not trying to start a fight here but just a point...

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, attractive, and fit. The problem comes when we assign value to a person based on their weight or other physical feature. Looking at someone who is lean and saying, "she/he must be some skinny b*tch" is just as bad as saying that someone is weak or lazy because they are overweight or obese. We need to stop equating appearance with value as a human being.

okay well i have no idea what a 'dogwhistle' thread is, i assume you mean i was looking to start a fight or something, but no,, i am actually seriously surprised how many people have put their opinion across, and its actually nice to see people of all backgrounds putting their point across. i have been a member of this site for over 2 years now, and have almost always actively posted about weight loss and other things, i've helped other people and others have helped me. I have lost my weight through this site and would NEVER purposefully try to start any disputes, i was just curious how other people felt about the personal experiences i have seen through my time as a size 18 through a size 4. yes maybe i was a little upset when writing the original post so if it came across badly i apologise, that was not however my intent.

I don't know what a dog whistle thread is, either. By context, I'm guessing that it's a call to people who hear something others do not. But I've no real idea what they're supposed to be hearing that nobody else does.

There is a bit of a double standard here.

Those who are overweight and post about binging and guilt/sadness are encouraged and supported. Very few suggest help, even when the person discusses not being able to stop themselves from eating or feeling guilty about overeating.

Those who are underweight are immediately diagnosed with an eating disorder in an often dismissive and/or insulting way.

I think it's because people have yet to catch on that overeating is as much a mental issue as under eating.

I wonder this all the time. I hate it when people tell me I am too skinny, or I need to eat more. OR If we are eating out and I only get salad or something from the "healthy" menu and I get made fun of. -__- But if I ate unhealthy and ate the things I WANT to eat, I would be overweight/obese and I would get told that I need to eat healthier. You cant win.

I don't think it matters one way or another. People will always find something to whine about or someone to cut down to make themselves feel better.

^^^^ this

people are insecure in their own skin so it makes them feel better to belittle others, fat, skinny, thin, bald hair, porcupine hair. whatever it is . they will find a reason to mock and judge because than they dont have to face their own insecurities within themselves and realize they lack confidence that others have. so they try to tear down other people..

I should probably mention that I don't agree with the double standard and I don't think that it's fair that an obese men is under less scrutiny than women - although I do believe that it is the case.

i have the lowest self esteem,

It's apparent. Stop trying to tear others down. It won't help you feel better.

Instead, we should accept each other and work to lift each other up. Good luck.

Have you never hung out with a bunch of women? It's almost like it's their sole purpose in life to tear others down. (Of course not all, but a big majority)

I am a woman, have had primarily female friends my whole life, and have never had friends like the women you describe. The "women are catty" stereotype is terrible.

Then maybe women should stop being catty. If you are fortunate enough to have close long term friends in your social circle, then great! I can see it being friendly and supportive. But for others, like myself, it's more difficult when you have to make new friends and try to filter out the catty women from the supportive women. My husband is military, so with each move I have to find a new circle of friends. In MY experience most women don't like outsiders, and will tear them down in the blink of an eye. Once they become familiar with you, and get to know you, their attitude usually changes, but in the beginning they are ruthless and down right mean. By the time I meet and develop a good group of friends who are supportive, it's time to move again. The process can be tedious and exhausting.... And emotionally draining.

The first thing that comes to mind is "Fit Mom", Maria Kang’s "What's Your Excuse" photos. I thought her transformation was pretty incredible and would be inspiring for many women. What really surprised me was the amount of women who were insulted by her pictures and motto, and the number of negative comments by people who accused her of "fat-shaming" women. I can understand where some would be jealous and feel somewhat insulted, but that doesn't mean those people need to go into attack mode and start throwing their own insults against "Fit Mom". Insults, regardless of whether they are directed at overweight or underweight people, are wrong.

More ridiculous than the outrage (I can see how it could be taken as offensive, if you are overly sensitive) is the copy cats who posted pictures saying "what's my excuse? I put my kids needs ahead of my own, you should try it sometime". Or any of the 100 other similar accusations of Maria Kang being a terrible mother.

i have the lowest self esteem,

It's apparent. Stop trying to tear others down. It won't help you feel better.

Instead, we should accept each other and work to lift each other up. Good luck.

Have you never hung out with a bunch of women? It's almost like it's their sole purpose in life to tear others down. (Of course not all, but a big majority)

I am a woman, have had primarily female friends my whole life, and have never had friends like the women you describe. The "women are catty" stereotype is terrible.

Then maybe women should stop being catty. If you are fortunate enough to have close long term friends in your social circle, then great! I can see it being friendly and supportive. But for others, like myself, it's more difficult when you have to make new friends and try to filter out the catty women from the supportive women. My husband is military, so with each move I have to find a new circle of friends. In MY experience most women don't like outsiders, and will tear them down in the blink of an eye. Once they become familiar with you, and get to know you, their attitude usually changes, but in the beginning they are ruthless and down right mean. By the time I meet and develop a good group of friends who are supportive, it's time to move again. The process can be tedious and exhausting.... And emotionally draining.

I've never lived in a city longer than four years at the longest, so I totally get that it can be hard meeting a new circle of supportive lady friends. In my experience, though, being sweet and supportive earns you sweet and supportive friends. I haven't had the experience of being "torn down in the blink of an eye" since middle school.

I think if you assume that women are catty, you'll soon find yourself surrounded by catty women.

i have the lowest self esteem,

It's apparent. Stop trying to tear others down. It won't help you feel better.

Instead, we should accept each other and work to lift each other up. Good luck.

Have you never hung out with a bunch of women? It's almost like it's their sole purpose in life to tear others down. (Of course not all, but a big majority)

I am a woman, have had primarily female friends my whole life, and have never had friends like the women you describe. The "women are catty" stereotype is terrible.

Then maybe women should stop being catty. If you are fortunate enough to have close long term friends in your social circle, then great! I can see it being friendly and supportive. But for others, like myself, it's more difficult when you have to make new friends and try to filter out the catty women from the supportive women. My husband is military, so with each move I have to find a new circle of friends. In MY experience most women don't like outsiders, and will tear them down in the blink of an eye. Once they become familiar with you, and get to know you, their attitude usually changes, but in the beginning they are ruthless and down right mean. By the time I meet and develop a good group of friends who are supportive, it's time to move again. The process can be tedious and exhausting.... And emotionally draining.

I've never lived in a city longer than four years at the longest, so I totally get that it can be hard meeting a new circle of supportive lady friends. In my experience, though, being sweet and supportive earns you sweet and supportive friends. I haven't had the experience of being "torn down in the blink of an eye" since middle school.

I think if you assume that women are catty, you'll soon find yourself surrounded by catty women.

Anybody who knows me would laugh about this. I'm one of the most outgoing, nonjudgmental and welcoming person around. I give everybody a chance, and a second and a third. Not so much a fourth.

I may be in the minority here, but I think the whole trend of labeling any personal comment anyone makes as 'shaming' has gone way too far. When did the world become a place where no one ever expected to have to deal with comments they find unwelcome? Just as on the playground, there will always be mean people - and I do not claim to understand how the circumstances of their lives have unfortunately molded them to be so. It just has to be dealt with. There is NEVER going to be a time where we manage to PC out of existence every single comment about race, size, socioeconomic status, etc. If that is what you are looking for, you are doomed to disappointment. Even if it could be so, I would not want to live in a world like that. Want to know why? It is 100% fake. Just because people don't say something does not mean they are not thinking it, judging you, and slotting you into a certain category in their mental framework. I would absolutely rather know what people honestly think of me than have them pretend to be nice because of ever-increasing societal pressure to keep silent lest they hurt my special snowflake feelings.

I think the whole PC movement in general is doing us a much bigger disservice than it is helping. Well intentioned people are nervous now about discussing meaningful topics because they may possibly offend someone, somewhere. If honest discussion can't comfortably happen, then the root of interpersonal problems will never be reached and worked out. We will all just play nice and only say 'acceptable' things and never really get to know each other. That creates a group-think atmosphere that I find WAY more disturbing than a few people calling me fat. I would rather have to work at salving my ego than resign myself to becoming one of the Borg.

This is obviously not pertinent to the FB memes, car shouters and food throwers - because, in general, the only cure for *kitten* disease is time.

I may be in the minority here, but I think the whole trend of labeling any personal comment anyone makes as 'shaming' has gone way too far. When did the world become a place where no one ever expected to have to deal with comments they find unwelcome? Just as on the playground, there will always be mean people - and I do not claim to understand how the circumstances of their lives have unfortunately molded them to be so. It just has to be dealt with. There is NEVER going to be a time where we manage to PC out of existence every single comment about race, size, socioeconomic status, etc. If that is what you are looking for, you are doomed to disappointment. Even if it could be so, I would not want to live in a world like that. Want to know why? It is 100% fake. Just because people don't say something does not mean they are not thinking it, judging you, and slotting you into a certain category in their mental framework. I would absolutely rather know what people honestly think of me than have them pretend to be nice because of ever-increasing societal pressure to keep silent lest they hurt my special snowflake feelings.

I think the whole PC movement in general is doing us a much bigger disservice than it is helping. Well intentioned people are nervous now about discussing meaningful topics because they may possibly offend someone, somewhere. If honest discussion can't comfortably happen, then the root of interpersonal problems will never be reached and worked out. We will all just play nice and only say 'acceptable' things and never really get to know each other. That creates a group-think atmosphere that I find WAY more disturbing than a few people calling me fat. I would rather have to work at salving my ego than resign myself to becoming one of the Borg.

This is obviously not pertinent to the FB memes, car shouters and food throwers - because, in general, the only cure for *kitten* disease is time.

You're not in the minority. Or maybe you are, and I am too. The stupid FB memes irritate me, but so what? I can handle being irritated. Someone was snarky to me on the internet?? Oh noes! That doesn't mean that it's socially unacceptable to be skinny, it means that some people are kind of tactless. My friends who are fat, overall, hear way more cr@p about their bodies than I ever have about mine. (Of course, most of my friends, regardless of their size, don't have to be criticized about their bodies at all, because thankfully most people don't suck. When it comes up, though, it's unfortunately the larger girls who hear it more often.)