Time For Us To Face The Truth?

there's something nice about those days where I am worry-free and not beating myself up over needing to wear bigger sizes.

You should never do that. It's counterproductive. You can recognize that you need to lose weight (or want to) without defining yourself by it.

Does it stop you achieving things you want to achieve or doing stuff you want to do? Do you have health problems? Are you happy?

Because, honestly, if you are living a full and happy life that is meaningful to you and you're not in-and-out of the doctors every two seconds, does it matter?

If you want to be more capable physically, or are unhappy with what you see when you look in the mirror, then it's a different story and you can take some steps to change things.

Thank you for putting that in words so well. This is the real question I have been trying to get to! I do live a full and happy life, but lately I have been really stuck on the "does it matter?" That is what I need help figuring out. Most days I say no, but with 40 lbs. to lose, maybe it should be yes?
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The thing that worked for me was finding out that I could still enjoy my life, I can have fun, be fit, lose my weight all at the same time. It didn't have to be all of my life devoted to spending time grinding away on a cardio machine and eating lettuce. Although now I find myself spending too much time on MFP but it's enjoyable to me.

So "naturally skinny" people have no empathy? Only on mfp could this be said without a trace of irony.

Not to be the grammar police but I think the word you're looking for is sympathy. Empathy require having been through a similar situation. If someone has never been overweight/obese, they can't truly know what that's like. And I only point this out because I was wondering the same thing about the OP's friend. My best friend is a weight loss consultant and personal trainer. She has clients who are severely obese and honestly cannot relate to them because she's only ever been slightly overweight in her life. She cares and has sympathy for them but cannot empathize with their situation and therefore has a tough time giving them guidance when they truly struggle.

Many "naturally skinny" people know very well what it feels like to feel judged based on their size, to not feel entirely in control of their body, or to have body-related or fitness-related goals that they struggle to achieve. Don't assume that just because someone looks different on the outside, that they can't empathize with what someone else is going through.

asking others how you should feel about something? o.O? Really?

But I guess all in all, yes it is a choice, and yes I have chosen to not make the change.

Right on.

I would like to say that I don't think either choice is inherently "wrong" or "bad." There can be negative health impacts of certain choices. But it's your life and your health. It's really nobody's business.

That said, I've never heard of anyone who succeeded at getting fit saying, "you know what... I just feel happier when I'm out of shape and overweight!"

Either way, best of luck.

People get in great shape all the time, realise it didn't make them happy and end up sliding back to their old life.

It's a thing.

Weight is about 50-70% genetic- that's not to say we don't have control over it, we do- but I think the experiences people have with their weight control vary dramatically (and therefore, the understanding they have for other people who struggle with their weight).

Actually shape and height are genetic, weight isn't. Weight is directly a result of how someone supplies calories and nutrients on a daily basis.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

i'm sorry, but this is confusing me. i get that shape (frame) and height are genetic, but why does that rule out how our bodies process incoming fuel and how efficiently it's burned as also being genetic? where our ancestors came from and how they managed food is hard-coded into our DNA. that's not something we can easily override. and since none of us came out with users manuals to tell us exactly what our optimum levels of whatever were going to be, or when our parts were going to wear out, or if something was faulty from the factory, figuring out how to effectively care for ourselves is little more than guesswork. some of us have an easier time of it than others, but all too often those who have an easy time of it have no empathy for those who have a harder time.

if our weight is a direct result of how our bodies process fuel, then that makes it genetic.

I left myself alone about my weight for several years. I had other priorities, right or wrong. When the time was right--and my mind was right--I made the changes without any input or suggestions or "cold hard truth" from anyone other than myself. And I believe that's why it stuck this time.

Yup.

I love this

Do it for yourself if you're going to do it. As to answer your friend's question, it's easy, for me eating has always been a pleasure/hobby and everything in my life has always been associated with food, and it mattered more to me at the time than being healthy. So yes, it's a question of priorities.

Everyone has a different opinion of "fine" or "healthy".

Not a big fan of how people (not just him) say they don't know how people can knowingly continue on a path that leads them to obesity. Yes, there are many things that can impact someone's ability to lose weight regarding their medical situation (hormone imbalances, medications, etc.) and/or where they are mentally. I mean - fear can be a big hindrance too. Fear of failure or fear of success. Sometimes, there are other priorities in life that cause other things to be pushed back too....and a person can sometimes only focus on one thing at a time.

I think there are people who've never had issue with their weight and it's hard for them to perceive what it's like for someone who's overweight. They don't realize the embarrassing situations it can put people in. I remember when I flew down to Florida last fall. My dad asked how my weight was doing. I told him that it was doing okay, but at that point I was about where I am now. I was able to go thru the airport without it being a big deal. I could fit in an airplane seat without spilling over into the next seat. I didn't have to ask for a seat-belt extender either. As I went thru all the things I was able to do that I haven't been able to do in some time, my mother and sisters mouths dropped open. They said they had no idea that I was going through all of that. Of course they wouldn't. They've never been morbidly obese!! I wasn't purposefully trying to eat myself into oblivion. I don't think anybody does.

The questions I have for you include: are there things you'd like to do that you might be scared to do or otherwise concerned due to your weight? Are there other medical complications that are worrisome that your weight is exacerbating? Or is your weight just bugging you enough to encourage you to want to do something about it?

Whatever the case, it has to be something that YOU want to do FOR YOU. Not because someone else thinks your fat where you are right now.