How do some people let themselves get so big?

I'm asking this question because I want to understand them better. I can understand economic a little overweight, but how do people let themselves become so big?
My breaking point was when I was either in danger of becoming overweight, or I already was a little (I was 5'4 140lbs). I know thee are people who get between 300-500lbs, sometimes even more. Do they not realize? Give up? Don't care?
I don't want this to offend anyone who is or has been of that weight, I really just want to understand how it happened a little more.
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Replies

  • shabaity
    shabaity Posts: 792 Member
    There is a lot of reasons many of them emotional, and these are usually exacerbated by diet and the sedentary lifestyle that is becoming so common these days. Many regional diets don't help either.
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
    fat people know they are fat.

    Morbid obesity is a symptom of another problem. People who are only 'a bit' overweight? Probably just had other priorities for a little bit.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    There is a lot of reasons many of them emotional, and these are usually exacerbated by diet and the sedentary lifestyle that is becoming so common these days. Many regional diets don't help either.

    Basically this.

    Also, some people will insist that you CAN'T get to 300-400+ lb without having a metabolic disorder. I personally don't believe that is ALWAYS the case because I reached 307 lb and then lost weight pretty easily once I started getting serious about it. With counting calories, it went even better and I now weigh 173 which is overweight yes, but very close to a healthy weight for my height...and it did not take any extreme measures to get there, no pills or doctor assistance or surgery. So while that stuff about the "broken metabolism" I keep reading here may be true some of the time I don't think it's true ALL of the time.

    I think a lot of people just do not realize how much they are eating, or they're eating so many calorie dense foods packed with salt, sugar & fat that they truly don't eat all that MUCH food they just eat a lot of calories. I was never eating whole pizzas or ten ears of corn and a half gallon of milk and package of Oreos. For me, a normal, relatively healthy breakfast and lunch and HUGE platter of alfredo pasta from Outback with 1/3 of a bloomin' onion and ice cream the same night...or small meals with a venti frappucino and NO exercise, every day...that's how I got and stayed so large.

    It can also add up over many many years. For very large women (and maybe men too) there's a MUCH larger gap between needing different sizes of clothes. For example, I recently went from a size 12 to 10 in a certain brand of jeans and I guarantee the 10's would be uncomfortable and too small for me if I gained ten pounds. When I was in size 22, I gained over 40 lb one year and my clothes still fit totally fine and I really could hardly tell a difference. So when that sort of thing keeps happening...it just gets out of hand after awhile.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member

    Thanks for sharing this link. Wow. I think that should answer OP's question.
  • HelenaCavanaugh
    HelenaCavanaugh Posts: 14 Member
    I have never been obese. But whenever I was within a few pounds of being "overweight" my family has always been quick to point that out. My first memory of my weight being an issue was when I was 8 and maybe in 2nd grade. I was visiting my father and stepmother. He told me it looked like I was getting a little heavy and should probably not eat so much. Image has always been very important for both sides of my family. The not so subtle message was, "You gain weight, you will be shunned."

    This alone has been instrumental in the amount of weight I have gained/not gained in my lifetime. And yes, I realize how incredibly dysfunctional it all is.
  • jennifurballs
    jennifurballs Posts: 247 Member
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc
    What he said.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    i had a mental break down and food was my bff
  • lsorci919
    lsorci919 Posts: 772 Member
    Life happens to people...... bad food choices for years on end, health problems, not being active, some weren't taught how to stay healthy, some just don't care.... I've met A LOT of people that have no clue what healthy eating vs unhealthy eating is.

    I look at pictures of myself from a year ago and wonder how I let myself get to that point.
  • asia1967
    asia1967 Posts: 707 Member
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc

    This + low self esteem, dysfunctional home life, bullying, abused, tormented, neglected need I say more.
  • higgins8283801
    higgins8283801 Posts: 844 Member
    Never gave a **** because I never weighed myself or saw fat me.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    I'll never understand. Came in to try again but nothing. I just assume they're set in "their ways". Same as smokers that can't quit. No desire to change. Too damn stubborn. Not changing your bad habits is easy; change is hard...
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    My highest weight was 245. I gained it very fast. I was doing my best to dig my own grave with a spoon. And a fork, and a knife, sometimes a straw but usually I'd just guzzle straight out of the 2 liter. I knew exactly what I was doing and why. I actually don't know exactly why I changed my mind and decided to live. Maybe it was just taking too long.
  • ssaraj43
    ssaraj43 Posts: 575 Member


    This is what I thought of when I saw the OP. Nice work again Pika......Your very helpful (and a little scary :tongue: )
  • tjl2329
    tjl2329 Posts: 169 Member
    That's so true. I eat way more than I use too. Weighed less than I ever did in my adult life. Still need to lose 60. For me I was always told to lose weight. Tried pills once. Doctors advice. It wasn't until recently. Was very sick. Sugar and blood pressure way too high. He was great sent me to a nutritionist. She didn't tell me about what I couldn't eat. She explained how the body and calories worked. Yes I needed it. All my life I've been told eat less. Exercise more. My doctor asked me to try walking at a slow pace for 15 minutes a day. Easy right. Well I tried it. Two days of hell. Then I said this is ridiculous. And with in a week went to 30. I was too fat to even go around block. My nutritionist. Told me to look at portions. If all you have are chips and lunch meat. It's OK eat one serving. Wow really. Eating out. Try a bakedeat what potatoes and chili from Wendy's. Eat McDonalds. A cheeseburger with a side salad. Okay I can do this. Only problem I have is I love sweets. Working on that one. Diabetic so I need to be careful. Not perfect but a work in progress. Oh and I dont eat MacDonald's. Once in a while a salad from Wendy's or taco bell. No dressing. Why because I no longer like that food. Fresh home cooked food. I'd give my right arm for it. And I don't mean hamburger helper. Only because it doesn't fit might nutritional needs. I do buy and eat a lot of my food separate from my family. That's because of medical reasons only. They have also changed. Funny they willingly are eating more fresh healthy items. In my case I just needed someone to help me understand. I was just that uneducated. Yes my mother said no candy soda fast food. But my nutritionist said. Eat what you want just be able to manage my carbs.
  • lovelycurves2014
    lovelycurves2014 Posts: 12 Member
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc

    Me personally I agree with this, I have come to realize that I hated myself , and was completely depressed. It's like a slow suicide, you just completely give up and don't care what happens anymore. When nothing makes you happy anymore, except for maybe that 10 mins your eating chips or something. Of course the more weight you gain, the more depressed you become, and it just becomes a vicious cycle.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc
    What he said.
    ^
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    I think a lot of people eat for comfort. I know I do. I know when I get sick I go to food where others cant eat a thing. If I get tired or stressed food is very much comfort for me. I think it is the only way we know to cope just like an alcoholic drinks, it makes them feel better temporarily, immediate gratification. I tell myself now that I can get thru stuff without food and food will not help. I have to remind myself of this. I think being aware is most of it. I don't know when I picked up this bad habit probably when I was young and did not know how to cope well and had abusive parents, later an abusive husband. Food was my drug.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    According to the extreme makeover weight loss edition show, there appear to be many reasons. As many as there are people.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc

    This
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  • Yanagibashi
    Yanagibashi Posts: 58 Member
    Depression + stress + 16 hour days + low budget to make healthy choices + a healthy dose of self loathing did it for me.

    When you get fat, you're in a bad place and it's really hard to stop, let alone reverse the downward spiral.
  • squirrelzzrule22
    squirrelzzrule22 Posts: 640 Member
    MONEY. Income and education can often play a huge roll. This is not to say that all morbidly obese people are not smart or cannot be wealthy, but in the US (and in my family in particular) there is a strong correlation between obesity and low income/ poverty/ low education and earning potential. They have fewer food choices and will be more likely to opt for high calorie cheap fast food. They were usually not raised by the hyper-healthy whole foods moms in yoga pants running around all day to pilates and packing their kids organic fruit and tofu for lunch. They are worried about paying rent, supporting their loved ones, and making sure there is some sort of food on the table. They are not concerned about paying for a gym membership or preparing healthy meals. All of these factors work together and it can be a vicious cycle. And as many of us know, once you are that big, it is incredibly difficult to make changes for a number of reasons. In my particular work field I work entirely with indigent people. A huge proportion of them are obese, especially the women who are often solely responsible for child care.

    PLEASE NOTE: this is generally true in the US. There are OF COURSE exceptions to any rule, and it will not be true 100% of the time. I don't mean any offense to any one individual, just hoping to illuminate the general trend for OP.
  • Susanlove316
    Susanlove316 Posts: 28 Member
    Many reasons. Food allergies are like food addictions and can cause intense cravings and even mood swings. I had 26 of them and lost a lot of weight on an allergy rotation diet. It was so extremely strict that I couldn't permanently stay on it. Then I gained a lot back due to fibro myalgia pain and several surgeries, plus the food allergies can change. There are lots of different reasons why people gain large amounts of weight. Some foods have additives that are addicting. Oreos for example have many different additives that hook people and even one of these additives or preservatives would cause an addictive craving. Physical and even psychological cravings are big too. I gained weight when my abusive father passed away and I struggled with PTSD. Food can raise our serotonin level. As one person posted, "Fat people know they are fat." Yes, but we don't become fat overnight and many times we have deep issues we don't understand, coupled with health/immune dysfunction, such as food allergies or diabetes that cause intense cravings, coupled with greed motivated sneaky ingredients in cheap processed foods that some people have access to and not to nutritious food. Especially in some inner cities. Some people have disabilities and can't exercise and may not even know what is the proper food choice. I have a garden so I eat organic vegies not everyone can do that. It's not one simple excuse or blanket statement that applies to everyone...... I was always thin and exercised until I became ill. It took a while to figure out what was wrong.

    http://www.dailyrx.com/modern-foods-contain-combination-added-chemicals-may-create-cravings

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/oreos-addictive-cocaine/story?id=20590182&page=2

    http://bodyecology.com/articles/10-things-processed-food-industry.php#.U_6SHmO87Kc
  • Pookerz
    Pookerz Posts: 10
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc

    Not for me. No. I have always loved myself.
    For me, food is/was a hobby. Developing new recipes and trying new things. I was always cooking and baking for a crowd. When there was no crowd around, that meant more for me. Yay!

    I never had a problem with being fat until I couldn't touch my toes and being physically exhausted for days at a time. That was my rude awakening that something needed to be done but I never felt shame, abused, lonely, or unloved.

    Until I started MFP, I never really realized how many calories I was actually taking in.

    So, I'm not cooking for a crowd anymore. I am trying new recipes that are low fat, carb, and calories. My life is a different kind of party now and I still love and respect myself.

    *I am only speaking of my own experience. I can not and will not answer for anyone else.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc

    Not for me. No. I have always loved myself.
    For me, food is/was a hobby. Developing new recipes and trying new things. I was always cooking and baking for a crowd. When there was no crowd around, that meant more for me. Yay!

    I never had a problem with being fat until I couldn't touch my toes and being physically exhausted for days at a time. That was my rude awakening that something needed to be done but I never felt shame, abused, lonely, or unloved.

    Until I started MFP, I never really realized how many calories I was actually taking in.

    So, I'm not cooking for a crowd anymore. I am trying new recipes that are low fat, carb, and calories. My life is a different kind of party now and I still love and respect myself.

    *I am only speaking of my own experience. I can not and will not answer for anyone else.

    Not trying to nitpick, but what you described actually falls into the denial part of his answer.
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  • Pookerz
    Pookerz Posts: 10
    I knew someone would say that. Grats! You are the winner, sort of. Maybe not. It's nice of you to give us your opinion without even knowing me at all.

    Let me tell you a short story.

    I went with a friend, for moral support, to her first AA meeting. Being the friendly person that I am, I introduced myself to many people and chit chatted before it all started.

    I was asked how long I've had a problem. I replied with, "Oh, I don't have a problem."

    I can not tell you how many people told me I was in denial. When people shared, lots were talking about denial and looking at me....

    Wow, I don't even drink.

    Moral of the story- get the story before you judge. Thanks.
    Self hatred, depression, denial, etcetcetc

    Not for me. No. I have always loved myself.
    For me, food is/was a hobby. Developing new recipes and trying new things. I was always cooking and baking for a crowd. When there was no crowd around, that meant more for me. Yay!

    I never had a problem with being fat until I couldn't touch my toes and being physically exhausted for days at a time. That was my rude awakening that something needed to be done but I never felt shame, abused, lonely, or unloved.

    Until I started MFP, I never really realized how many calories I was actually taking in.

    So, I'm not cooking for a crowd anymore. I am trying new recipes that are low fat, carb, and calories. My life is a different kind of party now and I still love and respect myself.

    *I am only speaking of my own experience. I can not and will not answer for anyone else.

    Not trying to nitpick, but what you described actually falls into the denial part of his answer.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    I'm asking this question because I want to understand them better. I can understand economic a little overweight, but how do people let themselves become so big?
    My breaking point was when I was either in danger of becoming overweight, or I already was a little (I was 5'4 140lbs). I know thee are people who get between 300-500lbs, sometimes even more. Do they not realize? Give up? Don't care?
    I don't want this to offend anyone who is or has been of that weight, I really just want to understand how it happened a little more.

    pregnancies, illnesses, injuries, not taking time to work out, not having time to work out, life, depression, more life, more depression.. food, not being educated in nutrition and fitness, more food, etc We all have out own story and excuse of why we hit that dreaded number on the scale we never wanted to see. There is no one reason. it's a never ending cycle and each person has to take it on themselves to do something about it.
    There is a huge difference from someone looking from the outside and judging and between being that person. Of course they care and realize. How can they not? I did.
    Looking back, t I was in denial for so long and just said when I get time or I like food too much or I cant do it right now or I still look okay, i am not that big or I like my bigger butt and bigger boobs.( I miss those a little ) Only on the inside I said this when looking in a mirror or trying on new clothes, but mostly I have always felt beautiful and happy and confident about myself mostly due to my husband treating me like a trophy wife no mater what size I was or am now. (okay more so now :drinker: :love: ) People are people and there are many of them. In other words you can not group "fat" people into only one group and want a black and white answer to your so called question. Everyone is going to have their own story. I can tell you this, I wont ever be that girl again. I like being called hot and pretty too much.
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