MFP Friends, Support or Validation?

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24

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  • DBoone85
    DBoone85 Posts: 916 Member
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    I am just here for the noodz, and the creepy friend requests......
  • Sweetvirgo63
    Sweetvirgo63 Posts: 119 Member
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    Hey, add me as a friend and I'll follow you but I won't pick up your cross and check up on you daily to make sure you're following through. How you do on your journey is up to you but I'll give you support if you want.

    As it is, I'm following a 92-year old Vet on Facebook [Ernest Andrus] who has started running about 8-9 miles daily, 5-6 days a week across the USA to raise money for a military ship. He plans to finish his trek in 4 years. So, if he can be that responsible with his mission at his age, you can be responsible for yours.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
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    My MFP friends are friends that I consider real life friends.

    They have been there with me through the dark times, and many of them I love dearly.

    I don't have friends on here to validate the exercise/****ty diet I do.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    What are "real life" friends good for? What are they worth? Can you expect the same behavior from each one? Do you treat all of your friends the same? Do you get the same results in all your friendships regardless of how you treat each friend?

    Best of luck in your efforts to tease out the mysteries of human interaction.

    With love,
    Burt

    For good times and bad times
    I'll be on your side forever more

    Thanks for the damn earworm! :tongue:
  • AngelaRoberta
    AngelaRoberta Posts: 24 Member
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    I will like or comment on the updates that appear on my homepage, but I don't have time to go to all of my friends logs every day and make sure they are logging in/eating healthy. If a particular friend ASKS for extra support, I wouldn't mind doing that and helping him/her get on track.

    However I do believe that ultimately, each individual should strive towards being accountable to themselves before all else. It might take a little while to get to that point, but you'll be more successful once you do. It's all about the choices you make for yourself.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    I keep my friends around as eye candy mostly.

    "Like"

    "WTG!"

    "LOL"

    NUDEZ
  • DYELB
    DYELB Posts: 7,407 Member
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    So I'm wondering if MFP friends really does anyone any good. Maybe I just need new ones.

    First I stopped bringing my lunch to work (my diary is viewable).

    After a few weeks and a few pounds gained, I stopped logging food altogether.

    But as long as I logged in and kept having my day streak increase, they were like "way to go", "congrats" every time I hit five more days.

    Then I just stopped. And no one noticed, cared, and/or reached out to me the way I do when they drop off the radar.


    So what is it MFP? Are "friends" just so we can brag to each other at how awesome we are or are they about supporting each other and helping the other get back on track before all progress is lost?

    I'm sorry internet strangers aren't more committed to your goals.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I've got over 200 people on my friend list. If a person asks me for something I'll try to help them with it, but I'm not going to know automatically what they need.

    Also I treat my friends like adults. I'm not here to badger them unless they ask me to do so. I'm here to hang out, get to know some like-minded people, and try as best I can to do what needs to be done for my own health/fitness.

    Finally, for every person out there like you, there's a person out there who doesn't want unsolicited advice and pestering.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I keep my friends around as eye candy mostly.

    "Like"

    "WTG!"

    "LOL"

    NUDEZ

    *sends nudez to your inbox*
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    If you give up because a bunch of random strangers are not nagging you on a daily basis, you're not ready for this.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    sounds like you just don't have the type of friends you need. Personally I don't want people all up in my face about not logging, gaining, etc. I don't need that I hold myself accountable. I add friends that I see as inspo, whether it's their log in dedication, their great recipes, or their killer arms. I don't need anything from them to me personally they're just people I have things in common with and can learn from. You need more involved and vested friends. Look through the groups, some of them are tighter knit than adding buddies from the "general population" that may get you some peeps on board with the style of help you need.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    I keep my friends around as eye candy mostly.

    "Like"

    "WTG!"

    "LOL"

    NUDEZ

    *sends nudez to your inbox*

    My inbox appreciates your submissions.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    If you give up because a bunch of random strangers are not nagging you on a daily basis, you're not ready for this.

    h203DA7EB
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
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    I'm no cop. If you don't log, eat or exercise I'm not here to watch you and enforce that. However, my friends post issues, life items, questions, events, daily comedies on their feeds or ask about specific things. These interactions are valuable. The wtg and thumbs up on logging are just a little wave. And on a rare day, I actually do look at diaries mostly at people that are succeeding for ideas or methods.

    It's a symbiotic relationship not a gatekeeper one. There is definitely some great support without checking who is logging what or eating how much. ANGTFT.

    And I've met a few in person...

    Yes to all of this. My friends have been invaluable to me, but none of them police my behavior. That's not their job, it's mine.
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
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    So I'm wondering if MFP friends really does anyone any good. Maybe I just need new ones.

    First I stopped bringing my lunch to work (my diary is viewable).

    After a few weeks and a few pounds gained, I stopped logging food altogether.

    But as long as I logged in and kept having my day streak increase, they were like "way to go", "congrats" every time I hit five more days.

    Then I just stopped. And no one noticed, cared, and/or reached out to me the way I do when they drop off the radar.


    So what is it MFP? Are "friends" just so we can brag to each other at how awesome we are or are they about supporting each other and helping the other get back on track before all progress is lost?
    yes.

    no.

    Wait... you wanted me to validate the fact that your friends are just here for validation? Or am I supposed to support your need for validation? Or support the fact you don't need validation...

    I'm confused.
  • LastMinuteMama
    LastMinuteMama Posts: 590 Member
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    I have a few friends on here that I would go looking for if I hadn't seen them in awhile and vice versa. It's a two-way street.

    I have to say though, I'm not sure if I would notice specificially if someone stopped bringing their lunch to work ( just to use your example )

    MFP is a tool and I've made some great friends here who I've chatted with about non-Health & Fitness stuff.

    I think the trick for receiving the support you might be looking for is to ask for it.

    Post something that let's someone know that you need support. Tell your friends that you've fallen off of the "lunch packing wagon"

    As a few people mentioned, we have lives outside of MFP. Make it easier for friends to know you need support.

    Good Luck!
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    First I stopped bringing my lunch to work (my diary is viewable).

    After a few weeks and a few pounds gained, I stopped logging food altogether.

    Sorry to be harsh but there's not really much anyone else but you can do about this. You're the one who needs the light bulb moment. The people on this site, friends or otherwise, are just here to serve as examples of what can be accomplished. Most are of course willing to offer practical advice if there's a question but it sounds like in your case you already know what you need to do. You just stopped doing it.

    this this this. well said. I like the line examples of what can be accomplished, that's exactly what I was trying to say my friends are to me!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    OP, what kind of friends do you really want? You might find the type of support you seek in the group -- there are all kinds of accountability ones.

    I am active on this site. I have a core group of friends that I lurv - but my role with each of them is to make them smile with silly gifs, posts, and comments about random things. I am not ever going to make comments about them eating too much, eating the "wrong" foods, or gaining.

    It's just not my place.
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
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    I see having friends on MFP as a sort of replacement for Facebook. In fact, I deleted my Facebook account right around the time I became active here. I don't require the audience to applaud, but the people keep me coming back.

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