It's not fair

I hesitated to comment on this, but I decided I will (I will probably regret this later).

I have medical issues... in fact, medical problems are what caused me to be so fat to start with. I was underweight at one time, then a sudden auto-immune disease caused me to double my weight in a year and continue to gain weight for several years afterward. An additional auto-immune disease caused even more weight gain.

For more than an decade, I was trying to figure out how to lose weight safely (there is a way I can lose weight faster than any of the rest of you because of one of my illnesses, but it is very dangerous and I could die... so that is not an option). Doctors were not helpful at all, and I have more education about my illness than most GP's. I see a specialist, and they aren't much help either. So I continued to gain information from others, mostly online, who have the same medical issues. After several years, I finally figured out the right combination of things to start losing weight. It is at a snail's pace, but it can be done.

If you are logging properly and are actually putting in the effort and having calorie deficits, it may be time to start seeing a doctor to find out what is wrong with you. That won't mean you can start losing weight immediately, but it may give you some insight to help figure it out eventually.

I went back a week in your diary, nothing logged. I went back a month in your diary nothing logged. You haven't been "struggling" for two years. If you want to lose, you need to put the work in.

I know what you mean! I have changed my way of life and my husband has lost weight as if by osmosis! I eat right and a lot less calories and I burn a lot of calories. However, I have lost a lot more than he has and in a lot less than 2 years. (I have medical issues, so, it is still possible to lose weight)
What are you eating? How much exercise are you doing? Do you have medical issues?
Take your log to your Dr. and show him/her. It can't hurt. Maybe you can get some insight.

Oh and yes, life isn't fair, never has been, never will be. I tell my son this on a daily basis :ohwell:

It is at a snail's pace, but it can be done.

I likely have Hashimoto's. I have likely had this for the last five years and possibly longer. It is untreated because my doctor thinks he knows everything about thyroid and it's becoming clear he knows less than I know about it. I can lose weight by eating 500-700 calories a day AND exercising an hour a day. That is the only thing that works.

Eating more than that or not exercising a lot means I maintain and then gain, maintain and then gain.

So, yes, there are medical issues that make it pretty much impossible to lose weight. Thankfully, I'm finally getting the referrals I need that will hopefully lead to treatment and then I will be able to lose weight. In the meantime, eating 1,000-1,500 calories a day and exercising has allowed me the privilege of gaining more than 30 pounds.

I don't think that's the OP's issue, though, since her OP makes it sound like she's maintaining without any gains (though it's different for everyone). More likely, she isn't dedicated.

It is at a snail's pace, but it can be done.

I likely have Hashimoto's. I have likely had this for the last five years and possibly longer. It is untreated because my doctor thinks he knows everything about thyroid and it's becoming clear he knows less than I know about it. I can lose weight by eating 500-700 calories a day AND exercising an hour a day. That is the only thing that works.

Eating more than that or not exercising a lot means I maintain and then gain, maintain and then gain.

So, yes, there are medical issues that make it pretty much impossible to lose weight. Thankfully, I'm finally getting the referrals I need that will hopefully lead to treatment and then I will be able to lose weight. In the meantime, eating 1,000-1,500 calories a day and exercising has allowed me the privilege of gaining more than 30 pounds.

I don't think that's the OP's issue, though, since her OP makes it sound like she's maintaining without any gains (though it's different for everyone). More likely, she isn't dedicated.

Hashimoto's is one of my issues, but I found that type 1 diabetes makes it even more difficult to lose weight than Hashimoto's. Type 1 is what caused me to go from being underweight to obese in a year, and to continue to gain weight for several years even before Hashimoto's. Hashimoto's did not help at all, though. I will admit that I'm quite jealous of new type 1's because the treatment methods in the 1990's were not nearly as advanced as they are today, and that is a lot of the reason for gaining weight. Today the treatment methods can cause weight gain, but it is pretty much non-existent comparatively. I'm using new treatment methods now that they are available, and I can admit that is part of what makes weight loss possible at all.

I think you are right, though... it sounds like the OP is not putting in the needed effort and thinks doing P90X exercises and then following the meal plan had nothing to do with her husband's weight loss. It must have been magic.

My husband is the same way. All he has to do is think about losing weight and he loses it.

I don't understand how he can "eat anything" and not "gain weight" and still have 31 lbs to lose? hmmmm

Hormones.

Their bodies are designed to be athletic. Our bodies are designed to be nurturing (aka fat).

:huh: we hold about 7% more bodyfat than men, but this by no means is an excuse to say we are designed to be fat. We are designed to have more essential fat than men, but this is accounted for in body fat goal adjustments between men and women.

I'm not saying that we are designed to be obese. Just explaining why a woman's body doesn't lose fat as fast as a man's.

Ok I guess if a man and a woman both had 20% bf the man would have more inessential fat than a woman, so have an easer time getting rid of it.

But if you compare a man at 13% and a woman at 20% they would have to put in about the same effort to lose 1% because they both have close to the same inessential bf to lose.

You're assuming that her husband's body fat was lower than hers when he started. It could have been the same as hers or higher even.

If it was the same or higher than hers it would be that much easer to shed lbs. We all know the more you have to lose the faster you can drop it!

11 pounds in 2 years? It's obvious that you're not trying.

Wow! That's kind of unfair. You don't know what's going on with her body. OP, if you find it difficult to lose then perhaps you should talk to your doctor. There are medical explanations for slow weight loss.

Before we start jumping into "medical explanations", how about we rule out things like human error, inconsistent logging, lack of effort, etc?


Not everyone has a medical issue. Some people just don't put in the work.

Anecdotes are never fair, but... I have a medical issue (often not treated properly due to fluctuating levels/dosage changes), and even I've lost more than that on average. "Not fair" is how I view my body versus others most of the time, but that's after I've been rigorous to the point of carrying a pocket scale around for food :laugh:

My hubby is over 6 inches taller than me so he gets way more calories. I have to be careful that I am not comparing my eating to his. If we split something in half, I could get too many calories for weight loss and he could still be at a deficit.

Because men are annoying.

HA! Thanks for the laugh But in response to this thread, all I can say is that hubby is the same way. It's no different than seeing those model-thin girls that can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. You have to find a way to accept that there is a genetic difference between you and hubby. Let the fact that you have NO control over this enable you to let it go (God grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change). Instead, pay attention to your own diet and exercise and find happiness in the strides you personally make instead of berating yourself over the progress of others. It's tough, I know. When I joined MFP there was a girl I became friends with and she stuck with the program and has lost like 115 pounds whereas I have fallen off the bandwagon and actually GAINED weight. It's hard not to compare myself to her and do the "wouldda couldda shouldda" but that kind of thinking will derail me once again. I'm just trying to compete with myself now- pitting the "fat me" against the "me I wanna be".

"It's not fair" is generally the battle cry of the easily defeated. Time to put on your grown up pants and start taking responsibility for your own weight loss or lack of...as your husbands success over the brief period you compared your efforts to have no impact on the results you have had over the last two years.

The mature thing to do would be to see his success as an inspiration.

Because men are annoying.

HA! Thanks for the laugh But in response to this thread, all I can say is that hubby is the same way. It's no different than seeing those model-thin girls that can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. You have to find a way to accept that there is a genetic difference between you and hubby. Let the fact that you have NO control over this enable you to let it go (God grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change). Instead, pay attention to your own diet and exercise and find happiness in the strides you personally make instead of berating yourself over the progress of others. It's tough, I know. When I joined MFP there was a girl I became friends with and she stuck with the program and has lost like 115 pounds whereas I have fallen off the bandwagon and actually GAINED weight. It's hard not to compare myself to her and do the "wouldda couldda shouldda" but that kind of thinking will derail me once again. I'm just trying to compete with myself now- pitting the "fat me" against the "me I wanna be".

They cannot eat whatever they want and just gain weight. That's a total myth.

It is unfair. It sucks. It is really, really, ridiculously annoying.

It's not any of those things. He was doing P90x and following the meal plan. If he didn't lose weight, THAT would be unfair.

I've consistently lost 10 lbs a month for the last 4 months. That's with regular logging and moderate exercise.

If I hopped over to p90x, I bet I could get that as high as 15 a month.

It's all about the work you're willing to put in.

The only reason you haven't been able to lose 11 lbs in a year is because you haven't done the work.