My dietician keeps body shaming me :(

I just want to tell you that I went through this also. When I was 16. Same stats as you. When I recovered I ate pie and brownies. I gained fine and regained my health. I also had liver problems and fully recovered. You don't need the pressure being put on you. You can recover from this and be healthy again and lead a healthy life. Even some "helping professionals" can have their own issues and not be helpful. Therapy is also important and will help you through all of this to deal with your stress, get guidance, heal the mental/emotional stuff while your body heals.

Neda is a good resource. Mfp has added a resource page for eating disorders.

So I was underweight and unhealthy. I was 85 lbs and 5'2, female, 19. I took it upon myself to grow up and get some damn help. So I scouted out my own doctor and nutritionist and left the pediatrician I had as a kid. Now I go see my nutritionist (RD, LDN) once a week, but as of late we are conflicting.

...

My worst issue with her is she keeps body shaming me, more or less, making me feel bad about having ice cream when I was physically emaciated and now telling me against my doctor's word that I am somehow damaging my liver by eating ice cream. God, what did I do wrong? Do you think I truly messed my liver up? I mean, it IMPROVED with the 10 lbs, not declined! I feel so ashamed because of this woman and I am more and more depressed every day, but only because of HER.

When I told her she was stressing me out, she told me to go see a therapist.

Well no therapy is going to help me figure out what is wrong with my stupid liver, so what gives?

You would probably benefit from a therapist not because this person says you need one, but as a general "quarterback" for the team that's helping you and a touchstone for yourself. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater because someone snarkily suggested it.

Your nutritionist (not to defend her manner) is probably not used to people with your particular set of goals and background,. I doubt she's shaming you on purpose, but rather she's working in a realm where she isn't specialized. Scientifically speaking, I would not like to be "in a corner" where obviously the gains you saw need re-enforced, but doing that re-enforcement means praising a diet that's 2/3s desert. A classically trained nutritionist would (and for many OTHER PATIENTS, should) find it difficult. She's dealing with the instinct to tell you "ten pounds is good...but...

Where something technically, pedantically correct about how it could have been more normative food choices follows the "but."

In her mind, she's likely turned the ship (you) to the north, generally, and now wants to turn it a bit to the east, because North is good, North is the right general direction, but the rudder could use a tap to conform with her textbook, which says "North and a little east"

She likely doesn't understand that you are in a position where "North" and "North East" feel very different and "I know last week I said north, you made progress with north, but now I'm thinking Northeast" feels like a wishy-washy reversal, and jerking the rudder around too much endangers the whole voyage.

Like many mainstream medical professionals, she's trained to give you accurate scientific advice, but probably not trained at all on HOW to deliver, modify, or qualify it - thus, it's not always going to be compassionate or productive. If you're lost in the clouds and ask me where you are and I yell up "in a hot air balloon" I haven't "technically" done anything wrong, but I'm not being useful to YOU in YOUR situation.

You are "the customer" and always have the right to change out any member of your medical team for any reason (right down to not liking their aftershave), and you probably should seek a new start with a new nutritionist,...that said, I'd like to re-iterate that a therapeutic professional in the ED realm may actually be able to help you interact with medical professionals whose training is mainly clinical and not relational. He or she would be able to hear out your concerns in full and not try give you cookie cutter, one-size-fits-all (badly) advice.

My family doctor is very good, generally, but his advice on weight to my (overweight) self was always "Just lose weight"

He's a friend of my family and I see him outside of work and understand that it frustrates and scares him that people won't do what seems simple to him, but even having that understanding of him as a person prevented me from codeswitching and utilizing his terribly phrased and inaccessible advice.

But in my case, it took talking with a therapeutic professional to let go of some of the stress, anger, and coping mechanisms that were driving my diet into the "red zone" (along with some other maladaptive behavior beyond the scope of MFP generally)

Follow through on her suggestion of rounding up a therapist... and have the therapist pick your dietician's replacement.