Diet Judgement

It's a little sexist. I never see men being given the third degree, having to defend their choice to skip cake 5 times and then being lectured about why they should eat it.

You've never met my step-mother or my ex-MIL.

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Once you reach the "vanity pounds" stage, how do you all deal with haters?

I acknowledge that I am at a "healthy" weight by contemporary american standards - I range between 22 and 25% bodyfat at my lowest/highest. I hope to break into the 20% range someday, for a toned/athletic look. My husband is really supportive of the fat-loss thing. To the point of saying "are you sure?" before I eat something, or giving me the corresponding look. It's ok, he thinks he is being helpful.

EVERYONE else in my life consistently reacts the opposite way. If I say no thank you to a cupcakes/donuts/candy, they tell me I am thin enough and to EAT EAT EAT. This is hard because I actually really want said dessert - I have a ridiculous sweet tooth- so having it shoved in my face multiple times typically results in me eating it. Then being angry, then having an existential crisis and eating more.

What I am looking for is some tips for how to convince people to leave me alone and eat vegetables if I want- or the cake if it looks exceptionally good.
Tips on sweet-tooth mitigation would also be appreciated! It would be a lot easier to be strong when faced with cupcakes if I didn't love sugar so much.

I don't have as many tips because I'm still obese so it's easier for me to tell people no, but I had to reply because I still feel where you're coming from. My husband is like yours; he'll ask me if I'm sure or say I don't need it, but he won't stop me if I really want it. There was one time I asked him to split a slice of cheesecake with me so I wouldn't eat the whole thing. He started shoveling it in his mouth so I was able to get a couple of bites but he ended up with a bigger half. In my efforts to lose weight I probably made him gain a pound or two :laugh:

My mom is one where she'll ask and if I say no she'll ask if I'm sure. If I stick to it she'll back off and say okay and that I'm doing really good, but sometimes I don't say no. I have a terrible sweet tooth too so that's something I need to work on.

For me, it really boils down to me telling myself no. I'm really trying to listen to by body and me figuring out if I'm actually hungry or not. I know there will be times I'll still eat something even if I'm not hungry but I want to greatly reduce those times. As long as it fits in my calories for the day I don't fret too much. Maybe you can tell them that you're not hungry or that you don't want it and stick to it. Maybe you need to come out and tell them that if you say no once don't ask again (you might be able to find a way to say it that isn't so blunt, but you might have to be blunt if it continues).

What I hate is when someone asks me if I'm on a diet just because I'm eating a salad. I don't like the word diet anymore. I understand that what I eat is part of my diet but it seems that word has so many negative things associated with it because of the extremes people go through to lose weight. If I'm eating a salad for lunch it's because I made myself a salad (I like them, they're rather tasty and a great way to get multiple veggies in one meal), not because I'm on a "diet". Yes I'm losing weight, but in a sustainable way.

Just tell people to respect your authoritah!!

My believe is I eat stuff I enjoy including Pulled Pork, Bacon, Bourbon etc. It is just about eating anything in moderation. I was the winner of the weightloss challenge at my work. So people sometimes give me weird looks when I eat ice cream or cake. I sometimes get tired explaining that you have to eat the appropriate calories for your workouts. I average 25-45 miles a week jogging.

Once you reach the "vanity pounds" stage, how do you all deal with haters?

By understanding what defect inside me causes me to label them "haters".

If someone offers me cake I think it means that they like me, not that they are a "hater". I usually say "thank you and have a small piece, or I say "no thank you", or I say "yeah gimme gimme!" And eat a big piece. This hasn't caused weight gain yet.

Once so wine said I was "really crazy" when they saw me put my food on a scale. If my husband hadn't been there to say the best things, I would have just grinned and ignored her. She really said it without any bad intentions.

Dear OP,

So happy to have just read this, and yes!!! It does happen and will happen. I am within my BMI and do get those snide comments.
At lunch today, i asked for lettuce and tomato in place of French Fries and the other two ladies could not resist making comments. " " Oh you know her, she is dieting"
" French Fries will not hurt you , stop worrying"
One friend needs to lose weight and the other friend REALLY needs to lose weight, but i was sweet and did not say anything to them about their respective sizes..........plus, i'm small but i'm not " skinny".
So get used to the comments, many of them are from jealous friends but some are from people who are just lost, they've lost their way and will never get to live life at a normal size or acceptable size.

You will never control anyone but yourself.

People are just trying to be friendly (generally), thinking they're complimenting you, or want you to eat the stuff they made. Never have I met anyone who wanted to shove cake in my face to make me fat. It's a social thing.

And yes, some of the people doing this are quite a bit heavier than me. But I still recall my days as a 200-some pound woman, and to me, food was love (still is) and I wanted to share that with people, not to make them fat, but because I enjoyed it so much. And to my 200 lb female mind, no one could possibly enjoy rice cakes instead of cake. Now I enjoy both.

So really, it's a mindset thing, too. They don't mean it the way you're taking it, so just be polite. No, thank you. No, really, thank you, but no.

Double post for inspiration:

Or you could guarantee your family will NEVER push food on you again by looking at your husband, smiling, and then saying I can't, we want to try this new position with our bedroom swing, and I need to be a little thinner to bend a certain way.

^^^^THIS!! and this is one of the reasons you're one of my friends

:bigsmile: But it's probably why I don't have many friends in real life!