I'm failing my kids!

What type of yogurt are you buying? I buy those Chobani kids tubes...they are higher in protein and lower in sugar than other brands I've seen (and no artificial sweetener).

I tried Greek yogurt and it stayed in the fridge until it went bad. But I haven't tried the tubes - will try that next!

I had another thought.

Make your own granola, granola bars. There are plenty of great recipes online that don't require any actual sugar. And you can load them with nuts, seeds, dried fruit, coconut flakes...

My kids also love vegan muffins (my daughter has an egg allergy). I use less than half of the amount of sugar that a recipe calls for. Again, this way I have some measure of control about how much sugar the kids are getting. My kids like banana and pumpkin muffins. You can also get muffins tins that make very small muffins.

Edited to add: I do bribe my kids sometimes at dinner to take a few more bites of veggies...I bribe them with frozen blueberries. That's my go-to dessert.

Fantastic idea but they don't eat any of that stuff. They don't even eat granola bars, even packaged ones. Heck they'd rather eat fruit and veggies. They don't eat any of the stuff I make, except my daughter once in a while

The sugary cereal - it's a once in a while thing. As I said, I got those because they were cheap and it was a special thing, and I won't buy them again (it has 9g of sugar a serving... could be worse).

Dessert is typically ice cream (the lower fat kind, Edy's or Breyer) or a popsicle (the fruit ones, not the popsicle brand). They don't eat candy except at Halloween and Easter. We pretty much never have cake, pie or cupcakes. Typically the cookies they eat are animal crackers or graham crackers... so it could be worse I guess. But I still want them to like 'real' food.

Seriously?
The children have ice cream for Edy's or Breyer's ice cream some nights?
Of course they are not interested in your food ideas during the day.
Leave them alone about daytime food.
They get their food at dinner.

I had a super picky eater when she was really young, and she was very very under weight (under the the 1st percentile). The paediatrician would tell us to feed her anything we could to get her calories including ice cream, cream, chicken fat , junky foods, etc. I didn't want to do that as I always have been overweight, and had food issues.

Instead, we just kept at it and always gave high calorie dense foods that were extremely healthy. It was challenging before but well worth it. Now that my two are 5 & 8, they make better food choices than I do.

Here are random things I have done with my kids to try and get them to eat healthier.

To get them to have more calorie, the paediatric dietician said no drinks until AFTER their meals. Hard to do at lunch but you could do this at breakfast, and dinner too.

We only offer water and milk for most of the meals, for a treat we do smoothies made with fruit, some spinach, Greek yogurt, a little vanilla, a splash of juice, and some chia seed, maybe some avocado.

I also use the same smoothie mix to make Popsicles. They kids think it is awesome that they got Popsicles for breakfast.

The kids get juice maybe once a month, usually if they are out at someone else's place, I do buy it occasionally, and they will take it if they have been eating balanced food throughout the day.


The. kids actually hate Greek yogurt, but I put in it everything I can. I use it for sour cream, I replace ranch dressing with Greek yogurt, thinned out with a bit of milk and herbs, and they use it as dressing or dip.

We make our own ice cream using Greek yogurt, flavoured with my own homemade fruit syrup, and vanilla thrown in a ice cream maker.

I make a lot of my our sugary things such as the jam and syrup. They consist of fresh or frozen fruit, usually berries, boiled for a long time so it is thick, then add a little vanilla, squeeze of lemon, and a little sugar or honey, (not much at all).

Have the kids help in the kitchen, and educate them about food. We talk about all the chemicals and things that aren't good for your body that go on to processed food. We often do taste tests canned items vs, homemade. The trick is get the worst tasting canned item brand, and have your kids help with the home made and rave about your creation. My kids actually ask for home made versions of most things.

We talk about healthy choices and good food. Let them help make some of the choices between two healthy foods. We do games and adventures with food. We go to different markets and ethic markets and find fruits and veggies we don't often eat, then we research how to cook them or eat them. We try it together. It is important to do the research I have had a few surprises that we still laugh about.

Make cool foods with the kids based on what they are interested in. My oldest went through a monster high / gross scary monster theme. So we started buying blood oranges, dragon fruit, stuck grapes in canned lychees to make them look like eyeballs. They were super easy things to do, but did she ever gross out her little classmates, which she thought was AWESOME, the boys were even afraid.

It does seem like a lot of work, so get them in the kitchen helping you, mine have been helping since 3. Give them cookie cutters to cut out their favourite cheese and fruit. In my kitchen, the little ones have goals they work towards. At three it was cutting foods like green onions with a scissors. Then it was cutting with a little knife one bean at a time, then two bean, then three, then different veggies. Then it is the veggie peeler on straight vegetable, then round veggies. We have all these 'lessons' they get to learn. Egg cracking, toast making, bread dipping, etc. they more they help the more the like eating the foods.

Make fun little bento boxes, it doesn't have to be sandwiches, I think I pack less than one sandwich a month for school. I get those little cupcake wrappers, and use them to section their snacks.

A week of eating poorly, is not going to hurt them, just have the conversations with them on their choices. I went through a week of eating ice cream everyday maybe even twice a day. It was hot, it was on sale, and my freezer was full. We made sundaes every night after dinner, but I had them make strawberry sauce, and cut up pineapple and bananas, and they lived every night. We are out of that phase.

Put some limits on the junkies stuff, and really try to highlight the better stuff. Good luck

Yeah I started buying them as a once in a while thing but apparently my kids are worse than me when it comes to moderation...

They won''t eat plain yogurt and the only veggies they'd eat is cucumber. They like fruit occasionally but typically groan at it too (although they eat the ones in their lunch box typically). They don't like oatmeal. They'll eat eggs once in a while, but it wouldn't be an every day thing for sure. Heck I wouldn't even know what to give them for breakfast if I banned the sugary cereal!

Wouldn't know what to give them for breakfast if sugary cereal was banned???

soft boiled egg and toast.
bagel or mini-bagels and cream cheese
fresh bun and sliced ham or meats
cheerios
toast with peanut butter and banana
toast with almond butter
apple sauce
banana and milk or cream
mashed potatoes and gravy
mashed potatoes with a fried egg on top
Bacon, back bacon, on toast
brown beans
left over pasta or dinner left overs
pancakes with fresh fruit compote
fresh oranges
fresh apples
fresh strawberries or blueberries
Buckwheat
Potato Latke w sour cream and apple sauce

any and all combos of some of the foods listed above. Put a variety of healthy foods on their plates and request that they "try them". Don't force kids to eat things they don't like but taste is "an adventure" and they might make a "new discovery"... like explorers do. So, trying foods, even ones that they previously did not like, might lead to a wonderful "taste discovery". When your child makes a new discovery - make a big deal of this, so that they are eager to make a new discovery of a food that is new and they like, or a food that they previously did not like and now do. You can even make a pretty note and pin it on the fridge.... eg "Jimmy made a new taste discovery today! He likes.... x now and he didn't like it before."

The reason that your kids do not like anything but sugary cereal is because of your lack of creativity in presenting many wonderful and tasty things to them, and "re-presenting" foods often enough and getting them to try them. Own it! Fix it!

Try googling what other people eat at breakfast in different places in the world - try a Dutch breakfast, or a German one, or French... maybe you will make a new taste discovery, too. !

And +1 to RMZ2014's post. Real food - it's just not as hard as you think it is.

Now, if only most of the adults can follow the advice they're dishing for your kids (don't buy it, don't eat it; only make fruit and veggies available, etc)....

Haha great point!

OP, I would try just cutting down or cutting out one thing at a time, then re-evaluating. Get DH onboard.

My twins are 2 in December, and I am trying my *ss off to set up good habits - but some days they just don't want to eat what's on offer, and as a mother sometimes it is hard to see them not eating. Some days they eat absolute rubbish, and other days they eat really well. I am hoping it all evens out... We are on a low income so I hate seeing food wasted or spoiled.

I try and bake healthy snack options - but like you, I am very bad with enjoying my own cooking and my DH loves anything I bake (EAT ALL THE CAKE/COOKIES/SLICES!!). So I am getting better at self control, but it takes work. I make my own yoghurt when I remember, and add honey and vanilla extract.
I know it's a battle and you have to pick the ones you have energy for. Just keeping trying to improve, and I hope you find a happy middle ground.
:flowerforyou:

This really is as since as "don't buy it". If it's not there, they can't eat it. They can cry, and whine and complain, but eventually they'll get hungry enough to eat what IS there.

My kids drink water. It's rare they even ask for juice, maybe once a month they'll ask for some. They've been drinking it all day for so long that they don't even consider that there are other options.

We limit snacks. The kids get breakfast, lunch, a small afternoon snack and dinner. That's it. If they choose not to eat a meal, they wait for the next one. And do they get a morning snack on school days. If they don't snack all day, they're hungry enough to eat at meal times.

Snack choices are things like pretzels, rice crackers, fruit, veggies, cheese, frozen berries, plain yogurt (my oldest adds PB and honey, my younger adds homemade berry sauce) and applesauce. At dinner they have to try at least one bite of everything.

Www.100daysofrealfood.com is a great resource, and the book "French Kids Eat Everything". is really interesting, it's about picky eaters.

Now, if only most of the adults can follow the advice they're dishing for your kids (don't buy it, don't eat it; only make fruit and veggies available, etc)....

Yes! And nobody seems to remember what kind of stinking tantrum *they* might have thrown when they were given options they didn't like when they were little.

When I threw a stinking tantrum (and I did), there were consequences. I'm sure my parents would've preferred no tantrums at all, but they certainly didn't cater to me just to avoid a tantrum. They were the parents. I was the child. And I didn't grow up to hate them!

Now, if only most of the adults can follow the advice they're dishing for your kids (don't buy it, don't eat it; only make fruit and veggies available, etc)....

Yes! And nobody seems to remember what kind of stinking tantrum *they* might have thrown when they were given options they didn't like when they were little.

Your posts really surprise me. Both of them. Firstly, children simply will not starve themselves. If you present a variety of good foods to eat, they will eat them.

Giving in to tantrums.... teaches.... that tantrums are effective. Children are very quick to learn what behaviors are effective.

Don't buy it. They can't have what's not available.

+1

Need sugar? By some fruits and leave them around. See what they eat when they get hungry

As my daughters' pediatrician used to day "picky eaters are created by parents."

As the mother of three grown kids, I beg to differ. My youngest was such a picky eater but not the older two. In college, she has expanded her repertoire of food quite a bit. My oldest started eating hot and sour soup at age 2.5 and love it. My younger still wouldn't eat it. And not because it wasn't offered or wasn't tried.

Food for thought - I had parents who promoted totally sugar free, junk free eating - and I ended up heavy. I let my kids eat lots of the junk that was forbidden to me and so far no one has a weight issue. And they don't go around eating tons of junk now.

As my daughters' pediatrician used to day "picky eaters are created by parents."

As the mother of three grown kids, I beg to differ. My youngest was such a picky eater but not the older two. In college, she has expanded her repertoire of food quite a bit. My oldest started eating hot and sour soup at age 2.5 and love it. My younger still wouldn't eat it. And not because it wasn't offered or wasn't tried.

Food for thought - I had parents who promoted totally sugar free, junk free eating - and I ended up heavy. I let my kids eat lots of the junk that was forbidden to me and so far no one has a weight issue. And they don't go around eating tons of junk now.

I agree..to a certain extent. Granted I only have one child so I can't compare, but we eat quite healthy in our house. We are always giving our son new things to try, stressing the importance of making healthy choices, etc. All in all, he does really well. BUT I have learned the hard way that if he tells me he doesn't like something, it's a battle I'm not going to fight. Problem is, my son will actually vomit if he doesn't like something. Learned that lesson the hard way while at a friend's house for spaghetti dinner and I made him try a meatball (that was a year ago and those friends still remind me of it LOL). That being said, we do not demonize sugar and treats, but they are a once in a while thing and my 4YO knows the difference between a healthy snack/ meal and a treat. I still continue to put things on his dinner plate like spinach, etc and encourage him to eat it, but if he doesn't, I know he's still eating the other healthy things in his dinner so I'm not going to stress about it.

I don't necessarily agree with the whole "picky eaters are created by picky parents" thing. Yes, we need to make sure they explore their palate, but kids know what they like and don't like, just as adults do, and they deserve to have an opinion on it. I'd be pretty irritated if someone called me picky because I don't like pork chops. Worse yet if they put it in front of me and told me I'd have to eat it or go hungry. Sounds like a great way to create other food issues.

Now, if only most of the adults can follow the advice they're dishing for your kids (don't buy it, don't eat it; only make fruit and veggies available, etc)....

Yes! And nobody seems to remember what kind of stinking tantrum *they* might have thrown when they were given options they didn't like when they were little.

Your posts really surprise me. Both of them. Firstly, children simply will not starve themselves. If you present a variety of good foods to eat, they will eat them.

Giving in to tantrums.... teaches.... that tantrums are effective. Children are very quick to learn what behaviors are effective.

No, children who are operating within the norm regarding development and abilities don't starve themselves willingly. I didn't say they would.
No, they will not always eat what is presented, in whole. I know for my kids, if they are not hungry they will not eat it. Or will not eat some foods, regardless of how many times they have had it previously - they will refuse it point blank one day out of the blue. Mine are toddlers, that is what they do. They are not offered an alternative to what I make for them, they simply catch up with their next snack or meal.

I am simply empathising with the OP that it can be hard when your children don't eat reliably.

I at no point advocated that tantrums are the way to go forward. I was pointing out that people probably forget how spectacular and stressful tantrums can be, and that they may well have given their parents a hard time ontop of whatever else their parents are trying to accomplish or wade through.

My suggestion was to the OP to make small changes and pick their battles.

Yes, I understand what you were saying. "pick your battles" is, in fact, not a very good approach to food because food should not be "a battle", especially with toddlers. This is my point, exactly.

It is well proven that when food becomes a "battle ground" this leads statistically to towards eating disorders, and parents, in general put absolutely no faith in nature and the child's natural instinct to survive and to survive well. Parents, in fact, interfere with their children's natural eating habits and instincts, all too much, and often create the problems in the first place.

There was a huge study, a long time ago, where children in an orphanage were tracked with what they ate, over a long period of time. They were given "free access" to a wide variety of healthy food and they "ate whatever they wanted" in "amounts that they wanted". Now, in one way the study is stacked, because the cupboards were not filled with candies and cakes. They were provided with healthy, real food.

But guess what? Even though children often eat strangely... maybe eating all bread at one meal, or for a few days, all fruit at another and they do not eat "individual balanced meals", if you were to look only at one meal or a few days. Children go in themes, for awhile, and then a lot of one type of item, and then something they liked they stop eating, and another thing, previously rejected then suddenly becomes okay. But over-all, in totality, they ate well, over time. This was my point.

No children ended up developing rickets, or lacked in ANY vitamin. No child was malnourished. All children thrived if given access to good, healthy food and were allowed to choose freely.

Who told me this story? My husband. He is a physician and he studied this study during his medical training.

The truth is that more problems are created by "interfering" with what children eat. "Battlegrounds" create problems with eating. And when parents are "stressed and worried" about food, this is transferred to the child.

Nature is miraculous and a little toddler will reach for what it needs, over time, and a toddlers body, if left to its own instincts, will create a diet that is just fine - if they are given access to good food. (So, I'm not saying free feed candy or junk). Parents "think" they know better. Parents try to "control" food, and this is, in fact, not good.

So, the rules in my house when my child was young, as set down by my physician husband, was "trust her", don't "interfere", and simply make sure that good, healthy food is presented for whenever she is hungry because the truth is that her body will prompt her to eat when she's hungry, stop when she's full, and to select the things that her body needs - not all in one meal - or not even all in one week - but over time. People interfere all too much, mother's "bribe" their children to take another bite, to eat stuff the child doesn't feel like eating, and they "pick their battlegrounds" or make food a battleground.

If food or feeding your child is a battleground, this is not a good sign because the truth is that your child's own body, it's own cues, is smarter than you are, knows more about nutrition than you do, knows more about what it needs, than you do. All that is required, really, is to provide access to a wide variety of healthy food and to let your child do his/her thing. (This is also why I say re-present food), taste changes over time and things that were rejected before sometimes are then eaten, so making the list shorter and shorter is not a good thing.

This matches the other poster that was saying that parents, in fact, are responsible for children's eating problems. Does this mean that some children will eat a wider variety of food than others? Yes. Will some seem "more picky"? Yes. Doesn't matter. Parents that are "worried" about food and "anxious" about what their child eats, will create the same feelings in the child. Long and short of it. Don't sweat it. Just present good food. That's it. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.

I agree with tracylbrown83 100%. My son's limited diet has had a complete nutritional breakdown by his pediatrician, and suprisingly he gets what he needs from what he eats.

OP- please dont think you are failing your kids. I hate that feeling, and its just not true. I promise.

Well, being a mother of 5 kids, who are very different in their likes and dislikes, I have to say I know the struggle. However, I'm not the kind of mom who will cook 5 different meals just to please everyone. That's insane! My husband and I used to eat horribly, until we were both overweight and tired. So we made a change not just for us, but for our kids as well. Kids now a says live off of processed food! And when you think about it, by continually giving them that food we're shortening their life. First, stop buying the bad stuff. Look for things with less than 4 or 5 grams of sugar. Yes there are things out there you just have to look. A great alternative for the juice and even soda is flavored water. My kids LOVE that they get to choose what they drink. Just be careful because you don't need a lot to make it taste like kool aid. Then make your favorite dishes healthy! You can do it with most dishes. You can do this, you just have to put some thought into it, and put your foot down and don't buy the crap! One example is, my kids love peanut butter. So, I buy the natural peanut butter and sweeten it with Agave. Our bodies need sugar, just make it the best sugar out there. They will NEVER know the difference!!