How to compliment my boyfriend on his weight loss?

summer92008
summer92008 Posts: 202
in Health and Weight Loss
So I'm the one on MFP...but he is the one who is really dropping weight! I've been on this journey for about 3 months now, and since then have lost 11 lbs (5'6'', 138 lbs) so I was never really overweight. But my boyfriend has always carried around extra weight the whole time I've known him. I love him just the way he is. I never try to mention his weight or eating habits because I know he is insecure about it and don't want to hurt his feelings. However, he has said to me before that I have made him feel bad by saying things like, "Are you gonna eat all of that?" I never wanted to hurt his feelings and honestly didn't mean it in a bad way (although now I understand how that's the only way he could take it). I've expressed in general terms since then that I want us both to be more conscious about our eating and lifestyle so we can live long, healthy lives with each other. My minor weight loss must've rubbed off on him because I can tell he has lost quite a bit of weight. He even said he has lost weight by the way his clothes fit but he doesn't know how much he's lost because he never weighs himself. He is 6'4'' and I'd say he weighs maybe around 300 lbs? I'm not sure...


But anyway...
how can I bring up that I am noticing a weight loss and body change in him in a nice, supportive way?
I don't want him to feel self conscious and I don't want to come off as rude.
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Replies

  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
    Instead of commenting on the weight loss itself, just make a general statement that he is looking great.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    I'll be in this thread for a while

    lil-hoops-fan.gif
  • Blueseraphchaos
    Blueseraphchaos Posts: 843 Member
    I agree, just tell him he's looking great. You could also offer to exercise together so he keeps it up, if you aren't already - "hey, wanna go for a walk after dinner?" I've gotten a lot of "you look great" without mentioning weight loss at all, and i think that may be the most tactful way.
  • laurie_lebel
    laurie_lebel Posts: 2
    I can't identify. I tell the hubs he's a stud daily and tell him he's looking leaner if he seems to be, he never seems offended that he might have been chubbier previous.

    Um, if he's a bit sensitive you could always coyly tell him he's looking taller. Or something you can't put your finger on but he's looking good. I really dont' think he'd take offense to the compliment how ever you phrase it.
  • Blueseraphchaos
    Blueseraphchaos Posts: 843 Member
    That gif butchered my phone's browser! Sigh.
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
    bang him
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
    Jump his bones more often...extra cardio for you both too!
  • maroonmango211
    maroonmango211 Posts: 908 Member
    Compliment him on his physical features, not weight loss specific, but just let him know you find him good looking/ sexy/ hot/ handsome etc. Even if you always have, he might take the compliment more to heart now, as well as its always a good thing to remind your partner anyways. Also get a little touchy feely, doesn't hurt to get a little more physical (I am assuming you already are there in your relationship).
  • _BearNecessities_
    _BearNecessities_ Posts: 432 Member
    bang him

    ^^ This. Plus BJs.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Give him a hug and say you can feel that he lost weight.

    "Skinny" isn't a bad word for us so my husband and I will use it. *Hug* "You feel skinnier." Not sure if that works for you or not.
  • manshusgr
    manshusgr Posts: 30 Member
    Just say I love you
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    Have more sex with him :P

    Also wanted to mention that when I ask my BF if he's going to eat all that, it actually means that if not, I'm going to finish it for him hahah.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    What the jumping people said.

    Alternatively its hard becayse we dont know him and he sounds a bit sensitive, secretive and unpredictable. At some stage maybe he will let you in and you can talk about it together, its a bit silly if he thinks you dont notice. the danger is catch him on the wrong day and he might take it badly. Revert to the jumping strategy its a winner.

    The hugs and the love were nice.
  • tquill
    tquill Posts: 300 Member
    I like to be told things directly... not tip-toeing with hidden compliments. The truth usually works best. "You've lost weight, lookin' good"
  • summer92008
    summer92008 Posts: 202
    Welll.....

    As far as the "private" things go, yeah, we've been dating for 6 years and that is a pretty routine thing so I don't know how to increase the amount lol. But I guess I can make him feel more special during it lol.
    I could say sexy things to him but I'm more of a sweet girl than sexy. I blush easily, even 6 years in!
    But I will just try to say these things to him like you guys said! :wink:
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    why is this so hard? you say "hey babe, looking good! hard work is paying off."
  • The_Aly_Wei
    The_Aly_Wei Posts: 844 Member
    bang him

    ^^ This. Plus BJs.

    Yep.
  • summer92008
    summer92008 Posts: 202
    I'm just afraid that if I up the sex with him or something all of a sudden, he will think I'm more attracted to him since he has lost weight. I'm afraid I will be indirectly saying that if you gain weight back, I won't have sex with you as much because I don't find you as attractive. I don't know. Maybe I'm just over thinking it! I tend to do that!
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Tell him his bick has been looking bigger lately.
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
    I'm just afraid that if I up the sex with him or something all of a sudden, he will think I'm more attracted to him since he has lost weight. I'm afraid I will be indirectly saying that if you gain weight back, I won't have sex with you as much because I don't find you as attractive. I don't know. Maybe I'm just over thinking it! I tend to do that!

    I know jeez what guy would want more sex?
  • randomworldgirl
    randomworldgirl Posts: 106 Member
    Tell him you want him.... and tell him a lot.... on the phone, over text messages, through email. That's all you have to say. It will click... trust me. Don't make it about the weight.
  • randomworldgirl
    randomworldgirl Posts: 106 Member
    I'm just afraid that if I up the sex with him or something all of a sudden, he will think I'm more attracted to him since he has lost weight. I'm afraid I will be indirectly saying that if you gain weight back, I won't have sex with you as much because I don't find you as attractive. I don't know. Maybe I'm just over thinking it! I tend to do that!

    If he says something like that... just tell him that you noticed that he has more self confidence now... something like that.
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
    I don't see how saying something like "You look like you've lost some weight, have you? Well good job on you" could be taken wrong. But if that's not something you think he would like to hear, just tell him he looks really good. Nothing to do with weight or anything.

    You could also bring the weight loss up by saying his clothes are getting baggy and then say good job losing weight.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    bang him

    ^ What I was going to say.
  • jchenks
    jchenks Posts: 164 Member
    I'm with everyone on the "Just compliment him" route.

    Don't make it about the weight and just mention it casually if you guys are dressing up a little bit more than normal before a date or something.

    You are thinking about it a little too much. I understand what you mean but I don't think men are really like that. If he does mention something along the lines of "oh, did you not think I looked good before I lost weight?" then I'd say " (insert significant others name here) I've been with you for 6 years and throughout all of the that time, I've thought you looked good. I'm complimenting you because you are working hard and its paying off and I'm supporting you :)"
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
    Guys aren't as complicated as you think. We generally don't care whether or not you found us attractive before...we just care if you'd bang us now.
  • nvpixie
    nvpixie Posts: 483 Member
    bang him

    I second this one.

    Or you could just tell him he's looking great today and give him a hug :tongue:
  • tquill
    tquill Posts: 300 Member
    I'm just afraid that if I up the sex with him or something all of a sudden, he will think I'm more attracted to him since he has lost weight. I'm afraid I will be indirectly saying that if you gain weight back, I won't have sex with you as much because I don't find you as attractive. I don't know. Maybe I'm just over thinking it! I tend to do that!

    Isn't there some truth to that? Being fit is sexier than being overweight... it's okay to admit that. It doesn't have to mean you love him less. Anyway, you should get out of your head and communicate with him about this... not MFP. I'm not saying it's bad to seek advice here, but IMO, a relationship comes first... the communication should primarily be between you two. After all, isn't that how we get to know our significant other?
  • summer92008
    summer92008 Posts: 202
    Alrighty, I think I've got this. Tell me if I'm missing something...

    (1) More sex
    (2) More BJ's
    (3) Tell him I want him
    (4) Even more sex
    (5) Tell him he's hot
    (6) A little more sex

    :tongue:

    I'll try all of these tonight haha
  • sti1imatic
    sti1imatic Posts: 47
    You are overthinking it... just compliment him in some way that would maybe make him blush or feel good.

    Like if he is taking his shirt off let out a whistle, call him sexy, jump his bones as some had said :)

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