Miserable about my weight & tears over photo

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Replies

  • PlumpKitten
    PlumpKitten Posts: 112 Member
    If you find counting calories too challenging right now, try Weight Watchers. It's an easier point system - and there's alot of support.
    I did the online-only version after my first child, and it was great.

    Like others said, start with just one thing.
    Stop sugary drinks / soda and switch to water.
    Have fruit for breakfast.
    Take a brisk walk around the block after dinner.
    These alone will not make huge change right away, but they will help.

    Then, when you are ready, do more than one change, or rev up the intensity.

    As for all the stress and problems -- it's awful, but none of it forces you to eat. Forget all the complex diet advice out there, and just try to eat a bit less.
  • connie_messina
    connie_messina Posts: 495 Member
    i started at 240 lbs lost about 83 so far so just start logging take it day by day and you will get there! no more pains since i lost the weight!
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    The fact of the matter is that it isn’t easy! Point blank! You just have to find what works for you, eating, sleeping, and workouts and so on. Get a plan for all of it and stick to it, pick an easy workout plan/schedule and start slow and buildup as you go along. Too many people pick something hard and jump right in and they burn out. Also find an accountability partner (or multiple) and make it known they are to call you out. Additionally make a support group of several friends that you can turn to for support when you need it. Lastly, make daily, weekly, monthly goals, and longer, make sure that they are obtainable goals such as losing 2 pounds a week and 8 in a month. Revisits you goals; if you are not reaching your goals don’t freak out just work harder on the next one. It may also be that you need to readjust your goals.
    I know it’s rather cliché but remember “Quitters never win and Winners never quite!” So keep on keeping on, and you’ll be the girl you want to be in no time!
    V/r,
    DW
  • Gawanne
    Gawanne Posts: 105 Member
    All these lovely people have said it all so I really have nothing to add, except:
    I am now old, when did THAT happen! You are a beautiful young woman with years ahead of you so please, please don't give up. You will be so glad you didn't six months from now. A year or two ago, and of my own generation, I had a family, and I had a bunch of long time friends. Notice, had. I have literally lost everybody in my own age group. The few who haven't died are now in old age homes. I have one close friend left and she lives too far away so we now communicate by phone. Needless to say, Gawanne the optimist became a very depressed Gawanne indeed. Then one day I discovered Myfitnesspal in a magazine article and voila, everything changed yet again. I joined, I dieted, I walk 3 times a day for half an hour each time, my joint pain has disappeared and suddenly the sun is shining again. I am now the matriarch of my small family, but it's as if they, in their fifties, and me in my late seventies have met somewhere in the middle. What I'm trying to say is; all our different life ages bring different sorrows or problems, but there is always something that comes along and suddenly life is worth living again. For me it's younger new friends, the joy of painting, writing, gardening, knitting, walking and on and on, and I mustn't forget I'm into maintenance AND all my old clothes, oh joy. The bullying troubles me though. I've had some of that in the past. Best way to deal with it is completely ignore the bully. Bullies lose interest pretty quick when nothing fuels their ugly behaviour. Best of luck love, post a picture in six months time.
  • darcylong29
    darcylong29 Posts: 22
    I am in the same boat right now!! I hat myself and my body but the only person who can change that is ME.. My boyfriend who can eat as much as he wants and not gain a thing always tells me that I am beautiful and he doesn't know why i feel that way about myself. My starting weight was 239 a year and half ago, I lost 32 lbs and was at 207 when I met him and decided I was moving 4 hours from home to be with him.. I then got a great job and has huge perks and free food, drinks and snacks was one of them.. well was not so much a perk!!! I started gaining weight :( I hit 331 and I lost it seen pictures of myself and HATED THEM!!! I had already set this account up at my starting weight as 125 which is what I thought I was until I went to the dr and they told me that i was 231.. so my actual starting weight in July was 231 I am down to 224 today... I tried 90 day challenges I made it 1/4 way into it and realized it was making me gain weight not lose so i quit, I tried a different exercise routine and it made me gain so i quit that as well( I know what you will say that I was gaining muscle to check measurements) well no the measurements were not changing either!! I started running on my tread mill using my elliptical and riding my stationary bike and the pounds have been dropping slowly.. I have more energy and I am trying to eat better or a lot smaller portions anyways!! I know i still do not eat healthy by any means but i am losing... CHIN UP ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE YOU!! I can try to help you with motivation feel free to add me if you would like!!!
  • Justcallme_J
    Justcallme_J Posts: 28 Member
    I can't add much because you've already gotten some great responses, especially the ones about making small changes.

    I just wanted to add one more voice of encouragement. You can do this! Please don't give up. I understand feeling so completely overwhelmed because I've been there. That's why making small changes really helps and ends up kind of snowballing into huge steps toward being healthier. You don't have to do everything at once. Just do your best for today and focus on one thing at a time. Also, don't be too hard on yourself. If you feel like you've made a mistake or had a setback, be at least as compassionate, understanding, and forgiving of yourself as you would someone else you love. You don't have to be perfect or accomplish everything all at once. Just keep trying, and you'll eventually get there.

    Please add me if you would like someone to talk to or just for support and encouragement.
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    I was 273 at my highest weight, today I'm down 80 pounds, but I joined MFP half way thru my journey.

    That is so inspiring, well done Hun and thank you for your support x
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member

    Take out a calendar and write down a tiny baby step to practice for the week. One of the suggestions above, or something else. Tracking is always a good place to start. Then for the next week, do the same. Maybe make an appointment with yourself on Sunday night to review how you did for the week and pick the next thing. If you break it down into steps, it isn't so difficult.

    And I highly recommend starting with diet first, then adding exercise when you are consistent with your logging and staying at calorie goals. One step at a time---you can do it!

    Thanks hun, you are absolutely right, I was trying to do it all at once and that is why I have been falling on my face. I am starting with the food for now. I spoke to my sister and she was DELIGHTED at the idea of earning a few bob and helping me out at the same time so starting tomorrow she is going to be coming up to my house twice a week to do soem cooking. She is going to cook for me on Thursdays when I will be working late and on Saturdays we are going to cook batches together xx
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    I had the same experience. I had a picture taken of me and I was so disgusted with myself and how I looked cried that whole night and didn't sleep and cried half the day. That is when I got mad at myself for letting myself go. I stuck that picture up so I had to see it every single day and to remind me how miserable I was feeling by looking at it. I knew I was big but it didn't hit me until I saw that pic.. ................... I have had snotty comments about my weight by my guys son and now it is a small part of my mission to stick it in his face when it's gone. ........................... Excuses are what got you in this mess to begin with. Once you stop doing that and stop letting things get in your way and making a real honest effort, things will change for you. Good luck to you and if you want to add me to your friends list I would be more than happy to accept.

    I tried to stick it up but I actually feel so crap and I would DIE if my hubby saw it. I know that sounds ridiculous because he sees me every day......... I told him about it and how I have been feeling etc and he said he will help me. He often would decide to treat me and surprise me with a take out or a box of chocolates or something I love and I asked him not to do this. I was telling him how I felt and I was so upset..... Unfortuately he went off then and came back with a big ice-cream to "cheer me up"......... I know he meant well but I got so angry with him, I felt like our whole conversation was undone. We are both still sulking a little and I will have to speak to him again later because I NEED him to understand how hard it is and that him "being a feeder" will just set me back... don't worry I will find a nice way of saying it today..... By the same token, that is not an excuse. It is my mouth and I alone am making the decision about what I put in it so I can't use this an an excuse....... However it really doesn't help. :o(
  • minhy
    minhy Posts: 5
    1. Be patient - these things take time, otherwise they wouldn't be LIFE-CHANGING.
    2. Be persistent - stick with things for a while, say one month. If it isn't working, then move on to something else. Rome wasn't built in a day, and it takes more than a week to lose a pound or two of fat while staying healthy. Try not to be too anxious about achieving your goals, just relax, try to have fun and enjoy success when it comes (and it will come when it's meant to come).
    3. Be open-minded - there is no one-sure answer for ANYTHING in health and fitness. Two identical twins could be doing the same diet and workouts and one loses weight while the other doesn't. Do what works for YOU. It might take some time to find out what does, but generally healthy eating with adequate amount of proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins and minerals (and LOTS of water) and moderate to intense (start off slow) exercise should work.
    4. If you gave up, come back here again and post up the same thread so people can motivate you to get back on it.
    5. Just because you took one step back on your journey because life got in the way it doesn't mean you should keep stumbling backwards. If you get pushed back, get your footing right, ground yourself, and keep moving forward.
    6. Good luck!
  • zac775
    zac775 Posts: 199 Member
    Hi, read your quote. And it did touch a heart string. Always remember that small changes can make a big difference. I have struggled fro quite a while, and lost the amount of times I have started then stopped, but this time its time for a change. We are all here to help and motivate, share thought and stories, menus, meals and tips.

    Slow and Steady will win the race. Set achiveable goals, which you can stirve to. Once completed move on to the next goal and so on and so forth. No body ever said it would be easy but with help it can be easier.

    I find it hard sometimes, but after a little pep talk Im back on track before I can cause the damage.

    Also remeber dont cut everthing out, unless you have been advised by a medical prossional. Working hard all week toward your goal, sometimes you need a treat, it deserved and keeps you sane, just remeber everytninhg in moderation in cluding that treat. As it can lift the spirits.

    I hate my pictures being taken the, one on my profile is about the best I have at the moment, as what i see in the mirror and other see is completley different. Look at yourself and pick a good thing, it doesn't have to be a physical thing, remeber the physical aspect will come with time and the hard work you are putting in.

    Good luck, stick at it and it will come.

    Shane
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    I have decided to upload that horrible pic that made me cry and use it as my profile pic....... it will push me to do better........ standby.......
  • zac775
    zac775 Posts: 199 Member
    You go girl, grab it by the horns and beat the crap out of it, I know it sounds a little cheesy but you are the master of you own goals not some photo. You can beat it a do it.
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    Cringe......... It's up now, it is just disgusting...... there were two so I uploaded both but used the one that is the worst as my profile pic........ that will make me think twice x

    PS: Thank you all for your support, I am trying to reply to eveyone x
  • zac775
    zac775 Posts: 199 Member
    I see it shows a loss of 2 pounds on your profile, remeber a loss is a loss and is an achivment.
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    You go girl, grab it by the horns and beat the crap out of it, I know it sounds a little cheesy but you are the master of you own goals not some photo. You can beat it a do it.

    Thanks Shane, it is a rotten pic all the same x
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    I see it shows a loss of 2 pounds on your profile, remeber a loss is a loss and is an achivment.

    Thanks buddy, you're right but once upon a time my ticker had a 20-odd lb loss and I put it all back on :o(
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    Hi, read your quote. And it did touch a heart string. Always remember that small changes can make a big difference. I have struggled fro quite a while, and lost the amount of times I have started then stopped, but this time its time for a change. We are all here to help and motivate, share thought and stories, menus, meals and tips.

    Slow and Steady will win the race. Set achiveable goals, which you can stirve to. Once completed move on to the next goal and so on and so forth. No body ever said it would be easy but with help it can be easier.

    I find it hard sometimes, but after a little pep talk Im back on track before I can cause the damage.

    Thanks Shane, just being on here and chattign to you all has made me feel so much better already. Have sent you an ADD x
  • KimAdda
    KimAdda Posts: 5
    Hi,
    I know how you feel. I also hate the way I look... I find it difficult to be motivated because I go to work and I am so tired when I get home that last thing I want to do is go to the gym.
    However my boyfriend is a total fitness nut. He goes 1.5 hours to the gym every day, so I try to keep up.
    Do you like meat and veg? I have been coming up with super easy healthy recipes, that also look and taste amazing. I used to eat **** like pizza, pasta, chinese food etc. Now I feel guilty about adding cheese to my broccoli.
    I think you need to become a bit obsessive about what you eat. At some point, you will feel guilty about eating chocolate bar, and just stop eating them.
    You will be so proud of yourself when you eat healthy and exercise!
    For example, last night I had skinless chicken thighs baked in the oven with onions, garlic, bell peppers and tomato sauce, and a side of roasted sweet potatoes. It was sooo yummy! If you are living in the USA, try to cook as much as possible. There is so much hidden sugar and salt in prepared foods unfortunately.
    If your ankles are knees are hurting, maybe you can try some sitting cardio, like the bikes with the proper chair. Don't forget strength training is super important as well to build muscle. The more muscle you build, the more calories you burn and the more fat you lose. Lift weights!
    It would be great to follow each others progress. I wish you the best of luck, and would be more than happy to share my tips and recipes :)

    Keep strong girl!!! You could look like Kate moss in a year. Print a photo of a swimsuit model and stick it on your fridge! It helps! hahaha

    xo,
    Kim
  • lillyrose2020
    lillyrose2020 Posts: 178 Member
    Hi,
    I know how you feel. I also hate the way I look... I find it difficult to be motivated because I go to work and I am so tired when I get home that last thing I want to do is go to the gym.
    However my boyfriend is a total fitness nut. He goes 1.5 hours to the gym every day, so I try to keep up.
    Do you like meat and veg? I have been coming up with super easy healthy recipes, that also look and taste amazing. I used to eat **** like pizza, pasta, chinese food etc. Now I feel guilty about adding cheese to my broccoli.
    I think you need to become a bit obsessive about what you eat. At some point, you will feel guilty about eating chocolate bar, and just stop eating them.
    You will be so proud of yourself when you eat healthy and exercise!
    For example, last night I had skinless chicken thighs baked in the oven with onions, garlic, bell peppers and tomato sauce, and a side of roasted sweet potatoes. It was sooo yummy! If you are living in the USA, try to cook as much as possible. There is so much hidden sugar and salt in prepared foods unfortunately.
    If your ankles are knees are hurting, maybe you can try some sitting cardio, like the bikes with the proper chair. Don't forget strength training is super important as well to build muscle. The more muscle you build, the more calories you burn and the more fat you lose. Lift weights!
    It would be great to follow each others progress. I wish you the best of luck, and would be more than happy to share my tips and recipes :)

    Keep strong girl!!! You could look like Kate moss in a year. Print a photo of a swimsuit model and stick it on your fridge! It helps! hahaha

    xo,
    Kim

    ^^Such a nice post^^ Really nice to see some genuine advice and support.
    Your chicken thighs and sweet potato sounds delicious, I will be giving that a try for sure!
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    Ohh, please don't quit!! :flowerforyou: I feel your pain, I have been in your shoes. Everyone has posted really good suggestions. I would add one thing that sounds kinda corny but it helps to get my attitude right from when I wake up in the morning. Before you even get out of bed find ONE THING to be grateful for or ONE THING to be thankful for. We all have huge stressors in our lives and I find something positive helps to keep me more focused.


    Good luck and add me if you like.

    Sharon

    Thank you for your suggestion hun and for the support. I took on board what you said. Yesterday was a tough day, I went to sleep in bad form and woke up the same way, normally I am in good form so this made it hard for me to get up and to think of something good so in the end I decided to be thankful for hot water and my lovely new shower. I probably doesn't sound like much but I gave myself an extra 10 mins to drench myself in the lovely hot water and relax before I went to work, normally it is a big rush.

    Tomorrow I think I will get up a few minutes earlier and have extra playtime with my dogs before work xx
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    The choice is yours... either feel worse than you already do in a year, or do something about it now and feel accomplished and proud of yourself in a year. Then take small steps. For me, it was fixing my diet first, then I started exercising.

    Thanks hun, this is exactly what I have decided to do x
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member

    Don't give up. You can do this. I'm not gonna lie. It isn't always going to be easy and sometimes you are really going to want to give up, but if you stick to it a year from now, heck probably 6 months from now, you will be so glad that you did.

    My highest weight was 260lbs and I'm only 5'4.5". :noway: I've had my ups and my downs. There have been plenty of times I wanted to give up. I actually did kind of give up once. ..............

    Thanks hun, and I love the pics you posted. 260 to 170 is quite an accomplishmnet , you should be so proud. Congratulations on baby too. I am 5'9" and I would say I am around 84lbs or more over weight (that's like 6 stone!). It's going to be a long haul xx
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    Save that picture. It will make a great before for when you get to after.

    My highest weight was 245+. I hurt and I was so out of shape I could only exercise briefly and slowly starting out. So I did ten minute walks the first week. I was up to 20 by the next week. Then I went to 30 a week or two later. Before I knew it, I got bored and started running a few steps, even though I hadn't lost much weight. The body can recover surprisingly quickly and well from what we do to it.

    I have just made the pic my profile pic, it's awful but it will make me remember why I want to do this.

    That's awesome how you built it up and inspiring to see how quickly. I used to run a lot, now the thought of jogging around the block would make me feel ill. That will change though, it has to. Last night I watched a guy called "Mike" on "Obese - a year to save my life" go from almost 500lbs to less than half that in 1 year. If he can do that, I just have no excuse x
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    Hey! I'm in a similar situation, hating what I see in pictures and feeling pretty discouraged. But we can do it! One day at a time. Feel free to add me, we can support each other :)

    will do hun, thanks x
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    But he can be an ally. Let him know how you feel and that you really want to make a change and would appreciate his support. He doesn't have to change with you but some help with meal prep, grocery shopping, etc would be nice. And maybe you two could start taking walks together or something like that.
    My Hubs doesn't want to have anything to do with exercise but he's been good about healthier eating for the most part.

    He is in for the healtheir meals, I just have to get him to stop buying me treats and briunging me goodies when I am trying to be good. I asked himn to go for a walk wioth me the last two nights and he said he would but then when we went to go he wasn't in the mood so I will have to work that one out on my own.

    Tonight I am going to put the leads and harnesses on my two dogs before I even ask him to come, lets just see if he can say no to 3 sets of sad brown eyes haha XX
  • MegE_N
    MegE_N Posts: 245 Member
    My fiance and I are super lazy. We both got so heavy (my highest in my life was 250lbs) because we were such bad influences on each other. Then we discovered how much we both love going for long, brisk walks. Now we're fabulous influences on each other.

    Lazy is not a permanent state of being!
  • Chevy_Quest
    Chevy_Quest Posts: 2,012 Member
    OP You can do this! :smile:

    I am so positively amazed at all the positive responses here. it is a really good thing. Save these links and responses from total strangers who are helping and want you to succeed.

    Ignore the inevitable negative and set goals, slowly shedding the excuses, and succeeding! :smile: :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member

    Do you know what's a healthy weight range for you? Here's a BMI chart. Look it up.
    http://www.shapeup.org/bmi/bmi6.pdf
    Multiply your healthy goal weight by 10, and that's the calories you eat. (Total, not net.) That's for losing weight.
    When you get near goal, start tweaking it up by 50 - 100 until you're at goal & not losing any more. That should be about 15 cal per lb.
    I hate how I look. I never let people take pics of me
    Yep. Me too. The only ones I'm allowing now are every 15 lb I get someone at the gym to do a full-body shot, & I do a face shot.
    I was going to post it for motiviation but I actually can't because it literally reduced me to tears and I very rarely cry.
    Keep it where you can see it, and when you get to your goal you'll have a great "before".
    Take pictures along the way too, every 15-20 lb, of your whole body & of your face.
    And take measurements!!

    As far as eating, you're going to have to cook. It's cheaper & healthier.
    Here's a great site, always has tasty things, and most recipes have nutrition info: http://www.tasteofhome.com/
    If you hover over "recipes" in the menu bar, a menu pops up that has all sorts of choices. Among them are "healthy" and "slow cooker". Start there. Slow cookers are wonderful, simple, not a lot of cleanup (if you use a bag, the cleanup is even easier!).

    But there's no way to get around logging what you eat. You have to do it, and you have to be accurate about it (weigh, measure) so you have accurate info to help you get healthy again.

    Thank you for all of the tips hun. I am going to work out my BMI and healthy rangenow.
    I sucked it up and made the pic my profile pic, no point in fooling myself.

    I have lost my soft tape but I am going shopping tomorrow night and will get a new one then so I can take measurements too because that really helps when the scale is moving slowly (or not at all).

    As for cooking, I know, it just has to be done. Am going to try cooking in batches for now. My sister is going to cook for me on my late night in work and help me on Saturdays to cook lots too so that will improve.

    I will check out that website becasue would you believe my mum actally bought me a slow cooker last Christmas and it is still in the box, I have no idea what I could even make with it, I will search for something easy to start with (and healthy.........and delicious!!) x
  • amylouize2012
    amylouize2012 Posts: 268 Member
    Do you know what's a healthy weight range for you? Here's a BMI chart. Look it up.

    Oh God, I my BMI is 35-36....... that is officially Obese

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