wife is kinda bothering me

13

Replies

  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    Alternatively, walk and/or run round the park in different directions. When you meet halfway, "tag" and go back the opposite way. Each interval will take you both the same time, just the faster one covers more ground.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    I have a similar problem - my wife is recovering from breast cancer treatment so cannot run as far or as fast as i can, so I run with her when she can, but when she needs to walk, i run ahead for a minute or two, turn around, run back and when she's ready, she runs again with me. it's inconvenient without doubt, but she's involved and happy thats she's involved, and seeing me running more then her encourages her to run more than she would ordinarily. it might be hard to deal with, but I'd say stick with it and continue to do ths together.

    ^^now that's a compassionate and selfless husband...it will only benefit both of you once she regains her usual strength...good for you for sticking by her and not thinking of yourself, only... :flowerforyou: sometimes other things are more important.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
    I often workout with my husband. But running and jogging is not something we can do together. I don't expect him not to push more weight than me in the gym, why would I expect him to run at my pace as well? It would be a complete waste of time on his part.

    If she really needs a running partner, maybe you can go for a run first, then she can join you after and you can consider it a cool down? I'm not really sure how to handle this, since my husband can just explain to me why he doesn't want to run with me and I would be cool with that.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    Well if we're talking about weight loss, then it's more about calorie deficit and that's achieved more by how you eat.

    Exercise is for fitness and health. You DON'T get fitter by reducing your intensity, so maybe do a little jog ahead, drop to the ground and do some mountain climbers, burpees, etc till they catch up and do it again. There are a number of ways to achieve working out together when one isn't as fit as the other.

    Another is, go to a park she stays and plays with toddler on the playground while you run 2 laps, then switch and let her get her walk or jog in and switch again.

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I like this idea, too. It shows love and compromise, while still getting your sweat on.
  • thaatgurl
    thaatgurl Posts: 26 Member
    Maybe she feels bad that she's not a motivated as you? The best thing to do is to sit down with her and talk about it. Sounds simple and yet that's the thing that goes wrong in most relationships, lack of communication. Don't blame or judge, just let her know your goals, then ask her what's wrong and what you can do together to fix it. Good luck to you both!
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
    not sure if i should put this here but the last week or so my wife has been really getting under my skin and its weird and hard for me to explain

    me and her are both over weight and usually we are trying to loose weight on opposite schedules (she'll get serious and ill eat junk ill get serious and shes bringing home pizza) but i finally said i dont care and started jogging and eating healthy again. shes fine with it and encouraged me but now she wants to go on my jogs with me and by doing so she walks at about half the speed im use to and for about half the distance and then complains if i want to go farther either on my own or without her

    im just getting frustrated by it and needed to vent for a second


    Currently, my husband and I are at different fitness levels but he is working on his. I have made it clear to him, gently, that I have goals and that I will get my workouts done in order to reach my goals but I would love to find ways to incorporate working together when possible...such as doing some runs together, when that kind of workout fits my goals...or going to a favorite running spot and doing our own workout but meeting at the end and doing our cool down walk etc., we even went to the high school track and did some track work, we did different intervals but worked together.....be open to finding ways to make it work...ie I will also go for my run, and adjust it if necessary (ie end at 9 miles instead of 10 miles) so I could run the last mile with one of my kids at their pace etc...
  • bidimus
    bidimus Posts: 95 Member
    not sure if i should put this here but the last week or so my wife has been really getting under my skin and its weird and hard for me to explain

    me and her are both over weight and usually we are trying to loose weight on opposite schedules (she'll get serious and ill eat junk ill get serious and shes bringing home pizza) but i finally said i dont care and started jogging and eating healthy again. shes fine with it and encouraged me but now she wants to go on my jogs with me and by doing so she walks at about half the speed im use to and for about half the distance and then complains if i want to go farther either on my own or without her

    im just getting frustrated by it and needed to vent for a second

    I've gone through this same thing exactly. Does she have a training plan to get to a fitness level where she can run regularly? If so double your runs and run with her while she trains. If not suggest that she pick a plan and that you'd help her with it.

    In my case my wife could only run short distances. I kept telling her to get a plan (c25k or whatever, really didn't care which) but until then my runs with her weren't sufficient for my own goals so I ran separately as well as with her. Eventually I convinced her to try the Zombies Run 5k app with me. It never hurts to reestablish the basics so we did it together. I also tried to fit in one run a week of my own too which helped.

    Her pace was much slower which caused me some discomfort over time but it was nice running together. Eventually as she hit her 5k goal we started running separate but together. We'd start our together on an out and back course and I'd run the first half mile to a mile with her to warm up. Then I'd take off and run 4 while she ran 3. We'd meet up again near the end and that worked really well.

    The best part of finding the compromise was the mutual motivation when we'd urge each other to get out. Not that I ever need much encouragement to go run, but it does help and makes it so much more pleasant. Remember that running together doesn't have to mean pacing each other all the time either.
  • Serenitynow29
    Serenitynow29 Posts: 119 Member
    I have a similar problem - my wife is recovering from breast cancer treatment so cannot run as far or as fast as i can, so I run with her when she can, but when she needs to walk, i run ahead for a minute or two, turn around, run back and when she's ready, she runs again with me. it's inconvenient without doubt, but she's involved and happy thats she's involved, and seeing me running more then her encourages her to run more than she would ordinarily. it might be hard to deal with, but I'd say stick with it and continue to do ths together.

    I love a guy who loves his wife!

    You rock! And she rocks for not quitting during this battle! What an awesome team.
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
    Maybe you could find a babysitter while you guys run, go in a loop and drop your wife at home where she can have some time alone before you get your child from the babysitter when you're done your longer run. Make this a win win, not a "I'm leaving her alone withthe kid again" thing. You get your exercise, she gets the exercise she can do and spend time with you, three year old has a fun time with no tantrum. Run the idea past your wife and see what she thinks. She wants to spend time with you. Take that as a goid thing. Throw in a date night every couple of weeks.
  • julielh72
    julielh72 Posts: 92 Member
    I have a similar problem - my wife is recovering from breast cancer treatment so cannot run as far or as fast as i can, so I run with her when she can, but when she needs to walk, i run ahead for a minute or two, turn around, run back and when she's ready, she runs again with me. it's inconvenient without doubt, but she's involved and happy thats she's involved, and seeing me running more then her encourages her to run more than she would ordinarily. it might be hard to deal with, but I'd say stick with it and continue to do ths together.

    I love a guy who loves his wife!

    You rock! And she rocks for not quitting during this battle! What an awesome team.

    I agree...what a lovely husband.
  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,590 Member
    Paul's idea is what I do if we're out with the dogs and I want to run for a while: I take one of them and run ahead, then run back; the husband doesn't even do quick walking and I get bored dawdling along.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    not sure if i should put this here but the last week or so my wife has been really getting under my skin and its weird and hard for me to explain

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1iKEPzF1Js
  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,590 Member
    not sure if i should put this here but the last week or so my wife has been really getting under my skin and its weird and hard for me to explain

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1iKEPzF1Js
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I hope it's not quite that bad!
  • redwoodkestrel
    redwoodkestrel Posts: 339 Member

    My wife won't run. my preference would be to run.

    Supporting my wife's own bid for health and showing I'm happy she's supporting me takes precedence. I run when she cannot come, or I go out and do an additional workout if I'm really feeling I have to move.

    Sometimes it's tough keeping Abel Township supplied. :P

    Ha, my boyfriend doesn't like running either, but of course I enjoy the two of us going to work out together, so I often compromise and go on walks with him, and run on my own at different times. So yesterday when he wanted us to go for a walk, I put my Zombies, Run! episode on my phone without headphones and turned up the volume loud so we could both hear it while we walked together. He was laughing at the crazy number of underpants and mobile phones I was collecting, and I got to keep Abel Township supplied. :drinker:
  • 115s
    115s Posts: 344 Member
    Just let her join you until she can't anymore. But I agree, it does tend to cramp your style. She needs to work on her stamina on her own time, too. Don't stop if she cannot. Have a talk with her and let her know that you wish to continue, even if she does not. Sounds like she understands already, but I do agree... It can tend to cramp your style a bit.
  • adamtall
    adamtall Posts: 275 Member
    thanks everyone for the responses i didnt think id get such a big response :)

    last night was much better we did our small walk for a mile or so then i took my son with me and she went home to get some stuff done and i was able to get my jog in. she still complained because i was late getting home from work but it was ok because i made sure i cleaned up the house and got dinner and stuff for us
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,266 Member
    not sure if i should put this here but the last week or so my wife has been really getting under my skin and its weird and hard for me to explain

    me and her are both over weight and usually we are trying to loose weight on opposite schedules (she'll get serious and ill eat junk ill get serious and shes bringing home pizza) but i finally said i dont care and started jogging and eating healthy again. shes fine with it and encouraged me but now she wants to go on my jogs with me and by doing so she walks at about half the speed im use to and for about half the distance and then complains if i want to go farther either on my own or without her

    im just getting frustrated by it and needed to vent for a second

    I hear you on the slow walking thing. My husband usually comes with me on my walk at least once a week and not only does he want to leave a bit later than I do, he insists the entire time I need to slow down and then he complains until I give in and do half the distance I normally do. I don't mind it if its only once a week. I just tell myself to make sure to get in a second walk after dinner that day but if it was all the time I would scream. I also hate that he wants to talk the whole time so its no music in the earbuds for me or I cant hear him. I believe in doing things together but sometimes you just got to stand your ground and get your sweat on alone. I look forward to my alone time to work out/walk. Its all about give and take and finding ways to be active together. Maybe try swimming too. Its a great way to do something together for us: I do my laps while he just floats around. Occasionally we meet in the middle. Its all good, I just take it in stride as the ride of love.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
    Tell her you need to job alone and that you would be happy to go for a walk with here when you get home.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    There's no emotional crazy going on here...you've explained it yourself. You work a lot and have never managed to be on the same page where fitness and weight loss are concerned. She wants to do it together, spend time as a family and needs your support. She is probably very frustrated that she can't keep up with you and has to stop and go home and then deal with a 3 year old tantrum. There is no jealousy or wanting to hold you back and most likely feels guilty for wanting you to come home with her.

    Any compromise you can find that will help you both to get and stay on this mission together will benefit you both long term.

    Doing this together increases your chances of success.

    sounds about right.

    I would also suggest make time for HER- go "running" with HER- and then go on your own runs.

    I go for runs with people purely to help them- I never go running with someone expecting to actually run- I don't have runner friends- I'm the "runner friend" and I I don't run much- but it's significantly more than they can do- so when I go running with other people- I am under no delusions the run is for me- it's for them.

    It's bonus time with friends/family- but make time for your and your runs.

    Or.

    Second- go run on a track- she can run at her speed- you can run at yours but you are still near each other motivating each other.
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
    thanks everyone for the responses i didnt think id get such a big response :)

    last night was much better we did our small walk for a mile or so then i took my son with me and she went home to get some stuff done and i was able to get my jog in. she still complained because i was late getting home from work but it was ok because i made sure i cleaned up the house and got dinner and stuff for us

    You managed to make it work together, while also cleaning the house, taking care of the kid and getting dinner.

    You're awesome.