Just need to vent

12357

Replies

  • Also, I should add that if you don't like weighing your food, you might want to try Weight Watchers Simple Start program. They basically give you a list of foods you can eat in any quantity and still meet your weight loss goals for the week. If you don't want to pay for weight watchers, you may want to try the following website: http://nutritiondata.self.com/foods-000997000000000000000.html
    It gives you a LONG list of foods that are good to facilitate weight loss.
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
    deleted my post.

    Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.

    Isn't that what you do in every thread you enter?

    mantis.jpg
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
    I meant continue exercising and eating right. Not that I didn't want to continue with life. :)

    Good, but my point is that you started this thread by trashing yourself for being "fat and yucky" and then defended yourself as being healthy. A lot of people in this thread have said something along the lines of - "it sounds like you're not ready." I think they are right.

    My (ultimately irrelevant) opinion is that you do not really know what you want. Either you are content with your lifestyle and consider yourself healthy, which means you really have nothing to "vent" about. Or you are unhappy with your lifestyle and recognize that you need to make some changes. In which case, getting huffy about suggestions on how to accomplish those changes isn't helping you at all.

    I honestly wish you the best OP :flowerforyou:
  • JenD1066
    JenD1066 Posts: 298 Member
    Yes there are so many things I want to do and one will to break up with my loser boyfriend when I get home I been on here all nite reading what he has to say theresamichelle here is Michelle to bad I knew it was u once u said u were going on matience tom
    Are you okay? Are you having a stroke or something? Perhaps your post made sense to YOU, but all I got was "Flarm. Flarm. Blobbem."
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,992 Member
    On your profile you stated you're a teacher.

    If a student came up to you and said "I'll never use English or Science in the real world, so why even bother learning it? I quit."

    What would you do in that situation? Let them fail? Encourage them to quit? You already have the answer to your problem.

    Adding also that about 65% of the US populations refuses to count calories or at least be aware of how much they are consuming. And we are seeing the end result of that. And the age of the person with weight issues is getting lower and lower.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • And you seem like a nice person. I don't want to count calories because there is so much more to being healthy than how many calories you eat. Haven't you learned- if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Guess I will stay away from forums to avoid tools like you.

    Wow. Stay classy OP name calling people who are actually trying to help you? Really? No one has said anything mean to you. No one has said anything mean at all.

    ETA: If you didn't want constructive responses from people trying to help you then maybe next time make this a blog post.

    I guess I have a different idea of what nice and mean are. I think that some of the comments were unhelpful and unnecessary, and just mean. Some people just said it how it was, that is not who I was addressing that to. I was trying to direct that to a particular post, but didn't do the quote thing right.
    .

    Can you help us understand better by telling us which comments you felt were mean?

    I felt there was a lot of negativity coming from a few posters. Most people had something to say about counting calories, and maybe even said it harshly, that is not who I was referring to. I was more bothered by the people who didn't add anything to the conversation but a sarcastic comment (because that is to helpful <<sarcasm). I also don't appreciate basically being told that I am only thinking about myself, and not my son. I said I was eating healthy foods and exercising, but a few people got on my case about not trying. To say something that basically implies that I shouldn't have kids because I am overweight is extremely rude and distasteful.
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
    On your profile you stated you're a teacher.

    If a student came up to you and said "I'll never use English or Science in the real world, so why even bother learning it? I quit."

    What would you do in that situation? Let them fail? Encourage them to quit? You already have the answer to your problem.

    Adding also that about 65% of the US populations refuses to count calories or at least be aware of how much they are consuming. And we are seeing the end result of that. And the age of the person with weight issues is getting lower and lower.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    QFT
  • I meant continue exercising and eating right. Not that I didn't want to continue with life. :)

    Good, but my point is that you started this thread by trashing yourself for being "fat and yucky" and then defended yourself as being healthy. A lot of people in this thread have said something along the lines of - "it sounds like you're not ready." I think they are right.

    My (ultimately irrelevant) opinion is that you do not really know what you want. Either you are content with your lifestyle and consider yourself healthy, which means you really have nothing to "vent" about. Or you are unhappy with your lifestyle and recognize that you need to make some changes. In which case, getting huffy about suggestions on how to accomplish those changes isn't helping you at all.

    I honestly wish you the best OP :flowerforyou:

    I see what you are saying. When I said I felt "fat and yucky," I meant that my clothes feel tight and stuff like that. Overall, my actual health is good. Being fairly healthy and feeling it are not the same thing though.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    And you seem like a nice person. I don't want to count calories because there is so much more to being healthy than how many calories you eat. Haven't you learned- if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Guess I will stay away from forums to avoid tools like you.

    Wow. Stay classy OP name calling people who are actually trying to help you? Really? No one has said anything mean to you. No one has said anything mean at all.

    ETA: If you didn't want constructive responses from people trying to help you then maybe next time make this a blog post.

    I guess I have a different idea of what nice and mean are. I think that some of the comments were unhelpful and unnecessary, and just mean. Some people just said it how it was, that is not who I was addressing that to. I was trying to direct that to a particular post, but didn't do the quote thing right.
    .

    Can you help us understand better by telling us which comments you felt were mean?

    I felt there was a lot of negativity coming from a few posters. Most people had something to say about counting calories, and maybe even said it harshly, that is not who I was referring to. I was more bothered by the people who didn't add anything to the conversation but a sarcastic comment (because that is to helpful <<sarcasm). I also don't appreciate basically being told that I am only thinking about myself, and not my son. I said I was eating healthy foods and exercising, but a few people got on my case about not trying. To say something that basically implies that I shouldn't have kids because I am overweight is extremely rude and distasteful.

    Ok. Well I commented on the kid thing, so I get you there.

    In terms of calorie counting, again, it's what we do here. It helps us define our deficit. I can eat over my maintenance in good healthy food and gain weight because it's only the calories that matter (for weight loss). That's all people are trying to say, even if the delivery is blunt.

    It does take work to count calories. I would encourage you to try - you have had success in the past. But, if you don't want to, that is your choice. Running is a great thing. You should continue that. Just remember that you can't out exercise a surplus diet (believe me, I've tried :laugh: )
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
    To lose weight you have to eat at a deficit.

    To eat at a deficit you have to know how much you are eating.

    To know how much you are eating you have to weigh and measure everything you eat.

    The first sentence is true, the second and third are not. You need a deficit for fat loss. That is ALL you need. How is personal preference.

    Every word here is very true! You cannot correct a correct post. There are many ways to lose weight and people have their own way of doing so. This is one of them.

    So, you feel that you must correct this why? To prove a point? To feel bigger?

    Because this is a way to lose weight and your way is without calorie counting, does not make either your way or her way incorrect.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I meant continue exercising and eating right. Not that I didn't want to continue with life. :)

    Good, but my point is that you started this thread by trashing yourself for being "fat and yucky" and then defended yourself as being healthy. A lot of people in this thread have said something along the lines of - "it sounds like you're not ready." I think they are right.

    My (ultimately irrelevant) opinion is that you do not really know what you want. Either you are content with your lifestyle and consider yourself healthy, which means you really have nothing to "vent" about. Or you are unhappy with your lifestyle and recognize that you need to make some changes. In which case, getting huffy about suggestions on how to accomplish those changes isn't helping you at all.

    I honestly wish you the best OP :flowerforyou:

    I see what you are saying. When I said I felt "fat and yucky," I meant that my clothes feel tight and stuff like that. Overall, my actual health is good. Being fairly healthy and feeling it are not the same thing though.

    Denial is a funny thing. We see it in others, but rarely see it in ourselves except in hindsight
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    I see what you are saying. When I said I felt "fat and yucky," I meant that my clothes feel tight and stuff like that. Overall, my actual health is good. Being fairly healthy and feeling it are not the same thing though.

    This is so true. I think many people, healthy or not, have those fat and yucky days. I know I do.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey
  • deleted my post.

    Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.

    No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.

    OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.

    Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help

    Totally missed that before. I will check it out.

    One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    I meant continue exercising and eating right. Not that I didn't want to continue with life. :)

    Good, but my point is that you started this thread by trashing yourself for being "fat and yucky" and then defended yourself as being healthy. A lot of people in this thread have said something along the lines of - "it sounds like you're not ready." I think they are right.

    My (ultimately irrelevant) opinion is that you do not really know what you want. Either you are content with your lifestyle and consider yourself healthy, which means you really have nothing to "vent" about. Or you are unhappy with your lifestyle and recognize that you need to make some changes. In which case, getting huffy about suggestions on how to accomplish those changes isn't helping you at all.

    I honestly wish you the best OP :flowerforyou:

    I see what you are saying. When I said I felt "fat and yucky," I meant that my clothes feel tight and stuff like that. Overall, my actual health is good. Being fairly healthy and feeling it are not the same thing though.
    Personally, I think there's a lot of "in between" from being content with your lifestyle and considering yourself healthy or being unhappy and wanting to make changes. I've been there the whole time - in a state of "I don't really care but I suppose I try it".

    OP, I hope you feel better soon! Just realize - even if you're not losing weight but are eating healthy foods, you're still better off than someone who is maintaining eating crappy foods (especially since you're concerned about the additives in low fat things). At least you are more likely giving your body more or more variety of good nutrients. You can choose when you want to lose weight or not. But don't give up your efforts, even if you're just maintaining. A stronger heart and lungs and not having scurvy (haha not that you had it before, just using it as an example) are still a great reasons to eat healthily.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    deleted my post.

    Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.

    No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.

    OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.

    Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help

    Totally missed that before. I will check it out.

    One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.

    I think it's awesome you lost 90 pounds. If you did it once, you can do it again. You can absolutely be successful at this.

    People got distracted because the thread got high jacked and may have missed your comment and/or skimmed your OP.
  • While you absolutely are making sacrifices and putting effort in the truth is that you MUST discipline yourself harder to reach a higher goal. Hats off to you for the running because all hard work gains a profit, its just unseen at this point. Don't focus on the pounds, focus on your ideal body and wellness but then fuel your vision with steps of action! Action is the greatest motivator. Test and tweak until you succeed.

    Will I Am
    Follow me @ gotencouragement.gr8.com
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey

    Honestly, just stop.

    You have no basis to talk about her children. She is exercising. She eating nutritious foods. She has lost weight in the past.

    Your post is not helpful in any way.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Technically, if you're overweight while pregnant, it is not necessary to gain any weight at all.

    This can be true. Lucky for me, I gained the amount suggested for my weight. I didn't gain a ton like some people who gain 70 pounds while pregnant. I was actually pretty proud of that fact that I only gained what was considered an acceptable amount.

    *raises hand* I gained a ton during my last pregnancy. I also had severe edema, joint issues, and vertigo which landed me on modified bed rest and screwed my TDEE all to h-e-double hockey sticks, but it meant giving birth to a living, healthy baby. But congrats to you for only gaining an "acceptable" amount. Maybe you can have someone make you a sash and crown so everyone can know that you're better than all those other pregnant women out there whose individual situations you don't know.

    Now, onto your issue in the OP - I was where you are a year ago. I still had pregnancy weight. I thought I was eating better - cooking more meals at home, and that if I just exercised a bit and cut back on snacks, the weight would come off. Guess what - I was wrong. I exercised, and the weight stayed the same. For seven weeks, the scale didn't move, despite exercising 6 days a week. It wasn't until I got my act together and started weighing and measuring my food that I started to lose. The food I was eating was fine, but the portions were way off. I was also eating more because of the exercise, but not being mindful of how much more.

    If you're not ready to put in the work, that's fine. I joined here in April 2013, quit after a few weeks, then came back Oct 2013 and stuck it out. If you want to lose, then use the tools available to you to figure out what's preventing you from losing now, and make changes. If you can't identify the problem, you can't fix it.
  • but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey

    Ok, Now I am officially offended by you. (and very angry-just saying that now since I am about to say some mean stuff).

    Did you actually read what I read? I eat healthy and exercise, but am not losing weight. I'm not gaining weight either. To basically say that I do not care about my son is a load of crap. SERIOUSLY, who do you think you are??? Where the hell did I say that I don't care about his welfare. To get on here and accuse me of not caring about my son because I'm fat is completely distasteful.

    You said, "but your children should matter"...UMMM, WHERE DID I SAY THAT MY CHILD DOESN'T MATTER. AT WHAT POINT DID I WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE THAT????!!??" What kind of person jumps to the conclusion that someone's children do not matter because they are overweight. Especially if they are eating right and exercising. ALSO, I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I SAID MY CHILD DIDN'T MATTER.

    Sorry for the yelling, but I can't believe that someone would actually say something like that. I half think it is a troll trying to get me going, because what kind of human being would make judgement and comments like that. Completely irrational comments. I hate to say it, but I can totally tell that this poster doesn't have children.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    deleted my post.

    Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.

    No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.

    OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.

    Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help

    Totally missed that before. I will check it out.

    One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.

    This is a very common tale. Most people who lose weight don't keep it off long term. That's a fact. Most of the people on this site who have lost or are losing will not keep it off long term.

    Those are dire facts, but it shouldn't keep us from trying. Because what is the alternative? Give up? What good will that do?
  • 1frugaldreams
    1frugaldreams Posts: 8 Member
    Keep exercising. It adds years to your life. I work at a large medical university and one of our researchers studied the difference in health between obese people who exercise v.s. obese people who do not and the differences are amazing. You really do literally add years, often decades to your life. You also hugely improve your odds of surviving a heart attack or stroke and with much less damage than a non-exerciser. In some areas of health obese exercisers rated higher than non-obese non-exercisers.

    The results of his study were dramatic enough that the university produced a video about it and required all 15,000+ employees to watch it. Exercise, even with out calorie counting, can hugely improve your quality and length of life. 20 minutes, every day and you don't need to run. Fast walking provides the same or close to same benefits for the obese with less tear on the body.

    Exercise because it makes you feel better and live longer. Everyone wants a long happy life. Exercise is a way to get that. :)
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey

    Ok, Now I am officially offended by you. (and very angry-just saying that now since I am about to say some mean stuff).

    Did you actually read what I read? I eat healthy and exercise, but am not losing weight. I'm not gaining weight either. To basically say that I do not care about my son is a load of crap. SERIOUSLY, who do you think you are??? Where the hell did I say that I don't care about his welfare. To get on here and accuse me of not caring about my son because I'm fat is completely distasteful.

    You said, "but your children should matter"...UMMM, WHERE DID I SAY THAT MY CHILD DOESN'T MATTER. AT WHAT POINT DID I WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE THAT????!!??" What kind of person jumps to the conclusion that someone's children do not matter because they are overweight. Especially if they are eating right and exercising. ALSO, I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I SAID MY CHILD DIDN'T MATTER.

    Sorry for the yelling, but I can't believe that someone would actually say something like that. I half think it is a troll trying to get me going, because what kind of human being would make judgement and comments like that. Completely irrational comments. I hate to say it, but I can totally tell that this poster doesn't have children.

    Ah yes, all caps meanie rant. Good stuff
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    deleted my post.

    Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.

    No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.

    OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.

    Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help

    Totally missed that before. I will check it out.

    One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.

    I am a retired teacher. I have lost and gained the same weight for YEARS before stumbling on MFP. I guess my last comment to you will be this: I thought exactly like you until I realized that to keep my weight off, I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life. I'm older than you and while I have been extremely overweight and never had any health issues other than weight, my lack of health issues wasn't going to last. I know that now.

    I've been where you are. Now, I'm here. I will be counting, logging and training until I can no longer operate my computer and pick up my barbell.

    As others have said, and what was said to me: When you're ready, you will succeed. I just can't ever stop the monitoring. I have too many years under my belt to let go of the handlebars. It's very important to me. Good luck.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey

    Ok, Now I am officially offended by you. (and very angry-just saying that now since I am about to say some mean stuff).

    Did you actually read what I read? I eat healthy and exercise, but am not losing weight. I'm not gaining weight either. To basically say that I do not care about my son is a load of crap. SERIOUSLY, who do you think you are??? Where the hell did I say that I don't care about his welfare. To get on here and accuse me of not caring about my son because I'm fat is completely distasteful.

    You said, "but your children should matter"...UMMM, WHERE DID I SAY THAT MY CHILD DOESN'T MATTER. AT WHAT POINT DID I WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE THAT????!!??" What kind of person jumps to the conclusion that someone's children do not matter because they are overweight. Especially if they are eating right and exercising. ALSO, I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I SAID MY CHILD DIDN'T MATTER.

    Sorry for the yelling, but I can't believe that someone would actually say something like that. I half think it is a troll trying to get me going, because what kind of human being would make judgement and comments like that. Completely irrational comments. I hate to say it, but I can totally tell that this poster doesn't have children.

    Ah yes, all caps meanie rant. Good stuff

    In all fairness, OP already mentioned twice that she didn't want her kids brought into the discussion and he posted again anyway.

    OP - you would be better off to just ignore that guy if it's upsetting you so much.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey

    Honestly, just stop.

    You have no basis to talk about her children. She is exercising. She eating nutritious foods. She has lost weight in the past.

    Your post is not helpful in any way.

    OP won't listen, it's not pretty, and it's not nice, but the poster is right. I've seen it happen again and again. People who don't lose weight often die young. If you care about your kids then take care of yourself. It's harsh truth but truth. I know it's fashionable to say we do this all only for ourselves, but I do it as much for my family as myself. It sucked when I had trouble keeping up with my first and I sure as hell don't want to die on them.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey

    Pro tip: living leads to mortality.
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  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style

    think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE

    its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....

    best wishes on your journey

    Honestly, just stop.

    You have no basis to talk about her children. She is exercising. She eating nutritious foods. She has lost weight in the past.

    Your post is not helpful in any way.

    OP won't listen, it's not pretty, and it's not nice, but the poster is right. I've seen it happen again and again. People who don't lose weight often die young. If you care about your kids then take care of yourself. It's harsh truth but truth. I know it's fashionable to say we do this all only for ourselves, but I do it as much for my family as myself. It sucked when I had trouble keeping up with my first and I sure as hell don't want to die on them.

    I get that! I quit smoking because I want to be here for the family I don't even have yet. :laugh:

    I think it's the delivery - the way you said it is far less abrasive that the post in question.
  • And you seem like a nice person. I don't want to count calories because there is so much more to being healthy than how many calories you eat. Haven't you learned- if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Guess I will stay away from forums to avoid tools like you.

    Wow. Stay classy OP name calling people who are actually trying to help you? Really? No one has said anything mean to you. No one has said anything mean at all.

    ETA: If you didn't want constructive responses from people trying to help you then maybe next time make this a blog post.

    I guess I have a different idea of what nice and mean are. I think that some of the comments were unhelpful and unnecessary, and just mean. Some people just said it how it was, that is not who I was addressing that to. I was trying to direct that to a particular post, but didn't do the quote thing right.
    .

    Can you help us understand better by telling us which comments you felt were mean?

    I felt there was a lot of negativity coming from a few posters. Most people had something to say about counting calories, and maybe even said it harshly, that is not who I was referring to. I was more bothered by the people who didn't add anything to the conversation but a sarcastic comment (because that is to helpful <<sarcasm). I also don't appreciate basically being told that I am only thinking about myself, and not my son. I said I was eating healthy foods and exercising, but a few people got on my case about not trying. To say something that basically implies that I shouldn't have kids because I am overweight is extremely rude and distasteful.

    Ok. Well I commented on the kid thing, so I get you there.

    In terms of calorie counting, again, it's what we do here. It helps us define our deficit. I can eat over my maintenance in good healthy food and gain weight because it's only the calories that matter (for weight loss). That's all people are trying to say, even if the delivery is blunt.

    It does take work to count calories. I would encourage you to try - you have had success in the past. But, if you don't want to, that is your choice. Running is a great thing. You should continue that. Just remember that you can't out exercise a surplus diet (believe me, I've tried :laugh: )

    I am actually ok with the harsh but true comments. I wish people might be a little kinder, but whatever. It is what it is. At least they were helpful. Some were just hurtful and not helpful at all. That is who I have the problem with.
  • Technically, if you're overweight while pregnant, it is not necessary to gain any weight at all.

    This can be true. Lucky for me, I gained the amount suggested for my weight. I didn't gain a ton like some people who gain 70 pounds while pregnant. I was actually pretty proud of that fact that I only gained what was considered an acceptable amount.

    *raises hand* I gained a ton during my last pregnancy. I also had severe edema, joint issues, and vertigo which landed me on modified bed rest and screwed my TDEE all to h-e-double hockey sticks, but it meant giving birth to a living, healthy baby. But congrats to you for only gaining an "acceptable" amount. Maybe you can have someone make you a sash and crown so everyone can know that you're better than all those other pregnant women out there whose individual situations you don't know.

    Now, onto your issue in the OP - I was where you are a year ago. I still had pregnancy weight. I thought I was eating better - cooking more meals at home, and that if I just exercised a bit and cut back on snacks, the weight would come off. Guess what - I was wrong. I exercised, and the weight stayed the same. For seven weeks, the scale didn't move, despite exercising 6 days a week. It wasn't until I got my act together and started weighing and measuring my food that I started to lose. The food I was eating was fine, but the portions were way off. I was also eating more because of the exercise, but not being mindful of how much more.

    If you're not ready to put in the work, that's fine. I joined here in April 2013, quit after a few weeks, then came back Oct 2013 and stuck it out. If you want to lose, then use the tools available to you to figure out what's preventing you from losing now, and make changes. If you can't identify the problem, you can't fix it.

    I apologize, but I think you read that totally wrong, or at least not as I intended. I was not trying to be critical of people who gain more in pregnancy. I was trying to make a point to the poster who basically said that fat people shouldn't gain pregnancy weight at all Typing sucks because people read tone of voice that may or may not be there. I am glad you had a healthy baby. :) That is what matters most.