, "hey, you need to lose some weight." find a healthy recipe you think she'd like and tell her you want to make dinner and watch a movie or something. tell her that you want to start walking, but want a buddy to do it with so you're not bored. wii games, like just dance, are a really fun way to exercise, without it feeling like exercise. just show her that healthy food can taste good and that exercise doesn't have to be so bad.

This is good advice!
I was thinking to lead by example
It seems like you've been on MFP for a couple of yrs...show her your MFP acct.
See how she reacts...if its positive then you can do this as a team!
If its not then back off and maybe sometime down the road try it again...sometimes it takes time (& patience) to warm up to (new) things :happy:

I'm gonna share similar experience with my best friend.
I have an obese friend since he was a little kid.
We've known each other for +30 years now.
We used to be very close to each other until many bad experience (broken heart many times & recently....his father died due to heart attack approximately 1 year after my father died) just changing his character drastically.
He used to be positive & cheerful, but now I get a gloomy vibe whenever I get near him.

It is very difficult to reach him & try to find a way to talk about health.
It is more difficult that after my marriage I moved to a far away city.
I only meet him about once a year when I visit my mother & sisters.

He is closing himself to a point that he got no friend at all except me (can I still be called a friend?) & his family.
He never call me, I always try calling him (not always get an answer....may be he is creating a barrier even with me).
Whenever I meet him I give him the idea of working out regularly by giving him my self as an example.
I use to be overweight, but never obese.
When I was depressed (problems & father died) I also gain a lot of weight.
I works out regularly & try to use this to motivate him (not mentioning weight but I use my Abs goal - not preaching - to motivate him)
The only positive result I see is he bought a static cycle but I doubt he use it regularly because after a year still no change at all.

The other problem is his family, especially his wife, seems to agree with his way of thinking.
Now I come to a conclusion, some people don't care what other people thinks, even when they want you to be healthy & happy.
Some people even don't care of him/herself or have a very low goal in life.
I'm gonna talk to him tonight....again...hopefully he will answer his phone.
At least to say hello.

BTW, he comes from an obese family so it is in his (and his family) gene.
Only his little sister is slim.

One of my very best friends has put on a lot of weight over the last year and a half. I would say she's in the 'morbidly obese' weight range. I feel like she is shutting herself away from friends and social occasions - whereas she used to go to everything and know everyone! She's still the life of the party, but now the party is mainly just her and her family, or me. I want to talk with her about it and encourage her to lose some weight/be more active - in a sensitive, non-douchey way. I want her to feel comfortable in her skin and to not shut herself away.
The other thing I'm mindful of is that I am in a healthy weight range and exercise regularly - I don't want to be preachy!
Has anyone else been on either side of this situation before? I'm especially interested to hear from people who have been in my friend's situation.
I want this to be a positive thing - not a put-down. I just want her to be happy.

IMO
Unless she comes to you and asks for help or says "Hey, I want to start working out with you."

Keep your mouth shut.

Unless of course you don't want her as a friend any more, then fire away

You can always invite her to do something active with you… but I absolutely would NOT bring up her weight. If she's morbidly obese, she's more aware of her weight and the potential health problems that could arise from it than you are. You're not going to be doing her any favors by pointing it out… even if you are worried about her. It has great potential to destroy the friendship… and even if it doesn't… if she does something about it… it'll be in large part for you instead of for her. Which is not healthy either.

If this has been a (relatively) sudden weight gain, as opposed to +2 lbs a month slowly creeping on, I would try to talk to her about what triggered it. Ask her questions designed to open up conversation about her (her, not her weight. her as a person).

How's work? (Could she be depressed due to work being stressful/going nowhere?)
How's the dating scene these days? (Could she have had a nasty break up? Sexual assault?)
How's the family? (Is she responsible for the wellbeing of a parent or child? Is she getting caught up in an ongoing family feud?)

If none of that gets you anywhere, you can frankly say how you've noticed her withdrawing lately and it worries you. (still, don't bring up her weight) Say how you want her to know that she can always talk to you, is there anything that she wants to talk through or just get out.

I actually disagree with the "get her to exercise with you!" type stuff. If the weight gain is a symptom of something like depression, going on walks 1. Won't make any lasting difference 2. Could make her more self conscious of her weight. If she's morbidly obese, even a walk can make her out of breath and feeling crummy compared to you, since you probably wouldn't be as winded.

That sounds like a really hard situation, any way you look at it. Good on you for keeping on trying and being a good friend. I hope he comes out of the fog :-)

I hope the same to you.
I really hope the best for both your friend & mine.