WHY did you gain weight?

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Replies

  • amcook4
    amcook4 Posts: 561 Member
    Food is very comforting to me. Growing up I did most of the cooking for my family, it was what I was good at and something that I could totally control.

    I had (diagnosed for years) mild depression & anxiety and food was my way to make myself feel better. Once I got help with that I stopped gaining weight, but I maintained at a high level for a long time, because it just seemed like too much work to lose it.

    Then being told "You have PCOS, and that will make loosing weight very difficult" was enough of a turn off for me. I thought, "So, losing weight for me is going to be harder than for someone else? F that, I'm just going to comfort myself with food instead, because getting healthy just seems impossible with the odds stacked up against me"

    Now I'm in a really good spot mentally, I've really worked on getting myself into a good place lately that I'm able to focus on myself. I am very certain that being in a better place mentally has helped me out a lot this time around.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
    I'm glad to see this thread hasn't been overrun by people wanting to point out *how* they gained weight rather than *why*, which is what the OP was asking. It's a very interesting question -- if we know overeating can cause health problems, why do we do it anyway?

    For me, the issue is that I simply love the taste of high calorie foods. I would be in absolute heaven right now if I could have an entire package of double-stuf oreos and a quart of milk. Or better yet, some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies... I think there has even been some scientific research into chocolate releasing endorphins in the brain.

    But... ah but... I know my body cannot effectively burn all those calories and that consuming them will cause my adipose tissue to expand.

    Immediate, short-term gratification vs long-term health.

    For me it comes down to will power. And I have no idea why some days I succeed and some days I fail.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    Why I gained: When we eat foods we like, the brain releases dopamine, which rewards us for eating them. These are usually fattening foods. The flavor is great and the dopamine rush feels good, so I overate those foods.

    Now I have to realize it's just not worth it and abstain from sugar and junk, and replace that stuff with reasonable quantities of fruit and such.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    Very interesting and sad stories. Good too see that people are recognizing the issues and making progress, though.

    I think the psychological part of weight gain IS important to explore, but only if done in a balanced way. I mean, on those "Hoarder" shows, they too search for the REAL reason the issue exists, so it's important to try to pin point it and then work forward. Dwelling on it or placing blame will only set you backwards.

    Good thread and good point, though. I think also just recognizing our own habits and patterns is helpful because they translate into every aspect of our lives, not just weight. That can be a helpful tool in becoming a happier person overall.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    Annie_01 .. Life can be so hard sometimes. Everyone has their own journey and their own path. it is so hard to not get wrapped up in other people's journey and not allow it to affect us. Especially when it is our own family and their particular journey. But that is one thing I try hard to remember is that I have my OWN journey to fulfill. You are as deserving of your own life and your own path as any of us are. Good for you for taking control of it. You can do it!!

    Life can be hard...at the end of the day however...no matter how long it takes...you can win this battle.

    I usually avoid these types of threads. Not because of the stories that are shared but there is always someone that comes along and uses that line...it is an excuse to eat...or...all it takes is will-power.

    There are times in life that there is just not enough will power left at the end of the day. You used it all up just trying to survive...

    Excuses...not so much...none of us said...oh I think that I will use my experiences to have one more piece of cake.

    Where will power comes in to play...is to recognize what is going on in your life...taking the steps to change it...learning to care enough about yourself to take those first steps.

    I don't know...as I said...I usually avoid these types of threads...someone will say something that just sets me off! Until you have experienced someone elses life...I don't think that you have the right to pass judgment on them.

    If I had the choice of doing my life differently...I would...but I don't...none of us do...all we can do is change our future. We don't have to be the victims.

    I'm sorry I ranted...but for someone to be annoyed...just got to me.
  • johnnyr24
    johnnyr24 Posts: 90 Member
    I lived at home. I remember being 15 and weighing 140 lbs and that was good enough for me. But then my mom started getting strict on the house rules and so was my dad and there was just so much stress and family problems going on at home that I got really stressed out and started eating more and more and it was terrible. By the time I was 19 I had gained so much weight I was close to 160 lbs and before I knew it I was pushing 200. It's been a hard journey for me but I am trying my best to get back on my feet and loose it all again.
  • For me it comes down to will power. And I have no idea why some days I succeed and some days I fail.

    YES. I feel you on that.
  • stephmofo
    stephmofo Posts: 21 Member
    I have developed unhealthy relationships with food! When I was younger I would eat to calm down "the butterflies in my stomach." I lived on my own after high school, I was so broke and worked at different restaurants, to save money I would pig out on the free or lower cost meals they offered. At that time I chose high calorie foods because I thought I would stay full longer, I had no clue how sugar and high carb foods can increase your appetite! Whenever I am dieting I might do well for a little while, all the while obsessing about my weight and food, then I will pig out and have an unsaitable appetite. Tracking everything I eat helps because I know how much I have eaten so I don't feel as deprived. Ironically, stressing about my weight and healthy food makes me want to eat!
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
    That is my pet peeve! The assumption that people are fat because of some unresolved "issue." And that they will inevitably gain it back if they don't resolve that issue.

    I CALL BULLSH*T! I'm sure there are people out there who do have some unresolved issues and they've used food to self-medicate. Or something. I'm sure they exist. But it certainly is not universal to all overweight people.

    I'm fat because I chose to eat too much and lead a sedentary lifestyle. It's that simple. I'm not an emotional eater. I'm not a binge eater. I just like food and I like high calorie food and I didn't exercise.

    I've been fat as long as I can remember (seriously… as long as I can remember), so I can't blame some traumatizing event like when my dad got cancer or when my mom died or even some major injury that put me out of commission. I've tried to blame medical problems (thyroid, Cushings Disease, etc) in the past, but nope. Doctors ruled all those out.

    I admit, I have all sorts of "issues." But absolutely none of them is to blame for my being overweight. I ate too much and moved too little. Then end.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,282 Member
    ^ nobody is saying Everyone who is overweight got there because of unresolved issues.

    And of course everybody ate too much and moved too little - but for many people there is an emotional/ psychological reason WHY they did that.

    Just like being underweight happens because you eat too little/ over-exercise - but nobody would suggest anorexia does not have psychological factors.
  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
    Because french fries, cheese and ice cream are yummy (not at the same time). Oh and Bacon!!
  • I read somewhere that we need to stop hiding behind our "coat of fat". That is exactly what I did for many, many years. Abusive childhood, abusive 20yr marriage. During that time I must have gained and lost over a 100 lbs...maybe three times. Good news is I left my husband and as each year passes, I gain more control and confidence and the weight is slowly coming off and staying off this time!!!! That being said, I could probably attest some of my chub to the fact that I'm an italian girl that loves her food! LOL! And at every event that my family has we surround the day around what is on the table. Been an adjustment but I'm learning its all about balance. I no longer want to be a stick....just feel good in my skin and of course being healthy! Thanks for you're post!
  • caimay149
    caimay149 Posts: 65 Member
    Definitely lots of interesting responses here. I agree with both sentiments - the 'I ate too much cos it was delicious' school of thought and the 'yeah, but there might be a 'why' behind it' thought too.

    I'm honestly not sure what applies to me. I'm very, very active and do sometimes more than an hour of cardio a day, plus weights as well. I just have a preference for higher calorie food, frappuccinos, and I don't like to tell myself 'no'. What I have found has been helping a lot is quitting the bad food talk, and eating anything I want - as long as it's cause I'm hungry and I don't overeat. That way, if I'm reaching for food at another time, I can ask myself why. Usually the answer is boredom, and sometimes it's more of a feeling of, I want to hide away from the world and feel sorry for myself issue.
  • 20yearsyounger
    20yearsyounger Posts: 1,630 Member
    Lack of control. Lots of flying and eating out on someone else's tab.
  • Hannahp1402
    Hannahp1402 Posts: 85 Member
    It started when my mum and dad divorced, I stayed with my dad because my mother had cheated on him and I felt sorry for him. He worked 8-8 every day and when my little sister came round we would go through his jeans and cupboards and a little box he kept money in and go up the shop and buy as many sweets with it as we could and that made me happy. Then dad started sending me to my nans at the weekend while he went out and my nan loved to me feed me everything bad (she wasn't aware I dont think) I wasn't even aware. Went back to mums with this terrible urge to go and buy lots of bad things all the time, she told me I needed to lose weight but because she was a cheating **** I didn't care what she said. Lol (My 12 year old brain would of thought like this, I am of course old enough to understand what went on, but at the time they were my thoughts) Basically I got into the bad habits when I was young and not aware or even concious of my weight ( was still very active but ate so much it didnt matter) and then by the time I got older I was never that much bigger than anyone else until pregnancy at the age of 20 when I became out of control. So actually although the habits formed when I was much younger and not aware of what I was doing. I have had around 8 years of being aware of it all and how to change it and have not. so really I gained weight because of the lifestyle I was given but was never taught what to do about it until it was too late, then I gained the knowledge myself of what I needed to do but just didnt do it. I met my fiancee 6 years ago and we got fatter together, thats another problem for another day...... But basically I could of sorted this out 8 years ago but I just liked food.

    :)
  • ExRelaySprinter
    ExRelaySprinter Posts: 874 Member
    For me, as some with a big appetite it was mostly large portion sizes, too much fast food, doughnuts and Alcohol. :laugh:
    But now, i've cut down on my portions (and have gotten used to it surprisingly!), i eat healthier but i still have fast food, doughnuts and alcohol.....but only occasionally.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Had two babies and gained a lot of weight with both. Ate way too much and didn't move as well.
  • SlimMe37
    SlimMe37 Posts: 133 Member
    I gained weight after I left school and earned my own money. I could buy what I wanted. It was a whole new world. No one to restrict me etc. I travelled and worked as a nanny abroad. I had a lot of me time at the weekends and ate out of boredom then. I then had three children and got married. I didn't realise I had gained anything until I saw a photo of myself with my youngest. Thats when I decided on weightloss. The weight had crept up on me without me realising it. I lost a lot of weight but once that happened I let go of controlling what I ate etc and gained some back. Basically I took my eye off the ball. So want to lose what I gained back. Luckily I caught it in time and havent gained back all of my hard work!
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
    I ate more and refused to exercise

    This ^^
  • Poor diet and lack of exercise.
  • jackielou867
    jackielou867 Posts: 422 Member
    Because the nicest foods are the ones that do us the most harm. Because I was uneducated about food. Because I did not know what a portion was. Because I was brought up to empty my plate. Because manufacturers put more and more sugar in to make it more appealing. Because I did not exercise. Because sugary foods make us hungry. Babies. Not eating properly while pregnant or exercising after. Clearing the kids plates. English, cold winters evenings in front of the TV. Cheese and biscuit suppers. Cheese and wine suppers. Alcohol. Cakes. Chocolate. Chocolate at the counter when we pay for groceries. Ice cream. Soda. Too polite to refuse food when offered. Because junk food is quicker and cheaper. Because I was greedy. Because my mum told me I had my dad's genes and wouldn't get fat. Because I was lazy. I had a really really sweet tooth.
    Because any social event revolves around food or drink or both.
    Because of my husband, if he fancied a snack I got one too, and vice versa. Because I used to drown everything in sauce. Because when we were poor we ate pasta every second day.
    The list is endless and I have had to address each and every item on it. But I have done it, and I am fitter and healthier than I was 2 decades ago.
  • futuresize8
    futuresize8 Posts: 476 Member
    I still don't know why. I have some educated guesses.

    When I worked in retail management, I was on my feet all day, every day. When I ate lunch or dinner, it was usually standing up, in the back room doorway, and it was something low calorie, like baked pretzel sticks. At my last job, I averaged between 60 and 70 hours per week, depending on the season. So...I think I just burned more calories than I do at my desk job that I've had the last 15 years.

    At that time, I wan't happy with my weight, which fluctuated between 150 and 165 pounds. (I'm 5'7".) I took lots of different OTC or by mail prescription dietary supplements and supressants during those last five years of retail. I was always on a stimulant or laxative. Really stupid.

    Even exercising daily, which I've been doing the last three years, hasn't countered my sedentary office status. I am trying now to move more during the day.

    I have always been a pretty healthy eater - tons of vegetables (I'm a part time pescatarian, full time vegetarian) and very little processed food. I love to cook. I might be eating too little now.

    Figuring out why I can't be the size I'd like to be is a big part of the reason I'm here! Surely, I have had my own share of tough times, but none of them are responsible for my weight. I actually eat less when I'm stressed!
  • I was at college and making my own money I started getting take aways and stop going to the gym, this carried on whilst I was with my ex (he put me down a lot). Simples. But now I am happy, I have an amazing supportive husband and now its my time for me to get fit and healthy :)
  • AnthonyThrashD
    AnthonyThrashD Posts: 306 Member
    I was unhappy healthy. I had way too much energy and nothing to do. Using food as entertainment and abusing it as a sedative, solved both problems.
  • Jennifer10723
    Jennifer10723 Posts: 374 Member
    That is my pet peeve! The assumption that people are fat because of some unresolved "issue." And that they will inevitably gain it back if they don't resolve that issue.

    I CALL BULLSH*T! I'm sure there are people out there who do have some unresolved issues and they've used food to self-medicate. Or something. I'm sure they exist. But it certainly is not universal to all overweight people.

    I'm fat because I chose to eat too much and lead a sedentary lifestyle. It's that simple. I'm not an emotional eater. I'm not a binge eater. I just like food and I like high calorie food and I didn't exercise.

    I've been fat as long as I can remember (seriously… as long as I can remember), so I can't blame some traumatizing event like when my dad got cancer or when my mom died or even some major injury that put me out of commission. I've tried to blame medical problems (thyroid, Cushings Disease, etc) in the past, but nope. Doctors ruled all those out.

    I admit, I have all sorts of "issues." But absolutely none of them is to blame for my being overweight. I ate too much and moved too little. Then end.

    Well good for you.
  • candistyx
    candistyx Posts: 547 Member
    Ate high calorie density food, didn't sleep enough, had no "eating boundaries" (which was a reflection of a general lack of boundaries in my life and behaviour), took too many drugs and since I never really had a time I didn't think I was fat I didn't really notice that I was going from "kinda chubby" fat to "walking 3 miles is painful and clothes in normal shops don't fit me" fat.
  • GibbsGirl13072
    GibbsGirl13072 Posts: 156 Member
    Last year I went from having a fairly active job with lots of walking to a desk job. Then I had a hysterectomy for cancer and my lack of hormones made me anxious and depressed. Then my father in law died, and I felt even more depressed. So pretty much a combination of that and sitting around too much, combined with eating all the wrong stuff.
  • I spent the majority of my adult life at 115 lbs.

    In 2008, I quit smoking, stopped sleeping all of which coincided with menopause. Over the next several months, I was up 10 pounds.

    By 2011, I had gained 40 pounds. My feet constantly hurt, and my back hurt from carrying around the extra weight. If I got down on the floor, I struggled to get up. One day I happened to see my neighbor outside and I could see that she had lost quite a bit of weight. We talked and that's when I found out about Ideal Protein and I couldn't sign up fast enough. It took months and months and months to lose weight. Ideal Protein food is expensive, and you have to eat very specific veggies and proteins. Eventually the weight came off. Yay! When I completed the IP program and went back to eating regular, every day food, I started gaining. .

    In my effort to lose weight, I started a diet. I bought book after book of the latest diet methods and I tracked on paper what I had eaten during the day. I weighed myself every morning and on the days where I lost half or a whole pound I was on cloud nine only to be disappointed a few days later when I was up that same amount or more. When I kept losing and gaining the same amount over and over, I started eating less.

    Here we are in May, 2014 and I see a new doctor. I show her my food log and tell her that I am fat and miserable and unable to lose weight. She told me to stop weighing myself daily and that my food log was an excellent start, but it was missing a few key things like calories, fat, sugar, etc. She told me to eat 1200 calories day and suggested that I log everything on MFP so I started doing that. After several days, when I looked at my log, I realized that I was only eating about 600 calories a day. It never occurred to me that I was starving myself and my body was holding on to the fat. At that point in time, I started eating more and more and the weight started coming off.

    I'm down 17 pounds and am continuing to lose.
  • clewpage
    clewpage Posts: 44 Member
    No major psychological trauma in my life, I had a storied childhood that most people would dream of, but I did have some lazy/messy/needy tendencies that my parents really didn't discourage enough.

    I can look back and pinpoint 3 possible contributors...

    My mom passed when I was 27, and in the year leading up to that and following, I self medicated with beer. Wasn't unusual for me to drink 8-9 beers a night, every night, by myself in my apartment during the week, then go out partying on the weekend. She had been sick a long time, so I just assumed she would get better like she had every other time. When I knoew that wasn't happening, I comforted myself with copious amounts of alcohol.

    As I gained weight throughout my 20's, I lost confidence and self-worth, and stopped getting male attention like I used to. I became desperate for affection, which guys can sense and avoid. I couldn't get a boyfriend to hang around much more than a few months, so I became a guys-girl. That girl all the guys want to hang out with, maybe try to sleep with (I didn't go there) but not date. Instead they would talk to me about the girls they are dating. I tried to keep up with them drinking, because hey, at least they still liked to look at me and get drunk with me, but that often included late night trips to fast food or breakfast diners.

    I also worked for a minor league sports team for 3 years. While it sounds fun, it pays crap. Sponsors would provide free meals to the players, and as office staff I would often eat those free meals as well because I was broke. The difference was I wasn't out on the field running off the cheap pizza, fried chicken, pasta bars, and hot wings. I was sitting behind a desk, in an office surrounded by big burly guys. I didn't realize the difference between trying to fit in and trying to keep up.

    There was also a good bit of denial. I just didn't realize how fat I had gotten. I knew I weighed more, but I didn't necessarily think it was that noticable. hahaha...I was wrong.
  • p_emmel5
    p_emmel5 Posts: 39 Member
    No deep underlying reason.... just to lazy to eat and exercise correctly. Went from an active work life, on my tools, to an Engineering job with too much time parked at my desk. It was way to easy to eat out rather than be organized enough to eat and exercise correctly . Took 6 years to gain 50 lbs and end up at 230 lbs (6'1").

    Besides I had to do my part to keep America #1. As in the #1 overweight society. Sorry gang I have since dropped the ball on keeping us #1 as well as the 50 lbs.