Miserable about my weight & tears over photo

I haven't read all of the other posts, but you can't think of it as a win or lose type of thing. Losing weight and keeping it off takes longer than just losing it! Life gets in the way, but you have to keep at it, or at least not sabotage the work you've put in. Do one thing at a time. Set a goal to do that thing for the whole week. If you struggled with it for the week, try it again for the next week. It will become a habit. Just add more and more. It's a lifestyle change. You didn't gain weight overnight, you won't lose it overnight either. Just don't give up!! Feel free to add me!

Didn't read all four pages, so this might have been covered already.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn patience...everyone says it, you didn't get fat overnight, you won't get thin overnight. But in reality, that means, there will be days (maybe weeks) when you screw up...eat too much, don't exercise. Your relationship with the scale will become like one with a fickle boyfriend who is amazing sometimes and awful others.

If you're having trouble getting into this because it's overwhelming, find small things that you KNOW you can do. Walking for five minutes...Taking half the pasta off your dinner plate, or half the butter out of a recipe. Getting healthy has its fun moments, but it is also filled with frustration. The only way to succeed is not make it too hard on yourself in the beginning. Easy until you hit your groove, and then keep challenging yourself with bigger goals. I read a post here once where the guy's doctor told him to fidget. He was 400+lbs and literally couldn't do a lot of exercise. The fidgeting burned some calories. He would walk across the room several times a day...it seems so small, but it was a change in perspective for him. And over time, as he started to lose weight and get stronger and build his endurance, he was able to do more.

If you eat out, split the food in half from the start. Try walking 10 minutes at a time, two or three times a day. It adds up. Don't wait for hubby to join, he might never do so...your health is your responsibility.

And lastly...do yourself a favor, and have him take some before pictures. You'll be disgusted now, and probably later as well...but those comparison pics are AMAZING. I have very few pictures of myself fat, and now I really wish I did.

Hi

Firstly: No one has the right to bully you. NO ONE. We can try to help you with that now or later, if you'd like. NO ONE has the right to use YOU as a litter box.

Secondly:

The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of grwoth and progress. Take comfort in that.

The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.

I was 312 pounds and I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.

Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:

1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.

2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:

a) This program works
b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction

3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man (or woman) in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and sontinue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success

Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.

If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.

Three months ago? I couldn't move. Saturday? I burned 1400 calories exercising. Because? I wanted to.

You got this.. ...and we got YOUR back

FR headed your way

Fsunami

"In our warped minds pictures become frozen mirrors that we can stare at as we pick apart our features over and over again.
I know girl. I know."

When my mother died we had plenty of pictures for her memorial. From Prima Ballerina to yo-yo weight midlife and finally someone who I didn't recognize on the outside but the love, heart, service, joy, postive chirstian woman were more refinned than her weight in her final years prior to cancer. I was lucky, I didn't gain weight until after she passed so we have pictures together.

As I gained weight I didn't allow pictures, I still saw myself as the sporty chick with an athletic body. Well guess where that got me. I had no idea how big I really was until I saw pictures from an event. I thought they must of used a wide angle lens. Put it out of my mind after a month of crying.... and gained another 50 pounds. Pictures are for real memories. My father is almost 80. I don't like how I look in the pictues but I am taking them with abandon now. When I pass, I want my kids to remember moments, not that "I think mom took these pictures... but I don't see her in ANY, was she there?" Selfies can be a very lonley life. Get out, have fun, walk, hold hands and remember, the pictures are for you and your family as memories of the time we have on earth. Sometimes in a supermodel body sometimes a frumpy silly body. Now I just make silly faces when someone snaps quickly. Life is too short to not live.:bigsmile: :bigsmile:

I could have written those exact same words last year. With the exception of the bullying; however, I was bullied throughout my entire childhood and never had any self-esteem until recently. My highest weight was 216 in May of 2013 when I finally got serious and 236 in November of 2012. I have chronic pain issues after knee, back, and neck surgery and chronic migraine syndrome but I won't let it stop me.

Around the time I started I had briefly dated a very controlling person who wanted me to stay fat and have no confidence but I got out of that. That gave me the confidence to start losing weight.

I also suffer from depression, not just the typical "I'm feeling a little down today" depression. And it sounds like you are depressed beyond your control. I highly encourage you speak with a doctor about that and discuss various options, whether it me medication, talk therapy, or both. I'm glad to can talk to your husband about the bullying but talking about it does not give you the tools to deal with it. And you need to deal with it.

I eat out a lot because I work two jobs. I still lose weight by eating smaller portions and making smarter choices. I also work my hardest to make it fit into my day. Sometimes it doesn't so I don't sweat it that much.

Exercise does help with stress, but if you're in pain all the time it can be counterproductive. So maybe try to learn some deep breathing exercises to relax and relieve some of your tension. I agree water exercises can be excellent for sore joints to begin with. I have a friend who wears a large t-shirt because of body image issues but water jogs daily.

Different foods can help your mood as well. Do some research into this. Obviously fruits and vegetables are healthy choices. Don't start thinking of any food as bad, that's not what I'm leading to but some foods will help with depression.

This will work for you, you need to give it time and patience.

If you find counting calories too challenging right now, try Weight Watchers. It's an easier point system - and there's alot of support.
I did the online-only version after my first child, and it was great.

Like others said, start with just one thing.
Stop sugary drinks / soda and switch to water.
Have fruit for breakfast.
Take a brisk walk around the block after dinner.
These alone will not make huge change right away, but they will help.

Then, when you are ready, do more than one change, or rev up the intensity.

As for all the stress and problems -- it's awful, but none of it forces you to eat. Forget all the complex diet advice out there, and just try to eat a bit less.

The fact of the matter is that it isn’t easy! Point blank! You just have to find what works for you, eating, sleeping, and workouts and so on. Get a plan for all of it and stick to it, pick an easy workout plan/schedule and start slow and buildup as you go along. Too many people pick something hard and jump right in and they burn out. Also find an accountability partner (or multiple) and make it known they are to call you out. Additionally make a support group of several friends that you can turn to for support when you need it. Lastly, make daily, weekly, monthly goals, and longer, make sure that they are obtainable goals such as losing 2 pounds a week and 8 in a month. Revisits you goals; if you are not reaching your goals don’t freak out just work harder on the next one. It may also be that you need to readjust your goals.
I know it’s rather cliché but remember “Quitters never win and Winners never quite!” So keep on keeping on, and you’ll be the girl you want to be in no time!
V/r,
DW

I am in the same boat right now!! I hat myself and my body but the only person who can change that is ME.. My boyfriend who can eat as much as he wants and not gain a thing always tells me that I am beautiful and he doesn't know why i feel that way about myself. My starting weight was 239 a year and half ago, I lost 32 lbs and was at 207 when I met him and decided I was moving 4 hours from home to be with him.. I then got a great job and has huge perks and free food, drinks and snacks was one of them.. well was not so much a perk!!! I started gaining weight I hit 331 and I lost it seen pictures of myself and HATED THEM!!! I had already set this account up at my starting weight as 125 which is what I thought I was until I went to the dr and they told me that i was 231.. so my actual starting weight in July was 231 I am down to 224 today... I tried 90 day challenges I made it 1/4 way into it and realized it was making me gain weight not lose so i quit, I tried a different exercise routine and it made me gain so i quit that as well( I know what you will say that I was gaining muscle to check measurements) well no the measurements were not changing either!! I started running on my tread mill using my elliptical and riding my stationary bike and the pounds have been dropping slowly.. I have more energy and I am trying to eat better or a lot smaller portions anyways!! I know i still do not eat healthy by any means but i am losing... CHIN UP ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE YOU!! I can try to help you with motivation feel free to add me if you would like!!!