Just need to vent
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deleted my post.
Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
This is a very common tale. Most people who lose weight don't keep it off long term. That's a fact. Most of the people on this site who have lost or are losing will not keep it off long term.
Those are dire facts, but it shouldn't keep us from trying. Because what is the alternative? Give up? What good will that do?0 -
Keep exercising. It adds years to your life. I work at a large medical university and one of our researchers studied the difference in health between obese people who exercise v.s. obese people who do not and the differences are amazing. You really do literally add years, often decades to your life. You also hugely improve your odds of surviving a heart attack or stroke and with much less damage than a non-exerciser. In some areas of health obese exercisers rated higher than non-obese non-exercisers.
The results of his study were dramatic enough that the university produced a video about it and required all 15,000+ employees to watch it. Exercise, even with out calorie counting, can hugely improve your quality and length of life. 20 minutes, every day and you don't need to run. Fast walking provides the same or close to same benefits for the obese with less tear on the body.
Exercise because it makes you feel better and live longer. Everyone wants a long happy life. Exercise is a way to get that.
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but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style
think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE
its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....
best wishes on your journey
Ok, Now I am officially offended by you. (and very angry-just saying that now since I am about to say some mean stuff).
Did you actually read what I read? I eat healthy and exercise, but am not losing weight. I'm not gaining weight either. To basically say that I do not care about my son is a load of crap. SERIOUSLY, who do you think you are??? Where the hell did I say that I don't care about his welfare. To get on here and accuse me of not caring about my son because I'm fat is completely distasteful.
You said, "but your children should matter"...UMMM, WHERE DID I SAY THAT MY CHILD DOESN'T MATTER. AT WHAT POINT DID I WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE THAT????!!??" What kind of person jumps to the conclusion that someone's children do not matter because they are overweight. Especially if they are eating right and exercising. ALSO, I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I SAID MY CHILD DIDN'T MATTER.
Sorry for the yelling, but I can't believe that someone would actually say something like that. I half think it is a troll trying to get me going, because what kind of human being would make judgement and comments like that. Completely irrational comments. I hate to say it, but I can totally tell that this poster doesn't have children.
Ah yes, all caps meanie rant. Good stuff0 -
deleted my post.
Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
I am a retired teacher. I have lost and gained the same weight for YEARS before stumbling on MFP. I guess my last comment to you will be this: I thought exactly like you until I realized that to keep my weight off, I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life. I'm older than you and while I have been extremely overweight and never had any health issues other than weight, my lack of health issues wasn't going to last. I know that now.
I've been where you are. Now, I'm here. I will be counting, logging and training until I can no longer operate my computer and pick up my barbell.
As others have said, and what was said to me: When you're ready, you will succeed. I just can't ever stop the monitoring. I have too many years under my belt to let go of the handlebars. It's very important to me. Good luck.0 -
but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style
think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE
its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....
best wishes on your journey
Ok, Now I am officially offended by you. (and very angry-just saying that now since I am about to say some mean stuff).
Did you actually read what I read? I eat healthy and exercise, but am not losing weight. I'm not gaining weight either. To basically say that I do not care about my son is a load of crap. SERIOUSLY, who do you think you are??? Where the hell did I say that I don't care about his welfare. To get on here and accuse me of not caring about my son because I'm fat is completely distasteful.
You said, "but your children should matter"...UMMM, WHERE DID I SAY THAT MY CHILD DOESN'T MATTER. AT WHAT POINT DID I WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE THAT????!!??" What kind of person jumps to the conclusion that someone's children do not matter because they are overweight. Especially if they are eating right and exercising. ALSO, I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I SAID MY CHILD DIDN'T MATTER.
Sorry for the yelling, but I can't believe that someone would actually say something like that. I half think it is a troll trying to get me going, because what kind of human being would make judgement and comments like that. Completely irrational comments. I hate to say it, but I can totally tell that this poster doesn't have children.
Ah yes, all caps meanie rant. Good stuff
In all fairness, OP already mentioned twice that she didn't want her kids brought into the discussion and he posted again anyway.
OP - you would be better off to just ignore that guy if it's upsetting you so much.0 -
but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style
think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE
its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....
best wishes on your journey
Honestly, just stop.
You have no basis to talk about her children. She is exercising. She eating nutritious foods. She has lost weight in the past.
Your post is not helpful in any way.
OP won't listen, it's not pretty, and it's not nice, but the poster is right. I've seen it happen again and again. People who don't lose weight often die young. If you care about your kids then take care of yourself. It's harsh truth but truth. I know it's fashionable to say we do this all only for ourselves, but I do it as much for my family as myself. It sucked when I had trouble keeping up with my first and I sure as hell don't want to die on them.0 -
but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style
think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE
its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....
best wishes on your journey
Pro tip: living leads to mortality.
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but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style
think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE
its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....
best wishes on your journey
Honestly, just stop.
You have no basis to talk about her children. She is exercising. She eating nutritious foods. She has lost weight in the past.
Your post is not helpful in any way.
OP won't listen, it's not pretty, and it's not nice, but the poster is right. I've seen it happen again and again. People who don't lose weight often die young. If you care about your kids then take care of yourself. It's harsh truth but truth. I know it's fashionable to say we do this all only for ourselves, but I do it as much for my family as myself. It sucked when I had trouble keeping up with my first and I sure as hell don't want to die on them.
I get that! I quit smoking because I want to be here for the family I don't even have yet. :laugh:
I think it's the delivery - the way you said it is far less abrasive that the post in question.0 -
And you seem like a nice person. I don't want to count calories because there is so much more to being healthy than how many calories you eat. Haven't you learned- if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Guess I will stay away from forums to avoid tools like you.
Wow. Stay classy OP name calling people who are actually trying to help you? Really? No one has said anything mean to you. No one has said anything mean at all.
ETA: If you didn't want constructive responses from people trying to help you then maybe next time make this a blog post.
I guess I have a different idea of what nice and mean are. I think that some of the comments were unhelpful and unnecessary, and just mean. Some people just said it how it was, that is not who I was addressing that to. I was trying to direct that to a particular post, but didn't do the quote thing right.
.
Can you help us understand better by telling us which comments you felt were mean?
I felt there was a lot of negativity coming from a few posters. Most people had something to say about counting calories, and maybe even said it harshly, that is not who I was referring to. I was more bothered by the people who didn't add anything to the conversation but a sarcastic comment (because that is to helpful <<sarcasm). I also don't appreciate basically being told that I am only thinking about myself, and not my son. I said I was eating healthy foods and exercising, but a few people got on my case about not trying. To say something that basically implies that I shouldn't have kids because I am overweight is extremely rude and distasteful.
Ok. Well I commented on the kid thing, so I get you there.
In terms of calorie counting, again, it's what we do here. It helps us define our deficit. I can eat over my maintenance in good healthy food and gain weight because it's only the calories that matter (for weight loss). That's all people are trying to say, even if the delivery is blunt.
It does take work to count calories. I would encourage you to try - you have had success in the past. But, if you don't want to, that is your choice. Running is a great thing. You should continue that. Just remember that you can't out exercise a surplus diet (believe me, I've tried :laugh: )
I am actually ok with the harsh but true comments. I wish people might be a little kinder, but whatever. It is what it is. At least they were helpful. Some were just hurtful and not helpful at all. That is who I have the problem with.0 -
Technically, if you're overweight while pregnant, it is not necessary to gain any weight at all.
This can be true. Lucky for me, I gained the amount suggested for my weight. I didn't gain a ton like some people who gain 70 pounds while pregnant. I was actually pretty proud of that fact that I only gained what was considered an acceptable amount.
*raises hand* I gained a ton during my last pregnancy. I also had severe edema, joint issues, and vertigo which landed me on modified bed rest and screwed my TDEE all to h-e-double hockey sticks, but it meant giving birth to a living, healthy baby. But congrats to you for only gaining an "acceptable" amount. Maybe you can have someone make you a sash and crown so everyone can know that you're better than all those other pregnant women out there whose individual situations you don't know.
Now, onto your issue in the OP - I was where you are a year ago. I still had pregnancy weight. I thought I was eating better - cooking more meals at home, and that if I just exercised a bit and cut back on snacks, the weight would come off. Guess what - I was wrong. I exercised, and the weight stayed the same. For seven weeks, the scale didn't move, despite exercising 6 days a week. It wasn't until I got my act together and started weighing and measuring my food that I started to lose. The food I was eating was fine, but the portions were way off. I was also eating more because of the exercise, but not being mindful of how much more.
If you're not ready to put in the work, that's fine. I joined here in April 2013, quit after a few weeks, then came back Oct 2013 and stuck it out. If you want to lose, then use the tools available to you to figure out what's preventing you from losing now, and make changes. If you can't identify the problem, you can't fix it.
I apologize, but I think you read that totally wrong, or at least not as I intended. I was not trying to be critical of people who gain more in pregnancy. I was trying to make a point to the poster who basically said that fat people shouldn't gain pregnancy weight at all Typing sucks because people read tone of voice that may or may not be there. I am glad you had a healthy baby. That is what matters most. 0 -
I snorted coffeeYes there are so many things I want to do and one will to break up with my loser boyfriend when I get home I been on here all nite reading what he has to say theresamichelle here is Michelle to bad I knew it was u once u said u were going on matience tom
This.
But seriously, when I first started running in 2010/2011, I took it as a license to eat whatever I wanted. I think I was running 3, maybe 4 time a week, and nothing beyond 3-5 miles. After my 1.5 years away from running, I learned the hard truth about my eating habits. It doesn't help when everyone who knows that you run kinda perpetuates the myth that you can eat everything in sight. Running isn't a magic bullet - calorie control is.0 -
To lose weight you have to eat at a deficit.
To eat at a deficit you have to know how much you are eating.
To know how much you are eating you have to weigh and measure everything you eat.
When you are ready you will do those things…It's okay that you aren't ready now, when you are you'll know…and when you are follow this link for a lot of helpful info.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
this all the way0 -
but your children should matter.............you need to be there to have concern for his welfare and upbringing........what about cancer, what about diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke...........there was one girl who is overweight who just this last weekend had a stroke at our office..........she was massive, and her husband is now stating that he would get after her about her life style
think about your children......they need you to be healthy and there for them in life...........if I had kids, I would think about their welfare FIRST.......NOT MINE
its harsh, but obesity leads to mortality..............ask a Dr and they will let you know when you go for a Dr appt.....
best wishes on your journey
Honestly, just stop.
You have no basis to talk about her children. She is exercising. She eating nutritious foods. She has lost weight in the past.
Your post is not helpful in any way.
OP won't listen, it's not pretty, and it's not nice, but the poster is right. I've seen it happen again and again. People who don't lose weight often die young. If you care about your kids then take care of yourself. It's harsh truth but truth. I know it's fashionable to say we do this all only for ourselves, but I do it as much for my family as myself. It sucked when I had trouble keeping up with my first and I sure as hell don't want to die on them.
I get that! I quit smoking because I want to be here for the family I don't even have yet. :laugh:
I think it's the delivery - the way you said it is far less abrasive that the post in question.
That is true. The other poster, who knows nothing about me other than that I am fat and eating right and exercising and not losing weight (yes, because I need to eat less of the better- for- me foods), made statements about how much I care about my son. Did you care about your child less when you were heavy? Did you suddenly love him more when you lost weight? I doubt it. And to have someone straight up say that I don't care or that he doesn't matter is complete crap. Plus, I can't stand it when people who don't have kids say, "If I had kids, I would...x y and z." It is so frustrating. In regards to the rant, at least I acknowledged it while writing. I let that person seriously piss me off, but dang, I can't even write about what I think that person is.0 -
I really know exactly how you feel. I've struggled my entire life with my weight, but 2 years ago I became pregnant and after the birth I couldn't get off the extra pounds. For 2 years I've exercised 3-4X per week, was eating healthy, however I was under the impression that I wasn't eating very much. This past August I cut my calories down to about 1000 per day, trying to drink 8 glasses of water per day and exercising 3-4X per week and I've lost 21 lbs. I know you don't want to count your calories, but believe me, it holds you accountable and puts things into perspective. Some would argue that 1000 calories is too low for me, but I feel much better, sleep better, have more energy (which I need with a 2 year old) and my blood pressure is lower. I have totally been where you are right now, feeling hopeless and saying "what's the point?" also, but you can do it. Discipline and I have never been really good friends in this area, but the truth is you have to be disciplined and have your mind set to accomplish the goal. YOU CAN DO IT!0
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There are plenty of days I feel just like you. I have been trying forever to get weight off and if I look back over the years, I have lost some but gained it plus more back. I wonder if I have just given up too soon? I also have had several injuries and health issues. Currently, I weight more than I did 9 months pregnant (15 years ago!). But I have a good friend who is also on MFP who has been in the same boat and he finally decided to run. He started with C25K and worked his way up from there. He is now down almost 30 lbs (he is 5'6) and looks fantastic. He is still running and after working at it for a year can be proud of what he has accomplished. He has a busy life and has made himself and his health a priority. I need to do the same!0
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OP, if you look at someone's user name, there is a little blue arrow next to it (underneath their profile pic). You can click that and select Ignore User, and then you won't see their posts. It comes in really handy sometimes.0
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You may not be ready yet. FWIW I waited until I got a wake-up call with some health issues. They will probably improve with weight loss. But, now I am kicking myself saying "why didn't I do this sooner?"
That's great you lost weight before. I am sure it is frustrating that you gained it back. But, if you did it once you know how to do it again.
The people here really do know a lot. Some of it I don't like to hear, but they know what works.
And, you can do things in baby steps. Maybe start running again if you have stopped, before you start counting calories. Or the other way around.0 -
And re: the health vs. weight loss thing, it's a balancing act. You can pick a crazy low goal and eat nothing but rice cakes and protein powder, and you'll end up skinny but sick. Or you can ignore calories and eat as much "healthy" food as you want (however you define that -- it's different for every person), and your overall health may improve but you won't lose weight.
Maybe something in the middle?
Pick a moderate weight loss goal, like 1 pound or even 1/2 pound a week. Don't automatically reach for low-fat products, if for no other reason than they tend to taste nasty. If you can find a calorie target that lets you eat the things you like, and enough of them that you don't feel deprived, the weight will start to come off without feeling like you're constantly struggling.
Weight loss isn't punishment, and it shouldn't make you feel like you are suffering. Slow and steady still gets you there, and it keeps you happy with your life while you're losing.0 -
OP, if you look at someone's user name, there is a little blue arrow next to it (underneath their profile pic). You can click that and select Ignore User, and then you won't see their posts. It comes in really handy sometimes.
Thanks, because I am letting myself get way to worked up by that person.0 -
I lost 20 lbs when tracking my calories and exercise on MFP. Then I stopped logging for a year or two and gained it all back. So I've returned. I now have my wife on here as well and we joined a gym with my 15 year old daughter.
Tracking, like exercise, will become habit and you'll see the difference.
Be patient. Don't give up. Frustrations will happen. So will victories.
I wish you the best of luck.0
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