95lbs~ down, a bit about me saving my own life.

It's good that you're so young and your body was still able to rejuvenate to a degree. Hopefully no permanent damage, but everyday is a gift now anyway. I was a VERY heavy drinker myself for years. I didn't get the swollen liver, but used to throw up blood sometimes an then keep on drinking. I'm happy to hear that you wised up, many people never do. I'm curious though about the weight, BTW you look great. Did you lose 95lbs. in 4 months? If so what was the cause, was it the liver problem, or you couldn't eat? Please explain.

Never mind, I see that you explained the weight loss a couple of posts up.

I ended up having to go to the ER and in to detox and was diagnosed with a cirrhotic liver (to what extent I am not sure still) and almost near fatally high ammonia levels. I was drinking so much, so regularly that before I went in to the ER, I tried to not drink for a few hours before I went in, so I was really low and shaky already while I was there, and was still 4 times the legal limit. I can only imagine how high I was on a normal basis. I would have to wake up in the middle of the night, each night, to chug a bunch so that I was not shaky and feverish the next morning when I got up for work. It was more dangerous for me to not drink, as my motorskill impairment was worse then when I WAS drinking. In 5 years time, until 4 months ago, not one single person, even myself, had seen me sober.

I as well had constant stomach issues with blood and such, I would have to take Zantac and tums constantly, and it would hurt to the point of having to lean a certain way as I sat at work to try and keep any stomach acid from touching the ulcer areas..

I never really had to type all this out, it was just stuff I had to deal with on a regular basis. Now that I read it back to myself...wow.. it was bad..

You are doing such a good job with self-control. You look totally different on the outside. How is the inward change going? Bet you've dealt with a lot of "stuff." Hang in there. Perseverance will create some mighty fine gifts to yourself.

It is hard to explain...I started drinking a lot in my early 20's, and a lot changes for a person by their late 20's, I will be 29 next month. So really... my entire mid 20's were spent in a state of mind that wasn't "me". People say "work on yourself" and things like that... what they don't realize is, I really don't know who that is. Simply from early to late 20's sober, a lot changes in a person, but to basically be blindfolded the entire time and then come to the other end of the tunnel and rip the blindfold off and have someone kick you back out in to the world, it is a lot to take in and try to figure out.

It will take time, but it is all worth it. I unfortunately am back to my shy, quiet, predrinking state of mind. Which is a huge change, as the last few years, I was very out going, excitable, and really fun person. Now I feel fairly boring and reclusive.