Moderation DOES NOT WORK for me

Two pieces of bread turn into one, a piece of cake is now a sliver, one piece of pizza (depending on how large) is just one piece not two or more.

A Big Mac is now just a Big Mac without the fries, Sodas are now diet soda, etc, etc. etc.

And that sounds abysmal to me. That kind of moderation holds no appeal.

I think it's important for people around here struggling with this kind of moderation to realize that there are indeed other ways to moderate.

Personally instead of looking at the "all or nothing" approach as a bad thing, I embrace it. I'm going to have as much cake or ice cream as I want. I'm just going to limit how often I have it. Not everyone is interested in a "sliver of a treat a day". I almost never eat pizza or fast food, because I just don't crave it, but if I do I'm going to eat as much (or as little) as I like. That's my moderation.

I've seen others who prefer to be very strict with their diet during the week, while having a lot more freedom during the weekend. Some have a free meal.

OP, find YOUR moderation.

Try changing your view of food. No food is bad or good for fat loss or weight maintenance.. you just eat less of it. Which is what moderation is all about - it requires a healthy attitude towards food.

Unless you plan on NEVER eating junk food once you are done losing weight, then you need to learn how to fit food you love into your macros/calories for the day. I eat junk daily usually. Still get all my protein in.

This sounds a bit like there's only ONE healthy relationship with food.

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Two pieces of bread turn into one, a piece of cake is now a sliver, one piece of pizza (depending on how large) is just one piece not two or more.

A Big Mac is now just a Big Mac without the fries, Sodas are now diet soda, etc, etc. etc.

And that sounds abysmal to me. That kind of moderation holds no appeal.

I think it's important for people around here struggling with this kind of moderation to realize that there are indeed other ways to moderate.

Personally instead of looking at the "all or nothing" approach as a bad thing, I embrace it. I'm going to have as much cake or ice cream as I want. I'm just going to limit how often I have it. Not everyone is interested in a "sliver of a treat a day". I almost never eat pizza or fast food, because I just don't crave it, but if I do I'm going to eat as much (or as little) as I like. That's my moderation.

I've seen others who prefer to be very strict with their diet during the week, while having a lot more freedom during the weekend. Some have a free meal.

OP, find YOUR moderation.

I too am not a "sliver" person. For higher calorie foods I do one of these, depending on situation:
1. If it's a leftover or I want it but not enough to allocate too many calories, I eat a slice or a sliver or whatever after a big low calorie meal.
2. If I want it and can allocate calories I eat a moderate amount (2 slices for example) within my calorie budget.
3. If I feel like gorging I eat a bit less of the other stuff and/or exercise more and have the amount I want.
4. If I have a night out or a party or simply don't feel like restricting my calories that day I eat at maintenance and exercise a bit more and have an "all you can eat" day (within my maintenance calories).

Try changing your view of food. No food is bad or good for fat loss or weight maintenance.. you just eat less of it. Which is what moderation is all about - it requires a healthy attitude towards food.

Unless you plan on NEVER eating junk food once you are done losing weight, then you need to learn how to fit food you love into your macros/calories for the day. I eat junk daily usually. Still get all my protein in.

This sounds a bit like there's only ONE healthy relationship with food.

I guess there is, and that would be "don't demonize food or label things as 'good' or 'bad,' simply eat for enjoyment and eat to satisfy yourself mentally/emotionally/physically."

For some, that might mean that they wind up eating junk food daily or most days (like me), or it might mean that they eat junk food every now and then without assuming it will ruin their progress/results. In another thread about diet foods in the recipes section, most of us replied with a similar answer, that food is not to be judged and is simply to be enjoyed in portions that can be worked into our day's needs.

Someone can eat very "clean" most of the time, and that's fine, if they are eating that way because it provides them with joy and they are happy eating this way. But a lot of people who eat clean (myself once upon a time) can often become very... obsessed with it. Overthinking everything they eat, maybe resulting in binging because htey just could no longer handle not eating the "bad" food they've been craving... that's no way to live.

Again, that sounds like there's just ONE way to be.

Everyone is different...I cut out the sweets and fried food completely because I cant have just a tiny piece of cake or one scoop of icecream. Staying away altogether is much easier for me besides the very very occasional treat. Everyone is different though!

Some people find that moderation is more trouble than it's worth. When it comes to sugar… my sister falls into that camp. She would rather NOT eat sugar at all than try to eat it moderately… like trying to stop at just one serving. I'm the opposite. If someone tries to tell me I can never have something again… my likely response is going to be somewhere along the lines of "Bite me!" I personally think a person can find a way to enjoy all those foods they like while still losing weight.

But, from what you've described, you sound like you fit into my the same category as my sister. Moderation is not something you are interested in. Fine. Then you've got two choices… eat it anyway and accept the consequences. Or don't eat it at all. It's your choice. Either choice is fine. But if you choose to eat it anyway… make sure you know the consequences and be ready to accept your responsibility for them. It's not your parents fault or society's fault or the fast food joint's fault. It's yours and yours alone.

If you choose to cut them out entirely… that's also your choice and you will have to accept the consequences of that choice as well.
Which consequences are you going to choose?

If you choose to cut them out entirely… you are going to have to face the fact that those foods will always be around. Even if you could remove them from your environment… they will still show up at grocery stores, in your friends houses, they will still be offered at parties. The fast food businesses are still going to be remain in business. But you CAN say no. And you can consistently say no. But you have to make the choice. You can choose "I will never eat XXX again." It is not easy. It will require self-control. But it is possible if you make the choice and DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND! Remind yourself of why you made the choice. What are the consequences you are trying to avoid by not eating those things?

If moderation does not work for you… then don't moderate… just go cold turkey. Or continue to eat that stuff that you cannot moderate and accept the consequences. You're an adult. It's your life.

Moderation can be tricky at times. When I'm having a bit of a struggle, I just remind myself that I don't have to cram all my favorite foods into one day. I get to wake up tomorrow (hopefully) and eat again.

Moderation is a skill. You've learned to do many things in your life. Probably did not master them the first time you tried. Moderation is the only way to be successful long term.

Start practicing. Keep practicing. Pretty soon you will learn to do it.

Sincerely,

A person who was convinced that she could never learn moderation either but did and lost around 100 pounds.

The world is full of temptations, the only thing that stands between them and you is self control.

This. The only thing in life that you really can control is yourself.

It's been well said: nutrition and cooking. Learn it, enjoy it.

I am a volume eater. I can't switch from 5 slices of pizza to 2 and be satisfied with that. But if I have a big bowl of soup or salad with the pizza it feels like enough. I have been making a big pot of low calorie soup each week and having a cup before lunch and dinner. I have my regular meal with a smaller portion and try and make 1/2 the plate veggies. Focus on what you can eat a lot of (veggies) and preparing those in a delicious way. You can binge eat on well prepared veggies and have a moderate portion of the more high calorie foods.

You also have to work on your willpower. Think of it like a muscle you are training that can progressively lift more and more weight as you train it. At first make a small promise to yourself that you will be able to keep. Keep that promise for a week. Then the next week make a promise that is a little harder. The more promises you keep to yourself, the easier it will get.

Stop making excuses and start exercising self-control. Otherwise, you'll never stop being a slave to your impulses.

Is saying: "I don't eat candy" self control?

Stop making excuses and start exercising self-control. Otherwise, you'll never stop being a slave to your impulses.

Is saying: "I don't eat candy" self control?

It's obviously much more difficult to eat less of <insert "forbidden" food here>, than it is to avoid said food completely.

The only way we can prove to ourselves (and MFP, and the world at large) that we have achieved the highest enlightened state of self-control is to keep eating those foods.

Hope this helps.

Stop making excuses and start exercising self-control. Otherwise, you'll never stop being a slave to your impulses.

Is saying: "I don't eat candy" self control?

IMO, yes, but the OP didn't say that. She said moderation doesn't work for her and also that not eating stuff doesn't work for her (as she'd order it anyway). So this thread isn't really about moderation vs. some other model. It's an "I can't" thread.

You can't if you say you can't.

Edit: obviously any diet plan that is based on using maximum willpower (white knuckling it) isn't going to work well, because willpower is a finite resource and during life stuff comes up of higher priority that requires the use of all your willpower. If I'm going to fall off the wagon any time my willpower is sapped by using it to avoid killing a co-worker or some such, then my diet plan needs work. I think it's best to come up with something that requires self control around the edges (that's life) but for the most part isn't so difficult. For me I'd say moderation generally works, but if one has trigger foods (or situations) that would be avoiding the trigger until one can manage to neutralize it. But I don't see that as what the OP's post is about at all.