Can men and women maintain a platonic relationship?

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  • cuteandfunsized
    cuteandfunsized Posts: 1,187 Member
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    I would like to think so. Most of my friends are guys. They're easier to talk to and they tell you it straight. Which I love. But I do believe if two people,male and female are friends and hang out and talk on the phone and whatever else,for too long there could be some feelings developing other than friendship.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    It is highly dependent on who you are, but for me it really depends. My motto is "If I feel uncomfortable with my husband doing this, I won't do it".

    I don't feel comfortable being *close* friends with single men. Acquaintances, sure. Pleasantries exchanged, of course. Going out for coffee/ texting conversations/ calling just to talk, NOOOooo. If the guy is married, I feel more comfortable, because I know that intentions are, for the most part (with every "guy" friend I have had this far) completely pure and platonic. Even then, I will only meet with them socially with their wife or my husband there. Never do I call/text/private message unless it's to set up double dates or answer simple work related questions.

    Maybe I am a little more conservative than most people, but I never want to give my husband a reason to question my fidelity to him ever. I just love him so much it would break my heart to see him struggle. Again, everyone is different, and you do what works for you. The answer to this question will vary a lot, I think, if you are in a committed relationship.

    Agree with everything here
    Absolutely. Married men would never have sex with women who aren't their wives!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I would like to think so. Most of my friends are guys. They're easier to talk to and they tell you it straight. Which I love. But I do believe if two people,male and female are friends and hang out and talk on the phone and whatever else,for too long there could be some feelings developing other than friendship.
    Hmmm.

    I'm going on 25-30 years with some of my guys friends. So far this hasn't happened. How long is "too long"?
  • cuteandfunsized
    cuteandfunsized Posts: 1,187 Member
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    I would like to think so. Most of my friends are guys. They're easier to talk to and they tell you it straight. Which I love. But I do believe if two people,male and female are friends and hang out and talk on the phone and whatever else,for too long there could be some feelings developing other than friendship.
    Hmmm.

    I'm going on 25-30 years with some of my guys friends. So far this hasn't happened. How long is "too long"?

    Well of course there are some factors,if both parties are married then there's no reason to have feelings if both are happy in their marriages/relationships. You also have to realize if one has feelings for the other they may not say so in fear of ruining a good friendship.
  • cherrylholden
    cherrylholden Posts: 3 Member
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    I have had a platonic relationship with my fitness instructor for over 10 years now. If I didn't have that kind of relationship with him I would never believe it would be possible.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    never men and woman are always boning everything thats not tied down
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
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    Simply put, yes. I've done it for years, they're like my brothers.
  • newhealthykim
    newhealthykim Posts: 192 Member
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    Highly unlikely. I have one male friend who is completely platonic both ways (he has no feelings for me, I have no feelings for him). However, I only see him like once a year, and even when I saw him the most, it was just once a month. I never get to see him now, because his wife didn't like me taking him to a breastaurant. I decided not to tell her he was bragging about doing things with a stripper the night before.

    Beyond that, all my male friends are not platonic. We may look platonic, or act platonic, but either I have some attraction towards them, or they have some attraction towards me. We just don't act on it. That's it.
  • Shalaurise
    Shalaurise Posts: 707 Member
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    absolutely.

    i have a platonic relationship with all my ugly female friends.

    *sigh* well this explains why I have so many friends and no "extras" with any of them.

    Frankly, I tend to get along better with guys than girls. I don't even get along with me when I am hormonal. I have had plenty of platonic male friends Then again, most days I am more like a teenage boy than anything else. *shrugs* I have tons of platonic friends via the internet.

    IRL, I have had to walk away from of a couple of my closest friends because their SO's were so insecure that they were threatened by the friendship. I am a fat ugly chick people, not a hot chick. How insecure do you have to be for me to be a threat? *sigh*
  • mswoodsy
    mswoodsy Posts: 91 Member
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    definitely.
    in fact my male friends are far more trust worthy and reliable than my female ones. and ive never felt any sexual pressure between any of them. most of them are really good friends (some even childhood friends) of my husband.

    thats not saying that i cant recognize the fact that theyre attractive or have other desirable qualities. my husband also has female friends, ive never felt threatened or like they over stepped boundries, ever.
  • Strange_magic
    Strange_magic Posts: 370 Member
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    Of course.

    However to be honest for me, the older I get the less I really yearn for male friendship IRL.
    When I DO cut loose from the house, I want it to be with my girls.
  • ravenmiss
    ravenmiss Posts: 384 Member
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    Of course they can!

    If this is based on jealous partners etc, well I'm bisexual so does that mean I can't have any friends at all?

    If your partner doesn't trust you then you have bigger problems going on than who your friends are.
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
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    It is highly dependent on who you are, but for me it really depends. My motto is "If I feel uncomfortable with my husband doing this, I won't do it".

    I don't feel comfortable being *close* friends with single men. Acquaintances, sure. Pleasantries exchanged, of course. Going out for coffee/ texting conversations/ calling just to talk, NOOOooo. If the guy is married, I feel more comfortable, because I know that intentions are, for the most part (with every "guy" friend I have had this far) completely pure and platonic. Even then, I will only meet with them socially with their wife or my husband there. Never do I call/text/private message unless it's to set up double dates or answer simple work related questions.

    Maybe I am a little more conservative than most people, but I never want to give my husband a reason to question my fidelity to him ever. I just love him so much it would break my heart to see him struggle. Again, everyone is different, and you do what works for you. The answer to this question will vary a lot, I think, if you are in a committed relationship.

    Agree with everything here
    Absolutely. Married men would never have sex with women who aren't their wives!

    I think what she was getting at was that there would be no hanging out with them without their wives or her husband.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    of course they can. I have guy friends I can talk to or go out with and have zero desires for.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    So just curious on what the general consensus is here. I strongly believe it can be done. I've done it on many occasions and feel a platonic relationship can exist between a man and woman.

    My experience has been no. One, or both, always ended up having feelings.
  • kshadows
    kshadows Posts: 1,315 Member
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    Yep. My best friend of 13 years is male.

    He's also astoundingly gay, but I don't think it matters ;-)
  • jc_0324
    jc_0324 Posts: 54
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    No, I don't agree. In my experience of trying to have a male friend (unless he was gay), I was always hit on. It's flattering though.
  • LifeOfBrian78
    LifeOfBrian78 Posts: 397 Member
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    It probably depends on the people and their personalities.
  • HardyGirl4Ever
    HardyGirl4Ever Posts: 1,017 Member
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    They definitely can
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    So just curious on what the general consensus is here. I strongly believe it can be done. I've done it on many occasions and feel a platonic relationship can exist between a man and woman.

    My experience has been no. One, or both, always ended up having feelings.


    neither of my very close guy friends have ever hit on me.

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