not trying to start a fight here but just a point...
Replies
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I am fat and get shouted at in street by strangers, I have had eggs thrown at me in street on 3 separate occasions in different areas. Fat acceptance has not arrived. There are nasty people out there who will be cruel to anyone for any excuse they can come up with. Cruelty is not helpful to fat people or skinny people or anyone. People need kindness and good friends. Sometimes we need people to hold us accountable but in a kind way is always better than an abusive way. Very few people want to be unhealthy, people are overweight and underweight because they are struggling with something or many things. I do not see one as better than the other.0
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It's NotWhy is it more socially acceptable to be overweight or obese these days, but it is not acceptable to be skinny.0 -
I had a friend when I was in my late teens/early 20's who was super super skinny and couldn't gain weight as much as she tried. She came from a big Italian family and was constantly eating pasta lolol Like anyone with a 'weight problem' she faced her share of problems. She was so skinny that she hated wearing bathing suits and was forever being accused of having an eating disorder.
I remember shopping with her and sometimes she had to buy clothes in the kids section.
I guess I'm saying this because sometimes being too skinny can be just as difficult as being a little overweight. She was trying to gain weight to wear cute clothes just like most of us are trying to lose weight.
There's a new sort of 'body acceptence' movement but it needs to go both ways. No one should be 'weight shamed'.0 -
I've also noticed that if someone who is quite overweight, then loses weight and puts pictures up on Facebook, even tells them how amazing they look. I've seen slim female friends who have built up muscle and have improved their physique put pics up......people don't seem to like that so much! Just an observation!0
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The reality is, people need to stop concerning themselves with other people so much. Everyone is worried about celebrities and what their neighbors are doing, what co workers are wearing, who's gaining who's losing and really I just don't care. I've learned to live for me, my family and to be on a journey for me and my health in the body I was given. No more doubling up my socks when I run
Be happy within yourself.
QFT0 -
I consider it to be an overcorrection of a very real problem.
As most of us can tell you, being overweight sure doesn't give you a free pass in society. Progress has been made, probably because it's more common these days.
So after years of fat people being put down there was some push back. Eat a sandwich/real women have curves/etc. Trying to fight judgment with judgment.
I think today what we're finally seeing is more understanding and realization that criticizing another body type is never good. Which is progress.
^ This0 -
From the way I view it, it has been more acceptable for men to be fat and not wemon. I even remember being bullied by a boy is school that was as big as me, but well he was a boy so it didn't matter.0
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I have been sick for 2 weeks, and I am down 6lbs putting me below my weight, I should be 135-140. 140 is where I look great, I am currently only 129. Here are some of the comments I heard this weekend.
ummmm, you gonna actually eat something
I can see you hipbones and count your ribs, you need to do something
You have to stop exercising your to low
anorexic *****, eat something
WTF, you are wasting away
You look sickly that small
Look at you, your clothes are falling off you
Thats what I got in 2 days over the weekend....just an example!0 -
I consider it to be an overcorrection of a very real problem.
As most of us can tell you, being overweight sure doesn't give you a free pass in society. Progress has been made, probably because it's more common these days.
So after years of fat people being put down there was some push back. Eat a sandwich/real women have curves/etc. Trying to fight judgment with judgment.
I think today what we're finally seeing is more understanding and realization that criticizing another body type is never good. Which is progress.
Well said.0 -
I have been sick for 2 weeks, and I am down 6lbs putting me below my weight, I should be 135-140. 140 is where I look great, I am currently only 129. Here are some of the comments I heard this weekend.
ummmm, you gonna actually eat something
I can see you hipbones and count your ribs, you need to do something
You have to stop exercising your to low
anorexic *****, eat something
WTF, you are wasting away
You look sickly that small
Look at you, your clothes are falling off you
Thats what I got in 2 days over the weekend....just an example!
you forgot "eat, b!tch" at least I said it as I set a plate of steak, mac n cheese, baked beans and corn on the cob in front of you. :smooched:
seriously though . . . I've lost 40 pounds in the last two years through changing my eating habits, cardio and heavy lifting. I am by no means "skinny" but I still get the comments. People are *kitten*.0 -
I mean, I see your point. But let me ask you this question...
Which of the two types of people you have described are more likely to abuse this online internet tool?
Perhaps you just see more of one type than the other because of the format where you are finding it. You didn't really specify where you see this happening, but I'm sure you are more likely to find one here more than the other, and perhaps, because you see it so much here, you believe it to be more prevalent.0 -
confirmation bias0
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I have been sick for 2 weeks, and I am down 6lbs putting me below my weight, I should be 135-140. 140 is where I look great, I am currently only 129. Here are some of the comments I heard this weekend.
ummmm, you gonna actually eat something
I can see you hipbones and count your ribs, you need to do something
You have to stop exercising your to low
anorexic *****, eat something
WTF, you are wasting away
You look sickly that small
Look at you, your clothes are falling off you
Thats what I got in 2 days over the weekend....just an example!
you forgot "eat, b!tch" at least I said it as I set a plate of steak, mac n cheese, baked beans and corn on the cob in front of you. :smooched:
Thats why I love you!0 -
People are more likely to make fun of those who are different. In this case, it's largely a defense mechanism.0
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I have never really been heavy enough to get teased (at least not to my face), but when I was a "tween" and a young teenager I was VERY skinny. It was just how I was naturally. I got called anorexic constantly. When I went through puberty and gained some weight, that went away.
I think people make fun of others either to impress others or because of their own insecurity.0 -
I consider it to be an overcorrection of a very real problem.
As most of us can tell you, being overweight sure doesn't give you a free pass in society. Progress has been made, probably because it's more common these days.
So after years of fat people being put down there was some push back. Eat a sandwich/real women have curves/etc. Trying to fight judgment with judgment.
I think today what we're finally seeing is more understanding and realization that criticizing another body type is never good. Which is progress.
Excellent post.0 -
I don't live in a world where folks focus on fatties or skinnies... SO I don't obsess on either...0
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Seriously, anyone that thinks it's ok to make fun of or judge another person based on body type (or race, sexual orientation, style of dress, abilities/disabilities, hair color, freckles, some physical attribute that really has nothing to do with the type of person they are), needs to grow up or at least mature a little. Don't we teach our kids that we are all different and that's ok?0
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The reality is, people need to stop concerning themselves with other people so much. Everyone is worried about celebrities and what their neighbors are doing, what co workers are wearing, who's gaining who's losing and really I just don't care. I've learned to live for me, my family and to be on a journey for me and my health in the body I was given. No more doubling up my socks when I run Be happy within yourself.
QFT
Dumb question...what does QFT mean??0 -
I'm not sure things are any worse about being skinny now than they ever were before. Although the number of overweight people is really starting to crowd out the number of skinny people...so maybe things are changing as you say, I just haven't seen it.
In the US we're well beyond "starting to". Currently it's estimated that up to about 70% or so of Americans are clinically overweight.
This is a very fat nation.0 -
The reality is, people need to stop concerning themselves with other people so much. Everyone is worried about celebrities and what their neighbors are doing, what co workers are wearing, who's gaining who's losing and really I just don't care. I've learned to live for me, my family and to be on a journey for me and my health in the body I was given. No more doubling up my socks when I run Be happy within yourself.
QFT
Dumb question...what does QFT mean??
Quote For Truth0 -
I totally understand and I'm not sure why it is that way, except that perhaps because more than 1/2 the population are overweight.
So, I have gained some weight over the last year. I used to be a size 2 but I got an overuse injury in my periformis during training for a half marathon last year (ran the race anyway in December) plus I am going through Perimenopause and apparently the calories in minus calories out doesn't equal weight loss with the hormonal changes (I am fighting this, though).
Anyway, I had to go get some new pants for work b/c I usually work from home and none of my 2s fit; though I had some 4 petites, they too do not fit. I was trying on pants and the size 4s worked for me, however they were mega long, so I had to go with petites. Well, the 6 petite was a little snug, so I had to go for 8 petite and nearly had a cow. My husband said all the other ladies around looked like they were ready to do a smack down on me because I was crying about having to buy an 8....
To me it isn't about someone elses size...I am not competing with them; I only care what I wear....and right now I have 2 pairs of pants that fit and HATE that they are a size 8; even if it is petite. My whole closet is full of 2s....all my friends say..."oh-boo-hoo, you're not a zero - get over it". I will, as soon as I get this fat gain back off me.0 -
I have been sick for 2 weeks, and I am down 6lbs putting me below my weight, I should be 135-140. 140 is where I look great, I am currently only 129. Here are some of the comments I heard this weekend.
ummmm, you gonna actually eat something
I can see you hipbones and count your ribs, you need to do something
You have to stop exercising your to low
anorexic *****, eat something
WTF, you are wasting away
You look sickly that small
Look at you, your clothes are falling off you
Thats what I got in 2 days over the weekend....just an example!
I'm curious though...... you've obviously lost a lot of weight according to your ticker.... didn't you get just as many comments or more when you were overweight?? And although none of these comments are acceptable, I'm thinking surely they were from "friends" or family, not random strangers. NO body shaming is okay, no matter which "side" it's on... I just know that in my case, all comments I've ever heard to overweight people are HORRIBLE and made even by random strangers on the street. All comments I've ever heard made toward slender people were more of a "man, I wish I had that "problem" kind of comment, OR something a little more negative by people closer to them, not just random strangers.... I don't know, I'm not by any means speaking for everyone, everywhere.... just an observation of my 50+ yrs on the planet....0 -
From what I've noticed:
It's still far more socially preferable to be on the thinner side.
It's still far more socially offensive to comment on a person being fat.
It's still far more socially acceptable to comment on a person being thin.
"Thin shaming" does exist. But since thin/fit/lean/ripped/etc is still the accepted preference, many people feel perfectly comfortable taking jabs, or having mock "concern", for thinner people and just expect them to take it. Why? Because the "privileged" class is expected to be so happy to be the preference that their feelings can't really be hurt.
So if a fat woman comes up to a thin woman and says "you need to eat a cheeseburger" it's not thought of generally as insulting as the thin woman rebutting "you need to eat a whole lot less cheeseburgers".
Of course thin people's feelings can be hurt. But fat people, in general, come up so ashamed and embarrassed about our bodies that many of us really didn't imagine that a thin person could be hurt by having their thinness, often the object of our envy, called out.0 -
QFT
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Dumb question...what does QFT mean??
[/quote]
Quote For Truth
[/quote]
Ahhhh Thank you I would never have guessed that one
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Everyone has different experiences based on who their friends and family are. They then project their experiences on "society". I don't think either one is more generally accepted than the other.0
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It shouldn't be acceptable either way to ridicule someone for their weight...
However...
When someone is unhealthily underweight they aren't always aware they're too thin. If they're suffering from an eating disorder for example they may actually believe they need to lose more and are too big.. so then it's okay to call them out on it but only if you know them and have a pretty good inkling they have an eating disorder. No one saying anything to these people for fear of offending them can really fuel and prolong an eating disorder because "I must be okay because no one says anything" or "all I get is positive comments about my weight". If people go around telling these people "You look so beautiful because your hip bones jut out" that's not going to help.
When people are overweight, whether it's through an eating disorder or otherwise, they usually are pretty well aware they're overweight and need to lose weight. Pointing this out is pretty much only going to be hurtful and fuel more weight gain and increased poor self esteem. Helping people feel better about their current selves first, even when they're overweight, can help those people then have the confidence and self esteem to actually begin to lose weight. You can't treat both sides the same.
The body acceptance and "curves are good" movement is a backlack against what for an incredibly long time has been the "thinner= better"! status quo. With time it'll calm down again I think.
But just because people are saying curves are beautiful doesn't mean they're saying being thin isn't beautiful too. Sometimes people do outright say "thin isn't beautiful" but often what people are actually trying to do is appreciate a different body type- curvy and there's nothing wrong with that in itself.0 -
I have been sick for 2 weeks, and I am down 6lbs putting me below my weight, I should be 135-140. 140 is where I look great, I am currently only 129. Here are some of the comments I heard this weekend.
ummmm, you gonna actually eat something
I can see you hipbones and count your ribs, you need to do something
You have to stop exercising your to low
anorexic *****, eat something
WTF, you are wasting away
You look sickly that small
Look at you, your clothes are falling off you
Thats what I got in 2 days over the weekend....just an example!
I'm curious though...... you've obviously lost a lot of weight according to your ticker.... didn't you get just as many comments or more when you were overweight?? And although none of these comments are acceptable, I'm thinking surely they were from "friends" or family, not random strangers. NO body shaming is okay, no matter which "side" it's on... I just know that in my case, all comments I've ever heard to overweight people are HORRIBLE and made even by random strangers on the street. All comments I've ever heard made toward slender people were more of a "man, I wish I had that "problem" kind of comment, OR something a little more negative by people closer to them, not just random strangers.... I don't know, I'm not by any means speaking for everyone, everywhere.... just an observation of my 50+ yrs on the planet....
I don't think it matters who the comments are coming from. Personally, I take these type of comments from people I know harder than when they come from random strangers. The point is that regardless of whether someone is calling you fat or giving you grief for being too skinny (in their mind) the comments are still hurtful and unacceptable. Even with as proud as I am of myself for how far I've come, all it takes is one "oh my, you're wasting away to nothing" comment to make me hate the girl in the mirror all over again the same way I did when I was over weight.0 -
I work at the corporate level of plus-size retail, so my impression is a little different (from someone who can be considered skinny)
In the last few years people have in general become more understanding that to a certain extent your body is your body and that's the way it is. Some people by genetics or illness are naturally skinny. On the other hand, some people by genetics or illness are naturally bigger. So there is this huge self esteem push of -"this is literally my body, its not getting any better/worse."
Which I think is fair and true for many people. Therefore, the confidence and acceptance push is to tell people to stop trying to make me feel bad or that there is something wrong with me when there is not.
Just cause you are plus-size or bigger does not mean that you are unhealthy. Also it is no ones business but your own. Being confident in who you are at the mental level can also empower you to make the desired changes to your body (as much as possible)0 -
I honestly think I have no right to comment on someone's situation if I don't have a stake in it. Such as I do have a right to look out for my husband's health (to a limited extent, he is an adult and responsible for himself) and have a responsibility for my kids. Other than that, unless someone asks, I don't see why I should say anything about someone else's body size? Perhaps exception would be if I saw something of major concern - and then I would either approach the person privately or a loved one.
Such as a year or so ago saw messages between my daughter & her friend (requirement for my kids to have online social site access is for me to have access to their accounts) that made me concerned as this girl was bragging about having nothing but water & gum all day, and other things that made me concerned about her heading for an ED. So I contacted her mother.0
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