Would you date someone that has no job

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Tanie98
Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hypothetically speaking, lets say you met someone online or in person and then they tell you that their unemployed, Would that be a deal breaker?
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  • no_russian
    no_russian Posts: 893 Member
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    It wouldn't be a deal breaker if I liked everything else about this person.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
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    It wouldn't be a deal breaker if I liked everything else about this person.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    it all depends on why they're unemployed
  • lokepa
    lokepa Posts: 204 Member
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    Might not be a deal breaker, but it would definitely be the beginning of a conversation...
  • trojan_bb
    trojan_bb Posts: 699 Member
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    yes absolutely, I could have a homemade breakfast and dinner cooked for me everyday. Clothes taken to dry cleaner. cupcakes in the oven waiting for me. /dreaming
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    i dated someone that was homeless & unemployed once

    that answers that
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    In addition to what was mentioned above:

    1. Is that person independently wealthy? Ok
    2. Is that person currently working towards becoming gainfully employed? Ok
    3. Is that person a leach? HELLZ NOOOOO!!!!
  • ilfaith
    ilfaith Posts: 16,769 Member
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    I think if someone has a long history of gainful employment and finds themselves temporarily "between jobs," it wouldn't be an issue. If the person were chronically unemployed, not motivated to find work, and living in their mother's basement, it would be more of a problem.
  • _Stardust_
    _Stardust_ Posts: 124 Member
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    Unless they're independently wealthy, yes. HUGE dealbreaker.

    ETA that I've dated people who were unemployed before. It may seem antiquated, but in my experience it really does something bad to a man who has to depend on a woman for money.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
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    Depends...what's goin on downstairs?
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    For me, yes it's a deal breaker. I have enough people to take care of.

    Even if you're loaded and have money coming outta your ears, do SOMETHING.
  • Ump78
    Ump78 Posts: 342 Member
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    On the surface, seems like a simple no. But I know a few people that have taken year long sabbatical. So, given circumstances definitely make the difference.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    For me, yes it's a deal breaker. I have enough people to take care of.

    Even if you're loaded and have money coming outta your ears, do SOMETHING.

    I am like you.I thought I was the only one who found it be an issue. I have tried it one and I had to pay for everything since they had no reliable income
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Unemployed, actively looking, with prospects of getting a job in the short term? Yeah, probably.

    Willfully and ongoing unemployed? Nope.

    I dated a guy for a short time who was unemployed. I broke it off when I found out he was so determined to remain unemployed that he had researched and then faked a mental illness in order to obtain a disability pension so that he wouldn't have to look for work. Deliberate drain on society. The arrogance that requires is immense.
  • Strange_magic
    Strange_magic Posts: 370 Member
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    I have two children

    At this point I don't have the luxury of being in love with somebody who can't support themselves
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    Unless they're independently wealthy, yes. HUGE dealbreaker.

    ETA that I've dated people who were unemployed before. It may seem antiquated, but in my experience it really does something bad to a man who has to depend on a woman for money.

    yes its true. I have met someone in the past that was unemployed but they said they where looking for a job but then later on it became clear that they had no intention of working.Sometimes it depends on the situation as well
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    My ex was jobless for the first 6 months we dated, then he worked a seasonal job, then was jobless for another 2 months. I definitely supported him financially but he was honestly looking for jobs every day and would have taken ANYTHING offered to him. Eventually he got a really, really good job and has pretty much taken care of anything I've mentioned wanting and paid back every penny he owed me, he kept track - I didn't.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    Depends-- if they have a plan and are working toward implementing that plan I might give them some time to see how that goes. For example, when we started dating my husband was in the middle of the recruitment process for the Navy. He also had a minimum wage job, but even if he hadn't I would have given him a chance. But if time passed and nothing changed then yeah, deal breaker. And if there are no plans/job search at all just unemployment for no apparent reason then yeah, deal breaker.
  • ge105
    ge105 Posts: 268 Member
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    Really depends. Kinda different because we are in a relationship since before he was unemployed but my fiance currently is unemployed. He graduated last year but I have one year left in my program- a program for which I am payed to complete. I can afford to support us both so he is currently unemployed and waiting for me to finish my program. He could get a job but we discussed it and decided it would be better if instead he stayed at home and supported me (and also he is doing some business analysis to start up a company of his own next year). Pretty much love him for it as my program is really demanding. I was likewise unemployed this summer while he worked because we moved to a foreign country for his summer job and I flipped his pancakes and folded his undies the way he does for me now. Someone who is unemployed for no good reason or just living of the gov. are a NO GO (unless the gov. gives them a pension for a duty served).

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