Diet Judgement



  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    Once you reach the "vanity pounds" stage, how do you all deal with haters?

    By understanding what defect inside me causes me to label them "haters".
  • runner475
    runner475 Posts: 1,236 Member
    Tell them you got an allergy test done jus' a week back for this ridiculous non-stop sneezing that's been going on for days and the test says you are allergic to ---- (fill in whatever you don't want to eat)!

    People don't mess around with allergy. Heck, Allergy doesn't mess around with Allergy.
  • If someone offers me cake I think it means that they like me, not that they are a "hater". I usually say "thank you and have a small piece, or I say "no thank you", or I say "yeah gimme gimme!" And eat a big piece. This hasn't caused weight gain yet.

    Once so wine said I was "really crazy" when they saw me put my food on a scale. If my husband hadn't been there to say the best things, I would have just grinned and ignored her. She really said it without any bad intentions.
  • JojoEffeckt164
    JojoEffeckt164 Posts: 146 Member
    same issue here... my fiance is supporting me but this is what I get from socalled friends while having a BMI at 21.5:

    "It´s enaugh, I´m scared that you become anorexic"

    "What does your fiance says about it? I mean, he has nothing to grap anymore"

    "Stop losing weight on your upper body"

    "If you lose more weight, it doesn´t look good anymore"

    Soooo people keep judging things that are non of their buisness... I want an athletic body to. I want more muscles... people try to tell me that females don´t look good with sixpacs... From what I undestand they are jealous. I´m successfull while they keep shoveling crap in their body... They keep telling me excauses why they can´t lose weight right now... bla bla bla...

    I don´t care. Sure it annoys me, BUT I won´t change my plans because of a bunch of jealous girls!
    LINIA Posts: 1,045 Member
    Dear OP,

    So happy to have just read this, and yes!!! It does happen and will happen. I am within my BMI and do get those snide comments.
    At lunch today, i asked for lettuce and tomato in place of French Fries and the other two ladies could not resist making comments. " " Oh you know her, she is dieting"
    " French Fries will not hurt you , stop worrying"
    One friend needs to lose weight and the other friend REALLY needs to lose weight, but i was sweet and did not say anything to them about their respective, i'm small but i'm not " skinny".
    So get used to the comments, many of them are from jealous friends but some are from people who are just lost, they've lost their way and will never get to live life at a normal size or acceptable size.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    ... people try to tell me that females don´t look good with sixpacs... From what I undestand they are jealous.

    Many, many men prefer a midsection with a bit of padding on it.

    Many other men don't.

    It's not "jealousy", it's preference.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    You will never control anyone but yourself.
  • LifeOfBrian78
    LifeOfBrian78 Posts: 397 Member

    It's a little sexist. I never see men being given the third degree, having to defend their choice to skip cake 5 times and then being lectured about why they should eat it.

    You've never met my step-mother or my ex-MIL.

    My ex-MIL told me I needed to stop losing weight, that I looked like a scarecrow.

    My step-mother tells me I need to stop losing weight almost every time I see her. Then this past weekend, I told her I needed to get back to lifting weights, as I've been slacking recently. Her response: "Just don't lift heavy weights. That's how you get all bulky"

    The last time I checked, I'm a man.
  • CupcakeCrusoe
    CupcakeCrusoe Posts: 1,355 Member
    People are just trying to be friendly (generally), thinking they're complimenting you, or want you to eat the stuff they made. Never have I met anyone who wanted to shove cake in my face to make me fat. It's a social thing.

    And yes, some of the people doing this are quite a bit heavier than me. But I still recall my days as a 200-some pound woman, and to me, food was love (still is) and I wanted to share that with people, not to make them fat, but because I enjoyed it so much. And to my 200 lb female mind, no one could possibly enjoy rice cakes instead of cake. Now I enjoy both.

    So really, it's a mindset thing, too. They don't mean it the way you're taking it, so just be polite. No, thank you. No, really, thank you, but no.
  • Debbjones
    Debbjones Posts: 278 Member
    Oh my goodness... I could ramble on and on within this topic. Bottom line is no one knows or understands how "you" feel. There are some people that are trying to be friendly... but after extreme weight loss and maintaining that weight loss for a good amount of time people just don't understand, it is not a DIET that they are judging, it is a lifestyle change.

    Yesterday we had a catered lunch at work. I was ready to leave the room without anything when some "well wishers" started insisting I eat the seriously high calorie/carb/fat/sugary food. They were quite put out when I refused and found some low cal salad alternative. For the first time I had to do more than kindly decline, I found myself protesting their "well wishes" stating how it would affect my digestive track to consume such food.

    Sad to say but there will be these encounters. I found this to be the first time in two years I had to raise my voice in protest and defend my lifestyle choices. I don't know of an easy answer for this, except to say respond according to the situation. For me I just try to smile and walk away.

    One last comment... I found the "friends" that are most vocal regarding how I should eat; these are the people who were once thin, then packed on the pounds over the last few years... these are the same people who use to look down on me because I was "fat" and even commented how, if I did lose weight, I would just gain it all back. Took me some time but I realized these people really aren't my friend(s). They are acquaintances or work associates... knowing that makes it easier to smile and walk away.

    Best of luck to you!
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    Double post for inspiration:

    Or you could guarantee your family will NEVER push food on you again by looking at your husband, smiling, and then saying I can't, we want to try this new position with our bedroom swing, and I need to be a little thinner to bend a certain way.

    ^^^^THIS!! and this is one of the reasons you're one of my friends :tongue:

    :bigsmile: But it's probably why I don't have many friends in real life!
  • JoyeII
    JoyeII Posts: 240 Member
    ... people try to tell me that females don´t look good with sixpacs... From what I undestand they are jealous.

    Many, many men prefer a midsection with a bit of padding on it.

    Many other men don't.

    It's not "jealousy", it's preference.

    And why should anyone feel like it's OK to share their personal body type preferences with another person without their having asked? And who cares what "some men" prefer? We should make our bodies the way WE prefer them to be. To hell with other people's opinions about it. Good grief!