Why can't I stop binging (ED recovery)

2»

Replies

  • cosmiqrust
    cosmiqrust Posts: 214 Member
    it's all just part of the process. your body has been through a long famine and it's reasonably hungry. as much as it hurts, it's best to just let it do its thing and forgive yourself. once your body balances out it shouldn't be a problem anymore. i would recommend you see a nutritionist if you aren't already -- i've been trying to recover with little to no help for the past 4 years and i think that time frame speaks for itself.
  • chene249
    chene249 Posts: 33 Member
    Hm i actually LOST weight almost 3 days after my "binge." Basically, i am back to where i was almost 3 months ago.. (TW) I lost all the "gains" i made: around 1.5-2kg... (so within three months, I thought i had at least gained that much in fat/muscle etc. But because i lost it so easily, does that mean I've lost muscle? or lost fat? Or was my 3 month gain nothing at all but water weight?

    I get that when people go on "binges" they may drastically gain a lot of weight (due to water, bloating, sodium etc.). So is it the same for losing weight too? Perhaps, that weight will come back on the next day? lol....

    (In other words, I am petrified i lost the weight. On one hand, I know i need to gain weight, but on the other, seeing that i CAN lose weight makes me want to continue doing so. My mind is conflicted:

    1) Woo, i can lose weight = i want to maintain this underweight BMI even though i know its bad for my health.

    2) FML. i lost the weight, which means I need to eat MORE and gain MORE - of which I am terrified of doing)

    I do not binge at all for emotional reasons - sometimes i force myself to binge so i can put on weight. But then the guilt and stuff floods afterwards and i crumble. I've "tried" to put up with the wave of anxiety and depressive emotions - but then i get too weak, and then restrict or exercise excessively... sigh this is never ending.
  • chene249
    chene249 Posts: 33 Member
    I have eaten around 1800 calories so far and my last meal for the day (dinner) is going to be around 1100 calories more. I ate healthy today, 2 meals, 2 snacks, but even the idea of going OVER 2500+ calories freaks me out. I know it's not even a binge. But sigh, its overwhelming
  • Kiyy
    Kiyy Posts: 91 Member
    Cene,
    My issues are different however my therapist told me to talk to my food. LOL sounds NUTS.

    Now i do three things that work

    1. when I am having a day that I'm Hungary I make a bowl of fresh broccoli steamed in the microwave with butter pam speray and salt. _ or i make a salad with fresh broccoli to fill me. that was advice from a friend
    2. If my mind gets thinking about a food that I usually binge with I just say" I'm in control not the food" I make a decision to control what im doing and that works for me now.
    3. I have a photo on my phone that reminds me what my goal is. Having a clear goal keeps me on track
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
    Hm i actually LOST weight almost 3 days after my "binge." Basically, i am back to where i was almost 3 months ago.. (TW) I lost all the "gains" i made: around 1.5-2kg... (so within three months, I thought i had at least gained that much in fat/muscle etc. But because i lost it so easily, does that mean I've lost muscle? or lost fat? Or was my 3 month gain nothing at all but water weight?

    I get that when people go on "binges" they may drastically gain a lot of weight (due to water, bloating, sodium etc.). So is it the same for losing weight too? Perhaps, that weight will come back on the next day? lol....

    (In other words, I am petrified i lost the weight. On one hand, I know i need to gain weight, but on the other, seeing that i CAN lose weight makes me want to continue doing so. My mind is conflicted:

    1) Woo, i can lose weight = i want to maintain this underweight BMI even though i know its bad for my health.

    2) FML. i lost the weight, which means I need to eat MORE and gain MORE - of which I am terrified of doing)

    I do not binge at all for emotional reasons - sometimes i force myself to binge so i can put on weight. But then the guilt and stuff floods afterwards and i crumble. I've "tried" to put up with the wave of anxiety and depressive emotions - but then i get too weak, and then restrict or exercise excessively... sigh this is never ending.

    Chances are, your body is still trying to repair itself from the damage done during starvation. At first, that will probably be at least partially water. Just keep eating lots of good foods, and make sure you're getting at least the sufficient amounts of fat and protein (around 1g/kg of total body weight for fat and 2g/kg body weight for protein), so that your body can heal.

    Weight gain, just like weight loss, isn't linear, so don't freak out over a single day's fluctuation. Unless your recovery plan requires you to weigh on a daily basis, it might be good to try not to (or, alternatively, have someone else read the number and keep track for you, that way someone knows what direction the trend is going). Just focus on retraining yourself that it's okay to eat a lot of food.
  • kellehbeans
    kellehbeans Posts: 838 Member
    I do not often sit and read every reply to a topic, however this one, I could relate to so well, and I read all the advice here. Thank you to everyone for the more helpful comments.

    OP - I binge for no reason too. I starved myself on about 300-500kcals a day for around 6 months. Then I put the weight back on. Then I turned to MFP about 4 years later and ate at 1400, then eventually 1800. Then all of a sudden, I started binging. I've always had an extremely bad relationship with food, and yes, I am trying to recover but the waiting lists for help in the UK are ridiculous, so my progress has stalled - in fact, my problem has got worse. I have no emotional reasons to binge, just like you, so I'm interested to know if my body is actually still trying to repair itself from about 6-7 years ago.
  • Raynne413
    Raynne413 Posts: 1,527 Member
    I do not often sit and read every reply to a topic, however this one, I could relate to so well, and I read all the advice here. Thank you to everyone for the more helpful comments.

    OP - I binge for no reason too. I starved myself on about 300-500kcals a day for around 6 months. Then I put the weight back on. Then I turned to MFP about 4 years later and ate at 1400, then eventually 1800. Then all of a sudden, I started binging. I've always had an extremely bad relationship with food, and yes, I am trying to recover but the waiting lists for help in the UK are ridiculous, so my progress has stalled - in fact, my problem has got worse. I have no emotional reasons to binge, just like you, so I'm interested to know if my body is actually still trying to repair itself from about 6-7 years ago.

    You may be eating more now, but looking at your food diary, your fat levels are still rather low, usually in the 30-40g range,and some days you have rather large deficits 500-800 calories. I have found that getting around 60-100g is ideal for me. Sometimes I even get up to 115-120. I know a lot of people would think this is WAY too high, but it works to keep my cravings and urges in check, so I don't care. Maybe try upping your fat and see if that helps?
  • GYMEIGHT
    GYMEIGHT Posts: 1 Member
    Maybe you're just having a stressful day, put it behind you and go forward from tomorrow. You know what you've done and you know how to fix it. Onward and upward. X
  • 1stplace4health
    1stplace4health Posts: 523 Member
    Eat the correct amount of calories
    Increase your protein
    And cut out sugar
    Try it for a week & you won't want to binge
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    I understand. One bite of junk food sets off this chain reaction. I recommend seeing a nutritionist to develop strategies for replacing unhealthy foods with healthy ones on a sustainable daily basis so that you gain good healthy muscle and the right proportion of fat, and have energy and strength. Foods like eggs, yogurt, fruit, cheese in moderation, whole wheat bread, and healthy cereals would be good things to have on hand for breakfast. I'd suggest not keeping junk foods in the house. They really are addictive for a lot of people, and you don't want to set yourself up for another binge/restrict cycle, you want to get out of these cycles by forming stable and healthy eating patterns.
  • Raynne413
    Raynne413 Posts: 1,527 Member
    I understand. One bite of junk food sets off this chain reaction. I recommend seeing a nutritionist to develop strategies for replacing unhealthy foods with healthy ones on a sustainable daily basis so that you gain good healthy muscle and the right proportion of fat, and have energy and strength. Foods like eggs, yogurt, fruit, cheese in moderation, whole wheat bread, and healthy cereals would be good things to have on hand for breakfast. I'd suggest not keeping junk foods in the house. They really are addictive for a lot of people, and you don't want to set yourself up for another binge/restrict cycle, you want to get out of these cycles by forming stable and healthy eating patterns.

    This is NOT good advice for someone dealing with an eating disorder. Cutting foods out complete is what sets you up for another binge. For someone with an eating disorder, we HAVE to get past this black and white, this is good, this is bad, kind of thinking.
  • hamps84
    hamps84 Posts: 1 Member
    A lot of times binging is caused when we aren't receiving the proper balance of macro and micro nutrients through out the day which causes hormonal imbalances, insulin imbalances, etc. Eating whole foods is really important because a lot of the processed foods actually have addictive additives in them - which actually can be a culprit to overindulging. ( I used to really struggle with this too and find that when I go back to eating processed foods here and there I totally over eat every time!)

    Here is an interesting article that talks about the common food additives and their effect on teh body & mind. :)http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/03/21/addictive-junk-food.aspx
  • reachingforarainbow
    reachingforarainbow Posts: 224 Member
    Hey, Just my 2 cents. Chances are you might eat a lot once in awhile. If you are legitamitely feeling out of control when you eat, then I would suggest bringing it up with your therapist and parents. Try if you can to call someone if you feel like you are in the middle of a binge, or after if you need someone to make you not feel guilty.

    I'm not saying all those yummy foods you mentioned are bad, I am going to say that you might want to get in some kind of dairy and/ or protein (aka milk and/or eggs). Also, you might want to add some fruit. I find it really helps if you like sugar to eat fruit. And yes please do treat yourself to other foods as well, but if your worried about binging I think it might help to make sure you have all the food groups in there. (because when you binge, your body is trying to make up for deficencies)

Categories