dating sites- do you use them ??

I've tried a few online dating sites and I met my ex off one and we dated for 3 years we only broke up cuz he had to move to Korea and I couldn't. I will say this be careful there are a lot of weird people so take your time getting to know them on the site before giving out your number or agreeing on a date. For some reason just about every person I met from plenty of fish just wanted to sleep with me... I must of missed the posted note on my forehead that said I wanna f*** parton my language but it gets old after a while. Also on okcupid I had a guy who used to work at the same place I did message me repeated then he created a fake profile to talk to me so watch for creepers and use google image search!! I tried match.com for like a week and then canceled it. You should give them a try at least once but just be careful.... Hope that helped good luck

I didn't know this was a dating site -_- well I'm single wink wink
Lmao

1 ) have you ever tried a dating site?
I tried Match and OKCupid

2) were you pleased?
Yes

3) would you tell someone to try one?
Very yes

4) any bad vibes?
There are creepers everywhere. Learn to spot them, meet in public, trust your instincts, if you ever feel unsure about someone, do not meet them. This is not limited to online dating, so it applies to life in general, not to your question in particular.

5) any thing i shoud ask?
Ask where they work, what they do for fun, and then Google their company and their hobby. find them online

6) would you do it again?
Yes. I had a blast and only met one guy in person who was a little weird. Plenty of creepy or sleazy guys out there, but they were easy to spot and easy to block on OKC. I was never bothered by them for long.
I would do it again in a heartbeat if I were single. I currently live with a lovely man I met online 4 years ago.

7) what site(s) did you find most helpful
OK Cupid. It has/had a chat feature so it was much easier to get a feel for the person before you met them in person.

8) which one(s) should we stay away from / why
Stay away from Pay sites. Try the free trial period if they have one, get the feel of the place, practice crafting your profile, notice what you like and don't like about other people's profiles, then move on to the free sites.

9) any other info would be helpful --thanks
Set up a brand new e-mail account and skype/yahoo messenger/facetime account linked to that email and not your personal or work ones. If you want to chat with anyone before you meet them, use that.
Don't be afraid to try new things
Don't be afraid to date people who are not "your type"
Go into it with it in mind that you are there to have fun - and then have fun

Remember that some of these sites (like OkCupid) purposely mess up matches in order to experiment with people and see what would happen. Why trust your future to strangers?

Let your friends and family know that you're seriously looking for a spouse. Join clubs that do things you enjoy doing, and if you have a relationship with God I'd suggest you pray for a good match. We do so much online now that the personal touch that comes from life in general is lost.

Nah, I just go to the local jailhouse and take the first available man there.

Nah, I just go to the local jailhouse and take the first available man there.

Oh goodness!
There are more people out there and a friend of ours who does this kind of "patrolling" :laugh:
We have a friend who works at the jail and he picked up a "stray" from there...needless to say it didn't last long...gee, I wouldn't know why :ohwell:

Unfortunately, men seem to have it tougher online than women, partially because men are still expected to make the first move. However, I will say that for many women who are not considered the top 10% in attractiveness, they have exactly the same problem. They don't get messages at all, and don't get responses when they make the first move.

I do know some less physically attractive men who wrote great profiles and did just fine, though. Having and displaying a sense of humor and a desire to stand out from the crowd can go a long way.

My online dating story:

In January 2013 I split with my then partner. A friend recommended POF to me and said it would be a confidence boost. They couldn't be more wrong.

At best I was completely ignored. Or I received messages telling me how ugly they thought I was, or they'd tell me off for having the cheek to message them in the first place looking the way I do, or they'd attempt to ridicule me for only being 5ft 8ins (a crime worse than terrorism in the dating world.)

In the end I deleted my profile and had a breakdown at the reality of being too ugly to ever meet anybody. I don't go out now. I avoid social situations and when I do go out I pull a cap over my face to hide it from women.

I signed back up last week just to see once and for all if I'm still considered repulsive. I am. Don't attempt online dating if you're ugly. Just don't.

Some women are mean nasty b*tches who wear makeup to cover up how ugly they are so don't let them get to you. I will make a profile and send you a message and you can tell me off if it will make you feel better ♥

Also adding in I've a male friend who uses sites who has nothing but horror stories too. So I don't think its a male v female thing either. Both sexes seem to have problems with dating sites at times.

As the poster above stated I do think age can play a factor. Plus shift work kills any chance of a social life - saying all of that I do sometimes think just remaining single is far easier. I hate the initial dating stages & far prefer the comfortable stage. Alas you kinda need the first to get to the second. Unless you're already friends first.

Nah, I just go to the local jailhouse and take the first available man there.

Oh goodness!
There are more people out there and a friend of ours who does this kind of "patrolling" :laugh:
We have a friend who works at the jail and he picked up a "stray" from there...needless to say it didn't last long...gee, I wouldn't know why :ohwell:

:laugh: Oh man, have you seen, Prison Wives? That never fails to amuse me. Wish I could catch it when it's on more often.

I will also add that age is a great factor. I had a very bad experience in my early 20s with the partner I was living with at the time. It really damaged my confidence and my feeling of being secure when out (long story don't want to go into it but take what you will from what I have said). Push forward 18 years, I am 40 years old, have been single all that time and am finally ready to get out there, I work long hours and am the only single friend in my circle so there is no one to be introduced to. I don't consider myself to be hideous, but I have a lot of weight to lose...I get nowhere, nothing, zilch, apart from hearing from men in their late 50s and early 60s (my mum isn't even 60 yet!). I have tried making the first move and get completely blanked on all sides, I try being funny, have made my profile a little mysterious but not so much that I am giving nothing away at all (what is the right balance?). I have been on the sites (okcupid and Smooch) for 4 months and have reached the point where I think that perhaps I am just meant to be a cat spinster (without the cat as I live in rented and can't have any pets).

If you are younger it's much easier...

Ours is a difficult age to find someone I think. I'm 42 and most of the men I got dates with on OKC/POF were either in their 30's or 50's, and most of the oh so generous offers I received for NSA sex were from men in their 20's! My husband, who I met on OKC last year is 36 and he had noted in his profile that he was looking for a woman aged 23-35... yet my age didn't bother him at all. Sometimes they just put in an age range that is their ideal because when they first sign up it seems like you're ordering off a menu, so you just pick what seems ideal to you at the time.

The bodytype thing can also make it more difficult, especially when you're trying to lose. When I was in the 300's I had my niche. I was BBW no questions about it. So men who liked fat women approached me. I met my husband at my current weight (with all the complications of wedding and moving etc, I decided to move into maintenance for a while and have been maintaining this weight for almost a year and am only just now going back into weight loss mode) At this weight, 230's there were a lot more men interested because I'm still fat enough to be attractive to some chubby chasers, but kinda sorta in the "little extra" catagory where many men who are not necessarily exclusively attracted to larger women don't rule you out,,,,, but it's hard to know what they're thinking.... Are they in the pool of men who don't mind a little(or a lot) extra or are they in the pool of men who find it very unattractive or are they in the pool of men who LOVE fat women and don't want you to lose any more weight???

It took me around 70 first dates (and even some 2nd, 3rd etc dates) before I met my husband. AND he was half the world away so yeah, it's definitely not easy for women our age... But it's not impossible.

I just need plastic surgery and an operation to have my legs lengthened, then I might be ok!

80% of men on dating sites are messaging and competing for the top 10% of women in terms of attractiveness... so don't be shocked when this top 10% chooses someone more attractive than you. You're a fairly average man. Slightly above average in terms of general physique average to slightly below average in terms of height. Your face is average. Not a movie star, but certainly not unattractive... Are you messaging average women? or are you messaging the top 10%? Are you messaging women in their late 30s and early 40s... or are they women in their late 20's early 30's... Are you messaging women who are slightly overweight or only women who are very fit? Are you messaging women with kids? Basically, are you excluding a large percentage of available women from your dating pool?

Thanks for the honest critique. I didn't ask for my physical appearance to be picked apart by you but thanks anyway.

I generally message people 5 years either side of my own age.
As for attractiveness, I certainly don't shoot for the stunners, I wouldn't dare!

One thing I will disagree on is that I'm fairly decent shape for a 40 year old in comparison to a lot of guys my age. You've just inspired me to train harder!
This is what hurts so much, putting the effort in 6 days a week to try and improve my appearance only to be - at best - dismissed with a 'Huh, you're just average, no wonder you can't meet anybody.'

POF is utterly soul-destroying. Shame on me for ever thinking I'd stand a chance.

Don't take it personally dude. There could be a million and one reasons why its not worked. I have been on this boat.
Personally for me socialising and being confident works.

The way that works i think and have seen is guys who are:

1. Confident
2. Normal (ie being themselves)
3. Self assured

Its worked for me to a degree as I am a naturally friendly guy, I am considered by many as good looking etc, but i pretend i dont have a face and have a blank canvas & i think of all the great things i bring to the table.

Get out there man!

I just need plastic surgery and an operation to have my legs lengthened, then I might be ok!

80% of men on dating sites are messaging and competing for the top 10% of women in terms of attractiveness... so don't be shocked when this top 10% chooses someone more attractive than you. You're a fairly average man. Slightly above average in terms of general physique average to slightly below average in terms of height. Your face is average. Not a movie star, but certainly not unattractive... Are you messaging average women? or are you messaging the top 10%? Are you messaging women in their late 30s and early 40s... or are they women in their late 20's early 30's... Are you messaging women who are slightly overweight or only women who are very fit? Are you messaging women with kids? Basically, are you excluding a large percentage of available women from your dating pool?

Thanks for the honest critique. I didn't ask for my physical appearance to be picked apart by you but thanks anyway.

I generally message people 5 years either side of my own age.
As for attractiveness, I certainly don't shoot for the stunners, I wouldn't dare!

One thing I will disagree on is that I'm fairly decent shape for a 40 year old in comparison to a lot of guys my age. You've just inspired me to train harder!
This is what hurts so much, putting the effort in 6 days a week to try and improve my appearance only to be - at best - dismissed with a 'Huh, you're just average, no wonder you can't meet anybody.'

My opinion is you should go for girls who YOU find attractive and not some bullsh*t rating system someone has devised.